u/FrozenHimbeer

I am a woman from an EU country having a relationship with an ukranian man and we both live in other foreign country (Germany). we communicate in English.

Basically I am very isolate here because in my country we are not so close each other when we live abroad, having german friends cost more time and patience, I had but some of them moved out to other cities, hanging out with coworkers in my case is not an option either like foreigns who work in some companies like IT. Not my case.

In my case making friends with men in this country is quite hard because all the male interactions ended up in missunderstood. They want always something physical with me. Not matter if I have bf or not. .So all my close friends are woman and mostly foreigns from different countries. Recently got friend from similar motherlanguage. But we are not so close just go to pilates together.

Mostly of the friends of my boyfriend are ukranian /russian speakers and mostly women and very attractive women, a lot of them single.

I had interest in slavics / russian language in the past because in 2004 I had some friends russian speakers but never the oportunity to learn it, I have a lot of pressure with german (work in German and for them you wont never speak properly not matter if you are attending 1000 curses and you have C2) and English (for socializing). So not so much place in my brain and energy to learn other 2 languages.

In shortly:

He has easy access to friendships, mostly new female friends, through his community, ukranians add easilierr other ukranians. And he is kind and alwasy doing a lot of favours to all this women (for me a bit cultural shock because nobody cares about me, I did a lot of things alone like painting my whole appartament alone in 2 days) . If I meet randomly persons from my country they ignore me or say me that they know enough people and want to speak English /German. Or with the men... the sex stuff again.....

He prefers to hang out alone with people from his country and I respect that he has his own space but it is a bit annoying for me and I feel me like dummy... he increased his friendship circle every time with new female friendships while I am hanging out with girls and dealing with thirsty men..... That makes him having a lot of options passively.

I wanted to break up with him due to that because I feel me like the dummy wester woman. And I feel that he got more attention of women since he has girlfriend.

Last time I agreed to go with him and some of his friends because I know one of his close friends who sometiomes speaks with me in German and seams happy to see me but there were 3 women (so all of them ukranians except me) and I dont know. I was there isolate. The women spoke russian, the friend ukranian and my boyfriend a mix so I am not so motivated to learn any language you can not learn 2 languages who sounds sometimes similar and sometimes not at the same time as a non slavic person.

I wanted to ask if some woman had the same experience and how to deal with that. Or it is better just to break up and try to find other guy with similar circunstances like me.

I feel me like a placeholder. I dont understand why is he with me...maybe only due to physical attraction and with the others such things are hard to get I dont know, , he could choose better women than me, younger, with more common interest that I dont have but they have with him (climbing, running, SUP Padel Boarding), he has access to meet actively a lot of women from his country, while me any interaction with a man is a missunderstood and I am not a model, ist just that the men here are quite desperately to get something physical asap.

Can someone tell me with apps do you use to find events? I would like to attend there to language exchange cafes or outdoor Yoga events.

I paid long time ago 10 euros, but I checked two places and prices around 15 euros plus shoes 4 euros.

Because those shampoos are quite expensive. I live in Berlin where the water is hard and I am concern about losing hair density. Since I live here I lost 1/3 my density due to some reasons. Installing a water soaftener filter is not an option.

Those who tried those shampoos, did you see improvement?

I ve already given up. No more anticonception anti androgenic, no more minoxidil. I ve lost two third of my hair in the last 4 years and i didnt see any improvement. They growth a bit and suddently on the floor again.... . I dont want to fight.

Going to the hair salon is humilliating. I cut the hair myself. 180 bucks for highlights to hide optically the bald patches on the white scalp, 80 euros just cut, wash and dry and they expects tips... I dont know why they charge more if you have long hair but they dont care about density.

I think it is the time... and I am considering to get a tatoo on my head.

I tried even PRP, empty promises, money in the trash.

I ve already given up. No more hormones, no more minoxidil. I ve lost two third of my hair. I dont want to fight.

Going to the hair salon is humilliating.

I think is the time... and I am considering to get a tatoo on my head.

I am using bonnet silk since some weeks. I am not sure if it helps, but my hair is less grasy.

Do you notice that your hair is going better?

I took the pill 16 years. I stopped 5 months ago because some reasons like yeast infections, dryness the last months. After stopping the pill all this infections went gone.

