u/EB_0711

exactly what the post says. my bio dad isnt a great person and he is really emotionally abusive. i cut him off in february after he started escalating with his words and told me he sexualizes me because of what i wear. he also has blamed me for his relationship problems, uses me as an emotional partner, blamed me for some SA that his fiance's son did to me, etc. ive been looking for a dad in every older male in my life and i was told by someone that this is a good thread to find a virtual dad on.

thank you

(17f) this is gonna be long and somewhat ranty, but i cut off my dad back in february 2026. it had been a really long few years and honestly it felt like a long time coming, but i keep hoping that he might change one day. am i in the wrong for giving up on him?

so when i was 5, my dad got back together with his high school sweetheart. he was amazing before then, but when she came in the picture i swear everything went downhill. his high school sweetheart (now fiance)'s son sexually abused me for years. when i finally told when i was 8, his fiance called me a liar. my dad followed suit, calling me an attention seeker. he let his fiance say nasty things to me, treat me like shit, he would yell at me, etc. when her son finally admitted to what he did, his punishment was reading the bible. he ended up starting the abuse again and after i told the second time, i wasn't allowed to see him anymore. thats when shit really got hard. i ended up in the mental hospital for suicidal ideation when i was 13, my dad made false promises and said he would change. he never did. he got worse, actually. he talks to me about his problems with his fiance, money issues, taboo topics (sexual innuendos, etc), yelling at me or blaming me for his problems with his fiance, etc. he even told me he sexualizes me for the clothes i wear, said i wear shorts and belly shirts to spite him and his fiance, etc. he told me "one day i'll understand him", that he wants us to have the relationship we once did, he offers to chaperone school field trips with me, etc when all i have been begging him for is to just be my dad emotionally. to which, he asks me how to do that, as if i havent told him over and over again for years. i feel responsible for how he feels, i just want to have a dad who cares about me for once. ive found myself looking to male teachers, older guys in general, just desperate for approval. i want to be loved so bad and i feel like nothing i will ever do will be enough.

he has done much more than this, this was just a jumbled up fly-over version of events. i can go more in depth if need be. my main question is: do you think he will change? am i a bad daughter for cutting him off? should i try one last time to be enough for him? is this normal behavior from a dad? thank you for reading this and i hope you're all having a good day

hey y'all!! my boyfriend and i are pretty serious so i have been dreaming up some engagement ring ideas for his reference. i know my absolute dream ring and couldn't find exactly what i was looking for, so i used AI to generate some examples. however, there are some tweaks i may wanna make. i also can't decide on what color for my center stone! i will note the context for why i chose what i chose, but i am also looking for advice about what color center stone i should do and just any other tweaks or ideas! i am an open book!

my current idea is to have a split shank ring, with diamonds and peridot (because i LOVE the color of peridot and nature) going down about 1/3 of the ring. i want a pear shaped center stone of either zircon, tanzanite, or turquoise as those are my boyfriend's birth stones. lastly, to tie into the nature theme i want some smaller marquise peridot gems around the center stone to mimic leaves. my only issue is, i can't decide if i like the blue or not. i LOVE how morganite (pink) and ruby (red, and i chose this bc its my birth stone) looks with this combo, as shown in the following examples i have generated. i can't decide though! i also am unsure if i want the diamonds on both sides of the band or if i want an asymmetrical split shank. any ideas or input is greatly appreciated because i am STRUGGLING to decide!!!

*P.S. yes, i did consult my boyfriend about this and he gave me several ideas but we both are struggling to figure out what we like best! for context, we both may end up doing sun & moon themed rings because we both are like the sun and moon style-wise. (i.e. i am super nature oriented, bubbly, and love bright colors while he likes night, cities, and is a little more reserved. despite this, we go together really well!!)

citrine (very sun-like, kind of on theme for me lol)

tanzanite (his birth stone)

morganite

ruby (my birth stone)

**NOTE: i am looking for input on the overall ring design or color choice, please don't DM me about 3D printing the ring! i appreciate the offers but i am not in the position to be able to pay for that! thank you so much!

hey everyone! so i (16f) have always been super in tune with things that most people aren't. to this day i can get sick to my stomach if something is upsetting, i feel what everyone around me feels, i see things out of the corner of my eye, i have heard giggling and footsteps in my old house, etc.

recently over the past couple days i have been feeling more in my current house. my stepdad lives with me and is a chosen non believer (because he is afraid of ghosts and doesn't want them to be real lol) and he had a spirit or apparition follow him down into my basement and we all heard loud knocking. about a half hour ago, my power went out and came back on twice, involving some flickering lights. i feel a heaviness around my house more than before and my dog has been freaking out too. he keeps staring into my mirror and out into the hallway then cowering over to the corner of my room, terrified. does anyone have any advice for what i should do?

