u/Forward_Radio_9538

Hi everybody. I’ve already raised this a couple of months ago with my psychiatrist but they basically told me to just wait for therapy. I’ve been struggling with BPD, depression, anxiety, OCD and CPSTD (crossover symptoms) for about 15 years so I know myself and my problems and my limits, but I only got help earlier this year.

I’ve been on quetiapine 30g XR and 50mg IR. While they feel like they’ve stopped my impulsiveness and sort of balanced me out, they aren’t controlling this particular anxiety at all. It’s a hopeless feeling, triggered occasionally. It’s so intense and usually when I split.

I’m still experiencing significant panic,
Depression ans hopelessness and it’s affecting my ability to function. I understand therapy is important but I’ve been waiting for 8 months, previously waited 1 year before they said I had to reapply, and the time before that they said I wasn’t ’bad’ enough, and have potentially another 6-8 months before I’m off the wait list. No work or income either so I cannot afford to go private. Tried headspace, exercise all of it.

SSRIs I tried in the past made me stuck in mania and numb. So far quetiapine is the closest thing to help, but it’s just not enough. Im really getting exhausted and the S. Ideation becomes more rational every tjme im in this state and I no longer feel fear at the thought, just relief.

Is there any medication anyone else takes? Something I can ask for just until I learn how to cope? I’ve tried walking, excessive sometimes exercise, hobbies etc, but nothing stops the feeling of impending doom and I always spiral back into isolation. I’ve told this to my psychiatrist a couple months ago and they advised breathing techniques. Tried it but it’s like my brain is set on one thing when I’m this overwhelmed. The only thing to stop it is s.h., but I’m trying to quit.

I only bring this up because I just don’t know who else to turn to. I feel so alone and like no matter how much I manage to ‘be better’, I’m overstaying my welcome and just making everything harder on myself by convincing myself I can be a normal person eventually. I think I’m just evil, like something just so much more weong with my brain than a mental illness.

I’m 27. I’m exhausted. My heart just hurts so much, even on a good day. I feel like I’m going through this torment , and I used to think I couldn’t hurt the people I love, but lately I find little reason to hold on, because if not wanting to experience this daily makes me weak and selfish, then maybe I am just weak, and selfish, but why do I have to continue to experience these feelings every day, just to prove I’m not those things? I don’t even know if I am capable of love really, or if I’m just lying to myself to give me excuses to hang around and prove I’m good.

Hi I’ve been taking 300mg XR and 50mg IR (before bed). I’m still spiralling though, still having mood swings and symptoms. Still split and want to **** myself.

I feel like I can still feel the intensity, panic attacks, self- harm. Please help me understand why?

It’s like the only difference now is I fall asleep better. And also, I can see my emotions change but still cannot manage them.

I’m in my late twenties and have been struggling with mental health for years. I got diagnosed this year and have been trying to get better. I’m off work sick, and in debt, and generally reached my low point, but I’m trying to get better.

One of the problems of my condition is impulsiveness. I’ve been working on it and trying to get better. I grew up in a controlling household, and always felt trapped.

My parent came home to surprise me with a pet hamster. I explicitly have said I’d never get a hamster again - At one point I had 8 a few years ago, trying to fill the void with animals. I was exhausted. I spent so much money I didn’t have on giving them huge cages. It was fun, but also such a responsibility.
To top it off, the poor thing is in one of those wire cages. As though my parent didn’t hear me at all, talking about why they were not good for them.

I love animals, but I already have a dog who’s a nightmare. For some reason, I’m feeling upset. Like I have no control over things and my life decisions and a hamster is just an added responsibility. I at least want to choose.

I mentioned, ‘you really should’ve asked me’, and they said I was ungrateful.

I think I’m feeling especially weird because I had a termination last year - there was too high of a risk to carry. I don’t have the heart to rehome it, and my parent will say I’ve wasted their money anyway. It just bothers me not having autonomy of my own choices.

To clarify, I’m in my late twenties. I moved back home 3 years ago after a bad relationship. I’m in debt, off sick work cos of my breakdown, and just want to put as little pressure on myself as possible.
Am I being dramatic? It’s hard to tell. But it pisses me off having choices made for me. I feel like if I rehome it, I’ll hate myself. It’s just bringing up a lot of feelings right now and I feel guilty.

Am I being a dick? I can’t give it up, so now I feel stuck with it, like I have to be compassionate or I’m just a monster

I don’t know if I’m just an imposter, dramatic, normal or al alcoholic. I’ve been working through the big book for a week. I understand the symptoms and the terms eg ‘allergy’ and how you have lack of control, but I guess I’m looking for a straight answer. I always think surely I’m not that bad but then something led me here.

