there’s a sub I really want to keep scrolling because there’s a lot of people I know and artists I like, but I don’t like the recent influx of gender-bending Spider-Man NSFW.
Fortunately, now that I’m older, it shouldn’t be too hard to hunt down the right one.
If you’ve ever heard of Little Shop Of Horrors, you’ve almost certainly heard of the debate over which ending is the better version. Me, personally, I think neither truly lives up to the show’s full potential. The theatrical cut is a poorly-paced, emotionally lacking horror-comedy with no edge to it, and a happy ending that feels rushed and unearned. While I greatly prefer the Director’s Cut (as a matter of fact, I even *enjoy* it), a combination of lopsided pacing and using the first hour of the theatrical cut as a base leads to the film feeling uneven and disjointed. However, I feel that, with a few tweaks that hew closer to the original stage show, both endings of the film could not only work well, but also be really emotionally resonant.
I’ll take you through the outline of the changes I’d make, while explaining my reasonings along the way.
- At the beginning, I would choose to use the narration from the album rather than the film, as I feel that it sets a more foreboding mood (which is thus better subverted by the opening notes of the film)
- I do not like Miles Goodman’s score for the dialogue scenes. Every cue sounds the same. The score should make better usage of the melodies of the stage show.
- Some Fun Now would be reworked. Using the full version of the song, the first half of the song would follow Seymour enjoying the success that the plants brings him (this is important for further showing why he stays with the plant, while also giving him negative qualities early on) while the second half shows him giving his blood to feed the plant, highlighting the dichotomy of the plant’s effect on Seymour.
- Cut majority of Bill Murray cameo, except for the part where Orin throws him out.
- Orin’s death should be slightly longer, not enough to make Seymour utterly irredeemable (or to make the scene feel dragged out) but enough to show a bit more of Orin’s suffering.
- Mushnik’s death scene should be entirely altered. His death scene in the film feels like it’s bending over backwards to give Seymour an “out” for killing Mushnik. It’s out of character, cheap, and it even feels a bit anti-Semitic (although I’m not exactly an authority on that). His death in the stage play is crucial for the original tragic ending to work, while also just being less of a character-assassination.
- The Meek Shall Inherit would be extended to its length on the film soundtrack, with its associated film sequence left intact. For the tragic ending, it symbolizes the crucial moment that Seymour signs the Faustian Pact and his fate is sealed. For the happy ending, it shows the extent to which Seymour feels guilty for his actions, and sets up an emotional moment later in the film.
From here we’ll discuss the changes to each ending in order.
The Earned Happy Ending.
- Before putting Audrey in its mouth, the plant says “why don’t you join your dentist friend, and Mushnik. They’re right inside!”
- After pulling Audrey out of the plant, Seymour comes clean to Audrey about feeding people to the plant. He tells Audrey that he did it because he was worried she would lose interest in him without the plant. Audrey tells Seymour that the plant never mattered to her, and the two reconcile. This way, in the theatrical cut, Seymour actually has to face accountability for his actions, and his primary conflict through the film is given a satisfying narrative and emotional payoff.
- After Patrick Martin says “bigger that Hula Hoops,” Seymour sees flashes of the plant attacking New York (from the ending of the Director’s Cut).
- Mean Green Mother now full demo-length.
- The plant’s death in the theatrical cut is a cheap Deus Ex Machina. In this altered version, Seymour would triumphantly charge into the mouth of the plant to kill it from the inside, like in the 1960 film and the musical. The plant swallows Seymour and spits out his glasses, before turning his attention to Audrey. Just as it’s about to grab her, it begins writhing in pain, before collapsing dead on the floor. Seymour climbs out of the plant and reunites with Audrey. Ending continues as normal. This way, the plant’s death seems plausible rather than abrupt.
The Deserved Tragic Ending
- Audrey’s death occurs as normal.
- After Patrick Martin says “bigger than Hula Hoops,” Seymour sees flashes of the plant attacking New York. Like in the theatrical cut, Seymour refuses Patrick Martin’s contract entirely.
- I know some have suggested that Mean Green Mother should not exist in the ending where Seymour dies, and that it should be replaced with Bigger Than Hula Hoops from the stage show. I disagree entirely, as Bigger Than Hula Hoops feels incredibly anti-climactic, while Mean Green Mother gives Seymour’s death the dramatic build-up it deserves. In fact, I am of the opinion that Mean Green Mother should have been included in subsequent productions of the stage show.
