u/EnergyConstant7802

Why is that society HAD to really make sure >!Francesca is pregnant to ensure her title and place in society!<, but when it came to Sophie's dowry/ Lord Penwood's will, they>!didn't really check the details (including dowry) and just took Armanita's word for it?!<

Edit: This is NOT about Lady Penwood's title. It is about society being strict on one rule and extremely loose on another

In my gap year, losing hope, and unemployed. I try to have empathy for myself, to just keep going and not lose hope. My parents and family don't understand why gap years are necessary and think I'm ridiculous. My non-premed friends back home make snide remarks for being "unemployed." It just makes me sad..

Ordered 2 paddles from Royal Pickleball, but had issues with the paddle. Customer service doesn't respond and has left a bad taste in my mouth. And I can't delete my account data, like my credit card info or my email.

They don't seem to care about consumers, only to sell as many paddles as they can, market, and keep consuemr data.

I constantly worry if my boyfriend is cheating on me when there are periods of silence from him. (26F and 28M)

He actually does text me +5 times a day, like his morning coffee, what worries him at work, or a photo of his cat when he gets home. But when it's been more than a few hours, I default to the idea that he is spending his time with someone else.

In my last relationship, my ex had cheated on me. We dated for 5 years (20F/M → 25F/M), ate dinner with his parents every weekend, discussed marriage over dinner in our final year, went to couple's therapy, and planned how grad school will work out. Somewhere in between, he met a girl on family trip in Japan and took her to Thailand.

When I found out, he deleted their instagram messages when I asked to see them, in front my eyes. I opened a 3rd party app to hear her voice memo "good morning~." I asked him to delete her photos in his "recently deleted" section. A month later, I saw that them in the "hidden" section. Not only that, I found out about another girl. This whole journey was 6 months of trusting him, only to unveil something else a few weeks later down the line.

When I had a meltdown at his family function, he criticized me for suddenly leaving and making me look bad in front of his college friends and his aunts/ uncles said for him to tell me I was a bad to-be daughter-in-law for not acknowledging them before I left. [This is a conservative Asian thing, where you MUST announce your presence/ leaving]. His parents accepted my apology, but said don't do it again. We visited a couple's therapist who said I was wasting her time, bc I was so young and should figure it out on my own instead. She also said I was repeating the same thing when I should simply accept that he had cheated, and then believe him from now on if I want things to work; there's nothing more to it.

Through it all, I felt silenced. No one acknowledged me. Everyone said to simply forgive him for his mistake. Him, his parents, his family, "our" friends, that couple's therapist. I felt so gaslighted. For a year, I was diagnosed with "severe anxiety," "moderate depression," and lost 40lbs, because I didn't know who to trust and couldn't tell what was reality anymore. The idea that everyone I loved, near and dear, from him to a therapist I had instilled so much trust in, could abuse my trust.

We stopped talking. I'm anxiety and depression-free. But in the back of my head, this voice tells me "he's cheating," when I talk to this new man. I feel guilty, I feel afraid. Please, does anyone have guidance or advice for me on how to develop a healthier mentality moving forward? If you have something mean to say, I don't have the ability to hear it. TYIA.

I have a severe dust mite allergy. I had difficulty breathing + bites all over my body all of a sudden.

From here, I've vacuumed using a HEPA-system vacuum x2. And steam-cleaned x2.

But the more I think about it, will all this actually work? My mattress is 20 years old.

https://preview.redd.it/r01lpu1bohah1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5cc1f239a32d575e69be157b6d3613aa89396f05

https://preview.redd.it/v1l6lu1bohah1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ca66d6973802fe7209006d98389d71433580d72

I'm not sure if I'm being an overly anxious dog parent, but my puppy likes to nap on the concrete next to the outdoor AC unit. I feel like it's so hot and yet she chooses that spot. Does she prefer that spot because it feels more private?

