u/Fickle-Nobody-3128

My husband 32M had an affair with 22F for 6 months, during my 32F pregnancy and after my baby was born. He said he has cut off ties with her, writeoff all the money he gave her and even gave her the pleasure of listening to his confession to me.

Currently, I'm exclusively breastfeeding and taking zoloft for my depression and anxiety.

I've been so close to weaning my baby off just to start drinking or getting high on prescription medications. I also feel like harming myself at times but I've been refraining because I have a baby to take care off.

Any advice on reconciliation and what steps to take? I know indivisual therapy and couples therapy is a given, we are already doing that. But are there any alternatives?

Just for context, my husband 32M had an affair with a 22F for half a year when I 32F was pregnant and subsequently gave birth. He was emotionally disconnected for me and I feel only did the bare minimum for the baby.

After unraveling everything she received, like money, lingerie and clothes, fancy hotel rooms, taxi rides, romantic kissing, hugs, daily videocalls, masturbating to her, car sex, lunch, dessert, sending her to the airport for holiday and probably many more, I believe I am actually quite jealous. She didn't even need to spend a single cent.

It's not that he didn't provide during our dating life and marriage, he did. Albiet during our dating life, he wasn't earning as much as he is now. It's just that she got to receive it too, and that's the root cause of my jealousy.

He said he has stopped contacting her, but it doesn't change that she received so much in the last few months.

How can I move past this, if she gets to linger in his memories forever? Is it a good idea to recreate these memories so I'm the one he thinks about and not her? How do I find my self worth and stop being jealous of this homewrecker?

Just for context, my husband [32M] had an affair with a [22F] for half a year when I [32F] was pregnant and subsequently gave birth. He was emotionally disconnected for me and only did the bare minimum for the baby.

After unraveling everything she received, like money, lingerie and clothes, fancy hotel rooms, taxi rides, romantic kissing, hugs, daily videocalls, masturbating to her, car sex, lunch, dessert, sending her to the airport for holiday and probably many more, I believe I am actually quite jealous. She didn't even need to spend a single cent.

It's not that he didn't provide during our dating life and marriage, he did. Albiet during our dating life, he wasn't earning as much as he is now. It's just that she got to receive it too, and that's the root cause of my jealousy.

He said he has stopped contacting her, but it doesn't change that she received so much in the last few months.

How can I move past this, if she gets to linger in his memories forever? Is it a good idea to recreate these memories so I'm the one he thinks about and not her? How do I find my self worth and stop being jealous of this homewrecker?

Is it her changed behavior?

Is it because her focus is on the newborn?

Is it because her body has changed?

Is it her hormone levels?

Is it her age?

Is it her struggles with postpartum depression or anxiety?

November 2025, my SO started being distant and started communicating with [22F].

December 2025, I gave birth to a baby that we planned for.

January to May 2026, husband was talking to [22F] affair partner, buying lingerie with a princess tiara on Valentine's Day, frequent videocalls, remitting money for her alleged 'studies' and shopping (which he said he has written it off), seeing her frequently during trips back to our hometown, booking hourly hotels with unprotected intercourse multiple times from cheap to expensive rooms, having an intimate moment in his parents' car, getting lunch and dessert with her all while I was recovering and caring for my newborn. There may probably be more I don't know of.

Some of the days he went to see her, he kissed me and our baby goodbye and came back and greeted us with kisses.

My SO cited several reasons for breaking up with her such as being bored of her, getting irritated that she prefers video calls to texting, and that she was becoming like me.

For context, we have been together since 2013 and married since 2022. I was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety and was on medication until half my pregnancy. Recently started again with a higher dose and have been self harming.

He decided to confess in May and even allowed her to listen to his confession, giving her the pleasure of hurting me.

My SO cited several reasons to have pursued her when he met her on one of the local nsfw threads. First being she doesn't treat him like me, as I get angry often and he feels I demean him a lot. He claims this affair was like doing something for himself and every different sexual encounter is something 'new'. Also, he says he is able to objectify her. Next he said that being with me he has developed caregiver fatigue from always needing to be there for my emotional needs and probably other needs. He was recently diagnosed with ADHD and says that this behavior is partly from his condition. Also important thing he mentioned is that her boobs are nice. Just to reiterate, I recently gave birth, baby is only 6 months old and am currently breastfeeding.

I know every advice thread will ask to leave or create consequences but I just needed to rant. I'm all out of hope.

Hi. Wanted advice on what I can do as a spouse. My partner found [22F] one of the nsfw threads late last year during my third trimester. Recently, during my postpartum period and subsequently after that, they had unprotected sexual relations multiple times. What I have learnt is that they are always on video calls during working hours, he bought and sent her gifts, remitting her cash and had sent her home after their meet ups.

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Things have only come to light now as my baby is a 6 months. Also adding that we recently got a new apartment together and was planning to buy a new car.

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I honestly don't know how to move forward. Pls help. What can I do?

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TL;DR; Got screwed over before and after giving birth