u/Exciting-Count-6222

BTW, this is coming from a woman’s perspective. I was part of the group I just joined it out of curiosity. The more I read the posts and the comments from women about specific guys, the clearer it became that it wasn’t really about helping people dodge someone toxic, manipulative, or abusive. It was more like, “Oh yeah, I went out with this guy and he’s an avoidant,” or “He did this to me.” A lot of what they say just comes off as that man simply wasn’t interested in you.

People forget that every person you date brings out a different version of you. Every man I’ve gone on a date with or actually dated brought out different parts of me I wasn’t the same person with each of them. So when some women (not all, just some) talk like this, it feels like they’re trying to deter you from dating that person. And some of these women are exes people who maybe went on a date with the guy six months or a few months ago. Why are you still so consumed by what this man is doing? That feels like such an unhealthy space to be in.

Then there’s the whole thing of asking for the guy’s phone number or saying, “Who are you seeing this weekend? Drop his initial.” That is so unhealthy. It keeps you in a constant state of anxiety and panic you’re stressing every week that the person might be cheating every time you see an initial that matches his. It’s exhausting and unnecessary. Honestly, the whole thing feels more like a social experiment than anything helpful.

One more behavior I’ve noticed with the guy I’m seeing: after we hang out, the next day I won’t hear from him. nothing. Zero. Some days he might text once, but then he disappears. And then he comes back again. I just never understood it. Even if we had a good time like after a phone call or whatever and we share this emotional moment, the next day I don’t hear from him. I just don’t understand what that is. It’s like he comes in fully and then pulls completely back.

I ended my relationship with my previous bf because my parents didn't approve of him. Plus, I was not happy with the relationship. However, I ended up meeting someone outside of my race and fell in love. I considering telling my family to fuck off if they don't accept it. Bot relationships are outside of my race.

Have anyone experienced this before? How did that go? What’s your experience with that?

I was curious, so I looked at his Instagram following. About 80% of the accounts he follows are women, and none of them look like me. He follows mostly Asian, white, and some Latina women.

I have brown skin and curly hair, but I didn’t see anyone who resembles me not even one woman with olive skin. It makes me feel like I’m not really his type, and that I’m just available and convenient.

Am I overreaching by assuming I’m not his type? When I asked him, he said he doesn’t have one, but his following tells a different story.

I don’t know… am I overthinking this?

I was curious, so I looked at his Instagram following. About 80% of the accounts he follows are women, and none of them look like me. He follows mostly Asian, white, and some Latina women.

I have brown skin and curly hair, but I didn’t see anyone who resembles me not even one woman with olive skin. It makes me feel like I’m not really his type, and that I’m just available and convenient.

Am I overreaching by assuming I’m not his type? When I asked him, he said he doesn’t have one, but his following tells a different story.

I don’t know… am I overthinking this?

I need some unbiased advice on this situation.
I’ve noticed he’s extremely active on Snapchat. With me, he only uses either Snapchat or text never both. We haven’t Snapchatted in about a month, yet his score keeps climbing. It’s clear he’s talking to multiple people. My intuition strongly tells me he’s messaging other women, but I’m second-guessing myself and wondering if I’m just assuming things.

If he’s talking to others, that’s his choice but I don’t want to be one of many. He texts me briefly, then disappears and reappears. I thought he just needed space, which I respect, but his rising Snapchat score shows he has the time and energy to talk to others just not me. This has me overthinking, which I hate. It feels unhealthy.

With my ex, there was natural trust. Here, he constantly asks who I’m talking to and if I’m sexting other guys, which feels like projection. I barely have time to reply to family and friends.. I’m definitely not out here sexting multiple people.

Should I just let it be and give him space, or is it time to walk away? I’d really appreciate a neutral third-party perspective.

I need some unbiased advice on this situation.
I’ve noticed he’s extremely active on Snapchat. With me, he only uses either Snapchat or text never both. We haven’t Snapchatted in about a month, yet his score keeps climbing. It’s clear he’s talking to multiple people. My intuition strongly tells me he’s messaging other women, but I’m second-guessing myself and wondering if I’m just assuming things.

If he’s talking to others, that’s his choice but I don’t want to be one of many. He texts me briefly, then disappears and reappears. I thought he just needed space, which I respect, but his rising Snapchat score shows he has the time and energy to talk to others just not me. This has me overthinking, which I hate. It feels unhealthy.

With my ex, there was natural trust. Here, he constantly asks who I’m talking to and if I’m sexting other guys, which feels like projection. I barely have time to reply to family and friends.. I’m definitely not out here sexting multiple people.

Should I just let it be and give him space, or is it time to walk away? I’d really appreciate a neutral third-party perspective.

We had been spending more time together recently, and I finally told him I was interested in dating him. He didn't reject me, and he still responds, still wants to hang out, and recently even assumed we'd be seeing each other on a day we hadn't explicitly planned. But at the same time, his communication has felt more inconsistent since I told him how I felt.

