u/Fluffy_Anxiety_1713

I am 28F. My parents keep trying to set me up with guys (their parents advertise them in WeChat with height, college, job, etc). I’ve made it very clear that I have no intention of dating (I am in grad school and very busy. Plus, I am happy being single). They don’t force me to go on the dates or contacting the guys per se, but every time I say no, they won’t stop asking why and saying how I am getting old and am on a timeline for having kids (I don’t want biological kids). I have agreed to a few dates before, but no guy has ever clicked, and I end up hating myself after the dates because they make me feel like there is something is wrong with me for not enjoying them. Then when I tell my parents that I didn’t like them, they are like “why? But he is so good. He is better than you are and you are lucky that he even considered going out with you because you are a poor grad student at an average university and he is a medical student at a top school (or doctor, lawyer, etc). You need to contact him now.” And if I tell them to stop trying to set me up, they call me ungrateful and that they are doing me a favor.

I’ve told them before that I am in no rush and don’t want kids, and they threatened to have a surrogate child and replace me with them so that they can be grandparents and pass down their inheritance to blood-related grandchildren. Never mind that this supposed child is also a human being and is not guaranteed to want kids either…? I care very little about inheriting money from them, but I am deeply hurt that I mean so little to them than a means to continue the bloodline.

I don’t know. I feel like every time they try to guilt me with this makes me feel like I’m just a broken human for not wanting what an apparent “normal” person wants.

AITAH?

I’m so tired but I feel like I’m so behind and that others are working harder than I am. I feel unappreciated for what I do, but also that I’m not doing enough. I feel like I try to put on a happy mask when I come into lab, but inside I’m just so overstimulated by social interactions and all the lab sounds that I just want to lock myself in a dark room by myself in silence. I’m trying so hard yet it never feels like it’s enough.

And yet here I am, working in labs on the weekends basically alone, but it never seems like I’m good enough.

How are people budgeting for running shoes, especially higher mileage runners?

I run around 50 miles per week, so I go through shoes quickly. The amount of money I’ve been spending feels absurd, even though I know in the grand scheme of things, running is still one of the less expensive sports.

Are there any clearance shoe websites? In terms of specific brands/models, I almost exclusively wear Brooks Glycerin or Ghost and have for over a decade (it’s honestly just me being superstitious at those point).

Received a ticket for backing into a parking spot in a parking lot. I didn’t see any signs saying that was prohibited (unless it is just something people should know). Should I try to dispute it?

I am currently a fourth year PhD student in biomedical sciences (two more years left) and am starting to figure out my future. I know for R1s, generally you want to get a postdoc and a lot of publications and grants post-graduation, but if I am interested in working at a SLAC or a less research-intensive institution, what would you recommend I do to prepare?

I keep overeating chips and cookies :(

I hate how they think my diagnosed depression is me being “dramatic.” I hate how my diagnosed anorexia was brushed off as me “being stupid”- as though they didn’t contribute to it by telling me how fat I was and how I had no self-control (and they still tell me that to this day, even though I am physically healthier than I’ve been in a long time). I hate how I just need to “get over” my anxiety, as though I don’t fight through it every day. I hate how they think that “just be happy” is enough. I hate how my self-worth is so dependent on how much I am able to contribute and on their opinion of me (even though logically I know it doesn’t matter).

And the stupid thing is? When I am upset, my feelings don’t matter, but when my parents get upset, suddenly it’s like the world ends.

I often feel like I don’t know how to be human. My friends and mentors have helped me a lot with processing and self-acceptance. They’ve helped me feel like I’m enough and worthy of love (with no strings attached). But it’s still all an uphill battle.

Hi everyone, I figured I would give it a shot and post here :)

I am a graduate student in biology located on Long Island and volunteer in the community as an EMT. I used to be a XC/trail runner, but am mostly doing road races these days (used to be fast, took a long hiatus, and am now trying to get back). I am a cat parent, and will likely continue to have cats (and dogs maybe) my entire life.

To be transparent, I was vegan for about a year, and then became vegetarian for 9 years (I had an eating disorder and needed to figure out if I was vegan for the animals or vegan just to restrict), and am now back to vegan now that I am in a much better headspace.

I am demiromantic and mostly asexual. No preference for gender. Open to friends, queer platonic relationships, or a partner 👀

What are some non-academic and non-industry (e.g. pharmaceutical and medical device companies) careers for PhDs in the biomedical sciences?

And if you work in a “non-traditional” career, what do you do and what made you choose it?

First half marathon in 9 years 😅 and I’m definitely not in the shape that I was back then (XC runner with high mileage). I PR’d at 1:30:36. I’m not expecting much tomorrow since I didn’t prep that much, but I’d still like to go sub-1:40. Hopefully.

I guess I’m just nervous because I don’t feel confident about this race like I had in the past when I was in race shape. At least this time I’ll have friends with me at the race.

Going to try to go to bed early tonight.

I feel like I’m going a little crazy. I know she doesn’t particularly like me, and she LOVES the other student. While some of her criticisms are valid, she also constantly calls me annoying for things that plenty of other students (and she does too, to be honest) do. One time she even brought up my weight and appearance (I’m female), which, um what?

My work is going fine, which she admitted to, though refuses to give legitimate compliments even when I do well. Which is fine I guess…but the tearing me down, double standards, and constant comparisons are making me dread coming into the office every day.

I know I marked this as Vent, but some advice is okay.

I’m so tired. Life has already felt too long. One day at a time though…