u/FarEconomy4484

I 28M and my now ex fiancé 25F stay at home mom are splitting up after approx 3 years. We have a 15 month old. I have suffered with PTSD( Covid worker/watched family members die in front of me/been physically abused) , depression,anxiety , and my ex has depression/post partum . There is NO verbal or physical abuse or cheating in this relationship . She came to me last week and stated she could not do this anymore and ZERO reconciliation can happen now. She states she only wants to talk about our child/movingon. No couples therapy, no counseling, no break a part. I developed a SEVERE gambling addiction 9 months ago and it took a huge toll ( lies, debt,etc.) and she stated that as long as I was getting help she would work on things. I have been going to GA, therapy, not gambling, and pouring more into our family but now she states that it’s too late. She states she feels drained. She doesn’t have the energy for us anymore. This destroyed me because I love her, and I love our son. Ultimately I respect her choice, even though I’d do anything to get my family back.

She still wishes to nest co- parent in the same house until she can get a job, I’ve been working INSANE 12 hour night shifts for like 8 days in a row trying to get out of debt. I bought us a house, bought her her own car and still pay for everything. She does not cook or clean or pour into working on herself. I bought her a gym membership and told her that i want us to get mentally well and that i don’t want to pressure her, but i need a plan and deadlines for when she can leave.

I am destroyed. I told her i take accountability for not being the partner/spouse and Dad i should be. I came clean about everything when this happened months ago. She’s states she doesn’t want court involvement but wants to leave and take our son and have him primarily sleep with her. And i visit whenever I can. She has mentioned “ i don’t know what God has planned” whenever I talk about working on us but she states she can’t do it now.

Question;
how do i keep my sanity, cure and rebuild myself, and also be fair towards her and helping all of us?

How can i make sure i have a good relationship with my son?

And i feel hopeless, how do you deal with this level of doom and grief ?

Is there anyway that if i can get my shit together and man up, that i can have my family back?

And if not does this ever get better?

I 28M and my now ex fiancé 25F stay at home mom are splitting up after approx 3 years. We have a 15 month old. I have suffered with PTSD( Covid worker/watched family members die in front of me/been physically abused) , depression,anxiety , and my ex has depression/post partum . There is NO verbal or physical abuse or cheating in this relationship . She came to me last week and stated she could not do this anymore and ZERO reconciliation can happen now. She states she only wants to talk about our child/movingon. No couples therapy, no counseling, no break a part. I developed a SEVERE gambling addiction 9 months ago and it took a huge toll ( lies, debt,etc.) and she stated that as long as I was getting help she would work on things. I have been going to GA, therapy, not gambling, and pouring more into our family but now she states that it’s too late. She states she feels drained. She doesn’t have the energy for us anymore. This destroyed me because I love her, and I love our son. Ultimately I respect her choice, even though I’d do anything to get my family back.

She still wishes to nest co- parent in the same house until she can get a job, I’ve been working INSANE 12 hour night shifts for like 8 days in a row trying to get out of debt. I bought us a house, bought her her own car and still pay for everything. She does not cook or clean or pour into working on herself. I bought her a gym membership and told her that i want us to get mentally well and that i don’t want to pressure her, but i need a plan and deadlines for when she can leave.

I am destroyed. I told her i take accountability for not being the partner/spouse and Dad i should be. I came clean about everything when this happened months ago. She’s states she doesn’t want court involvement but wants to leave and take our son and have him primarily sleep with her. And i visit whenever I can. She has mentioned “ i don’t know what God has planned” whenever I talk about working on us but she states she can’t do it now.

Question;
how do i keep my sanity, cure and rebuild myself, and also be fair towards her and helping all of us?

How can i make sure i have a good relationship with my son?

And i feel hopeless, how do you deal with this level of doom and grief ?

Is there anyway that if i can get my shit together and man up, that i can have my family back?

And if not does this ever get better?