He works a lot, so part of me thinks he's genuinely overwhelmed. Another part of me wonders if expressing my feelings changed the dynamic and made him pull back a little. For people who've been in a similar situation, did it turn out to be stress/life circumstances, or was it a sign they weren't as interested as you hoped?

I am asking on this subreddit because you guys have more experience in relationship... I am confused with his behavior.

I’m feeling really confused and unsure how to handle this situation. I’m seeing a guy who gets extremely turned on by reading my old sexting conversations with other men. The problem is that after he reads them, he becomes very insecure. He’ll get so aroused that he masturbates to them, but once he’s finished, the insecurity hits him hard.

What makes it even more confusing is that I never offered to show him these messages he repeatedly asked to see them. I eventually sent him a couple of screenshots, and he was incredibly turned on. But afterward, his mood completely shifts to insecurity.
I’ve never experienced this before. Every other man I’ve dated or seen in the past would get annoyed or uncomfortable if I even mentioned an ex. They never wanted to hear anything about my sexual history. This is the first guy who’s actually aroused by the idea of other men wanting me.

I’m not sure how to manage his insecurity when it comes up. I don’t know what to say or how to respond in those moments to help him feel more secure. Any advice would be really appreciated.

We hung out and had a great time. We both really enjoyed ourselves. He even said he didn’t want the night to end and kept suggesting things so we could hang out longer. Before we parted ways, he told me multiple times to text him when I got home, which I did. He replied right away, joking about what took me so long, and mentioned that next time we shouldn’t go to that area because it’s too far. I agreed, and we left it on a good note.

Later day, I sent him a funny selfie just a close-up zoomed in on my face with a self-deprecating joke like, “Look at my big ass nose 😂.” (My nose isn’t even that big; I was just being silly like I usually am with my friends.) My friends all laughed and sent back their own nose pics, but he went completely silent. No response at all.

I’m confused because everything seemed to go really well. Now I’m wondering if that silly selfie killed his interest. Would guys actually lose interest over something like that?

I haven’t double-texted him since that last message, and I don’t want to. But my mind is spiraling trying to make sense of the sudden silence.

Any advice on what to do next?

I wanted to get your honest opinion on my FWB situation.

My FWB guy and I have been seeing each other since December. The last time we slept together was the week after Valentine’s Day. After that, he went to another country and has been gone for about three months now.

We still communicate very frequently not every single day, but close to it. From a female perspective, I can see how this could feel somewhat normal depending on the emotional investment, but I’m confused. When he was here, before he left, we didn’t talk daily at all. It was mostly just casual hookups we’d hit each other up when we wanted to hook up, and that was it. We kept it light on purpose to avoid catching feelings, which felt like normal FWB behavior to me.

But since he’s been gone, he’s been reaching out a lot more. We talk about random things and stay in consistent contact. It’s starting to feel relationship-y to me, and I’m not sure what’s going on. This is my first time in a true fwb situation, so I don’t know the “protocol.”

Do you think this is still typical FWB behavior, or does it sound like it’s becoming more than that? I don’t want to get too emotionally invested and end up getting hurt. The daily talking has become familiar and comforting, and I’m worried I’m getting used to it when it might just be a temporary pattern while he’s away. Is this a normal fwb behavior from a guy?

I’d really appreciate your honest take on this. Thank you.

I keep hearing that if a guy is really into you and you’re amazing in bed, he’ll cum quickly usually within the first five or ten minutes of sex. But with this guy I’m seeing, it always takes him a long time. The entire session, from foreplay to him finishing, lasts about 40–45 minutes. Now I’m starting to question why he doesn’t finish faster and whether it’s a bad sign.

I’m especially overthinking the last time we had sex. I told him he could cum (in a specific spot), and he replied, “I don’t think I can.” I said it was okay and looked him in the eyes, reassuring him that he didn’t have to. Then he grabbed me tightly, pulled me closer, and kept going until he finished. In the moment it felt intense, but afterward it made me wonder if he’s actually interested in me or if he’s just sleeping with me because I’m available.

It was around 2 a.m. and he was high, so I’m not sure if that affected things. Overall, the sex itself is really good that’s not the issue. But I can’t stop wondering: Is there a real correlation between how fast a guy cums and how attracted he is to a woman? Does it mean he’s not enjoying it, not that into me, or that I’m not good enough in bed?

This is our sixth time sleeping together, and it’s playing over and over in my head. I’m worried I don’t have a “good pussy” or that I’m not turning him on enough. Be honest, guys is the time it takes him to finish a sign of low attraction, or does it depend on other factors?

I’ve started talking to this man, and I’ve noticed he’s very erratic. One minute he does things that make me believe he’s really interested in me, and the next minute he makes me feel like he hates my guts.

For example, on Tuesday we hung out in person. He insisted we get cake, and then he said, “Let me feed you,” because he wanted to have a sweet moment with me. After that, we went to my car and he unprompted grabbed me and hugged me tightly. The very next day and today as well I’ve heard absolutely nothing from him. Zero contact.

