u/Dependent_Speech3164

I’ve been in here before ranting and looking for guidance on my annoying af late diagnosed mother (diagnosed at like 54) it is insanely annoying. She wants everyone to have autism. My nieces are 8&4. Little kids get overstimulated easily. To my mom that means autism.

She was singing stuff with my niece, her sentences and things. It was fun, I was doing it too. It was bedtime and I was watching them (I live with my parents) and my dad made a comment on how my niece is having fun, but staying up late, and using grandma as way to stay up 😂….
Singing noooo…. It’s a neurodivergent thing….
She tells my sister both her kids are autistic, apparently in autistic… everyone is autistic. It’s annoying!

I’m asking for advice because I want to say something to my sister about the way she speaks around my nieces… because if the things my sister’s eldest was saying yesterday… (it was a day off, I slept in) my niece: “you slept a lot this morning”
I was like yeah I was sleepy…
My niece: “well that’s what happens when you don’t get any days off and do extra work right?”

Like why is an 8 year old saying that???

So my first post/rant on here about my mo who was diagnosed in her late 50s and is using it as a crutch to behave like a child… (her tantrums got worse and she is super loud and annoying and comes off with the “I have autism” every time someone says something t her she doesn’t like…)

Anyways someone mentioned borderline personality disorder. That is also 100%%%%%%!!!!!

OMFG dude… just now I was refreshing my curly hair and mentioned how I need to get it cut cuz it’s getting annoying to take care of 😂 and too long for my liking anyways.

10 min later “hey can you help me with this?” In like “with what?” She shows me her hair that does have some waves, but not curly like mine.
“I need help with my curls, I’ve let it get too long and they’re weighed down… it’s so annoying.”

She has never had curls, some natural waves yes, but no curls ever, her hair can’t even hold curls done with a curling iron and tons of hairspray…

I guess this is more of a rant than advice seeking but ugh. I guess the advice is just… how do I work past this? I try my best to stay away from her, she seeks me out, it’s hard living at home again… I can’t wait to leave…

So I forget to eat… idk it’s gotten worse over the years, I either work thru my hunger, try to snack while working, or straight up forget to eat. Usually the latter…

Soooo. I was really hungry today, noticed I hadn’t really eaten so I got McDonald’s, I’m tight on cash and cheating the system with the app I can get a meal for usually like $5 if I wait the 15 min to get multiple deals… so that’s mainly my go to for food now.

Anywho… I ate that crap, felt good, walked around my town… later today, I had a healthy choice frozen dinner m, sweet and sour chicken… and then I had some of my mango passionfruit juice, and I added coconut wanted to dilute it a bit.

About 15 min later I had a headache, I felt my heart racing and felt very confused. I kept looking for something, and I was freaking out because I swear stuff was moving… like I don’t remember putting somewhere, that I ended up finding it… I was worried because of how confused I was… I had brain surgery dry last year for my epilepsy (now seizure free! 😊) so I thought something was wrong.

I’m scared. I’ve been having issues of mast cell activation too. Sudden allergic reactions to everything. Could it have been that? I did get a pounding headache which when consuming AI for help understanding this (don’t hate or judge please cuz I can never really find help in other health subreddits) it mentioned my pounding headaches during reactions of histamines is from exactly that… my mast cells releasing histamines, and that they’re kind of on high alert since the surgery? Idk

Anyone have advice? I’ve already sent messages to my doctors.

So I forget to eat… idk it’s gotten worse over the years, I either work thru my hunger, try to snack while working, or straight up forget to eat. Usually the latter…

Soooo. I was really hungry today, noticed I hadn’t really eaten so I got McDonald’s, I’m tight on cash and cheating the system with the app I can get a meal for usually like $5 if I wait the 15 min to get multiple deals… so that’s mainly my go to for food now.

Anywho… I ate that crap, felt good, walked around my town… later today, I had a healthy choice frozen dinner m, sweet and sour chicken… and then I had some of my mango passionfruit juice, and I added coconut wanted to dilute it a bit.

About 15 min later I had a headache, I felt my heart racing and felt very confused. I kept looking for something, and I was freaking out because I swear stuff was moving… like I don’t remember putting somewhere, that I ended up finding it… I was worried because of how confused I was… I had brain surgery dry last year for my epilepsy (now seizure free! 😊) so I thought something was wrong.

I’m scared. I’ve been having issues of mast cell activation too. Sudden allergic reactions to everything. Could it have been that? I did get a pounding headache which when consuming AI for help understanding this (don’t hate or judge please cuz I can never really find help in other health subreddits) it mentioned my pounding headaches during reactions of histamines is from exactly that… my mast cells releasing histamines, and that they’re kind of on high alert since the surgery? Idk

Anyone have advice? I’ve already sent messages to my doctors.

So I’ll preface by saying my mother is a hypochondriac and has always self diagnosed things (that turned out to be something else) my entire life…
A few years ago she got a diagnosis that I’m just 🤷‍♀️ about… because her behavior got worse afterwards. I’m generally looking for insight… sorry for how long this is.

