u/ForestOak777

To get a therapist you have to find one that is licensed in your state and also insured in your state. It doesn't matter if you're doing it virtually. For some reason they still need to fit the license of your state.

On top of that you need to find a therapist that specializes in what you're going through. Not every type of therapy works for everyone. As an autistic person CBT is not super effective for me.

Then you have to figure out if your insurance covers the provider that the therapist is being hosted on (for example, BetterHelp). Your insurance has to cover all of that and you're still going to have to pay a copay. If you're dealing with religious trauma you probably want a secular therapist, which is hard enough to find.

My brother has been harassing me about religion for over a year now and it was at its worst when my mental health was at its worst. I decided to leave Catholicism and when he found out he would yell at me, bang on my door, tell me that I'm going to hell, read scripture out loud, and do all these kinds of things. He was one of the reasons I became so religiously scrupulous in the first place.

Yesterday he sent me a message telling me to repent. This was after I sent him a video that I found funny on TikTok that had nothing to do with religion or politics or anything. Every single time I tell myself that I'm not going to talk to him again, but when I do, I always regret it. I feel like I have no choice but to keep talking to him because I live in the same house with my parents.

Anyway I responded angrily back to him and then he told my dad. I almost got yelled at by my dad but I stood up for myself. I remembered his harassment time and time again over the previous months, especially when I was at my lowest point in depression. The argument basically devolved. He said that people who have different opinions than the Catholic Church should be killed, like in medieval times. He had also said that all communists and leftists should be beheaded and said that I was both of those.

Finally he said that I was evil because I followed a transgender person on Substack, Devin Leahy. He said a bunch of other horrible things to me. There are too many things to list here and my thoughts are going to be disorganized but I just wanted to get it out there.

I've been doing DoorDash to try and make money but the cost of gas and food just completely eliminates everything I would make. Even doing it all day I get no profit. I had made a promise to my lending company to make my car payment in a week but that is definitely not going to happen.

I left my home because my mom was a narcissist and tortured me every day. This is the third time I've tried leaving home and I don't want to go back but I feel so trapped. I'm afraid to ask for financial help because I was always taught that it was very shameful and I'm afraid that it will cause my friends here to get angry at me.

It's not that I haven't been trying. I've been looking up so many different ways to make money but I feel like the only way I can make money realistically is through investing and eBay reselling. I need to have at least some money to start doing that and I just don't have anything. No matter how much I do on DoorDash I can't make it and I know that I'm not capable of doing a full-time job. I have autism and joint pain and I've had to leave every full-time job very quickly.

I keep running away from my problems but I know that I don't have the strength to work a regular job. I wish that I could be financially secure without sacrificing my soul and my mental health

I think that's the best we can do and then we can end the cycle of suffering.

I consider my cat Chrissy to be my daughter.

I feel like the most moral position you can have in this world is to be an antinatalist, especially since it doesn't seem like things will get better with any degree of certainty. I mean our world is run by the most evil and corrupt people and it seems like it's been that way for most of recorded history.

It doesn't seem like a very positive outlook but it is a certain way to prevent more suffering. I think that people who bring living beings into the world should be expected to provide for them their entire lives because they may not necessarily be able to generate profit. For example if they're disabled. But many people have children and don't consider what they would do if their child was disabled and that child ends up neglected and lacking support.

22M Autistic, college graduate in computer science. Diagnosed with OCD, GAD, and MDD.

I had a mental breakdown in my junior year of college. I called my mom and asked her to pick me up from school a week before it ended. She was very kind about it and was happy to pick me up, although she did make fun of my reasons for having a mental breakdown, provided little comfort to me, talked about herself for a few hours, and then criticized me for leaving my religion (which was the precise thing I had a mental breakdown over). On the surface it looked like she was an angel, coming in to save me from my broken self. But in reality, it was her way of getting greater control over me.

My anxiety did not get better upon returning home. At this point, I had no idea that my mom was a narcissist. But after going to therapy and reading some literature, I realized over a few months that she really was a narcissist. My suspicions were only confirmed when I tried talking to them about it.

ANYWAY. I digress. The real meat of the story is this:

After being constantly emotionally abused and gaslit, and after two failed attempts to leave and live away from my parents, I have moved away and am living with college friends. I know it's going to take a few weeks to recover but I already feel so much better now that I'm out. I literally had no will to live back home to the point where any work was impossible for me to do.

My friends and doctors helped me. Without them, I wouldn't have escaped. So if there's any lesson I've taken away from this it's to ask for help different sources.

Not open to advice. If you think you can offer me advice, remember that this post gets across a very, very, very small fraction of the situation and in no way provides enough context for advice.

I am so done with everything. Social security rejects 70% of disability applicants, and require 6-12 months and a lawyer if you want to appeal. I used to volunteer at a church and visited multiple homeless shelters to deliver food. Every one of them was dirty, smelled absolutely horrible and of drugs, had no privacy / space at all. Hell on earth. And when I called the only homeless shelter in my county when I thought my parents were going to kick me out they said they're full.

I drove over 8 hours in one day to get down to North Carolina and stay with my grandma, so that I could get away from my family that make me extremely depressed because they treat me so horribly and gaslight me every chance they get. Found out my Grandma has shown all the traits of being a manipulator. I felt so sick, I moved out to a hotel. Tried to start a business, and registered an LLC to provide local tech support. That was just a money drain. Then I lost my online job(s) doing contract work training AI. Now I have no income source, except maybe gig work. Was denied on every apartment application because I don't have enough proof of work/income. I literally cant work when with my parents or grandparents. They actively sabotage me and make me hate myself.