I have my period regular despite of not taking the pill. about if I am ovulating I dont have any clue. this urine strips doesnt seam to be reliable and I am not traking my temperature

I have VHP 18 positive since 2 years. I am using condon since I know that I have that shit (they didnt inform me the first year).

I did STD test and clear. No pain or blood after sex no weird discharge

They sent me to colposcopy due to the VHP 18 positive twice. I could see my own cervix in a display and my cervix is pale pink with a dark pink portion inside. I got scared because I thought that is not normal and the doctor didnt want to give me explanations she just told me "in your case probably it would be everything fine wait to the results"

So I have the results and I dont have cancer lesions but I have cervicitis.

Is the virus doing me that , the condoms? Can I do something to reduce the inflamation?

The only weird symptom I have is huge belly, but I dealed with that in the past and managed to struggle avoiding gluten but now is very annoying I have huge belly since I did that colcoscopy but I also ate in restaurants so I need to check 7 days gluten free 100% to know if I will improve or not. . It is related with cervicitis ? I dont have fieber, any pain.

they wrote in the results that I need to do pap smears and colposcopies regularly but anything about if I need to treat cervicitis or not

It is normal to have inflamation and that they dont care about it?

It seams that all companies are using the same connection. I only have cabel at home and yesterday 4 hours without internet (in working hours) and today again the same...I am using a portable router they sent me last year where I spent 5 days without internet.

I know that if I change, I would have similar problems but my question is if it is worthy because I may would pay less money for the same s service.. I am paying now 35 euros for 100 mb.

I tried to ask to my coworkers and neighboors but they dont share information about. So I decided to try my luck here.

I think I have some food intolerances but I dont know exaclty what. I avoid gluten but I think I have more issues. I can not eat lentils or I would get pain,

I checked some months ago doctolib and yesterday again. There are any gastroenterologist public insurance just to have a consultation.

Does anybody know in case that you need a doctor, and you ended up in the private one, if you get the money back from your public insurance in that case?

I am not so screwed up to go to hospital but I am scared about what to eat, because last time I was 4 days with a huge belly and pain all the time.

I got an appointment last year , I waited 6 months, the day came....and the doctor was sick. So they cancelled the appointment and told me that not posibble for new patients. So I dont know. It is also the same with other specialist?

Ich habe einen intensive Deutschkurs absolviert daher habe ich eine Teilnahmebestätigung erhalten. In der Teilnahmebestätigung steht:

."....hat den Kurst mit gutem Erfolg besucht"

Über die Teilnahme steht 50 von 50, gut. weil zwei Tage etwas später zum Kurs gekommen bin (Ich war zu einer Untersuchung im Krankenhaus und ging mir nicht so gut).

Was bedeutet diese Bewertungskala, welche Kriterien werden benutzt? Ich war da aktiv, ich habe die Hausaufgabe erledigt, ich habe 90% Wörte verstanden also viele Übungen waren für mich langweilig, der Lehrer hat sogar gesagt, dass ich eher Phonetik verbessern muss. Daher warum nicht mit sehr gutem Efolg? Phonetik war nicht Teil von dem Kurs.

Ich muss meinen Vorgesetzt die Teilnahmebescheinigung schicken.

I am 36 F chained in Germany. EU citizen. I dont like to live here, and also dont like to live in my country. I never had support any kind there. That is the reason I moved to Germany. Moved back is not an option.

I moved traumatized here and it doesnt help that nurse in Germany is so degradating. So I got adicted to prescribed stimulants to be able to work and worked 3 years in hospitals and the rest of years I am working as a customer service. I am clean since more than 2 years. My German is pretty decent but my company doesnt support me to get other education or learning languages and my company will dissappear in some years so I am so scared to work again here in a hospital. i dont have the strenth to study.

I know I dont have the best formation. And I didnt study all this years because I was traumatized and sad. I was 6 years with a asexual german boyfriend the only who wanted commitment because the others were disrespectful with me and he didnt want to touch me the last 4 years so I got very sick and my selfsteem was down. I managed to put a end and because he didnt want to let me go, he never supported me. The last 3 years I am living a normal life more or less, trying to socializing, but I got rappd in 2024 (that was a huge impact because my selfsteem was so down and I realized in a bad way that I am pretty and I need to be careful with strangers. and he did that in dayligh so I am living in a society who nobody cares if someone transport you in front of everybody while you are K.O. So I can not see local men any more. I am fine. But that experience make me hard to travel alone and to explore other countries to make easier the decision to go out of here.

