u/Fun_Structure_1416

My first post was much more vague/general, so that was my fault. Now that I have a better idea of where I’ll be working and what I’m looking for, I’d really appreciate more specific recommendations.

I’m a 27-year-old single woman moving to Detroit for work. My office will be in the downtown/Financial District area of Detroit, and I’ll most likely be driving to work.

Ideally, I’d like my commute to be under ~30 minutes, but I’m happy to drive a little farther if the area is really worth it.

What I’m looking for:
Safety is my #1 priority, especially as a single woman living alone.
Quiet, peaceful, residential surroundings.
Close to nature, parks, trails, lakes, greenery, etc.
I love charming suburbs with a strong sense of community and character.

I’m not particularly concerned about rent. I’d rather pay more to live somewhere I genuinely love than choose somewhere cheaper that I don’t enjoy.

I’m also open to some city/urban vibes. I don’t need to be completely suburban if the area is safe and peaceful.

The vibe I’m imagining is basically Stars Hollow from Gilmore Girls 😂, charming, cozy, green, peaceful, with cute little downtown areas and a strong community feel. I know it’s fictional, but I’m looking for that kind of Connecticut/New England feeling. At the same time, I wouldn’t mind having some city energy nearby.

One other factor: I’m not white, so I’d ideally like somewhere that feels welcoming and comfortable for someone from a different background. I’m trying to find the balance between diversity/inclusivity and safety. If I absolutely had to prioritize, I would choose an area that is less diverse over somewhere I don’t feel safe, but ideally I’d love to find somewhere that gives me both.

So for people who actually know the Detroit area:
Where would you recommend I look? Which suburbs/neighborhoods would fit this lifestyle? And are there any areas you would specifically avoid?

I’d especially love recommendations from women who live alone or people who have moved to the Detroit area from somewhere else and had to figure this out themselves.

Thank you!

Ive only been to dc and hartford CT, and NYC. How is live in Detroit? I am a 27 yo women, living alone.

Id appreciate any pov!

وين اقدر اشتري عود كويس جديد
واي نوع كويس؟
وكيف اتعلم اعزف؟

I’m currently with KPMG Middle East and am interested in eventually relocating to the US permanently and continuing my career with KPMG US or another Big Four firm.

A bit about my background:
- CPA qualified
- 6+ years of professional experience
- Currently working as a Manager at KPMG Middle East

I’m not looking for a short-term rotation or temporary assignment. My goal would be to make a permanent move and eventually be employed by a US-based Big Four firm.

For anyone who has gone through this, especially from KPMG Middle East or another KPMG member firm, how realistic is this? What is the usual process? Would I need to apply for a position with the US office or another Big Four firm directly, or are there internal mobility or transfer routes available?

I’m also curious about how the immigration side typically works. Would a US firm sponsor an employment-based visa for an experienced CPA transferring from another Big Four member firm, or could an L-1 visa potentially be an option?

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has made a similar move, particularly how you approached the US office or another Big Four firm and what ultimately made the transfer possible.

ابحث عن رجل يرى المرأة شريك له بالكوكب وليست مسخرة لخدمته واقل منه ولها حرية اقل منه سواء بالفكر او المظهر. بحكم عملي اسافر واروح واجي وقابلت كثييييير كذا وهذا الستاندرد عندهم بدول زي امريكا وبعض دول اوروبا، لكن احس ما ابي استقر مع شخص برا ثقافتي تماما؟

لكن الرجال اللي قابلتهم هنا مهما ابدوا لك التفتح والتحضر يصدمك بتعليق خاطف عن كيف انه (يسمح لاخته تكشف شعرها) عشان يحاول يستميلك وهو ما يدري انه عطاك اقوى ick لان اولا تحسينه ديو* وثانيا يكشف عقله كيف شايف شعر اخته تحت تحكمه. هذا فيض من غيض، او غيض من فيض؟

عموما قد ما اني مثقفة واحب الادب الانجليزي والروسي وعشت فترات هنا وهناك وتعرفت على ناس بتشى الخلفيات، وانوي اكمال ذلك، الا انه اذا جا وقت شخص يشاركني حياتي الصدق افضل احد من نجد. ولا هي عنصرية بس احس هذا اللي بتركيبي الجيني، هذا التايب حقي، هذا ما لا املك فلا تلوموني عليه.

ولا تفهموني غلط احب الادب العربي من الجاهلية الى الادب المعاصر، واحفظ قصائد كثير واحب اللغة العربية رغم اني اتحدث لغات اخرى الا انها تضل رقم ١ وربما لانها لغتي الام. عموما مابي اطلع من الموضوع، لان believe it or not لسا ما خلصته.