- Footage from the theatrical version of Mean Green Mother to show Seymour actively trying to fight against the plant.
- Seymour dies charging into the plant trying to kill it from the inside, like in the stage show.
- Don’t Feed The Plants could be a minute shorter, for the sake of pacing.
(This piece was really fun to do, I’ve done art inspired by Gerald Scarfe before but this was my first time toying around with his shading style)
When I began the Creating The Worst Possible Pink Floyd Setlist series, my intention was always to create an edit of what the Setlist would sound like. However, the series has evolved to degrees beyond that which I originally intended, involving new arrangements of songs, vocals which don’t exist, band members saying things they never have or would, and numerous visual elements. It’s fairly plain to see that my original plans for this project will no longer suffice.
So, allow me to introduce you to the Pink Floyd Failure Cabaret.
In effect, it’s mostly the same thing that it was before; a fictitious Pink Floyd Concert that goes horribly wrong, occurring around 2006. However, instead of just the audio of the songs, a script is being written to glue the different tracks together narratively, alongside visual storyboards depicting the action that occurs on the stage. Less of a “live album” emulation and closer to a parody stage show.
The script will be written by myself, and the storyboards will also be drawn in the style shown above by me (I know someone talked about commissioning Artist-In-Autumn to animate the setlist; while I love Emmy‘s work and follow her on Tumblr, I think that this would be too taxing for her and that her style may not be the best fit for the more cynical tone of the project. IF I were able to get her on this project, however, I would want her to do the art for Flower Child Roger [the resurrected Roger in the second set], because I feel that a major joke for the character is how different he is, both from regular Roger and from the mood of the rest of the project.)
In terms of recording new audio, this should not be too difficult for the most part. New instrumentation is required in only three songs; the kazoos in Shine On (kazoos are not a hard instrument to learn), the rudimentary drum and organ parts in Tigers Broke Free (it supposed to sound bad anyway) and the middle school band in Atom Heart Mother (I can probably just get whatever sheet-music-reading program the “X but performed by middle school band“ YouTubers use). New vocals are required for a few more songs; Nick Mason’s Great Gig In The Sky (which I intend to make with basic sentence-mixing à la YoiTunes Poop), 9/11 Mother, Roger screaming Learning To Fly, Roger dueting Coming Back To Life, The Final Cut after Roger loses his voice (I can simply do my Roger Waters impression for all of them)… Rick vocals for Walk With Me Sydney, Syd doing an air guitar rendition of Interstellar Overdrive, and the band performing a Roger-less, a capella version of The Trial.
So, I can do a fairly decent Waters impression, but there are still three songs which call for vocals other than Waters, as well as plenty of dialogue from the other four members of the band. So, if anyone here can do a vocal impression of David, Nick, Rick or Syd, please DM me. Full disclosure, this will NOT be paid (I have nine dollars to my name), but you will be credited in the final video when it’s done and I post it.
Set two has been completed! We will continue with the Encores later today.
But really, three is too much too. Surely Pink Floyd could do without Rick. Who needs a keyboardist, anyway?
Inspired by this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/radiohead/comments/xbbbtn/rradiohead_worst_possible_setlist_finished/
Rules or guidelines:
You know what? I’m in a very good mood, we get two today. This one has the specific theme of Syd fucking with wrong-Roger, possibly out of jealousy that he came back preferring David to Syd.
Inspired by this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/radiohead/comments/xbbbtn/rradiohead_worst_possible_setlist_finished/
Rules or guidelines:
I don’t think this can be an audio edit anymore, this can only work as a stage show
nspired by this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/radiohead/comments/xbbbtn/rradiohead_worst_possible_setlist_finished/
Rules or guidelines:
“And what would you prefer, yellow spandex white fur?”
Just saw the show today and this part gave me chills down my ducking spine
Just curious
Roger Waters, but furry (don’t be too mad, this is my first attempt at furry art)
Transcript:
Page 1
[Opening monologue]
No matter who you are as a person— rich, poor, young, old, living or dead— every being has a story.
Some of these stories are, unfortunately, stained with tragedy.
These stories, bitter as they are, still deserve to be told and remembered.
However, SOME people, often the ones responsible for these tragedies, would rather that these stories be forgotten, or covered up.
It’s always been my mission to make sure that, for the sake of those who were wronged, these tragedies and those sinners who instigated them…
[Last line is said in comic panel, introducing the Storyteller. We see him first from a left side view, pulling a book out of a bookshelf. He is the typical shady figure in a mystery story, complete with a trench coat and fedora.]
