u/Fearless-Victory7602

A squish is like a platonic crush you want to be the persons friend. So when I was 12 I had my first squish of wanting to be friends with a girl. She came info the room and immediately I was curious. I was really happy and excited to be talking to this one individual. And I was talking about them to my parent like crazy on how amazing they were. After this I kept getting these weird squishes on girls and for some reason I managed to turn it romantic. Now…..I’m not gay. I’m not into women, women aren’t ugly but they just ain't for me. Can’t compare to the sexual fantasies of guys I’ve had. But I wanted attention from these girls so bad I got upset if they had boyfriends, etc. Like I would never have sex with them but I liked to imagine them romantic. I think with my need for attention and doubting I could get that much attention from them with them just liking me as a friend I was like that. But I think it’s selfish to lead someone on that I don’t want sex with to like me completely. But anyhow that’s how I remember a squish for me. Anyone else?

A few days ago I got symptoms that seemed like an ear infection that kept getting worse so I went to the doctor but they checked me and said it was etd. I got nasal spray and apparently in two weeks, if it continues it can get infected. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do after two weeks. I don't think I’m supposed to be doing nasal all the time. It could be allergies but I also had tinnitus before this happened on the same ear from time to time. I now have permanent buzzing in the effected ear.

I live in an anti psychiatry and therapy home so all the mental health management has been done by me. All the time I’m either always extremely angry, scared or numb. The pressure from my high amounts of stress goes to my heart and I’ve been having chest pains due to my constant racing heart. I told my parent already I’ve been having problems after all the trauma I went through but they couldn't understand. I went to the er cuase i was scared I was dying and they said I’m medically fine.

I started having emotional issues after horrific trauma In my early to mid teen years. I get triggered so bad and once I’m triggered the numb, fear and anger doesn’t stop until the trigger is gone or I have a change of view. It’s 24/7 which makes it hard to do life and hobbies. Theres always something that triggers me. I get scared that I’ll die from a fast heart rate. And even when I’m normal my default is feeling on edge.

I have been trying to learn how to manage this but so far it’s still bad and have been thinking if a psych ward is the best option. Maybe they have a drug to slow down my anxiety or heart rate because I’m tired and scared of my chest pains. I’m so sore. I’m 20 years old.

Maybe I could just go to my primary care doc.

Im repulsed by porn, and peoples bodies. I had a first kiss and it felt like kissing a wall. The thing is, is that I also like sexual attention from abusive guys. And can only fantasize about them but still feel uncomfortable being so close to them. Like they’re still dull and uninteresting. This is due to sexual trauma in childhood and I’ve gotten to the point where saying I’ve never been into anyone scares me and I just don’t wanna tell anyone of my sexuality, or anything to do with it at all. I don’t know how to fix this to be honest.

I won’t respond to DMs.

I’ve never been in love but for some reason getting rejected by this one person caused me to be emotionally numb for a year and I’m still dealing with up and down periods of numbness. I think getting rejected alone changed my brain chemistry. We weren’t even dating, this is cuase of the past abuse. And also loosing them. They not dead though.

So, once again my family has been back at it with air plane horror movies. And I gotta say…..fuck this shit. Every single god damn time they put these movies on it’s always shit. First of all, they’re just stuck in a plane so theres not much you could do. The same environment gets boring. Theres always gotta be a man and little fucking girl. Always gotta be mostly about them. Oh my god save the little girl and forget everyone else. Most of the movies are all about, oh my god this scary thing, sike, it was all psychological. And then this movie, no surprise whatsoever is like, hey maybe this is all psychological, SIKE, it’s real. Fuck you with my two middle fingers. And the aliens aren’t new, basically cropped out logic from other media like always. And then once again with these bs you got the stupid new generation Shit that sound like their trying to relate to the younger generation but it’s just desperation. I couldn't stay to watch the end of this movie but I know it was probably generic as fuck.

When the hell does summer youth start contacting?

Basically the title. Help me out.

For people with mental health issues, can you show me a guide or something on what I’m supposed to be able to do for a pet. My energy levels, am I able to do chores, regulate my emotions, etc. Im trying to figure out when im considered stable enough mentally for a pet despite mental illnesses.

Is it possible to be put in the psych ward by a lie someone said about you that you were a danger to yourself or others? How did this effect nurses treatment of you and your diagnosis?

I have pain in my left abdomen and swelling on my left lower stomach. My stool lately has been soft or runny. I freaked Out I was dying and went to an urgent care, they said maybe ovary cyst or fibroid. Freaked out some more and went to emergency room, but they did cat scan, blood test, and urine test, everything normal. So they recommended a diet change or avoiding dairy to see how I feel after.

idk where to start and feel embarrassed Im actually fine. Could anyone guide me a bit on healthy diet and avoiding dairy. I really don’t know what the problem is.

I’ve never had either I couldn’t make up my mind. To the people who have had both what’s the difference?

You guys feel isolated when thinking about the hate? Every time I think about the hate towards me I end up feeling isolated and like I’m going crazy. How has your experience with this been? Talking about bpd hate.

I am afraid of isolation and loneliness to a point I self sabotage with other people which makes the feelings worse. This is due to trauma. How do I accept it and wait to find someone who I can connect with? Without forcing things.

Can they not fit the stereotype? Can they be soft, kind, childlike, Fragile, big emotions or emotional, Etc. I always see these big bad males and I Wonder if one could be the complete opposite of that and still hurt a kid. Sources are very appreciated. Sorry if I’m actually very wrong about how they actually are.

Like can I self isolate if not having a therapist at the moment. Not making any new friends at the moment without one. I have like one friend but I don’t really tell people my problems.

What is the perspective on friendships with gay people who are in countries where it’s illegal to be gay vs gay people who are in countries where it’s legal?

I fear not being numb. Without it I feel scared and with the mind of a child. If something happens when I’m not numb the fear feels like being stabbed. That’s a scary feeling if you have to overcome an intense situation. And pretend you feel like an adult.

So basically I made a comment on the internet that Im at a point in life that if I went to a club I wouldn’t care about my safety. And this man came in DMs to tell me not to do that to myself. At first it was fine, however things have gotten weird for me. For some reason they tried to be my therapist, which I declined. They like to ask a lot of questions and we asked each other question. they started asking about my sex life. A position I like to masturbate in. And then later on wondering about if I was sa. And about my sa. Pushing me to do shit. Why? What is the reason? What is happening here? I know I’m basically gossiping about them and they could find out but……. Why?