Started sneaking alcohol to school to help me relax, around age 14. I was a good kid, shy, I just wanted to stop thinking so much and being so anxious. This didn’t last long, maybe a couple of months, and I never really got drunk.

17, got drunk for first time with my best friend in her house. Then I would ask my boyfriend to get alcohol. Again, no experience but just a fascination and curiosity it would calm my thoughts. He made me feel weird for wanting to drink so I just didn’t. I guess I cared more about him not thinking I was bad at the time.

20 years old, went out a few times. Got drunk, and felt carefree for once. Got sexually assaulted, but nothing major. I was sort of afraid of alcohol at this point because I didn’t know what to expect. Had a couple bad experiences drinking so just stopped, didn’t see the appeal.

21 yo, got drunk a couple of times. Had an appeal to it as just fun and helped me social. But then I got assaulted and hated it.

21-23 I smoked a lot of weed, became reliant on it. Couldn’t cope with my feelings. Relationship became abusive. We didn’t help each other.

24- got dumped, stopped smoking weed about 2 days after moving back into family home. Swore I wouldn’t do it again. Lost a family member and struggled with grief, started drinking in my room.

25 yo - worked and worked. Starting only looking forward to myself being drunk- that state of me was better than the normal me. I went out a few times, fucked up a job interview, got hurt by a couple people because I was black out. Rinse and repeat. Then stopped drinking again because I felt like I was stupid to keep getting myself in dangerous situations. Got drunk once more in that August, then quit.

Then that October, I went out properly. Got drunk, loved it. Had a great time. But then 3 weeks later that friend got a bf and had no interest. December I decided to go out on my own and try make friends.

26yo - Really lost it. Out 3-4 times a week, getting black out. Started seeing someone who became abusive. Had a health scare (unrelated). Promised I’d try stop. I kept breaking promises. Distress when not drinking. If I stopped for a week, I was exciting to reward myself because I proved I didn’t need to drink in my mind.

27 yo - got a diagnosis for mood disorder. cut back a lot. Then this past 6 weeks I went out maybe 4 out of 6 weekends. Only once a week, twice on one week. Then someone xlose to me called me out for lying- that it was my friend that wanted me out when in fact it was me.

Now, sober for exactly one week. Feeling weird and almost hungover? Like my body is so used to the up and down, and I don’t know. I’m convinced I’m fine in a way.

I’ve lost jobs because I was inconsistent, and hungover but also poor mental health.

Drinking makes me confident, anxiety goes away, depression goes away ans I stop thinking about trauma.

But the hangovers make me suicidal.

Is this an alcoholic pattern or just someone growing into adulthood with mental issues?

I’ve been going to AA for a week now

Hi. I went to my first meeting exactly a week ago and have gone almost every day. I felt better each time, reading through the book and working on Step One.

Thing is, I started contemplating the higher power part. Ended up thinking maybe if I go to church, that will resonate with me. I went, felt completely judged and hated it.

Now my mind is convincing me that I’m just a sucker and have no idea who I am, and now I’m connecting AA to religion and it makes me feel weak, angry and stupid.

I’m torn. Is it normal to feel like this? I’m a week sober exactly today and really want a damn drink.

How do you tell if it’s your BPD making you think the worst case scenario re abandonment issues or if you genuinely have a bad gut feeling about something ? For example, someone hating you, using you, etc?

I’m really struggling these last few days. SHmed. My FP said I was too much for them. I can feel them pulling away from me. I feel exhausted. Went to AA meeting. I’m feeling disconnected from myself. Suicidal thoughts consistent. I’m taking my meds though.

I’m trying to find support groups in person for people with BPD or CPTSD. I feel so alone.

I’ve struggled on and off for a few years but these last 2 were rough. Ruined so much, lost so many opportunities and people.

Today, after always ended up looking at AA for the past year, I finally just went.

I was terrified, but I did it. Met a few people. I got my first chip for 24 hours.

It was strange. I got emotional throughout. I even convinced myself I didn’t have a problem for the first half. Idk why I’m typing this, I guess I just wanted to share.

Hi for anyone studying or has studied the Primary Educetion Studies Q24 degree - which modules did you find were the easiest or most fun for year 2 and 3?

Hi all! I got my report through the post.

The report says 18 month review recommended,
But the award letter says 4 years.

Which one would it be, please?

I have a 6 1/2 year old tweenie dachshund. She needs to lose a little more weight, maybe another couple of kilos ideally.

Looking for suggestions on food. Recently, she’s been having whatever I can find. Can you share opinions on these please?