I 28M and my now ex fiancé 25F stay at home mom are splitting up after approx 3 years. We have a 15 month old. I have suffered with PTSD( Covid worker/watched family members die in front of me/been physically abused) , depression,anxiety , and my ex has depression/post partum . There is NO verbal or physical abuse or cheating in this relationship . She came to me last week and stated she could not do this anymore and ZERO reconciliation can happen now. She states she only wants to talk about our child/movingon. No couples therapy, no counseling, no break a part. I developed a SEVERE gambling addiction 9 months ago and it took a huge toll ( lies, debt,etc.) and she stated that as long as I was getting help she would work on things. I have been going to GA, therapy, not gambling, and pouring more into our family but now she states that it’s too late. She states she feels drained. She doesn’t have the energy for us anymore. This destroyed me because I love her, and I love our son. Ultimately I respect her choice, even though I’d do anything to get my family back.

She still wishes to nest co- parent in the same house until she can get a job, I’ve been working INSANE 12 hour night shifts for like 8 days in a row trying to get out of debt. I bought us a house, bought her her own car and still pay for everything. She does not cook or clean or pour into working on herself. I bought her a gym membership and told her that i want us to get mentally well and that i don’t want to pressure her, but i need a plan and deadlines for when she can leave.

I am destroyed. I told her i take accountability for not being the partner/spouse and Dad i should be. I came clean about everything when this happened months ago. She’s states she doesn’t want court involvement but wants to leave and take our son and have him primarily sleep with her. And i visit whenever I can. She has mentioned “ i don’t know what God has planned” whenever I talk about working on us but she states she can’t do it now.

Question;
how do i keep my sanity, cure and rebuild myself, and also be fair towards her and helping all of us?

How can i make sure i have a good relationship with my son?

And i feel hopeless, how do you deal with this level of doom and grief ?

Is there anyway that if i can get my shit together and man up, that i can have my family back?

And if not does this ever get better?

I 28M and my now ex fiancé 25F stay at home mom are splitting up after approx 3 years. We have a 15 month old. I have suffered with PTSD( Covid worker/watched family members die in front of me/been physically abused) , depression,anxiety , and my ex has depression/post partum . There is NO verbal or physical abuse or cheating in this relationship . She came to me last week and stated she could not do this anymore and ZERO reconciliation can happen now. She states she only wants to talk about our child/movingon. No couples therapy, no counseling, no break a part. I developed a SEVERE gambling addiction 9 months ago and it took a huge toll ( lies, debt,etc.) and she stated that as long as I was getting help she would work on things. I have been going to GA, therapy, not gambling, and pouring more into our family but now she states that it’s too late. She states she feels drained. She doesn’t have the energy for us anymore. This destroyed me because I love her, and I love our son. Ultimately I respect her choice, even though I’d do anything to get my family back.

She still wishes to nest co- parent in the same house until she can get a job, I’ve been working INSANE 12 hour night shifts for like 8 days in a row trying to get out of debt. I bought us a house, bought her her own car and still pay for everything. She does not cook or clean or pour into working on herself. I bought her a gym membership and told her that i want us to get mentally well and that i don’t want to pressure her, but i need a plan and deadlines for when she can leave.

I am destroyed. I told her i take accountability for not being the partner/spouse and Dad i should be. I came clean about everything when this happened months ago. She’s states she doesn’t want court involvement but wants to leave and take our son and have him primarily sleep with her. And i visit whenever I can. She has mentioned “ i don’t know what God has planned” whenever I talk about working on us but she states she can’t do it now.

Question;
how do i keep my sanity, cure and rebuild myself, and also be fair towards her and helping all of us?

How can i make sure i have a good relationship with my son?

And i feel hopeless, how do you deal with this level of doom and grief ?

Is there anyway that if i can get my shit together and man up, that i can have my family back?

And if not does this ever get better?

