I’m scared homeschooling again will turn me back into the weird kid
I used to be homeschooled, isolated, overweight, and painfully awkward. I had no friends, I wasn't allowed to message anyone else too, they barely let me go out, especially on my own (I'm 15 btw) and limited almost everything socially, so most of my personality came from the internet instead of actual people.
Years ago I literally had a “YouTube Shorts personality” because that was my main exposure to people my age. My humor, the way I talked, everything felt like recycled internet behavior instead of a real personality. I didn’t realize how weird I came across until I finally started socializing irl.
When I got into a physical school, I felt insanely behind everyone socially. But eventually I learned social cues, started taking care of myself more, and honestly changed a lot. People started complimenting me, calling me pretty, actually wanting to talk to me. For the first time, I didn’t feel like “the weird kid” anymore.
Now I’m being homeschooled again. I don’t have a choice.
What makes it worse is that I secretly bought myself a phone just to feel somewhat connected to people my age, but I can’t even properly use mobile data because getting a SIM here needs an ID and I’m scared my parents will find out. So I still feel cut off from everything socially while everyone else my age keeps evolving together online and irl.
It genuinely feels like I had to teach myself how to be normal, and now I’m scared all that progress is gonna disappear.
