u/InternationalBunty

Tomorrow (6 july) is the final day for flipkart and amazon’s sale(s). I want to get a tablet.

1)Use
Primary use: note taking; highlighting PDFs
Seconday: movies
Gaming? = Practically zero

2. Must have a pen (or if not, then should support the digiroot stylus I have from my previous iPad days)

3. Screen size = \~11 inch is preferred

4. RAM = the higher the better (coz I think RAM prices are going to further increase later this year)

5. Processor = fast enough to handle multitasking(multiple PDFs open at once)

6. Budget = 30k Indian rupee

Kindly help your mate.

Tomorrow (6 july) is the final day for flipkart and amazon’s sale(s). I want to get a tablet.

1)Use
Primary use: note taking; highlighting PDFs
Seconday: movies
Gaming? = Practically zero

2. Must have a pen (or if not, then should support the digiroot stylus I have from my previous iPad days)

3. Screen size = ~11 inch is preferred

4. RAM = the higher the better (coz I think RAM prices are going to further increase later this year)

5. Processor = fast enough to handle multitasking(multiple PDFs open at once)

6. Budget = 30k

Kindly help your mate.

I don’t know what is happening to me.
For the last 6-7 days, I haven’t been feeling like myself. I feel unusually irritated, emotionally exhausted, and I keep having very negative thoughts. Sometimes they are almost like suîc!dal images popping into my mind, which is scaring me.
Yesterday I was so rude with my father that my sister (who is visiting for 2-3 days) texted me a very long message today morning about being kind to my old parents, and particularly more in-front of my Jija ji (who is also visiting. They’ll return tomorrow).

A bit of background:
A few months ago, I went through a breakup with my first girlfriend. We were only officially together for a few months, but before that we had been extremely close friends for around 15 months. The breakup hit me very hard and I struggled with depression and anxiety afterward. Anti-depressants had to be taken, coz I just couldn’t manage that time.

Over the past couple of months, I genuinely felt like I was recovering and moving on. Around the same time, my family started talking to a girl through an arranged marriage setup. For nearly two months, both families were in touch, and I slowly started feeling hopeful (about life) again. I thought maybe this could be a fresh start.

On Friday, I finally met her in person.
The meeting actually went well. I liked her personality and overall vibe. The problem is that she is much slimmer than what I personally find attractive, and now I don’t think I’ll be able to adjust to that difference in the long run. Because of that, I will probably have to say no. Also, she said she has anger issues, and doesn’t accept her mistakes even if she is wrong. My best friend and my sister are saying this might be her trick for me to say ‘no’ (they feel she might be liking someone else, but maybe isn’t able to tell her parents because they are very conservative. We saw a similar case in my family a few years ago).

Since that meeting, I have been feeling terrible.
Part of me feels guilty for rejecting someone who seems like a good person (though my family, after hearing what we talked, say they spotted many issues - aka ‘red flags’).
Another part of me is afraid that I haven’t really moved on from my breakup as much as I thought. Well maybe this is my biggest fear. It feels as if the emotional progress I made over the last two months has suddenly disappeared. Infact, today in my dreams I saw my ex the whole time.

At the same time, I also started my first-ever job a month ago as a Bank PO, so there has been a huge lifestyle change and a lot of workload and stress.

I honestly don’t know what is causing what anymore. Is it guilt? Stress from the new job (highly unlikely though, coz I was doing well for the past 2 months)? Residual grief from the breakup? Fear of having to start over again in my search for a life partner? Or the fact that I was on anti-depressants for the past 3 months but my stock ended 4 days ago (the earliest available consultation for my regular psychiatrist was next week. So I’ll have to meet a new psychiatrist after a few hours)?
Has anyone experienced something similar where a seemingly small event re-triggered a wave of depression, irritation, or even thoughts of ‘ending it all’ after you thought you had moved on?
Any advice would be appreciated.

Update: the psychiatrist I met categorised me a ‘high risk patient’ and recommended me to either get hospitalised (I can’t believe I have come to this situation) or to have some close family member with me all the time for a few days. So my mom (who’s in her mid 50s, and has many health issues of her own) is travelling with me to my city (I am posted as a bank PO in a nearby city) for 2-3 days (I don’t want her to adjust more.. so I’ve said I’ll book your return tickets in 2-3 days if I start feeling better)

I don’t know what is happening to me.
For the last 6-7 days, I haven’t been feeling like myself. I feel unusually irritated, emotionally exhausted, and I keep having very negative thoughts. Sometimes they are almost like suîc!dal images popping into my mind, which is scaring me.
Yesterday I was so rude with my father that my sister (who is visiting for 2-3 days) texted me a very long message today morning about being kind to my old parents, and particularly more in-front of my Jija ji (who is also visiting. They’ll return tomorrow). (For the unaware, Jija ji = sister’s husband)

A bit of background:
A few months ago, I went through a breakup with my first girlfriend. We were only officially together for a few months, but before that we had been extremely close friends for around 15 months. The breakup hit me very hard and I struggled with depression and anxiety afterward. Anti-depressants had to be taken, coz I just couldn’t manage that time.

