u/FelicitySparks996

I suspect my mother is narcissistic, but we are still close to a certain extent since I have no friends and I’m just alone in life. Though sometimes I just think that that’s just the way she was raised since her family is narcissistic too.

Lately, we went to a jewelry repair shop for her jewelry. That night, she’s been asking to see all my jewelry. I feel suspicious because one time, my single aunt gave a bundle of jewelry and she demanded to go through it and took some. I still gave her the bigger ones that she kept in the bank. She keeps saying it’s mine anyway, but I feel nervous that she’ll give it to my brother’s future wife. I kept my one pouch and she got mad that I didn’t bring out. My dad even called me out for it.

So I called her to my room to show them what I had in the pouch. She then took a diamond pendant (!) and I had to call her out for it before she returned it. I put it back into my locked drawer.

THIS I DID NOT SEE COMING.

I’ve been going back to work. I brought a jewelry box gifted to me by my colleague. She then asks me what I have in there and I said nothing. I went back to work the next day. MY MOM WENT THROUGH MY CLOSET without telling me. She said she was looking for hangers and that she “fixed” my messy closet for me and that I should be grateful. The whole conversation went downhill at a restaurant where my family had the entire ugly conversation. Apparently, she feels wronged that I wasn’t grateful. She said she only “fixed” my closet. I know that she wanted to see if I had hidden any more jewelry.

When I got back home, I checked my drawer and to my surprise, it wasn’t locked? I forgot to lock it!? I told her she should have given me a heads up before going through my stuff. When I opened the drawer, it looks like she didn’t go through it though, I can’t tell. I honestly just want to put them all in the bank for safekeeping.

Had a bad day guys, I got hurt at work and when I had dinner with parents, they went on a tirade at me saying ugly things about me in public.

I’m thirty and single. I noticed that my self-esteem has taken a hit because I missed getting married in my twenties. I did have a long-term relationship but it ended four years ago and I’ve never had anything romantic except with a player (I got hooked to his lovebombing).

I’ve been working on my insecurities but they seem to be excessive. This year, I’ve purchased many different skincare products and creams that target dark spots, bumpy skin, and heal blemishes. Twice a week it takes me around thirty minutes to an hour just applying all these different creams all over my body. I’ve also gotten facial and hair treatments worth $130. Lately, I did start feeling confident enough to no longer wear makeup in public but I still have issues with my body.

I also compensate for lack of romance through excessive shopping. I’ve been buying lots of clothes because I feel I have to make myself stylish. It doesn’t help that I’ve gained a little weight. I know I’m above average in looks it’s just that maybe my personality may not be attractive enough for men to genuinely love me.

Since I’ve gained weight, especially on my bust, I do notice that I’ve been receiving ogling from some men. It may be a form of validation when I was younger, but now it feels icky.

How do you deal with these kinds of insecurities and what are forms of healthy male validation?

I’m deciding between a bi-fold or tri-fold leather cover. Let me know your preferences and why.

CONTEXT: For two years, a coworker I suspect is a narcissist has been messing with me. When I was new, he would always hover, ogle, and talk to me. He was very sweet and attentive, but I noticed some red flags that when I don’t comply with what he expects, he’ll subtly hurt me. Since I’m lonely in the office and am attracted to his charm, I eventually softened up to him and hinted I’m not open to dating.

Nevertheless, the lovebombing and sexually-implied touches continued. There’s scratching of my palm, touching my bra clasp when guiding my walk, and one time, when I was crouched down to fix something, he caressed the back of my head as if I was giving head. At the same time, he’d been creeping into my personal life. He drove me home once and learned where I live. We’ve met outside of work, he’s met my family, and he messages me at night. He also talks about dating, marriage and babies without explicitly saying it’s me and hints at him being a good lover. He also says we’re friends (wtf).

If I don’t give him supply, he’d withdraw and choose another woman at the office. It’s driving me crazy. There have several periods where my body responded to the abuse by being unable to sleep, nausea, hyperacidity, depressive mood, and emotional spills at work. I’ve tried to get away from him but he keeps coming back. Last December, when we became good again, I prayed to God for protection because I didn’t know what to do about him. Strangely, I’ve also become attached to him.

NOW: In January, we got a new hire and he pivots. There’s tension between the three of us because it’s like a tug-of-war. He’s going back and forth between us. He’s doing the same cycle he did with me to her. And it’s working on her because she’s trying to get his attention and flirting back. She’s also monitoring him and seeing if he still goes to me. Honestly, their interactions have been a trigger for my emotional spills and I hate it when he visibly chooses her over me.

Me and narc guy just learned that the new girl is getting fired next week. I didn’t want to let him know because I’m worried he’ll actively try to win her over more during her last days in the office. He might also pursue her once she doesn’t work there anymore. She has a boyfriend but I don’t know why she’s flirting back at him.