Btw I graduated from college (WVU) this year with a Bachelors in Computer Science. I only did it because I felt forced to. Now I won't be able to get a job in that field anyway because of AI :) I am disabled and get depressed when I work on computers. My dad lost his job and my parents made it clear that they were not going to renew me on their insurance (even though they were going to put their favorite child on it).

When I realized I would be homeless, I tried giving my cat to a shelter. I called everywhere I could but it all just went to machines. I drove to a place and was told that they were full.

Now I'm using the rest of my money to get camping supplies and go to public land. Hopefully I can pay off my car insurance and monthly payment by doing gig work, but idk what to do when it comes time to pay off my student loans. Maybe I just won't.

I feel so alone, sad, and tired.

I am so done with everything. Social security rejects 70% of disability applicants, and require 6-12 months and a lawyer if you want to appeal. I used to volunteer at a church and visited multiple homeless shelters to deliver food. Every one of them was dirty, smelled absolutely horrible and of drugs, had no privacy / space at all. Hell on earth. And when I called the only homeless shelter in my county when I thought my parents were going to kick me out they said they're full.

I drove over 8 hours in one day to get down to North Carolina and stay with my grandma, so that I could get away from my family that make me extremely depressed because they treat me so horribly and gaslight me every chance they get. Found out my Grandma has shown all the traits of being a manipulator. I felt so sick, I moved out to a hotel. Tried to start a business, and registered an LLC to provide local tech support. That was just a money drain. Then I lost my online job(s) doing contract work training AI. Now I have no income source, except maybe gig work. Was denied on every apartment application because I don't have enough proof of work/income. I literally cant work when with my parents or grandparents. They actively sabotage me and make me hate myself.

Btw I graduated from college (WVU) this year with a Bachelors in Computer Science. I only did it because I felt forced to. Now I won't be able to get a job in that field anyway because of AI :) I am disabled and get depressed when I work on computers. My dad lost his job and my parents made it clear that they were not going to renew me on their insurance (even though they were going to put their favorite child on it).

When I realized I would be homeless, I tried giving my cat to a shelter. I called everywhere I could but it all just went to machines. I drove to a place and was told that they were full.

Now I'm using the rest of my money to get camping supplies and go to public land. Hopefully I can pay off my car insurance and monthly payment by doing gig work, but idk what to do when it comes time to pay off my student loans. Maybe I just won't.

I feel so alone, sad, and tired.

Im writing this out of pure desperation and frustration. I have a narciccist mother and a dad who's an enabler.

Dad was laid off about a month ago and is on unemployment. Mom got a job so now she's out of the house during the day.

But I know the job she got was to punish herself in some weird way, it's some factory job. Which means stress for her, which means we're all going to have hell to pay.

I've left my old religion (Catholicism) because I was only in it because of fear. I've been in therapy for OCD, depression, and anxiety about a year.

Because of my Dad's layoff, we're losing our insurance and can't afford therapy without it.

Now to the reason I'm writing this:

I feel so stuck here and I hate every minute of it. I want to heal. ACA - Adult Children of Alchoholics and Dysfunctional Families has meetings daily that I would go to,

but at this point it just feels like im being punched in the face, reminded of how awful my situation is, every time i go.

I wanted to stay at one of my friends' houses a few hours away, but none of my old friends seem able to house me, even when I offered to pay rent.

I got a job as an AI trainer but I know it's not stable. Last time I did a job like this I spent a whole week's worth of work learning the system, only for the entire project to be shut down

before I could earn anything.

My plan is to get a car, and then to try again and see if anyone is able to house me in NJ, just until I can sign a lease. I plan to do side gigs like

Instacart and Amazon Flex to make enough money to get by until I can get my own tech support business off the ground.

I'm a 22M college graduate with a degree in Computer Science. I feel so humiliated and stuck right now. I'm regretting that I let myself be forced into going for that

degree because that's what my parents wanted me to do. But looking back, I had no other choice.

Every day I'm here feels like I'm being poisoned more and more. I watch videos by Dr. Ramani to help me cope but it's just a fucking nightmare. I'm on 60mg of Prozac and 7.5 mg of Remeron daily.

If it weren't for those, idk what i'd do.

I don't like software development. I just went through college because I was too weak to tell my parents that I didn't want to do that. But now it seems like

that doesn't matter, since AI is taking so many jobs.

I just want to get away. I'm not telling them any of my plans. I love my family but hate them at the same time and never want to see them again. That's what makes it so painful being with them every day. I know they'll never change and there's nothing I can do about it. it's like torture.

I don't want to take out a loan for a car because im already in a lot of student loan debt (which im afraid my parents are using to keep me financially bound to them). But i just want to leave right away.

I got a cat in college as my ESA. She's stuck in my room. My mom won't let it leave because shes afraid it will get "hair all over the house". She got a dog once I said I wanted to get a cat when I was still in college. Another reason the cat can't leave the room is because she's afraid it will scratch the dog.

I fucking hate my life and I need to escape this place, but I dont want to put myself in an even worse situation.

I know it seems like rambling but its the best i can do right now.