What Do I Do?
Who am I? that is a question I've been asking myself for the last 9 months.
I constantly feel at war with myself with my gender identity. I know that it may change over time, and I'm okay with that. All I know is that I am not cis. I'm afab, but I haven't realised until last August that I'm trans or genderfluid. I've adopted both labels I guess, and I hate labels but I also feel lost without them. My family unfortunately aren't supportive, I think. They say they're accepting no matter what, but they dismiss my trans-ness when/if someone brings it up. I've been told maybe they need time and that they might need time to process. what in the world do i do?? I have queer friends which is great but I don't know know them well enough to speak about it. Oh my god and the gender envy I get is SOOOO annoying. Like, every guy I've had a crush on I usually also have gender envy. Some crushes have only been gender envy {I didn't know at the time though, until a guy I 'liked' cut his hair off and I was sad because I liked (*cough* wanted *cough*) his hair. I've been speaking to a counsellor which has been a lot of help. My fem and androgynus side wants to be presented sometimes, but I get so dysphoric, I end up wearing baggy T shirts instead. I also don't know how to tell my friends my preferred pronouns. Advice? (no hate in the replies please)