“…Will not be forgotten. Or forgiven.”
Panel 2:
[The Storyteller turns to the POV, carrying the book to his personal desk.]
“My name? That’s not important. What is more important is what I DO.”
Panel 3:
[The Storyteller drops the book on the desk]
“I am the STORYTELLER. And I wish to tell a story of great personal significance to me.”
Panel 4:
[The Storyteller opens the book, while bringing a desk lamp to light the pages]
“It’s a story that deserves to be told. Like the best stories, it lies at the center of a great web of conspiracy.”
Panel 5:
[Our first glimpse of William Afton, a crooked, poorly-aging man, as he oversees the preparations for Freddy’s’ upcoming renovation.]
“It is the story of a dormant evil who comes back to the sins he long kept buried…”
Panel 6:
[William turns to an employee unloading boxes]
William: That’s enough for today. We’ll unload the rest at the end of the week.
Page 2
Panel 7:
[William walks up to one of the animatronics on the stage. We see him between the backs of two animatronics.]
Panel 8:
[POV William; Close on Freddy and Bonnie’s faces, their eyes turned and staring directly at William]
William: Hello again, old friends.
Panel 9:
[We see Michael Afton lying down on a couch in a therapist’s office. A not-very-put-together fellow, his hair is uneven, his face unkempt and his clothes oddly sweaty.]
“The story of those who chose to forget the past, only to find that the past did not forget them…”
Michael: When I learned that my father had another child, who I had to take care of… I don’t know what to say.
Panel 10:
[A flashback to when Abby was entrusted into Michael’s care by her mother. The mother is only seen in shadow]
Michael: I like to think I’ve been the best parent that I can be for Abby… but we’re still so DISTANT.
Panel 11:
[A shot of Michael’s therapist, Mike’s silhouette in the foreground.]
Michael: I know I really shouldn’t, but… Sometimes I wish my FATHER was here.
Panel 12:
[A black void. Somewhere beyond the realm of the living.]
“Of those abandoned by the powers that be, preparing after many years to make their presence known...”
[Two voices in the darkness. One of them, speaking in jagged text boxes, an eerie, child-like but not quite young voice, like Salad Fingers, only more energetic. We will refer to this voice as “B”. The other, speaking in wispy text boxes, a similarly young, somewhat androgynous voice, somber, higher in pitch, but with a sort of gravel as if they’re choking and struggling to get the words out. We’ll call this voice “C”.]
B: Is everything ready?
C: Nearly, my love.
B: Excellent.
C: If I may say something…
B: What is it?
Panel 13:
C: I mean, killing ALL of them… Not only is that plan bare-bones, but… it’s a bit much, isn’t it?
B: Are you saying you DON'T want the buggers brought to Justice?
C: Of course I do, but…
Panel 14:
C: What if it doesn’t work? You haven’t exactly been moving through time with the rest of us. … You didn’t see what they did to HER.
B: It’s a good thing I’m not her.
Panel 15:
B: I don’t appreciate this attitude. Don’t you want us to succeed? Don’t you LOVE me?
C: Of course I love you!
B: Then do what’s best for us.
C: …Okay.
Panel 16:
B: You’ll see. It’s all for the best… I’ll make them PAY for what they did to us.
C: Do what you have to.
Panel 17:
[the interior of Freddy’s, late at night. An intruder in casual clothing and a mask crawls through a broken window.]
“And of those who were left over, who never forgot, and seek to make others remember…”
Panel 18:
[The intruder stands up, turning on a flashlight that they shine down the center hallway.]
Intruder: Alright… where are you?
The “Creating The Worst Possible Pink Floyd Setlist” series will be taking a short hiatus.
In the image above, you see the completed Set One that I posted in a now-deleted post a few hours ago. Can you see what’s wrong with this picture? It’s trying WAY too hard. Roger attempts to instigate TWO regime changes in this one set alone. It’s too much. There’s nowhere else to go. This isn’t any of your faults, it’s mine. I was blatantly influencing this list to go how I wanted it to go from the very start. Three of these weren’t even the winners of the post, they’re just the ones I liked the best (not-coincidentally, those three are also the most absurd). And for that, I apologize. It’s disrespectful and goes against the collaborative nature of this post. There will not be a variation of this post today as promised, because I simply feel ashamed and fatigued. I hope you understand
Not asking for new songs this post, just showing the complete results of the first set. I have a flight to New York in a bit, and when I land, we start set two.