Biggest things are cost, quality and convenience.

I take her on 3x 30 min walks every day, using her kibble for meals on the walk as treats.

If I switch over to a wet/ fresh food, happy to work out how much she’d have.

Different dog? - never tried

Butternut box? - she liked this, but got bored a few years ago. also read online people saying it made their dogs ill and pouches under their weight. it also looks more expensive now.

Pure pet food- her favourite I think- but I’m not sure on the quality doesn’t seem too great.

Bella and duke - might stay away from raw food, unless you have any good stories?

Tails - convenient and good split 50/50 for wet and dry. But not sure the quality is legit. I know someone who worked there previously and said it was just general kibble portioned out.

Any advice or suggestions appreciated thank you

Hi all. I was diagnosed in March with BPD and CPTSD. I’ve been on a wait list for DBT therapy. I have just received an appointment for an individual psychology assessment.

I’m unsure of what to expect. They have all my medical notes from my psychiatrist and GP, detailing my disorder.

Has anyone had this? I believe I need to do it to access DBT but I’m feeling on edge.

Hi all. I was diagnosed in March with BPD and CPTSD.

I’ve been on a wait list for DBT therapy. I have just received an appointment for an individual psychology assessment.

I’m unsure of what to expect. They have all my medical notes from my psychiatrist and GP, detailing my disorder.

Has anyone had this? I believe I need to do it to access DBT but I’m unsure what to expect.

Hi all. I was recently awarded PIP. My first time doing this so I’m quite new to it all.

I submitted all the evidence I could, backdating to medical history in 2018.

How do reviews work when the time comes? I’m not sure if I’d still be in such a bad state, hopefully my health will improve by then.

I’m awarded until 2030. Will they review me earlier than this- do I have to do anything every few months etc?

Thanks for any insight to the process

Hi everyone. I keep seeing lots of post about weight gain. It’s making me uneasy.

I’m 5ft3, and 27 years old. I was 64kg in December, went into depression, and then was 51kg in April. In May I started taking seroquel. Messed around with the dose a bit, up and down.

Now I’m 58-60kg. I’m torn because I feel better in myself, I’m being more active, I’m eating again but eating well. I’m a vegetarian so most of my meals are vegetables and eggs.

I had a bit of an eating disorder (purging) on and off for the past two years. I haven’t done that in maybe a month now and trying not to.

Thing is, how do I know if this is good weight/muscle? Or if I’m simply not doing enough. I aimed for 10K steps and strength workouts but admittedly haven’t had the motivation to push the strength workouts to failure.

I want to put my mental health first, but I was 14.7 stone back in 2023, and I really don’t want to gain the weight back. It made me so depressed, no self esteem. Thing is, if I stop the medication, my life crumbles. It’s the only thing that has brought me peace and helped my moods balance.

I’m not sure what to do - has anyone got experience with this? I also fast every day until 6/8pm.

I usually have 2-3 eggs, broccoli, peas, spinach or kale. Then sometimes I’ll add in something quorn for extra protein and satiation.

When I was my smallest, I was eating maybe once a day, something like an egg and bread. I was also depressed so sleeping most of the time, I didn’t want to be awake and feeling. I wasn’t even drinking water whereas now I aim for 2litres a day. I feel like I have to choose between my body and my brain. Should I invest in a PT or something? Or just cold-turkey the medication? I don’t want to mess up my metabolism and i definitely feel better on it, but I’m so scared.

I’m on 300mg XR and 50mg IR, every night. I have control of the munchies - I just have my meal then if I’m still hungry I’ll have fruit or weetabix. I don’t eat pasta, snacks, biscuits or potatoes. I feel like I can’t cut much more out - maybe the bread and eggs?

Hi everyone. I’ve been on SSP since February. My SSP runs out in August, but I’m thinking of trying to return to work on a phased return. It would only be for a few hours to start with every week.

I’ve been waiting for my work capability assessment results but it’s still in review. I’m just wondering, if I try to go back, will they just dismiss it? I’m not sure how I’ll cope or if I’m ready, I’m just feeling the pressure to return in case they say I do need to work and this job lets me go and I struggle to find something suitable.

Any advice please

Hi all. I’ve been unfit for work for almost six months now due to a mental disorder. I’m still employed and thinking it’s time to try to go back.

I have an occupational health review coming up soon. I had one a few months ago and they agreed I was not fit for work. Now, I feel the pressure because I don’t want my job to let me go.

My condition is so unpredictable and has been for 10+ years. I would go from above and beyond for a few weeks, then I crash and mess it all up. The pattern has been that I quit my job every 3-6 months when I go into a depressive state and then find a new one when I switch. I really want to prove to myself I am capable now with the help I’ve been getting.

