u/Dry_Calendar

I grew up in a poor community. A lot of our parents struggled to pay rent, cloth is , and feed us . I also moved around the city a couple times but until recently we stayed in low income housing. One thing I started to notice was there was always a place smack dab middle in our neighborhoods we couldn’t access.

We have THREE different private schools (probably more due to the state wanting charter schools). Two out of three of those schools are smack dab in the middle of poor neighborhoods. It’s very rare for someone from the community surrounding the school to get into one of those private schools. You either have to get in on a football scholarship or know someone apart of the staff. Which fine have your schools.

Here’s something crazy they have a GOLFPARK in the middle of the neighborhood. I can promise you the majority of the people in the community are not playing golf. On top of that on the other side of the city in a poor neighborhood they built a high rise soccer club building. Again no one living in these communities are actually using/ have access to these things. I can think of a hundred other things that money and space could have been used for. We more groceries stories, more community centers, more parks, more FREE places for teenagers to be, heck they could have even restored the old shopping center so we wouldn’t have to drive an hour away !!

What makes the situation more frustrating is how the people who use these facilities treat us. I went to highschool right next to one of the private schools. We’d pass the kids riding in their parents Escalade and they’d lock the door. Which were not going to rob you were just a group of kids walking home !! They'd look at us like we were the dirt on their feet for just daring to exist near them.

I feel like a child when I’m tired. I get the urge to whine, cry, yell, and even do that little stomping thing kids do. It’s honestly very embarrassing. Before I realized this I would get into a lot of fights with family when they’d take me out when I was tired or if I felt they would take to long getting home. My parents noticed before me of-course and would just let me take a nap. I’ve gotten to the point where I feel like I can manage this. If I notice I’m randomly angry I’ll go lay down and even pat/rub my own back till I fall asleep. I don’t know why I’m like this. I haven’t told anyone outside my immediate family plus my boyfriend so I make excuses. to my friends around my nap times.

There are one hundred percent ladies in a friend group who cock block or try to randomly stop you from talking to your friend. Heres the thing I’m usually the ”fridge” protecting the “snacks.” I don’t care who my friends talk to or fuck. As long as it’s a consensual and they’re not going after a little kid I don’t care. My friends always call me when there uncomfortable. “This annoying girl came out of nowhere!“ No my friend spammed texted me because you made her uncomfortable/wont leave her alone. Oh I grabbing your attention before you had a chance to talk ? My shy friend asked me to at the beginning of the night to keep dudes away. I think the boy version of this is “taking one from the team.” While you’re cussing me out calling me a fat annoying bitch my friends have successfully slipped away. My whole job as a “fridge” to just distract you. Again there are girls who do to much and like to show in front of guys but there are also girls playing deflect.

They become emotionally unattractive. The supermodel who places top 3 every year suddenly didn’t suddenly become physically unattractive because of something they said. Hot people can do and say cruel, racists, and just down right evil things. We got to stop spreading the narrative that you have to be ugly to be mean. They’re not ugly their actions are.

Some days when I forget headphones I just talk outloud to myself. Wenesday night I was debating myself on gas prices so that’s something and my coworkers probably thought I was insane. I also often stare out while walkikg to my next aisle or waiting. Many times I have snapped out of my haze to realize I’m staring at a person when I’m imagining to ninja warriors fighting. I’ve to stop forgetting my headphones before someone reports me or something

About a year ago after not seeing my dad for three years I met my WAY younger new step siblings. I got the whole speech about how “ we’re all family and blood doesn’t mean anything.” Which this isn’t me hating on people who have a sibling relationship with their step siblings but a random kid I met 2 hours ago is not my little brother. You can’t just leave me alone with two kids who I'm expected to watch and then be surprised I don’t magically bond with them. No I won’t treat the kids like trash and yes I’ll take care of them the best I can but those aren’t my siblings. If I’m going to be honest I only saw them as chores with you. They spent that whole trip not listening to me, breaking stuff, and stressing me out. I’m not a relationship specialist by any means but thats not the way to introduce your kids to each other. Plus the dude goes through some many women and they all have kids the entire midwest might as well be my step sibling. I already have three younger brothers I don’t want anymore siblings sorry !

I was really into Gacha Life as a kid. The one video I would come back to always is “For the love of a daughter.” The plot was a simple. The dad would marry a new wife and favor her and his step kid over the mc. The daughter would beg her dad to come back before finally gaining magical alpha powers and living him. I sorta related to this plot. My dad was in and out of my life and always dated women with kids. I’d see him on Facebook or live posted with his step Kids in some foreign country after saying he couldn’t make it to my birthday. Those videos brought me a sense of comfort. I’d imagine myself in the place of the MC and dreamed of a day I’d be in that position.

Every creator I end up liking says either the n-word or some other racists shit. It’s not like they're saying this 20 years ago ! Heck they’ll say it thursday, be forgiven Friday, and slip up and say it again. On top of that it becomes a joke. I was watching a turkey Tom video (don’t watch him anymore) and he laughed refering to it as the “magic gamer word.” I don’t know why it’s so hard to keep it out of your mouth if you’re not black ?? If it’s just a word than it should be easy to not say it. They act as if it’s some coming age ceremony that all non Black creators must finish. It’s so annoying because it’s almost every single mainstream creator. I know people say sepearate the art from the artistst. I try but every time I realize they’ve said the n-word it’s all I can think about it and I just have to drop their content. I’ve found a lot of black creators that I love but I also loved the other creators content as well. It feels like I have to do a deep dive on every non Black creators past before I get to attached.

I’m just a quiet person. I don’t hate you or think I'm better than you. I’ll make small talk, listen, and a lot of questions I ask genuine. I just don’t see the need to talk ALL the time. What I mean by this is if we talk for 45 minutes straight sometimes I just want to be quiet for 15 minutes. Or if I don’t know you that well I’m sorry I’m not going to want to tell you my life story or immediately start talking like we’ve known each other for years. I don’t let silence stretch on because I’m trying to punish you or hate you. I’m perfectly content sitting In it and I usually just assume the conversation is over. Also if I’m in a public place theres no need to tell me I’m alone. Seriously you and your friend group don’t need to gape at me, ask me if I’m alone, start a conversation about me being alone infront of me, and than leave. We’re not in highschool anymore please man. I don’t mind when people come up to me when I’m by myself. I’ve actually made a few friends that way ! It’s just when people treat me like a zoo animal to pick at. I can invite my friends to places but it takes a lot of planning and sometimes I just like to do things by myself. I’m just a quiet simple minded person who doesn’t really say much unless I know you. Its gotten to the point where I got out in the early mornings to do things. The people make good conversations and don’t mind me being quiet.

We have to do a mix of a lot things to actually empty out our shelters.

I’m serious I see so many post where it’s like they’re demon dogs or my chihuahua bit me. But they don’t show them fucking with dog for the past 50 minutes. These are small dogs you can’t play with them like you would a lab or a golden. That’s why your grandma who is gentle and soft handed can pet and play with the chihuahua freely while you get bit.