Last Sunday, I told him about an event I went to. He asked if I had fun, what I did, and so on. Then, out of nowhere, he asked, “Did you fuck someone?” I said no. He replied that people do that at those kinds of events.

Three weeks ago, he tried to make me jealous or get a reaction out of me by telling me he’d had “hot sex” the night before. He even offered to show me picture of the girl. I was curious and said okay. He sent a clip of some woman talking. When I asked if that was her, he said yes. Then he said, “LOL, I know you can’t handle this.” When I stayed calm and said I was glad he had fun, he backtracked and admitted he hadn’t actually slept with anyone he just wanted to see my reaction. He even used a random girl he met to make the story more believable.

He’s done other things too. About six weeks ago, he asked about my sexual past. I told him I’ve only slept with five guys. He then asked about their dick sizes. I warned him multiple times, asking if he was sure he wanted to know, but he insisted. After I answered, he got very insecure about the guy with the biggest one even though I told him the sex was actually terrible, painful, and uncomfortable. Afterward, he said he felt insecure, lonely, and needed space. He also said he doesn’t like trusting people. This felt backward because I was the one who had opened up to him, not the other way around.

When I reassured him that I wasn’t sticking around just to be in a relationship that I genuinely liked him and prefer things to happen naturally he responded by sending me an unsolicited video of himself jerking off.

This man is in his 30s. If he were a teenager, I might understand, but he’s a grown man acting like this. I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone. At this point, I’m not even sure I want to be with him anymore. I’m mostly just trying to understand what the hell is going on. Have other men experienced or done things like this? Is this insecurity? Is he crazy? I’m genuinely curious.

When I start dating someone who texts me every single day “Good morning,” “How are you?” “What are you doing?” it really annoys me. I can’t stand it. It feels so mundane, boring, typical, and predictable. I just cannot engage in that kind of conversation.

I’d much rather we not talk all day and instead check in once at the end of the day. Something like, “Hey, I’ve been busy doing this and that how are you?” Then we can actually share what we did. Or if something exciting or interesting happens, we can tell each other then.

But the daily routine of “How are you doing today?” “I’m good, thanks. What about you?” “I’m good too. Did you eat?” “Yeah, I ate this. Did you?” oh my gosh, every single day? I can’t. I just can’t.

Maybe I’m overreacting or being dramatic, but does anyone else find this tedious, redundant, and completely unbearable? Do you guys actually enjoy the constant daily check-in texts when you’re dating?

This guy and I made plans last week to hang out today. He texted me first this morning, and I replied asking, “Are we still hanging out today?”

He responded by saying, “I’ve been trying to hang out with you all week long, LOL,” then asked about my availability for the weekend and suggested Tuesday would work better for him.

The thing is, he didn’t try to hang out with me once this entire week. Not a single time. He only sent a few random “what’s up” texts. I don’t know if he thinks “what’s up” counts as making plans, or if he was using Morse code or telepathy for me to read his mind from far away through WhatsApp, but I’m just dumbfounded. We already had concrete plans for this afternoon, and now he’s claiming he’s been trying all week? It really pissed me off.

Am I overreacting, or is this as annoying as it feels?

I’ve been seeing this guy casually for a while. The other day we were hanging out in his car, talking. I was wearing a dress, and when I lifted my leg, the dress slid up my thighs. He suddenly got weird, said “I have to go” mid-sentence, and left abruptly.

Lately he’s also been saying random shit like “did you fuck someone?” or “he slept with someone” just to get a reaction out of me. And he keeps accusing me of sexting other guys, like I sit around all day sending nudes to random men. I don’t even have time for that I have a job and a life. One guy is more than enough for me.

I’m so confused and annoyed. Is this normal behavior or is something off with him?

He ghosts me for a day or two, but I can see him actively posting and snapping on multiple platforms the whole time. His Snap score keeps going up while he’s leaving me on delivered. 🙄

Then, when it’s convenient for him, he suddenly hits me up from everywhere like nothing happened. The audacity is actually wild.

Has anyone else dealt with this kind of hot-and-cold behavior? Why do people do this?

Would I be crazy for telling him off right now, or should I just walk away without saying anything? This has been driving me nuts. We are not platonic friends. We’re not dating. We’re just stuck in this weird middle situation, and it’s very complicated.

Over the past six weeks, he has done so many fucked-up things that it makes me wonder if he is mentally okay. Like, is he sane? Can he think clearly?

For example, he made up a fake story about fucking someone at the festival just to try to make me jealous. Then he said he fucked this woman, and later he was like, “Oh no, I’m just joking. I just wanted to see your reaction.” What the hell? Then last weekend when I went out, he asked me if I fucked somebody, and he got all insecure about my exes that I haven’t seen in a long time.

Part of me wants to completely ignore him and just walk away. But there’s also a part of me that wants to read him left to right and make him feel shit because he has been a fucking asshole. I know the bigger person would just walk away without saying anything, but my petty side really wants to tell him off.