So years ago when I forced by mentally abusive parents to come with me to therapy, they were diagnosed bipolar and ADHD… fast forward 15 years… my mom seeks mental help on better help.com…. And gets an autism diagnosis…

She then proceeds to tell me I’m autistic because I like to collect things and have a certain way of doing a few things… (I’m epileptic and was recently diagnosed ADHD)

So for the hell of if I asked my therapist who is certified to diagnosis to test me… I have ADHD, not autism. This really upset my mother and she won’t STOP, she’s always making comments “yeah.. uhuh, absolutely NOT autistic huh?” Under her breath… or with things like new allergies popping up for me… she WANTS me to have this health issues so she can say she’s right! “Oh what’s the matter? DO YOU HAVE A Banana allergy?” She wants to be right all the time… it’s weird.

I recognized years l ago, before her “diagnosis” I think she’s a narcissist, or at least has many traits of one… idk when I was being asked these questions for my autism and ADHD tests a lightbulb went off for me… “how many of these answers that I WANT to say yes to are actually trauma?” So I wonder with her… are these trauma answers???
I had an abusive childhood from my mother and father… more my father in terms of physical mental and emotional, but my mom isn’t a saint either…

And back to when I mentioned her behavior getting worse AFTER her diagnosis… she has always let things get to her deeply… it got worse after she was diagnosed tho… she started throwing tantrums in restaurants, yelling, and stomping off. The other day when I was explaining how the let them theory by Mel Robbins has helped me so much… she started slamming things and stomping around…

Anyone if spoken to in the community about this all day the same “it’s an explanation it’s not an excuse…”

Idk I generally feel it’s more her trauma from an abusive childhood and an abusive relationship with my father… they fought everyday since I was a child… neither knew when to shut up and stop before it got worse….

Please help. Does ANY of this actually sound like autism? Or is my mom just good at manipulating? She has ALWAYS and I mean always wanted something wrong with her… now she’s living on disability like she’s been trying to do my whole life… because of her autism apparently you can get disability for that easily… (epilepsy tho 🤷‍♀️ I guess I didn’t have enough seizures according to the state 😂 )
Any insight please!!! All I keep thinking is my mom is the type of person that makes it hard for autistic people to be taken seriously… you see it all the time online “everyone is autistic now…” with complaints on FB…
Oh and don’t even get me started on how she loves to rile people up, speaking very loudly on political matters that for sure will upset people in public…. Stuff like this is why I just keep thinking her diagnosis is wrong, and that’s why I’m looking for help.

Just knowing how she is,and talking with people in groups of raised by abusive parents and things like that… I’m thinking she’s just full of it… idk if her diagnosis was even real. She told me that her therapist said “that has traits of autism…” she never said she was diagnosed, knowing her… she took THAT as a diagnosis… idk

Thank you

Adult child of narcissistic parents here! 37F. I’ve cut my parents off many times. I’ve tried to get used to them… I finally have figured out how to let them roll off shoulders with their BS…

I’ve realized
Over
The last few years, it wasn’t really my dad… he was abusive, but it seems to be more my mom. Pretty sure she’s a narcissist. People have told me that on children of abusive parents l…. Thinking back to my abusive childhood… she played a massive part, and is very good at playin victim, and never taking responsibility for her part in all the bad stuff.

I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past year or so… and dude, I realized that “this is how I used to sound?!!” She’s nothing but negative, flips the narrative to be about her… if we don’t acknowledge what she says she says it multiple times and gets angry when we don’t laugh or say something about it….

She always has to be right. I tried to tell her about the let them theory, how some stuff isn’t that big of a deal… “we can’t control this mom, only how we react to it, that’s really helped me” is what I said…

She had a tantrum, started slamming things and stomping around… “uhuh… yeah, ok, it’s ok for everyone to fucking be wrong?!??”

To make matters worse someone online told her she’s autistic… it’s all she talks about now.. and omg everyone else is autistic too!!! Apparently I am because I collect things, like coins… who knew!!!! Anyone who collects anything for fun is autistic! 🤦‍♀️

Also her political BS… lord almighty dude… she’s always trying to get people to pay attention “isn’t that cultural appropriation?!?” When we were watching kpop demon hunters with my nieces… or at the DMV… “OMG!!!! Did you hear this shit RFK is saying?!?” Very loudly making people stare at us….

She’s pushing my patience. I try to spend time with her and she finds a way to be negative… we go out to dinner and someone says ONE THING she doesn’t like and she throw as a tantrum…. I’ll add this GOT WORSE after her “autism” diagnosis. From what I’ve read Narcs make everything about themselves.
I just had to rant. Will gladly take supportive advice e plz and thanks.

I can’t be the only one tired of Agreeable Grey.

I just have to say I stumbled upon this fucking page and it is fucking epic. This is why the internet was created people.

I’m like
Holy fuck this is just fucking great. I’m fucking crying from laughing so much.

A gift from the fucking gods 😂

I had a really messed up dream last night that has been bugging me ever since…
I had a dream that I was pulling handfuls of my hair out out of my mouth and throat…
I can still feel it that’s how vivid this dream was, it was also coming out of my ears.

There’s also a part of the dream where I had an irritation on my eyebrow and I was scratching it and noticed a piece of hair so I yanked on it and this huge tough of hair just pulled through my skin

I’m thinking of taking advantage of the 360 banking off. 2 direct deposits if $500 or more in 75 days, and they’ll give me $400….
I could use that $400 to make a massive payment on my card, and then just take that $500 I put in the 360 and put it into my main checking account with my bank.
Has anyone else done this?
I figure I’ll just close it after a bit… would that hurt my credit? I’m just think this could be a way to cheat the system.