Is it true that the new girl will be treated the same? The most painful part for me was how fast he could replace me after causing so much emotional distress for me. I also did my best to accommodate him and I feel so unloveable. It was also humiliating optics at work because he’d suddenly drop me to hang with someone else and then he’d return to me. I told someone at the office, but after talking to him, that person got convinced of his charms too. It’s all so triggering and I can’t escape because it’s at work so I even started to go to therapy.

I have too many branded clothes (H&M, Uniqlo, ZARA, etc.) that need to find their new home. I know people mainly sell their items online through Carousell and FB Marketplace, but going through each item is too tedious and photos don’t do justice to the look and quality of clothes.

I’m hoping to find a space to rent for a day or two where I can display all of my items for sale. I also do not live in a subdivision and opening up our garage for it seems very dangerous.

Do you have suggestions for this? Hopefully, it has good foot traffic. I seriously need more funds. Thank you!

CONTEXT: For two years, a coworker I suspect is a narcissist has been messing with me. When I was new, he would always hover, ogle, and talk to me. He was very sweet and attentive, but I noticed some red flags that when I don’t comply with what he expects, he’ll subtly hurt me. Since I’m lonely in the office and am attracted to his charm, I eventually softened up to him and hinted I’m not open to dating.

Nevertheless, the lovebombing and sexually-implied touches continued. There’s scratching of my palm, touching my bra clasp when guiding my walk, and one time, when I was crouched down to fix something, he caressed the back of my head as if I was giving head. At the same time, he’d been creeping into my personal life. He drove me home once and learned where I live. We’ve met outside of work, he’s met my family, and he messages me at night. He also talks about dating, marriage and babies without explicitly saying it’s me and hints at him being a good lover. He also says we’re friends (wtf).

If I don’t give him supply, he’d withdraw and choose another woman at the office. It’s driving me crazy. There have several periods where my body responded to the abuse by being unable to sleep, nausea, hyperacidity, depressive mood, and emotional spills at work. I’ve tried to get away from him but he keeps coming back. Last December, when we became good again, I prayed to God for protection because I didn’t know what to do about him. Strangely, I’ve also become attached to him.

NOW: In January, we got a new hire and he pivots. There’s tension between the three of us because it’s like a tug-of-war. He’s going back and forth between us. He’s doing the same cycle he did with me to her. And it’s working on her because she’s trying to get his attention and flirting back. She’s also monitoring him and seeing if he still goes to me. Honestly, their interactions have been a trigger for my emotional spills and I hate it when he visibly chooses her over me.

Me and narc guy just learned that the new girl is getting fired next week. I didn’t want to let him know because I’m worried he’ll actively try to win her over more during her last days in the office. He might also pursue her once she doesn’t work there anymore. She has a boyfriend but I don’t know why she’s flirting back at him.

Is it true that the new girl will be treated the same? The most painful part for me was how fast he could replace me after causing so much emotional distress for me. I also did my best to accommodate him and I feel so unloveable. It was also humiliating optics at work because he’d suddenly drop me to hang with someone else and then he’d return to me. I told someone at the office, but after talking to him, that person got convinced of his charms too. It’s all so triggering and I can’t escape because it’s at work so I even started to go to therapy.

I have a strange relationship with my coworker of two years that I suspect is a narcissist. When I was new, he kept hovering, ogling, and talking to me. He reminded me of a narc ex so I kept my distance. He would still try to get my attention and if I won’t, he’d flirt with my best friend.

After a year, he eventually got seated near my desk. He was so happy and volunteered to sit next to me. I softened and genuinely enjoyed our daily conversations. He did try to ask me out a couple of times, but I always diverted the conversation and hinted I already had someone in mind.

He’d do sexually-implied touches like scratching my palm and touching my bra clasp when guiding my walk. Once, he also felt my backside and when I was crouched down to fix something, he caressed the back of my head as if I was giving head. He also asked for hugs too. One time, we got drenched from the rain and he kept checking my white shirt saying it’s going to become see-through and to wear a coat.

He’d talk to me very often about dating, marriage, and babies but without explicitly referring to me. The strange thing is, from time to time, he’d mention that we’re just friends even though it feels like we’re a thing. Everyone in the office has noticed our vibe.

Even though my boundaries are overstepped, I am very attached to the times when he was caring and sweet. If I don’t comply, he hurts me, but since I’m alone in the office, he also provides me comfort. I’m so trauma bonded and addicted to the “good times.”

Every time I try to move on, he’d flirt with someone else in the office and it drives me crazy. It’s humiliating because it feels like he ditched me. He keeps hovering though. Now, there’s a new girl at the office and he’s doing the exact same cycle with her. It’s affected me so much that I have a visible reaction. He goes back and forth between us. I hate it whenever he visibly chooses her.