My owala gray, rubber mouth-piece has stubborn black mold.

I'm an athlete, so I often put ice cubes and electrolytes. I wash and rinse it at least once a week.

One time, I forgot for a month and I looked inside to see pink/orange on the plastic part you suck, white in the inner stainless-steel lining of the bottle, and black spots on the gray rubber piece. I was so offended, I soaked and rinse it in boiling hot water like 4 times.

Since then, I use soap and wash regularly 2x a week. But no matter what I do, rubbing it, soaking in vinegar, or using boiling water, the black mold will not budge!!!! won't leave!!! why!!!!!!

My akita has so much energy and the nipping/ biting doesn't stop. I'm doing research, but do you guys have any tips?

Also he poops so much. It's gooey and smelly and I dislike holding onto it during our walks, thinking about getting a scooper and a thicker bag.

I apologize in advance if this is the wrong sub-reddit, I have no idea where to ask for help.

I'm seeing a guy (28) who has been "high for a decade." He likes to get high at least twice a day, through wax, smoking , or elfthc (idk, I've seen so many).

His house is extremely messy. There is no trash can, at all. He doesn't cook, only eat out, and his house is full of rotten everything. I can't find the floor in his bedroom. His dirty laundry trails from the laundry machine to the front door to the bathroom to the bed. I can smell his house from standing outside the front door.

I also worry about his cats, because their litter box is scattered all over the floor and they eat literally whatever he feels like feeding them (sometimes noodles, sometimes cat food). Apart from his home, his personal life isn't doing great; He's a lawyer, but has debt. He stopped pursing his hobbies.

Every time I come over to his house, I get so heartbroken. I can't find it inside me to ask him if he's okay. I heard that people who smoke weed find it easy to be complacent with everything. But why does he smoke so much? Even when I'm there with him, isn't he happy enough with me? He's mentioned that he is on part of the autism spectrum. I can't figure out if his messy home is a reflection of depression, being constantly high, or being high-functioning autistic. I have no right to interfere or mother him, but it breaks my heart to see his home like this. What can I do, if nothing?

Edit:

We are not dating. We met on Hinge and talked for 2 months. Now that I've seen the state of his home and know his personal life better, I feel conflicted, confused, and sad.

2nd, I wanted to digest my thoughts on Reddit and Chatgpt before I talk to him. No need to remind me.

Edit 2:

Thank you to everyone clarifying that it's not weed. 90% of you are saying depression and/or personality. I think Autism is playing a large part still.

There is a man I met, who I think is absolutely wonderful... when sober.

Visually, he's tall, built, and handsome.

I enjoy his personality and talking to him. He's a lawyer and naturally inquisitive. He loves reading the news, sharing interesting facts with me, and pondering both serious topics and the ridiculous. I love that there is a man who can match my curiosity, intellect, but also laugh over dumb things like farts.

Most of all, when we spend time together, he's very considerate and likes to reassure me (like kissing my forehead to apologize, a small hug in front of other women so they know he's taken, apologizing and clearing things up as soon as he can). Our love languages match perfectly, which is really, really rare for me.

But he has a horrible addiction to weed. He's been "high for a decade." He likes to get smoke on our dates sometimes. Then they become slow and awkward, bc he's spacing out, I don't know what he's talking about, or he's giggling over something I have no idea what.

His apartment is crazy messy. He can't balance money. His cats are not neutered, don't have a clean space, and aren't fed appropriately (he always feeds them a bit of whatever we had, be it brownies, noodles, or sushi, bc it will "just give them diarrhea," and they should "live a little," bc "we're all going to die one day, anyway."

Apart from the messy life, he can't perform (which, tbr honest, I have no idea if it is related). Sometimes, he gets lazy or falls asleep. Sometimes, he gets nervous and tries to overcompensate. Last time I saw him, he ran to take some libido pill.

It honestly just breaks my heart. I know better to change a man, but I do care about him so much.