I 28M and my now ex fiancé 25F stay at home mom are splitting up after approx 3 years. We have a 15 month old. I have suffered with PTSD( Covid worker/watched family members die in front of me/been physically abused) , depression,anxiety , and my ex has depression/post partum . There is NO verbal or physical abuse or cheating in this relationship . She came to me last week and stated she could not do this anymore and ZERO reconciliation can happen now. She states she only wants to talk about our child/movingon. No couples therapy, no counseling, no break a part. I developed a SEVERE gambling addiction 9 months ago and it took a huge toll ( lies, debt,etc.) and she stated that as long as I was getting help she would work on things. I have been going to GA, therapy, not gambling, and pouring more into our family but now she states that it’s too late. She states she feels drained. She doesn’t have the energy for us anymore. This destroyed me because I love her, and I love our son. Ultimately I respect her choice, even though I’d do anything to get my family back.

She still wishes to nest co- parent in the same house until she can get a job, I’ve been working INSANE 12 hour night shifts for like 8 days in a row trying to get out of debt. I bought us a house, bought her her own car and still pay for everything. She does not cook or clean or pour into working on herself. I bought her a gym membership and told her that i want us to get mentally well and that i don’t want to pressure her, but i need a plan and deadlines for when she can leave.

I am destroyed. I told her i take accountability for not being the partner/spouse and Dad i should be. I came clean about everything when this happened months ago. She’s states she doesn’t want court involvement but wants to leave and take our son and have him primarily sleep with her. And i visit whenever I can. She has mentioned “ i don’t know what God has planned” whenever I talk about working on us but she states she can’t do it now.

Question;
how do i keep my sanity, cure and rebuild myself, and also be fair towards her and helping all of us?

How can i make sure i have a good relationship with my son?

And i feel hopeless, how do you deal with this level of doom and grief ?

Is there anyway that if i can get my shit together and man up, that i can have my family back?

And if not does this ever get better?

I 28M and my now ex fiancé 25F stay at home mom are splitting up after approx 3 years. We have a 15 month old. I have suffered with PTSD( Covid worker/watched family members die in front of me/been physically abused) , depression,anxiety , and my ex has depression/post partum . There is NO verbal or physical abuse or cheating in this relationship . She came to me last week and stated she could not do this anymore and ZERO reconciliation can happen now. She states she only wants to talk about our child/movingon. No couples therapy, no counseling, no break a part. I developed a SEVERE gambling addiction 9 months ago and it took a huge toll ( lies, debt,etc.) and she stated that as long as I was getting help she would work on things. I have been going to GA, therapy, not gambling, and pouring more into our family but now she states that it’s too late. She states she feels drained. She doesn’t have the energy for us anymore. This destroyed me because I love her, and I love our son. Ultimately I respect her choice, even though I’d do anything to get my family back.

She still wishes to nest co- parent in the same house until she can get a job, I’ve been working INSANE 12 hour night shifts for like 8 days in a row trying to get out of debt. I bought us a house, bought her her own car and still pay for everything. She does not cook or clean or pour into working on herself. I bought her a gym membership and told her that i want us to get mentally well and that i don’t want to pressure her, but i need a plan and deadlines for when she can leave.

I am destroyed. I told her i take accountability for not being the partner/spouse and Dad i should be. I came clean about everything when this happened months ago. She’s states she doesn’t want court involvement but wants to leave and take our son and have him primarily sleep with her. And i visit whenever I can. She has mentioned “ i don’t know what God has planned” whenever I talk about working on us but she states she can’t do it now.

Question;
how do i keep my sanity, cure and rebuild myself, and also be fair towards her and helping all of us?

How can i make sure i have a good relationship with my son?

And i feel hopeless, how do you deal with this level of doom and grief ?

Is there anyway that if i can get my shit together and man up, that i can have my family back?

And if not does this ever get better?

Me (29M) and Ex (26F) are just now working on splitting up and going separate ways. We have a 15mo old. My uncle gave her money and she told me about it. Money has been tight and a problem for us . I asked her how much and she said that it is not appropriate for me to ask. We argued a little and I eventually dropped it and apologized for asking and she emphasized that we are separated and i don’t have a right to ask and she has boundaries. I kinda thought that she could’ve just said the amount, i wasn’t gonna ask her for money and I told her that I am happy that he blessed her, i was just curious and wanted to know. My uncle has never given me money like that so it does hurt but im a guy so who cares how i feel right?