u/Educational-Car73

She cheated on me with my best friend of 10 years. Found out at a party. That was it, both of them gone at once.

I'm 18 so I don't have much life experience and I'm definitely not going to act like I handled it well. Because I didn't. The first few weeks I completely shut down. Stopped going out, stopped seeing people, stayed in my room mostly. Just me and my thoughts on repeat. Every conversation we'd ever had, every time he'd looked me in the eyes after it happened. I kept replaying everything.

Looking back that was probably the worst thing I could have done. Being alone with that stuff in your head doesn't help you process it, it just makes it louder. If you're going through something similar please don't do what I did and cut yourself off from everything. It made it so much harder.

What eventually pulled me out was just forcing myself to move. Gym every day even when I really didn't want to. Focused on my studies. Slowly started being present again. Took an internship abroad alone a few months later which I never would have considered before all this.

I don't have a big lesson to offer, I'm too young to pretend I do. Just that keeping moving matters more than waiting to feel ready. And don't isolate yourself. Seriously. It feels like the right thing when you're in it but it's not.

Anyone been through losing two close people at once? How did you get through the early part?

Serious question because every time I look into getting a coach the prices are insane. We're talking 60, 80, sometimes 100 euros per session. For someone who's a student that's completely out of reach.

But then I hear people say a good coach early on is the best investment you can make because you avoid years of bad habits and wasted effort.

So does the affordable version actually exist or is it just something people say? Online coaches, gym staff, anyone who actually knows what they're doing but won't cost a fortune?

The stuff nobody puts in tutorials. The mistakes, the things that wasted months, the decisions you'd make differently. What actually would have saved you time?

My girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend of 10 years. I won't go into it too much but losing both of them at the same time does something specific to you. There's nobody to call. The person you'd normally lean on is the reason you're hurting.

For weeks I kept going over everything. Replaying conversations, looking for signs I missed, trying to make sense of it. I thought if I could just understand it fully I'd feel better. I never did.

At some point I just stopped. Not because I had closure, I never got that. Just because I realized waiting for it was costing me months of my life and nobody was coming to give it to me.

Put that energy somewhere else. Gym every single day. Worked harder on everything that actually mattered. Cut out the noise completely. Then took an internship abroad alone, packed up and moved to a new country where nobody knew me or my story.

It's not a clean ending. Some days it still hits. But I feel more like myself than I have in a long time and I built that myself which means something.

If you're in it right now just know the moving forward part doesn't require the closure part. You can just decide to go.

Found out my girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend of 10 years. I'm not going to get into the details but losing both of them at once is a specific kind of pain that's hard to describe. You lose the relationship and the person you'd normally call to talk about it.

When it happened I genuinely thought it was the worst thing that could happen to me. I spent weeks trying to understand it, looking for answers that were never going to come, going over everything trying to find what I missed.

Then I stopped. Not because I healed or moved on in some clean way. Just because I realized I was the only one still suffering and I was doing it to myself at that point.

The months after forced me to actually look at myself honestly. What I was tolerating, what I was ignoring, where I wasn't being honest with myself. I'd been so focused outward I hadn't noticed any of it.

Threw myself into work, hit the gym every day, moved abroad alone for an internship. Built a life that was actually mine for the first time.

A year later I'm genuinely grateful it happened. Not because it didn't hurt but because I'd probably still be sleepwalking through everything without it.

What's the hardest situation that ended up pushing you somewhere better?

A while back I got hit with one of those situations where multiple things collapse at the same time. People I trusted completely weren't who I thought they were. The kind of thing that makes you question your own judgment more than anything else.

The first few weeks were rough. Not even sad, just numb. I kept replaying everything trying to find where I missed it.

Then at some point something shifted. I got genuinely tired of sitting with it. So I just stopped. Not because I had answers or closure or any of that stuff people talk about. I just decided that whatever energy I was spending trying to process it was energy I could put somewhere else.

So I did. Gym every single day. Buried myself in my studies. Cut out everything that wasn't moving me forward. And then I did something I probably never would have done otherwise — I packed a bag and moved abroad alone. New country, new language, knew nobody.

And here's the thing nobody tells you about starting completely fresh somewhere unfamiliar. You don't have time to be stuck in your head. You're too busy figuring out basic life. Where to eat, how to get around, how to connect with people when you don't speak the language. It forces you out of yourself in a way that nothing else really does.

Four months later I'm sitting here genuinely grateful for all of it. Not in a fake positivity way. In a this situation exposed exactly what I needed to change and I wouldn't have changed it otherwise way.

The people I lost showed me who was actually there. The pain pushed me somewhere I needed to go. The reset gave me a version of myself I actually respect.

I don't think I'd be where I am right now without going through all of it. That's a weird thing to sit with but it's true.

Has something breaking apart ever ended up being the thing that actually built you?

Made this account a year ago, had no idea how Reddit worked, found it confusing and just left.

Came back a few weeks ago and now I'm on here every day. Whatever you're into there's a subreddit for it with people who actually know what they're talking about.

For people who've been here longer than me — how do you actually navigate Reddit properly, like how did you figure out the whole karma thing and finding the right communities?

We've been together for a while. He's been my best friend for 10 years, closer than a brother honestly. The kind of guy you'd call at 3am no questions asked.

It happened at a party. Found out after. Both of them.

The relationship I can process. Relationships end, people make mistakes, whatever. But 10 years of friendship gone in one night. That's the part that actually breaks me. You don't replace that. You don't just find another person who knows everything about you and has been there through everything.

I keep replaying every conversation, every time I talked to him about her, every time he looked me in the eyes after it happened.

How do you even start to process losing two people at once.

Salut, j'ai commencé la salle à 16 ans, au feeling, sans coach, sans programme sérieux. Aujourd'hui j'ai 18 ans, je suis en stage en Thaïlande et je continue 6j/7. Ce qui a vraiment changé les choses pour moi c'est pas le programme ou les macros, c'est juste d'arrêter de changer de routine toutes les 3 semaines. Y'a un truc qui clique quand tu restes longtemps sur les mêmes mouvements. Les charges bougent, le physique suit.

C'est quoi la chose que vous auriez voulu savoir en débutant ?

I thought training 6 days a week was hard back home. Then I moved to Thailand for an internship.

Same program. Same dedication. Except now I'm sweating through my shirt before I even touch a weight. 30°C every single day. Dehydration hits different here — I dropped water weight in my first week and thought I was losing gains.

Now I bring 2L minimum, train early morning, and eat rice with everything because it's cheap, local and it works.

18 years old, 2.5 years in, still figuring it out. Not missing a session though.

Anyone else trained in heat like this? How did you adapt?