u/ImaBtch666

I’ve seen some loud-mouthed, holier than thou vegans (primarily women) and some have been vegan for many years. I noticed they have faces that look like jell-o, no discernible bone structure, age prematurely. These aren’t smokers. Also, I noticed hardcore vegan women have croaky voices all of the time, like “vocal fry” but worse.

Is it some deficiencies causing this? It’s been bothering me for some time. I’m grateful I never joined the vegan cult: I was pressured long ago but I said NO!

It was buzzing around the other side of the window and I was shitting bricks they had made a nest on my house. It was buzzing around in front of me on the other side of the window so I 🖕🏻🖕🏻 at it and yelled “fuck off, you stupid cunt!” Off the cunt fucked. I hate Yellowjackets!

It makes me jumpy, angry and distressed. 😫😡🤬

DAE?

I’ve had an undiagnosed phobia of thunderstorms for decades. I think it started when I endured a couple of really bad ones that caused a lot of damage.

We were having thunder and lightning; I looked out the window and I saw a huge bolt of lightning that seemed close. I cringed, expecting terrifyingly loud thunder and I was hyperventilating and my HR went through the roof. I started to feel like I was going to faint so I ran to go sit down (I was alone at the time.)

If there’s hail I completely lose it.

Relatable???

A long time ago someone introduced me to Hello Kitty and I thought it was the coolest shit, ever. I fell headlong into Sanrio and I’m still into it. I have pajamas, scrunchies, hairbrushes, keychains, socks, crocs etc with some variant of Hello Kitty. Also, plushies, figurines, playsets. I once almost bought a Hello Kitty microwave lol.

I’m probably autistic so I blurted out to (my evil, jealous, abusive) Momster that I love Hello Kitty. (I have PTSD anything that brings me joy is a huge benefit.)

I expected Momster to be like, “oh.” I didn’t expect her to care or be interested. To my horror she replied, “what are you, y*llow?” I was horrified and upset. In public Momster wears an angelic halo who is against racism, but in private it’s the real her.

Her words tainted my adoration for the cat and even though it’s been about five years since I cut her off it still bothers me on some level. 🫣😭

I’m Gen X and my POS biological father has been married four times, I think. He’s worthless and evil. He looks for women with a lucrative career and is parasitic in the extreme. He bamboozled his (much younger) third wife and they got married. I was invited and went. For some batshit reason they invited his second ex wife (curiously not my Momster?) who was the worst alcoholic I’ve ever seen. She pressured me into drinking at the wedding! She hounded me (I was 21 but a nonsmoker, nondrinker) I caved and drank champagne (I thought at least it would be classy?) I got basically shitfaced. In retrospect I’m angry she pressured me - I kept saying “NO! I don’t drink!” She didn’t care

My Momster in retrospect was jealous biofather hadn’t wanted her back (they cheated on each other when they were married and I was 2yo and divorced soon after.)

Third ex wife and biofather had a very preemie baby and so one day I took multiple buses to go see my (half) sister because I thought it was the ethical thing to do. I wasn’t ecstatic they were pregnant as biofather only came sniffing around me when I was 18. I didn’t object to them having a kid or anything and I was worried the baby wouldn’t make it.

So I get to the hospital and iirc some nurse told me what section to go to so I did. Someone checked and I wasn’t on the approved list of visitors! I was horrified. I got to see my tiny half sister through glass and she looked so small, so emaciated, so alone. It killed me.

Some years ensued and third wife wised up and divorced biofather’s ass and good for her. I tried to stay in contact with her and half sister but we drifted apart and I felt so guilty about it for a long time. The other problem is that I had cut biofather off right after his third divorce (somewhere in the 90s.) My half sister is mentally ill; severely coddled in a bad way but I was neglected and abused by my Momster so I’m hyper independent and I don’t know if I have my half sister’s family/upbringing twisted but I don’t think I do.

When I was about 30 iirc Momster called me to tell me biofather had been writing her letters telling her he had changed (he hasn’t; he has narcissistic and sociopathic traits) and she was taking him back. I knew, intuitively he would destroy her financially, use her like he does everyone else and it would be a giant tactical mistake!

I was screaming, crying, on my knees in my kitchen yelling NOOOO abd my Momster was laughing at me! She claimed awhile later they had gotten married (I have never seen a shred of evidence of this) and thus began her campaign of violating my boundaries and trying to force me to have a relationship with the “man” she reviled and hated my whole life before that! Like, bitch, what?!

I had a friend around that time that I vented to and she was horrified; her parents were divorced too and it would be her worst nightmare if they got back together!

I moved far away, married and have kids of my own now.