Over the past couple of months, I genuinely felt like I was recovering and moving on. Around the same time, my family started talking to a girl through an arranged marriage setup. For nearly two months, both families were in touch, and I slowly started feeling hopeful (about life) again. I thought maybe this could be a fresh start.

On Friday, I finally met her in person.
The meeting actually went well. I liked her personality and overall vibe. The problem is that she is much slimmer than what I personally find attractive, and now I don’t think I’ll be able to adjust to that difference in the long run. Because of that, I will probably have to say no. Also, she said she has anger issues, and doesn’t accept her mistakes even if she is wrong. My best friend and my sister are saying this might be her trick for me to say ‘no’ (they feel she might be liking someone else, but maybe isn’t able to tell her parents because they are very conservative. We saw a similar case in my family a few years ago).

Since that meeting, I have been feeling terrible.
Part of me feels guilty for rejecting someone who seems like a good person (though my family, after hearing what we talked, say they spotted many issues - aka ‘red flags’).
Another part of me is afraid that I haven’t really moved on from my breakup as much as I thought. Well maybe this is my biggest fear. It feels as if the emotional progress I made over the last two months has suddenly disappeared. Infact, today in my dreams I saw my ex the whole time.

At the same time, I also started my first-ever job a month ago as a Bank PO, so there has been a huge lifestyle change and a lot of workload and stress.

I honestly don’t know what is causing what anymore. Is it guilt? Stress from the new job (highly unlikely though, coz I was doing well for the past 2 months)? Residual grief from the breakup? Fear of having to start over again in my search for a life partner? Or the fact that I was on anti-depressants for the past 3 months but my stock ended 4 days ago (the earliest available consultation was of today. I’ll meet him after a few hours)?
Has anyone experienced something similar where a seemingly small event re-triggered a wave of depression, irritation, or even thoughts of ‘ending it all’ after you thought you had moved on?
Any advice would be appreciated.

I don’t know what is happening to me.
For the last 6-7 days, I haven’t been feeling like myself. I feel unusually irritated, emotionally exhausted, and I keep having very negative thoughts. Sometimes they are almost like suîc!dal images popping into my mind, which is scaring me.
Yesterday I was so rude with my father that my sister (who is visiting for 2-3 days) texted me a very long message today morning about being kind to my old parents, and particularly more in-front of my Jija ji (who is also visiting. They’ll return tomorrow).

A bit of background:
A few months ago, I went through a breakup with my first girlfriend. We were only officially together for a few months, but before that we had been extremely close friends for around 15 months. The breakup hit me very hard and I struggled with depression and anxiety afterward. Anti-depressants had to be taken, coz I just couldn’t manage that time.

Over the past couple of months, I genuinely felt like I was recovering and moving on. Around the same time, my family started talking to a girl through an arranged marriage setup. For nearly two months, both families were in touch, and I slowly started feeling hopeful (about life) again. I thought maybe this could be a fresh start.

On Friday, I finally met her in person.
The meeting actually went well. I liked her personality and overall vibe. The problem is that she is much slimmer than what I personally find attractive, and now I don’t think I’ll be able to adjust to that difference in the long run. Because of that, I will probably have to say no. Also, she said she has anger issues, and doesn’t accept her mistakes even if she is wrong. My best friend and my sister are saying this might be her trick for me to say ‘no’ (they feel she might be liking someone else, but maybe isn’t able to tell her parents because they are very conservative. We saw a similar case in my family a few years ago).

Since that meeting, I have been feeling terrible.
Part of me feels guilty for rejecting someone who seems like a good person (though my family, after hearing what we talked, say they spotted many issues - aka ‘red flags’).
Another part of me is afraid that I haven’t really moved on from my breakup as much as I thought. Well maybe this is my biggest fear. It feels as if the emotional progress I made over the last two months has suddenly disappeared. Infact, today in my dreams I saw my ex the whole time.

At the same time, I also started my first-ever job a month ago as a Bank PO, so there has been a huge lifestyle change and a lot of workload and stress.

I honestly don’t know what is causing what anymore. Is it guilt? Stress from the new job (highly unlikely though, coz I was doing well for the past 2 months)? Residual grief from the breakup? Fear of having to start over again in my search for a life partner? Or the fact that I was on anti-depressants for the past 3 months but my stock ended 4 days ago (the earliest available consultation was of today. I’ll meet him after a few hours)?
Has anyone experienced something similar where a seemingly small event re-triggered a wave of depression, irritation, or even thoughts of ‘ending it all’ after you thought you had moved on?
Any advice would be appreciated.

