u/Downtown-Lack-2686

I’m not sure if I can post here because I’m trans. But I might get hate and we can agree to disagree but I have got off the mtf sub for this reason. Like I feel like hrt shouldn’t be the fix for everything unless you have gender dysphoria and you really think this is the right choice, but I feel like some people go on it even though they don’t have gender dysphoria and they see it as a fix on their depression even though they’re not dysphoric. I been on hrt for almost 8 months now and I can say it definitely did not improve my mood 100% which could be because in diying but it’s also because we’re the main political topic now. And I feel like that’s why my depression is getting worse because all these political views and my parents and my friends not being accepting of trans makes it even more hard for me to continue living as a trans person. Being trans is hard and I would not wish gender dysphoria on anybody. And I just want to say this as a general statement, don’t go on hrt if you just want the effect and you don’t have gender dysphoria, because that’s where detransition comes to play. Go on hrt because you have gender dysphoria and you feel like that’s the option to help you mentally and physically. I’m just trying to live life but it’s hard.

So I brought 3 bundles for 100 dollars since it was on sale. It was classified as virgin human hair and it felt soft and like human hair. It hurled just fine and everything. But when I bleach it, it doesn’t lift, only some spots of the roots bleach and that’s it. The brand is called Aliba Janet collection, I might throw it out because I think I wasted my money on a human hair blend and I am upset because it was for my birthday.

The crippling pain of knowing you will never be a biological women and have kids with your future love hurts. I’m a 16 mtf and I been battling with gender dysphoria for more than a year, I got on hrt 6 months ago and at the beginning I was happy to start and thought it would be it would make people gender me as female and make people accept me more but nope it wasn’t how I thought it was. I got humiliated just for being myself and the media against transgender people doesn’t make it any better. Lately I have been getting suicidal thoughts because being trans in this era is terrible. I have a pretty feminine face but when I speak and look at my body I get really insecure, I just don’t know how one can get through this without ending their life because gender dysphoria is a bitch and transphobic people make it worse. I just wish I was born a biological female so I don’t have to deal with this pain anymore.

So there’s about 9 people in total including me in my friend group and lately some people have been distancing. We’re all 15 and 16. At the beginning it was just only 7 of us but 2 people didn’t call as often though but we call every single day until the only 2 people in the friend group always had arguments every single day. That led to people leaving the call and the groupchat and people just distancing.

Lets call these people J and G, so J have been battling with depression due to break ups and not being able to find love and G is the person he believe have been holding a grudge. I’m not going to get into every little detail but this was a Saturday night me G and my other friend M added J to the call to say how love doesn’t have to find you right now and it’s okay love can wait. Then G proceeded to say “I don’t even know who the fuck you are anymore” He left the call and I texted him the next day I asked him if he was okay then we sent reels on instagram then, Monday I texted him he left me on seen and yesterday I texted him I was left on delivered. I just don’t know what to do I’m hurt and he didn’t even say if he wanted to distant or anything I just missed when it was just me and him on call and he was happy, even though I was annoyed when he called me I still miss those moments and regret not calling all the time freshman year.

So the song goes like “everything so wonderful just how I thought it would be” but the rest I don’t remember. You usually hear them in get ready videos on TikTok or instagram. If anyone help me find it I would appreciate it. My voice is a bit raspy since I have a sore throat but this I much I can remember. https://voca.ro/1jR1xBq7twQl

I have a fucking project due tomorrow and I only know basic coding. We have to make a website with dataset of a pie chart and a bar chat from nyc open data. I been trying to making the chart work for the past 2 hours and it’s still not displaying, I even tried asking ai even though we’re not susposed to and it’s still not fucking working. I want to drop out right now I’m tired of fucking coding and this shit. I have fucking terrible memory so I can’t get shit complete in my technology class. I’m just done

Yeah it’s my big day and I should be happy and celebrate it, which I am but I don’t feel happy or excited. It really come to realize depression ruined my happiness on things I used to enjoy. How can I overcome this?