I am living since 10 years in Germany and I just I am tired to be here. Tired of the locals, tired of weird stuff. I am not the only want who are tired of see so much dangerous person on the street, weird stuff tolerated. I can not imagine to have kids here.

I found a decent guy last year he is 38 but he has passport issues and doenst seam to have interest to marry me or to make me kids. He is now saving money to go to Asia in the winter months so I will be here alone... And I am tired to be with men who have other priorities in life and make me waste my time. It will be hard get other man like him in this city but I hope to find more like him abroad. It is hard to write that.

I was thinking about moving out and try to start a new life alone, but I dont see that idea as posible and if my experiment goes wrong I dont have any place to go back. I dont have any home. I dont know which country to choose. I dont know anything I get overhelmed and sad.

Subletting my appartment wont be legal. Buying and appartment where? I am not sure if I is a risk to do that earning average salary.

I dont know what to do but I dont want to live here. I dont want to achieve 40 without kids and living here .

Update:

I dont have any place to go, any famiy support so maybe I forget that normal people have that. I dont know.

I spoke with him and he told me that he doenst like to be here in winter and that he would prefer to go to his country but he can not , so he will try to go to Asia and that problably is the last year he can travel because he is pesimistic related his situation. And I asked him if he thinks that I am happy also here and I also asked him, in case that this travels will turn regularly why is he with me and why doesnt try to get one of his female empowered female friends from her country who had business and travel everywhere becasue I can not work remotely and I am not high qualificated like them. He didnt answer to that question. He just asked what he is doing wrong and why I think that I am a placeholder. It is like speaking with a wall.

I want a man more with the feet in the earth, sporty and who wants commitment. I feel atracted to men who looks like bouncers or who are strong because living in Berlin makes me feel very vulnerable. I dont want to experience again to be with a man who started to cry and ghosted me 1 week yelling at me that I am making him depressing after telling him that a random crazy dude kiked me randomly on my back and I had pain for some days, that happened while I was on my way to supermark. He also got overhelmed and left me alone painting the whole appartement. And tons of this experiences.

Tired of zero male support. My boyfriend at least is a strong man very different of that previous man but it seams that he doesnt want me

I have been using urine test strips to checkt if I am ovulation. two different brandes (not the ones of famous brand, but I am using the famous tracking app).

They keep coming back negative. I am using condom. I mean I stopped the pill due to so much years and extremely dryness and all the time candidas. Now I am better.

I think that in the remote past my period was every 28-32 days.

With the pill 24-28.

The first month without the pill I bleeded twice, but after that regularly every 21 days. So shorter periods.

The point is, on Friday (according to the tracking app, would be my fertile days), saturday and also this morning I was crying and depressing all the time. I didnt experience so much sadness in long time......

A few months ago I though that the cloths I found in the boyfriends appartment were from a girl, but not they were old cloths of him when he was 70 kg . So I freaked out and then I was very embarrassed.

I dont know what is wrong with me. But it is like I am crazy 2 days every 2 months.

Am I ovulating ? this urine test are useless? Can be my crazyness related with ovulation or related with hormon disbalance?

About my hair well I am losing hair but not so faster like when I was taking levonorgestrel. I took 13 years drospirenone. I always had fine hair but I had pretty much quantity in my 20s. Due to extreme constipation changed to levonorgestrel. Nobody tooks me serious and after 2 years I investage and realized that 1/3 less hair was due to that pill. I asked a doctor (who didnt have any clue aparently) to prescribe me drospirenone again. And the hairlos stop inmediately but I never recovered my hair. So I am afraid to lose more hair. I am using a bonnet to avoid brekage. But bonnet can not avoid hormon disbalance.....

About the constipation I am still with issues. trying chia seeds now and more or less ok.

I dont want to spend so much money and I found a language school in my city who bring you to other language school in Riga. I am not sure if go there and sleep in the school or to go there but sleep in a hotel because I also would like to explore the baltic see.