Hi, my parents have already started looking for a girl on matrimony apps. I am here trying my luck..

Hopefully bhagwaan ji cooperates this time 🤞

Personal Details

• Age: Turned 29 in January

• Height: 181 cm (5’11” ft)

• Religion: Hindu (Brahmin by birth)

• Personal Annual Income: ₹10 LPA Government Job)

• Marital Status: Never married

• Current Location: Raipur, but it is transferrable

• Living with Parents: currently no

• Note: Transferable job, so future city isn’t fixed yet

⸻

Location & Background

• Mother Tongue: Hindi

• Family Background: Service class (government service)

• Plan to Settle Abroad: Not at the moment, but open in the future. We can discuss it.

⸻

Education & Profession

• Education: Engineering

• Profession: Banker (Probationary Officer in a govt bank)

⸻

Diet

• Vegetarian (might include eggs in the future)

⸻

Partner Preferences

• Religion: Hindu (Brahmin)

• Diet: Vegetarian or Eggetarian

• Education: Graduate or above

• Occupation: Flexible (WFH-friendly roles preferred)

• Age group: 24-27

• Marital Status: Never married

• Children after Marriage: most likely Yes

⸻

Interests

Movies & web series, occasional cooking, bathroom singing (elite level, audience = myself), and organising things, especially making lists (songs, movies, actors, etc.).

⸻

Contact: Reddit DM, or comment below (if DM is restricted)

I don’t know what is happening with me

I am feeling a strange thing.. I don’t know what’s happening, why’s happening, but I am having su!cidâl/doom thoughts. I am too much irritated. I don’t know if it’s the guilt of saying ‘no’ to someone (I just met a girl through Arranged Marriage setup yesterday, and though I liked the overall vibes, she is too slim for my taste hence I will have to say ‘no’) or the workload (or lifestyle change) due to my first ever job (I joined a month ago as a Bank PO), but since the last 6-7 days, I am not feeling myself. This is too much to bear.

This was my first ever meeting with a girl.

I found a secondary old phone (oppo a37) which runs android 5. I want to flash some new android version so it can atleast run some apps (android 5 doesn’t run any app nowadays).

I have no idea how to do it.. can anyone guide me regarding how to do it? Or even better, can anyone do it for me? I will give him/her a food treat (Biryani/Pizza/XYZ).

Is there any?
The purpose is pre-marriage investigation. Also, how much will it cost?

Any help is appreciated.

I want to buy one. Do let me know if someone is selling it. In good working condition (no working issues) only.

I had my breakup a while ago.

[https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/Yi61sN1ewS\](https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/Yi61sN1ewS)

I had a cordial call/text with my ex a few hours ago. She said “XYZ (my name), what if I tell you that I really like someone?. It just happened so unexpectedly.” Also when I asked if he’s older or younger than her (since she told me, when we were only friends, that she used to prefer someone older), she didn’t tell me but said “he’s just who he is. Not like I had thought, but he feels so mine”. Also shared “we started talking recently.. 3-4 weeks only”.

Idk how to feel about it. On the one hand, I am happy for her. But on the other.. my heart is heavy, particularly seeing her use the same line (“feels so mine”) for someone else now, that she used to use for me. That line was used for me. That was very special to me. Now I feel replaced. I feel sad.

I too want to move on, but I still remember her every 2nd day. How do I move on? How do I find a new partner? And most importantly, will I be able to love again?

I had my breakup a while ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RelationshipIndia/s/eX5a6ies3O

I had a call/text with my ex a few minutes ago. She said “XYZ (my name), what if I tell you that I really like someone?. It just happened so unexpectedly.” Also when I asked if he’s older or younger than her (since she told me, when we were only friends, that she used to prefer someone older), she didn’t tell me but said “he’s just who he is. Not like I had thought, but he feels so mine”. Also shared “we started talking recently.. 3-4 weeks only”.

Idk how to feel about it. On the one hand, I am happy for her. But on the other.. my heart is heavy, particularly seeing her use the same line (“feels so mine”) for someone else now, that she used to use for me.

I had my breakup a while ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/Yi61sN1ewS

I had a cordial call/text with my ex a few minutes ago. She said “XYZ (my name), what if I tell you that I really like someone?. It just happened so unexpectedly.” Also when I asked if he’s older or younger than her (since she told me, when we were only friends, that she used to prefer someone older), she didn’t tell me but said “he’s just who he is. Not like I had thought, but he feels so mine”. Also shared “we started talking recently.. 3-4 weeks only”.

