u/FlourAndFleur

Tldr; People with a narcissistic Mother, how do you manage them and take care of yourself?

Tw: Mention of suicide ideation and attempt from someone close to me. I am safe. To clarify I am f30 she is f50+. I live in a different state from her but we all spent time together at a neutral relatives home.

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My Mom is an immature/narcissist parent. She was abusive to me growing up and allowed her husband to mentally and physically abuse me to the point I lived in a group home by the age of 10 as I had depression for obvious reasons, then I moved in with another relative at age 11 because the group home needed someone with more issues and I was deemed normal.

Her husband left and divorced her a few years ago after 20 years of marriage. I was no contact with her for the last 10 years. I allowed her back into my life when I found out she was taking better care to grow and heal, and I felt safer now that her ex husband was out if her life. But now she feels comfortable with me again, and has started drinking. I got home one night and she was drunk and acting really strange. She went into detail about wanting to self harm (she attempted a few years ago), what she would do ect. Her dad was an alcoholic who was also abusive to her. She's really fucked up and ever since she told me those thoughts I have had extreme anxiety and discomfort with any vulnerability or my own emotions or others. I feel disconnected. I dont know what to do from here? I already see a counselor and so does my Mom. I brought it up with her the next day what she told me and she said "Yeah well I was just thinking it and thats okay as long as I dont actually do it". Its like she has no clue how this has disturbed me and I think fundamentally changed me.