But I checked hotels for August and 120 euros night ........

And also someone told me that is not a good idea go there to learn russian.

Other question is if I can find easily food without wheat. Sorry for being so ignorant. If your gastronomy is more or less similar to polish one (meat plus potatoes easy to find). I am not expecting glutenfree stuff because I live in a first world country and here is imposible to find something like these...

Do you contract your muscles when you want to achieve orgasm or not? With contracting muscles I am meaning vagina and maybe legs.

I dont know exactly what I am supposed to do it. If I relax completely, sometiomes I dont feel anything . If I contract but relax too soon (hard to know) I feel relaxation but not orgasm. If I contract the whole time is like a workout, I ended up exhausting sometiomes or I make hard to my partner to hold out.

I only managed to have an orgasm with 36 with my boyfriend with penetration (without clit stimulation) by stadding him while he was half sitting up. And after a long time. And after a lot of communication moving him and explaining him how to sit etc....

On another ocassion I achieved orgasm because I touched myself at the same time but it is very hard this sincronisation because my vagina put him outside completely

In general I have orgasm if the touchs me (previously or after sex). Luckily my boyfriend lernt and really likes my body. Because unfortunately I kissed a lot of frogs before to find the prince (in all senses, my boyfriend very decent person is not only sex), I had relations with men who barely touched me or were irritated calling me weirdo for trying to experiment myself what is better for me.

If squeezing and contracting is the key, do you use pelvic floor exercises to strengthen your muslces? I suffer from constipation since years and chronic sacral pain since 3 years. I dont know it that is preventing me to having orgasm. Because sometiomes I feel "the point" but my boyfriend with penetration is unable to reach 100% or sometiomes I feel that I only have sensibility in the right side of my clith but not in the other parts.

Is silke London really a bonnet made aus silk or not? I am using the bonnet since 5 days and what I notice is that my hair is not soo grassy.

I also would like to know which products to detangle (avaiable in Europa, Germany) do you use? because I have some highlights and that part of hair sometimes is really hard to detangle and I dont know how to untie those knots. I asked my hairdresser and she told me that with moisture and conditioner should be enough. I tried some detangle sprays and I am not happy.

Do you detangle your hair when your hair is completely dry or not?

I am doing a intensive german course (I wanted English, but anyway.. so sorry if you can not read this post properly). I started monday and I was with very nice chill people there but the level was too low for me so I changed the group on tuesday in the break time.

I went to the new class to put the new book on the table and to go out again 20 min. Inside the class there were two persons, a french dude and an old woman. She asked me a lot of questions in german so I thought she would be the teacher. But not, she was not the teacher. She is from same country, same city as me.

She insisted that I should sit next to her, but I was more in the mood, to put the book on the table and go outside, spend the break time outside. I approached her because she insisted that I should sit next to her, and she said me in my language "I dont want that you are here" with threatening tone. I just wtf? and stayed chill and put the book on the f.. table and went outside.

I went back 15 min later and decided to sit with two guys on the table on the other corner far away from that old woman.

This days were chill, I avoid her.

Yesterday I went to the class, she was there sitting in the table where I usually was sitting. she was there alone with the french dude again.

I just chose the farthes table again, and she started to speak in my language "do you usually sit here or not?" twice, I just ignored her, "hey??? I am speaking with you?" and me "whatt????" and she "how long are you living in Berlin?" and I answered in German "Why do you want to know that? you told me that you dont want to see me here, so let me alone" the french dude interrupted "probably misunderstanding " and the old woman again in my language " noo I didnt mind that, you understood me wrong".

After doing a speak exercise a dude ended up asking me where is my bf from.. I just didnt answer. I really miss the first group, but it is too late to change back.

Well fortunately is a short course and I will survive, but wtf the people here. They behave like they can ask you or treat you like shit and they surprise if you dont answer or you get upset. wtf?

https://preview.redd.it/xx1b1vmop98h1.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05031ff3432512b842a39bc4d44370cabfe04ee0

I am based in Germany. I am tired of the solo experience. I achieved to play last year with some people I got randomly after some parties, but they are not active at all any more. I speak English and German, both languages bad but I would also try to improve my languages makes the experience more realistic 😆

I dont care about age, I just want good vibes.