Idk how to feel about it. On the one hand, I am happy for her. But on the other.. my heart is heavy, particularly seeing her use the same line (“feels so mine”) for someone else now, that she used to use for me. That line was used for me. That was very special to me. Now I feel replaced. I feel sad.

(Repost because the previous one had typo in the title)

\*Long read\*

I had my breakup a few days ago. Please read this. \[[https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/G9WbkrJZv4\](https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/G9WbkrJZv4)]

Day before yesterday was my joining (my first ever job) day, and I got a mail from her “how are you doing”. I didn’t reply, and was thinking of what to reply the whole time. Then yesterday she saw my twitter profile and saw a report “the only karma I want for people who did me wrong is to meet someone like them”. She mailed me an angry text “if this report was for me, I’m glad we aren’t in touch. As if someone exercising her choice is doing injustice to you. This is the last time I’m reaching out”

I got very anxious and mailed her a long text, that it wasn’t for her and that I was not hurt by her saying ‘no’, but by the words and the tone she used that day.
She called me from a friend’s number and asked me to call her. We talked for 20 mins, and she said she’ll call tomorrow (ie today). She just did.

The gist of both the calls.

1. when I pointed out her words have been very rude, she apologised, though the tone was not very convincing.
2. I asked if she’s talking to someone (arrange marriage), she said “I’m sorry I can’t answer this. Coz then I know your brain will compare and you’ll become a different person”.
3. She said “I don’t want any ill will from you”. I assured her that I can never have ill will for her.
4. She said “I don’t think we can be friends. But we can’t be acquaintances and well-wishers. If something happens in your life, let me know. I’ll do the same. That’s it.” But honestly, this time also the tone was not very convincing.

I’m having mixed feelings. One the one hand, the old chapter is now closed for good. I really loved that girl. It feels sad that the end was not like I was hoping for. Specially the points she mentioned about me.. aisa feel ho raha as if those things led me to lose her.
On the other hand, now I can move on with my life. It isn’t going to be easy, but it is what is needed actually.

Also, the call/conversation delayed my healing. I am very anxious today, and my appetite has also disappeared. I had to take SOS medicine Clonazepam (used for panic attacks) just a while ago.

*Long read*

I had my breakup a few days ago. Please read this. [https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/G9WbkrJZv4](https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/G9WbkrJZv4)

Day before yesterday was my joining (my first ever job) day, and I got a mail from her “how are you doing”. I didn’t reply, and was thinking of what to reply the whole time. Then yesterday she saw my twitter profile and saw a report “the only karma I want for people who did me wrong is to meet someone like them”. She mailed me an angry text “if this report was for me, I’m glad we aren’t in touch. As if someone exercising her choice is doing injustice to you. This is the last time I’m reaching out”

I got very anxious and mailed her a long text, that it wasn’t for her and that I was not hurt by her saying ‘no’, but by the words and the tone she used that day.
She called me from a friend’s number and asked me to call her. We talked for 20 mins, and she said she’ll call tomorrow (ie today). She just did.

The gist of both the calls.

1. when I pointed out her words have been very rude, she apologised, though the tone was not very convincing.
2. I asked if she’s talking to someone (arrange marriage), she said “I’m sorry I can’t answer this. Coz then I know your brain will compare and you’ll become a different person”.
3. She said “I don’t want any ill will from you”. I assured her that I can never have ill will for her.
4. She said “I don’t think we can be friends. But we can’t be acquaintances and well-wishers. If something happens in your life, let me know. I’ll do the same. That’s it.” But honestly, this time also the tone was not very convincing.

I’m having mixed feelings. One the one hand, the old chapter is now closed for good. I really loved that girl. It feels sad that the end was not like I was hoping for. Specially the points she mentioned about me.. aisa feel ho raha as if those things led me to lose her.
On the other hand, now I can move on with my life. It isn’t going to be easy, but it is what is needed actually.

I don’t find any joy in living. I am constantly worried about the future. I often regret the past. I don’t think I can handle the responsibilities that come with marriage. I am just starting my career (bank PO) after years of UPSC preparation.
I am very-sensitive (emotionally). Thoughts of ending it all have visited my mind for years, but since I am the only son of my parents (I have a sister who lives far away), I can’t do it. I was doing therapy for 2+ years, still I feel the same. Have been on SSRIs also for quite some time (Depression/OCD). Nothing works for me.

I had a breakup recently [Breakup post https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/bPJrQ03jVB
, and have always struggled with emotional regulation [Emotional regulation (nervous system) post
https://www.reddit.com/r/ThirtiesIndia/s/4SUu6JevxZ], but what I have written here.. it’s not a new feeling. I have felt it for years. It’s just that when I was with her, I didn’t feel this temporarily. But these thoughts have existed for a long time.

I don’t see any way ahead. Tomorrow is my joining day, and I feel no happiness.