I have confided with someone else in the office, but you know how charming they can be. What should I do now?

By the way, we’re in an Asian context that avoids confrontations because it messes up team dynamics.

This coworker and I have this strange sexual tension for two years now. When I was new, he kept hovering, ogling and talking to me. He’d keep trying to get my attention sometimes flirting with my best friend. Then he got seated near me. He was really happy and volunteered to sit next to me. I softened and genuinely enjoyed our random daily conversations. It helped that he’s a handsome guy.

Sometimes, he’d touch me in a sexual manner like scratching the palm of my hand or touching my bra clasp when he guides me walking. One time, when I was crouched down fixing something, he also caressed the back of my head like I’m giving head. He also felt my backside.

He asked me out a few times, but I said no because we’re coworkers and I didn’t want a relationship in the office, but these ambiguous things kept happening.

Our conversations also revolve around dating, baby names, getting married and dating but never mentioning each other. He’d also discourage me from dating other guys. He’d get jealous when another guy gets close to me.

The crazy thing is, he keeps saying we’re friends. And now he’s orbiting between me and a new girl at the office. It drove me insane at one point. But if I stay away from him, he’ll just keep returning to me. Messaging me at night time. Mentioning going to my neighborhood.

Heck, just yesterday we got stuck under the rain without an umbrella and there’s a strange sexual tension. He checks my white shirt and tells me it’s gonna become see-through. Helps me with everything including putting on my coat.

A month ago, a friend had intervened and asked him to drop the ambiguity and stop flirting with me. He said we are friends. But these romantic moments still keep happening.

I make it a point to explore Makati every once in a while (I’m from QC). I already went to Salcedo Market, built a leather folio at Yardstick, and went to Ayala Museum for solo dates. Lately, I learned about the Atrium, but it can seem creepy for a solo date. Can you guys give me suggestions on where to go next? Like cafes to visit, hidden gems, activities, etc.

Two years at my current job. I can’t leave because it has good pay and prestige. We had an ambiguous situationship for some time. Is he just immature or is he a narcissist?

1. Very excited when I was new. Ogled me and wanted to get close to me. I wouldn’t budge so he flirted with my best friend instead (lasted 1 year).
2. Best friend left and we got seated together. Actually became close. Always subtly hurt me back if I enforce boundaries. Conditioned me.
3. TRIGGER WARNING. Low-key did sexual harassment in forms of sexually suggestive touches (rubbed my palm, my bra clasp, the back of my head once when I was hunched down fixing something).
4. Despite that, he was so charming and handsome, I let him feel I only wanted to be friends whenever he’d ask me out. We established a lunch routine.
5. Lunch routine collapsed when he actively ditched me one time leaving me stranded in the heavy rain.
6. Triangulated me with another girl at the office. I felt like going crazy at this point but distanced myself. He kept hovering around me.
7. Re-established breakfast, lunch, and going home routine together. Texting after work hours and met each others’ families too.
8. A new hire enters the picture and now he’s doing the same lovebombing thing to her. Drove me insane. She has a boyfriend though. Friend intervened and killed ambiguity. He said we are just friends.
9. I went to therapy and for three weeks, actively detached myself from him, he’s returning to the new hire and trying to get her attention now.

Still feeling depressed and replaced. What should I do now? I’m not popular in the office too because I’m quiet and tend to keep to myself.

I grew up in a narcissistic family system that goes back to both grandmothers (maternal and paternal). They basically made my parents’ life extremely difficult by refusing to provide emotional or financial support. Up until I was in university, life at home was very tumultuous because of so much stress. My extended relatives also treated us very badly (they were also narcissists and we were a scapegoat family because we became financially independent).

Later on, I noticed in my dating life and even in friendships, I always attract very mean and controlling people. I’d notice they’d dictate what I should do, demean me and sabotage me. Then I would create distance and eventually stop talking to them, hence I am always alone. I once had a long-term relationship that became so stressful, my health started suffering. After four years, I finally let go and learned what narcissistic personality disorder was.

I still have a long way to go, but for the past two years, I have gotten close to another guy and now I fear he is narcissistic too. There are clearly signs and I am never at peace with him, even as friends.

Am I doomed to only attract narcissists? Sometimes, it makes me feel so depressed to think that I’ll never escape this kind of life.

I’m new to Paper Republic and am still deciding which color to get. I’m leaning towards Rustic Rose and Venezia, but I am a bit hesitant on the Rustic Rose because it’s light-colored and I’m worried I might not like the patina over time.

Can you post your Paper Republic covers? I’m open to other choices too!

I’m also considering the high price point for these covers so I want one that I’ll truly love for some time, but there are no PR stores where I live so I can’t really check them in person. Also concerned about what insert notebooks I’ll use that fit the Pocket.