الان العقبة الثانية بعد التفكير والعقلية، المادية. ولما كنت اصغر كنت مثالية ومتاثره بكارل ماركوس لكن الان استوعبت الفلوس تفرق، وادري هذا مو محور حديث ماركس لكن افهموني، انا كنت احس عادي اتزوج شخص اقل مني مادية لين كبرت واستوعبت انه ما ينفع، مو انه احتقار، لكن فعلا ما ينفع. وحتى بالمرات اللي حاولت اسوي استثناء لشخص، هو بنفسه شافني اشتري هدية زفاف صديقتي من محل غالي ولما عرف سعر القطعة قالي شوفي احنا واضح من different tax brackets وماقصر حاول يلطف الجو لان وقتها احتريت مره واحس تفشلت عنه، لكن كان رجال ومشى باحترام. والصدق المفروض ما اخجل من وضعي المادي! كفايه خجلت منه كثير وانا صغيره لما كنا تحت خط الفقر، الان بفخر باللي وصلت له بفضل الله ثم جهدي. محد ساعدني لا اهل ولا غيره. الدولة بس اللي ما قصرت درستني مجانا وبعدها انا شلت نفسي وجبت شهادات بمجالي وتطورت لين وصلتي للي وصلته. املك مسكني واملك سيارة وعندي دخل كافي اسافر متى ما بغيت، ليه اتنازل لمستوى معيشي اقل عشان رجل؟ هذا اذا تجاوز اول عقبة اصلا!

وبنفس الوقت اشعر بالوحدة، اتطلع للارتباط العاطفي والسكون. اذا اكملت القراءة للان، اهنيك! وانتظر رايك بمعضلتي. وشكرًا ؛)

* تنويه،** من حلف فصدقوه صح؟ والله العظيم اني ما كذبت بحرف أعلاه.**

I’m a middle Eastern woman and lately I’ve been thinking more seriously about dating someone from the US. I’ve always loved American culture. I grew up around it and I’ve visited the US quite a few times so it never really felt foreign to me. If anything I’ve always felt more comfortable with the culture there and especially with the way people generally approach dating and relationships.

I actually met an amazing guy on my last trip to New York. We really hit it off and I genuinely liked him. The only issue was that he was still a senior in college while I’m already pretty advanced in my career so we were just at very different stages of life. He actually brought it up first and honestly I was relieved because I had been thinking about the same thing. So that was that.

But it did make me think that maybe I should actually be open to meeting someone from the US!

The funny thing is that people might assume the reason I don’t want to date someone from the Middle East or Saudi Arabia in specific, is the whole family background thing. And yes that is definitely a thing here. Even if you’re Saudi people can still dig into your roots and what family you come from and who your relatives are etc.

But honestly that’s not even the main reason for me. It’s more the deeply rooted misogyny that I feel is still present in the culture. I know there are plenty of misogynistic men in the Western world too and obviously there are exceptions everywhere. I’m not naive enough to think American men are somehow universally better. I just feel like life is too short to spend it searching for the exception when I already know what kind of culture and relationship dynamic I’m more comfortable with. I would rather be somewhere where the baseline is closer to what I’m looking for instead of having to constantly explain why certain things should be different.

As for me I’m 5’5” and around 121 lbs. I’d say I’m conventionally attractive but obviously that’s subjective and ultimately a matter of taste. I’m also pretty established in my career so I’m not looking for someone to financially support me or anything like that. I’m just looking for someone I actually connect with who happens to share the kind of outlook on relationships that I do.

So I guess my question is how would you actually approach this?

For those of you who have dated someone from another country or met your partner while traveling what worked for you? Is there a better way to meet people in the US when you don’t actually live there? Should I just let it happen naturally when I travel or are there specific places or communities where you think I’d have better luck?