I’m on medication, which took a while to find an effective combination of, but now I’m riddling with anxiety that I’ll inevitably get overwhelmed if it turns out I’m just going into my hypomania phase and I’m not actually ready. My main issue is consistency and criticism and messing up, and also feeling too restricted. I feel like I get exhausted easily, but I’m unsure if that’s just a side effect of the medication.

Can anyone help suggest any reasonable adjustments that helped them return to work? I’ve already asked for more routine - having lunch at the same time every day. I’m not sure what else I can ask for though, without it looking like I just want things easy. My goal is to find balance this year - not being too high or too low.

For context my job is remote most of the time (which helps and I’m very grateful for) and customer service. It’s usually half the day taking phone calls back to back and the other half handling written communication. I did request having it set the same every day (calls in morning, written in the afternoon), but they said they don’t think they can accommodate this. It’s a very call centre feel with majority of calls being complaints.

I’m also still on a waitlist for DBT therapy, so in the meantime, I just have to stay calm and not trigger myself.

Any advice appreciated.

Hi all. I’ve been unfit for work for almost six months now. I’m still employed and thinking it’s time to try to go back.

I have an occupational health review coming up soon. I had one a few months ago and they agreed I was not fit for work. Now, I feel the pressure because I don’t want my job to let me go.

My condition is so unpredictable and has been for 10+ years. I would go from above and beyond for a few weeks, then I crash and mess it all up. The pattern has been that I quit my job every 3-6 months when I go into a depressive state, so I really want to prove to myself I am capable.

I’m on medication, which took a while to find an effective combination of, but now I’m riddling with anxiety that I’ll inevitably get overwhelmed if it turns out I’m just going into my hypomania phase and I’m not actually ready. My main issue is consistency and criticism and messing up, and also feeling too restricted. I feel like I get exhausted easily, but I’m unsure if that’s just a side effect of the medication.

Can anyone help suggest any reasonable adjustments that helped them return to work? I’ve already asked for more routine - having lunch at the same time every day. I’m not sure what else I can ask for though, without it looking like I just want things easy.

For context my job is remote most of the time (which helps and I’m very grateful for) and customer service. It’s usually half the day taking phone calls back to back and the other half handling written communication. I did request having it set the same every day (calls in morning, written in the afternoon), but they said they don’t think they can accommodate this. It’s a very call centre feel with majority of calls being complaints.

I’m also still on a waitlist for DBT therapy, so in the meantime, I just have to stay calm and not trigger myself.

Any advice appreciated.

I see a lot of negative experiences on here about trying to get PIP for mental health, so I’d like to share mine to give anyone waiting some hope. 🙂

On April 30th, I submitted the online form for my diagnosis of EUPD and CPTSD.

Over the next three weeks I submitted as much evidence as I could. This included fit notes, my occupational health report, my full medical history and details of the medication I'm taking. I also submitted a word document detailing more in-depth how my condition affects me with real-life examples.

End of June I received a text saying ‘A health professional is looking at your PIP claim. They will contact you with an appointment if they need to. You only need to contact us if your circumstances change.’

On July 6th I had a telephone appointment. It lasted about 30 minutes. The lady was very patient, kind and empathetic. I was completely honest and open about my struggles, and she didn't sound judgemental at all. She ended the call, making sure I was okay.

Later that day I received a text saying 'We've received the written report of your PIP assessment. We will write to you once we've made a decision on your PIP. As a guide you should hear from us within 8 weeks. You don't need to contact us unless any of the details you gave us have changed.'

A couple of days later I followed the advice on Reddit and called the PIP helpline to ask for my written report. They said they would send it in the post and it should arrive within a week.

On July 16th I received a text saying 'We have awarded you PIP. We have sent you a decision letter explaining the award. Please allow 2 weeks to receive this. You only need to contact us if your circumstances change.'

The text didn't state the details of my PIP, so I logged into the Proof Of Benefits website, and downloaded the PDF letter. The letter showed my award and the length. They said they are going to pay me the backdated claim amount within the next 5 days.

The details of the PIP report will be in the letter I get through the post so I can see what points I got for each section.

I feel like they looked after me really well. All of my interactions were calm and respectful even through the uncomfortable call when I was so afraid of triggering myself.

In total, it took about 6 weeks from application to award. I did also upload a LOT of evidence though, so the call was mostly just asking me for examples, and clarifying some parts, for example, how I handle public transport and if I ever avoid doing basic things due to fear of getting distressed.

If anyone has any questions, I'm happy to answer.