I am no contact with third ex wife and adult half sister. I have to take a hard line with anyone who can or would feed info to Momster or biofather. Although, allegedly, biofather is dying of Alzheimer’s so some of this could be moot sooner rather than later.

I’m not a bad person although my ptsd begs to differ.

Just needed to vent; I carry bad memories and they weigh on me sometimes.

Species: canis lupus familiaris

Age: 12

Sex/Neuter status: neuter

Breed: lab/hound

Body weight: average

History: had benign tumor removed last year

Clinical signs:

Duration: years

Your general location: USA

Links to test results, X-rays, vet reports etc:

I conducted several Internet searches trying to satisfy my curiosity to no avail. I’m dying to know how and when and where watercolor colors got their names???

Payne’s Grey??? Who’s Payne and why was he into grey? Madder Lake?? Phthalo? Sap green? Who was looking at sap and not the whole plant? Vandyke brown?? Hooker’s Green??

So many others.

I have anxiety, ptsd and undiagnosed autism. I also have spacial reasoning issues. I tried to learn to drive in my late 20s but failed the road test so I said “fuck it” and continued walking miles, taking public transit, riding my bicycle.

I can’t count the amount of times I’ve nearly been turned into street pizza even when I was 💯 percent obedient to all laws. It happened recently - some c**t almost mowed me down and scared the shit out of me.

Also, back in the early 80s when I was under ten yo my friend was hit by an inattentive, speeding pizza delivery guy right in front of me. I watched my friend fly through the air (he was maybe 8 yo) and hit the concrete. I screamed my damned head off and some woman in an apt nearby heard me, looked outside and dialed the 7 digit emergency number ostensibly on her rotary phone.

My friend had two busted legs, broken ribs, almost lost a kidney.

It wasn’t the biggest trauma but it definitely forms part of my trauma . Many decades later a little kid around the age of my kids got mowed down in a small parking lot in my city. He died. This horrified me. When my kids were little and we were trying to use a crosswalk, I would flashback to my friend getting hit. I’m an old hag now with rampant osteoarthritis. I can’t ride a bicycle anymore.

I have shame, guilt, humiliation that I can’t drive. I was passed over for office jobs many times due to my inability. Also, car exhaust contributes to poor air quality that sets off my asthma.

I hate cars, I hate car culture, I hate urban sprawl.

I struggle with what normal boundaries look like, sometimes.

I had a brief, toxic and abusive marriage in the 2000s. My ex husband put his hands on me, was controlling and verbally abusive. I found the courage to walk away and get a divorce. I told Momster he had put hands on me and the other stuff and she couldn’t give a shit. Her response was “oh.”

Me and ex had no children, didn’t share a business or property or anything of the sort. It lasted less than five years.

Momster has stayed friends with my ex in-laws even though I remarried a few years later and have kids with my upgrade husband.

I objected for years until I eventually cut Momster off. I know she told them I have kids now and a new husband because she doesn’t give a shit about my privacy. That means my ex can get info on me which freaks me out. Once we separated I ceased contact with him and did the simple divorce myself (through the court system.)

I reminded Momster repeatedly that ex put hands on me and she couldn’t care any less. My hypothesis now is that since said told me I deserved to be beaten as a child that means I deserve to be beaten by intimate partners. This makes me furiously angry! Fuck!

Also, I had a boundary long ago that Momster could FaceTime my children only if Fuckwit father was not in the videos. They had cheated on each other when I was two and divorced. Fuckwit married two-three more times and when his last victim wife divorced him he manipulated Momster into taking him back. I’ve been NC with Fuckwit since the 90s, he’s not to have contact with me or my children. Anyway, she let Fuckwit be in the FaceTime videos so I cut off her access to FaceTiming them. She exploded. Was my boundary reasonable?

I’ve cut Momster out of our lives and I’m never having contact again but sometimes I wonder if I’m ever mistaken about boundaries.

In our last conversation I called her out for contacting my husband about me without my permission. Especially when he is busy and especially when he’s at work! She was trying to triangulate him to control, undermine, break me etc. I hit the fucking roof! It was the last boundary stomping after more than forty years of her abuse, boundary stomping once I was an adult, her uncaring, jealously and oneupmanship etc. I had an epiphany and I cut her off, permanently.

During my last tête-a-tête with Momster (via online chat) I finally had enough of her boundary stomping, disrespect, petulance, haughtiness etc so I told her I was “taking a break.” I never said what I should have: “fuck off, never contact me again, you bitch!” ;/

I was taking about it with someone and they said “you should have told her to fuck off and never speak to you again.” Uh ohhh! I took a break for one week - I told myself to give it one week and see if I liked NC. I loved NC so I made it permanent but I didn’t tell Momster that! I just did it!

I have had zero communication in five years almost. Is that enough???