باستثناء معالج واحد متخصص بالقياسات، لما سوى لي مقياس الشخصية طلعت عنده مؤشرات مرتفعة وطلب اعيد المقياس لانه شاك اني كنت مركزه وعدته وعدلت بعض الاجابات وصارت النتيجة ابعد شوي عن النرجسية ومضاد المجتمع وقالي نتجيتي السابقة طلعت اني شخصية معادية للمجتمع وشخصية تتطلب تنويم؟؟ وقالها بضحك بس نتجيتي الثانية طبيعية
المهم كيف اتاكد انا عندي اضطراب شخصية نرجسية او لا؟

So during the past month, somehow, my life magically aligned and things I’ve been working towards in the past 20 years, started happening very quickly and at the same time. Which is a blessing I know. But for whatever reason, I don’t feel like I am in it. Like I am seeing the Life, but I feel like I am disconnected. I want to be happy. But at the same time I feel like I’m stunned. And I wanna blame it on Cipralex. But the thing is, I was on Cipralex in the past few months and I was just being alive just fine. My anxiety got better but right now i just feel a lot of void. Like even in the car when I’m driving, I can’t think of a single thought. Me! The queen of dreaming! And I keep thinking is it because I got everything I wanted to this point, but isn’t the human mind structured in a way that it’s always wants more and there is a few more things that I just recently started wanting but for whatever reason, I can’t even think of them or get excited about them or daydream of them. While I hope this is temporary I am worried that my mind is so fucked up that I cannot feel joy or happiness, but I am fully present during bad times. God, I hope it’s not that. But anyways, I’m open to any interpretation and any advice. And for whoever is reading this, I do hope that everything you wish for happens and you get to enjoy it too. Sort of have your cake and eat it too.

I’m really struggling with this and could use some outside perspectives.

A few days ago, my 5-year-old nephew came to me and described seeing my 16-year-old nephew’s private parts. Based on what he told me, it didn’t sound like he accidentally walked in on someone using the bathroom. It sounded like my older nephew intentionally exposed himself and asked the 5 YO to touch it.

I was shocked. The reason this hit me so hard is because something very similar happened to me when I was a child. The 5 yo was around the same age and I still remember it vividly. It was incredibly disturbing and has stayed with me my whole life. And the person who SA me was around 16 yo as well. Very odd coincidence?

Anyways i immediately told both mothers. They both said they were taking it seriously and would handle it. One of them initially leaned toward believing her son when he said he was just using the bathroom and the younger child happened to walk in. I pushed back because I felt it was important not to dismiss the possibility that something more serious happened. I suggested therapy or at least having him evaluated.

The part I’m struggling with is that I’ve always been close to my older nephew. I’ve known him his whole life. But after hearing what happened, I felt disgusted and almost couldn’t look at him the same way. At the same time, I know he’s still a teenager, and if something is wrong, he may need help too.

The parents say they’re handling it, so I’m not planning to interfere further. But I can’t seem to process what happened, especially because it brought back my own childhood experience.

Has anyone been in a situation like this? How did you cope with it, and is there anything else I should do besides letting the parents handle it?

خصوصا ان الوعي بهذي الامور لسا مو شائع عندنا. وشكرًا.

القصة باختصار انا وثلاث بنات صديقات من الثانوي، يعني لنا أكثر من 10 سنوات مع بعض!

أول وحدة تزوجت، سوينا لها حفلة مفاجأة، لكن وحدة من البنات دقت عليها وقالت لها بالحرف: “البنات مسوين لك حفلة الخميس الجاي، بس أنا صراحة مو فاضية وعندي أشغال”، وخربت المفاجأة بالكامل. العروس بعدها قطعتها، وأنا زعلت منها فترة وبعدها صارت علاقتنا سطحية. أما البنت الرابعة فقررت تكون محايدة وصدقت عذر إنها كانت مضغوطة، مع إني للحين أشوف الضغط ما يبرر اللي سوته.

بعدها بسنوات، البنت اللي كانت محايدة تزوجت. حضرنا ملكتها وكل شيء كان طبيعي، بعدها أرسلت لنا إننا مو معزومين للزواج لأن الكروت محدودة. بعدين اكتشفنا إنها عازمة صديقاتها الثانيات.

هنا استوعبت إنها ما كانت تشوفني بنفس القرب اللي أنا أشوفها فيه. ما واجهتها ولا سويت مشكلة، بس اعتذرت عن حضور حفلة الحنة ودعيت لها بالتوفيق ومشيت.

الحين صار القروب من أربع بنات إلى بنتين...

المشكلة إني بديت ألاحظ إن حتى البنت اللي بقت معي صارت بعيدة، ومو بسبب الزواج، هي كذا من قبل. صحيح إن شغلنا كلنا ضاغطنا، وهي وقفت معي بأوقات احتجتها وأنا بعد وقفت معها، فما أقدر أقول إنها صديقة سيئة.

بس بديت أخاف إن هذا مصير قروبنا. وحدة تطلع، بعدها الثانية، لين فجأة القروب كله يختفي.

