I am afraid of isolation and loneliness to a point I self sabotage with other people which makes the feelings worse. This is due to trauma. How do I accept it and wait to find someone who I can connect with? Without forcing things.
Can they not fit the stereotype? Can they be soft, kind, childlike, Fragile, big emotions or emotional, Etc. I always see these big bad males and I Wonder if one could be the complete opposite of that and still hurt a kid. Sources are very appreciated. Sorry if I’m actually very wrong about how they actually are.
Like can I self isolate if not having a therapist at the moment. Not making any new friends at the moment without one. I have like one friend but I don’t really tell people my problems.
What is the perspective on friendships with gay people who are in countries where it’s illegal to be gay vs gay people who are in countries where it’s legal?
I fear not being numb. Without it I feel scared and with the mind of a child. If something happens when I’m not numb the fear feels like being stabbed. That’s a scary feeling if you have to overcome an intense situation. And pretend you feel like an adult.
So basically I made a comment on the internet that Im at a point in life that if I went to a club I wouldn’t care about my safety. And this man came in DMs to tell me not to do that to myself. At first it was fine, however things have gotten weird for me. For some reason they tried to be my therapist, which I declined. They like to ask a lot of questions and we asked each other question. they started asking about my sex life. A position I like to masturbate in. And then later on wondering about if I was sa. And about my sa. Pushing me to do shit. Why? What is the reason? What is happening here? I know I’m basically gossiping about them and they could find out but……. Why?
How do I not attention seek when feeling rejected? Scared they’re leaving me or I know they don’t like a part of me but I have to talk to them anyway. How do I lower the desire to info dump or tell them things? Weird jokes.