CONTEXT: i have at least two known spirits in this house, one of which is a young soldier that i have seen. he is missing an arm and half of a leg and is very bloody. i don't think he is inherently evil but i do think he is rather reserved and enjoys to observe. the other is a little girl named charlotte who has been following me since i was about 5, she attached to me around the time i moved out of my first house which is when i would see and hear her giggling and running down the hallway. charlotte is a sweetie but is definitely a more timid and nervous spirit. i have dreamed of her as my daughter with my boyfriend and i have seen her around my room. i also just did a cord cutting spell a few days ago, as i was severing ties with my biological father. could any of this be linked to whats happening in my house??

hey everyone!! i have owned crabs for over ten years now and i thought i knew nearly everything about mold and how to prevent it, but man the past couple days proved me incorrect.

i noticed the past couple days that i have been having a putrid smell coming from my tank, it smells like something dead. i did a thorough check today and found a white, stringy mold that looks like spider webs on some of my fake plants and sand. it was foul and made my skin crawl. i have two hermit crabs in a 2ftx2ft 60 gallon tank and feed them hermit crab meal with fresh fruit and veggies and supplements. both crabs are super active and alive, and my sand is not oversaturated. i have no idea what this mold is so i came here to see if any of you have experience with this situation. what is it? what do i do?

i removed the mold and the surrounding sand from the tank, the decor, obviously did my daily refresh for the food, etc.

https://preview.redd.it/opkqpblemj8h1.png?width=847&format=png&auto=webp&s=abe9e0e7f47648d7aa79a21c51f5d92ebf4c3d47

did y'all see this in the campsite? who is that? :sob:

i have had hermit crabs for YEARS and i have always struggled with one thing: humidity. HUMIDITY HAS BEEN THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!! after my heater broke and i was waiting on a new heating pad, the humidity was amazing but they were too cold. now that i have the heater back, my humidity is so irregular! i have bubblers in their pools, i have eco earth and sand in the correct 5:1 ratio (which i mixed wet, but it dries out), i have a glass lid, i have a fogger, etc. the tank's humidity will drop to the 60s, ill do a fog which brings it to 99, and then i'll get crazy mold, the humidity will drop, and the cycle continues. what can i do to fix the humidity better? any tips?

thank you!

*DISCLAIMER: i am NOT in ANY way trying to downplay ren's POV. i understand how serious and heartbreaking SA is, i am simply sharing my point of view on it.*

zeal seems like a bit of an ass, just in general. he seems to not like commitment but like honestly, it's his life so whatever. as long as he's not hurting anyone or himself, who gives a shit. and i def don't agree with how he reacted when ren was feeling down in the messages she posted in the docs. overall, aside from being a dude who doesn't really seem to have a great attitude, i don't see zeal as being capable of that. IMO he seems like a very blase, "whatever" type of guy who doesn't take things really seriously (although that could easily lead to this situation)

as for ren, usually i am one to believe the alleged victim but ren doesn't seem 100% truthful IMO. is everyone different in their reactions to trauma? yes. but ren seems to be acting unusal compared to the gravity of the situation. her story doesn't make full sense IMO, she seems to be slighty emotionally manipulative. and whatever that was that she considered "fawning" did not seem like fawning. this is coming from a survivor of a similar situation who would almost always end up fawning in said situations. fawning would be acting agreeable, getting to know the other person/keeping the focus on the other person, and overall not trying to draw attention to what happened (at least not usually.)

i don't know what led to all of this, hell i could be wrong and zeal did do that to ren in which case i am so SO sorry to ren that this happened. but like something isn't adding up and i think ren is at the very least inflating the story to be more dramatic than it really was. to me, if anything, it seems like something happened between them but ren had some sort of trauma response or is not reacting to it well for whatever reason and is acting out and trying to justify her feelings. trying to justify your feelings is a human thing to do, but this is not the way to go about it. idk if any of y'all agree, just my POV.

when i was like 5, i lived in a very old house. we're talking like late 1800s-early 1900s it was built. anyway, i remember waking up early one morning and seeing a purple, somewhat glowy fairy looking creature zapping an outlet with a small wand looking thing. i watched it for like 5-10 minutes, rubbing my eyes to see if it would go away and it didnt. my mom eventually was in the doorway and the fairy flew downward hella fast as my mom turned on the light. it wasnt a dream, i didnt open my eyes. i immediately told my mom what happened and she listened but definitely had the whole "ah, such imagination in children" attitude looking back. has anyone else experienced this?? i remember it SO vividly, i could easily draw it.

hey! i am looking for a 40 gallon breeder style tank, preferably longer (~24 inches) rather than taller and comes with a lid. my bf needs to upgrade his millipede's enclosure and a 40 gallon breeder tank is recommended, and given i have fish and am therefore on this page i figured i'd see if anyone has one. i am on a limited budget but i am willing to pay for it of course.