وش بتسوون لو كنتم مكاني؟

I love running but I’ve looked into almost every women’s gym in Riyadh and barely any of them have an outdoor space. Tbh i don’t care if it’s a proper running track or just a soccer field, i just want fresh air! Running on a treadmill makes me feel like a hamster in a cage, just not the same

Before anyone says Boulevard, that’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid. It’s full of men and i get stared at the whole time and i even had creeps film me while I’m running :)

I run in DQ sometimes but I’m honestly getting a bit sick of it. Every now and then I even drive outside the city just to find somewhere quiet and be around nature.

Does anyone know of any private or low key outdoor places where women can run? It doesn’t have to be a running track. Any open space that’s peaceful and safe would be amazing.

Thanks!

قابلت سعودي وجدا ابهرني وحسيته فارق ونفس ما ابي وتايبي بالضبط بعدين عرفت انه خاطب وهو توه اخر العشرين

قابلت بريطاني وعجبني شخصية وشكل واخلاق ونجاح بس طلع متزوج بعد وعنده اطفال وهو توه باول الثلاثين!!

محدثتكم مو راعية علاقات والصدق البيئة هنا تشجعك تصيرين لحالك- احسن لك ما تطيحين على احد ابن حرام. لكن بالمرات القليلة اللي اصادف شخص يبهرني وفيه كل صفات احلامي ويكون بيننا كمستري يطلع مرتبط مسبقا. حظ؟ او وشو؟

ببدأ وظيفة جديدة قريب، وفي شخص سينير معي في شركتي الحالية، يتكلم عني بشكل سيء ويقول إني غير مهنية وسيئة جدا (بوقت كنت اتعرض لتقييم حساس، بس فازع لمديري السابق اللي هو صديقه)، رغم إنه ما اشتغل معي بشكل مباشر!!

المشكلة إنه الآن انطرد من الشركة بسبب موضوع أخلاقي (مختلف)، وقاعد يدور وظيفة ولو ما لقى يمكن يسفرونه، ومديري الجديد يعرفه ويسألني عن رأيي فيه.

أنا ما أبي أنتقم منه ولا أضر مستقبله، بس بنفس الوقت ما أبي أعطيه تقييم كويس وبعدها يوظفونه عندي وينقل نفس الكلام عني أو يسبب لي مشاكل من جديد. هو شخص كثير الكلام وأخاف من شخصيته.

أفكر أقول لمديري الجديد بكل بساطة إني ما اشتغلت معه بشكل مباشر كفاية عشان أعطيه تقييم عادل وأنصحه يسأل ناس اشتغلوا معه عن قرب.

بس بنفس الوقت أحس إني لازم أكون صريحة. وش تسوون لو انكم في مكاني؟

I’m starting a new job soon and a former senior colleague who had a very negative opinion of me is now being considered for a role at the same firm.

He previously told people that I was unprofessional and technically weak (in a a sensitive time where I was under a lot of pressure, just to decide with his friend who was my former boss), despite not having worked with me!!

My new manager gave me a chance anyways and I’ve built a good relationship with him.

This senior colleague has now left my current firm after an ethics-related issue, and my new manager is asking me for my opinion of him. He is currently looking for another job, and I understand that his situation may be difficult. He might get deported.

My dilemma is that I don’t want to be vindictive or damage someone’s career. At the same time, I have genuine concerns about his character and the way he talks about people. He is very chatty, and I worry that if he joins my new firm, he could carry the same negative narrative about me there or influence how other people see me.

Part of me thinks the safest thing is to say that I didn’t work with him closely enough to give a meaningful assessment and recommend speaking to people who worked with him directly. Another part of me feels that, given my own experience with him and the circumstances under which he left, I should be more honest about my concerns.

I don’t want revenge. But I also don’t want to help someone who may have tried to damage my career and then potentially bring the same behavior into my new workplace.
What would you do?

طبعا نتيجة التناقض المعرفي هذا هو اني بوصل الثلاثين وانا ما جربت احب احد، ما جربت اعيش علاقة ابد، عشان حتى توصل للزواج!

يمكن استفدت اذا سافرت يسوون لي ترقيات وادخل مطاعم عليها لاينات، وفيه مزايا ما ننكرها لكن الحاجات الانسانية لسا موجودة ومع الاسف قاعده تتدمر بسبب المضايقات فقط. وين ممكن الاقي شاب صاحي؟ او خلاص افقد الامل؟

ابي مكان قريب (٦ ساعات او اقل بالطيارة)، ودي تكون استجمام، ابي اعيش بالمنتجع بس. (ما ابي دول عربية او دول الخليج)