u/Heart-Shaped-Mystery

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Do not share my post. It feels ill intent.

I deleted my previous posts here, because a random woman actually followed me to this subreddit, and then mocked my situation, in an unrelated subreddit.

Disturbing.

Anyway.

To keep it short and readable.

I dated my ex for 10 years.

I experienced physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse, after thinking I found safety, after leaving my abusive mother's home.

Ex drank away the rent money, hid it, and got us evicted.

We rented a room.

He got us evicted AGAIN.

And just before we found ourselves in a van by the river.

His narcissistic & racist mother, bought "us" a house, 5mins away from her house, in rural bum fuck nowhere, which he secretly signed the deed to alone.

Not long afterwards, he beat me, but didn't get arrested due to white male privilege, in this hick town.

Instead he fled to his mother's and began fucking his coworker...thus resulting in me living alone for nearly 2 years, until he dropped off a cat, that I MANIFESTED, a year ago, for company.

This house has become a cage.

There are no jobs.

He purposely left me without food and essentials

Without any other choice, I cam online for income (I don't hate it), but its misery, due to this cage, so often I don't have the emotional strength to log on.

Public transportation is non existent.

Before the arrival of my cat, I cried everyday from loneliness.

But now I worry about how I will provide for him long term.

***

My ex (38) would rather live with his clingy mother, than come home, and face the consequences of his actions, despite how he moans of hating it there due to lack of privacy and his mother always in his face.

But whenever he is angry about having to pay bills, on "somewhere he doesn't even live."

He comes over and demands sex as rent, something I would sadly give, until the police were involved again, and he was told he be arrested, if they had to come back.

This resulted in him mocking me, by telling me he fucked his coworker "loads" after outside the window, after telling me, "He didn't know how long the affair was or how many times they had sex."

Resulting in me placing out signs on the lawn, for the neighbors, heralding his abuse, the cheating, and more, until his mom came and removed them.

I am receiving 10k from a former job settlement.

I have 19 months before my rental record is clean.

Should I just go? Even if it means he gets back his house, while my cat and I get doors slammed in our faces, due to the eviction.

Or should I wait out the 19 months here...maybe even less, if actually gives me at least 5k for cash for keys/moving expenses?

After his "fucked her loads" aka "I betrayed you loads" comment.

I've been laying on the couch, barely eating, neglecting my cat, who comes to lay on me, and just too depressed to do anything.

I know I should cam and save up for my departure.

But I'm actually fighting the urge to hurt myself.

I look at the scar on my face in the mirror and still feel pain in my knee, from his abuse.

Should I just take my cat and head off into the unknown?

I know they are the same people...

What's bothering me?

I find myself sadistically pleased, whenever Marionette and Adrien get ripped apart.

The only time I can stand them, is when Kagami is around and they have a poly vibe. And I'm not even into poly.

Also, why don't I like Kagami x Felix?

I admit, when I first saw Felix, I thought he was "close enough" for Kagami, who couldn't get her first choice.

But it just feels wrong.

After nearly 3 years.

The other side came to my side with a 35k offer. We could avoid arbitration.

Personally, I am all for arbitration, but my team seemed so excited about the 35k, insisting it could be a "take it or leave it."

I did the math. I really was willing to f☆ck off, if I had at least 20k in cash.

Until I received the settlement form showing I'd only get 10k.

You can't tell me this is all taxes.

Furious and feeling that my own legal team betrayed me.

I refused to sign and demanded a written break down of expenses.

Am I getting played?

Even if the math is right.

The payout is too low.

Its so insulting.

I don't care if my team has to work another year on this.

I'm hurting right now.

We were together 10 years.

I have endured physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, and financial abuse.

For nearly a year, he convinced me I was the problem, when he actually had been fucking his coworker for months.

I had clues when I opened his bank statements and saw fancy dinners and hotel stays.

I desperately convinced myself he and his mother were traveling, but I knew.

Suddenly, he came to "confess" he said he had been seeing someone, its over, and he never "kissed her"

I asked about the hotels and he blamed clueless, until I held up his bank statements.

Suddenly he claimed he only fucked her once.

But he didn't know how long he had been cheating with her.

He stuck to this bullshit story, until yesterday.

I refused to let him into his house (his mom bought it for us both), where he has not lived in 2 years, due to hiding at his mother's.

The law is on my side here.

The police even told him he would be arrested, if he tried to enter without a court order.

Through the windows, my ex then coldly said with a smirk.

"I fucked her LOADS time." .

Resulting in me placing signs outside the house, expressing to the neighbors, how he beat me, cheated, brought home stds, and how he was a closet bisexual chasing femboys.

Which his mother then came in removed, after I assumed the neighbors told her.

I'm sad.