u/ItsThe_____ForMe

Does anyone else feel like this?

I HATE feeling excited or experiencing happiness. It makes me so anxious. I feel it amp up in my chest and it is so uncomfortable.

The only way I can get out this excitement is by stimming, but I’m not diagnosed neurodivergent so I can’t just stim all the time. Another way is non stop talking, since I’m likely only thinking about whatever made me excited. I’ve had people break up with me for my constant talking.

Around a month ago, I got so excited over a new TV show, and it was all I could think about. I HATED IT. I HATED my life for about a week, the week where I could not stop thinking about the show. I was physically uncomfortable. I felt like I had to move all the time to get the feeling out. Everyone was so annoyed with me.

Excitement also dysregulates me. I get severe “happiness hangover”. Imagine a happiness hangover after experiencing happiness for a week straight. I get so sad and tired and hopeless.

(Happiness hangover is where the baseline production of “happy chemicals” is disrupted and suddenly supplied a lot more readily than usual. The abrupt change from receiving happy chemicals (excitement), to not, causes feelings of depression as the brain works back to your baseline).

I’m sick of being happy. But I also don’t just want to be sad forever, and there’s no happy medium. I experience emotions as all-or-nothing.

Does anyone else have an issue with forming sentences functionally, or like communicating their thoughts?

I have a fairly extensive vocabulary. I’m a writer, and I’ve been told that I am a good one, at that. But, I’ve realized recently that I really struggle with explaining my thoughts or getting a point across.

Sometimes I can’t find the words, sometimes my brain moves faster and my mouth can’t keep up, sometimes I genuinely don’t have the ability to speak. I get scrambled up or something.

How do I help this? It’s been getting worse and worse, and I first noticed it a year ago or so.

I’ve found myself telling people “I can’t explain it, sorry” and then just changing the subject. They get upset because they think I’m being passive aggressive or something, but I truly can’t explain it. Like rules to a game, or an idea I have, or something similar.

It’s so frustrating and ruins my mood. It feels like the idea is stuck in my head. It makes me feel trapped in my own mind. What can I do to help this?

I’ve been wanting to go rollerblading FOREVER ever since watching a TV show where a main symbol was roller skating, but I was getting in my head and couldn’t get myself to do it.

I finally did! I just said fuck it and put my skates on and went out into the road. I was out there for hours! I was playing music and doing tricks and even waving to people who waved to me.

I’m sure I’m gonna overthink the heck out of this later, but right now, I’m gonna bask in my glory. I love summer 😁

This is your sign to do what you’ve been scared to do. I promise it will pay off.

(16f) I'm not sure if this is the correct subreddit for this, but I felt bad posting anywhere else so.. here's this. Also, I am very bad at keeping a continuous train of thought, so this might jump around a lot.

I've been getting increasingly more apathetic, unmotivated, and just sad overall for the past school year. I have adopted the view that all of my friends really don't like me, and that I'm annoying and toxic because I only talk about myself and am really bad with social cues. So, I have basically lost my friends in my eyes. I've lost every ability to receive any love that's given to me. The word "love" has stopped holding any meaning for me.

I burnt out really bad in the winter season from school and my executive functioning issues, and I haven't really sprang back up like I usually do during spring and summer. Even as school, the bane of all existence, is coming to a close, I really can't find myself enjoying anything or looking forward to anything.

I'm not pessimistic at all, in fact, many would describe me as optimistic. If anything, I partake in toxic positivity because I am so terrified of not enjoying myself. I am terrified of time and memories and death. I am terrified of time moving, of wasting my life. I'm even scared of sleeping because of this.

I get so sad when I think about time moving. I get so anxious when I think about how I am going to have to get a job soon and pay for gas and drive myself places and talk to people by myself (I have severe social anxiety). I honestly don't want to be alive anymore. I don't think I'm going to make it past 18. I feel too young for my age.

But here's the issue, I have these constant mood swings. I'll have moments where all of my anxiety and sadness goes away, brought on by seemingly nothing. It's why I don't think I have true depression. I'll have moments where I am so thrilled with excitement that my veins feel like they're humming.

But also, those moments are actually really overwhelming and it's why I've started avoiding things that make me happy, like my hyperfixations. I feel emotions extremely strongly, and so I dissociate from my personality any time I feel an emotion other than sadness.

I recently got these rollerblades because I was watching a show where the characters roller-skate, and I really wanted to do so as well. Now, I have these rollerblades, and I just can't bring myself to use them. I'm so unmotivated and filled with anxiety. Im just not going to enjoy myself, and that is making me really sad. I've just lost all motivation.

That's truly the main thing. I have lost all motivation to live. I'm not enjoying anything anymore. Everyone and everything is making me angry and insecure. I don't feel comfortable in my body, in my sexuality, or in my gender.

The only place I really feel genuine happiness is in my daydreams. I daydream about everyone and everything, mostly my favorite characters from TV shows. The catharsis I get from daydreaming tops every other thing in my life, so it's become all I want to do. And I know that it's bad.

Is this depression or something else? Sometimes it feels like I'm bipolar or borderline based on how extreme and sudden my mood swings are. I entertained PMDD because I have bad PMS, but there's not really a pattern to it. I'm just so lost and ashamed and sad.

I'm also scared to use SSRIs because I hear they make you gain weight, and I really can't handle that right now. I already have disordered eating and body image issues.

I was reading a fanfic and they mentioned that Thornhill had burned her conservatory down after killing Weems and kidnapping Wednesday, and it got me thinking what canonically happened to the original conservatory.

I’ve watched the first season dozens of times, but I’ve only watched the second season four times. Did they ever mention what actually happened?

I looked it up and it said that Thornhill did actually burn it down, but I have no idea when that was shown or established in the show. I just know Orloff had that new classroom.

I feel like it’s one of the only reasons I daydream. There’s just this tight, aching feeling that only subsides when I daydream.

I daydream out loud (talking to myself, doing the motions with my body), and most of the time it’s really bad, devastating, traumatic scenarios of my favorite fictional characters. That emotional release/catharsis is so addicting. It literally releases tension.

I’ll have the tension all day, and it gets so painful, and I’ll only be thinking about when I get home and I can pace my room for hours releasing it. It is really affecting me, and I feel insane for it.

(16f)

I’ve been having really bad mood swings lately and I don’t know what’s going on but I’m really scared. I’m only diagnosed with GAD, but I don’t even know if this is anxiety or not.

My mood doesn’t stay consistent for more than an hour. I keep fluctuating between highs and lows and nones and alls and I’m extremely terrified.

Right now, it feels like nothing is real. I can’t focus, I’m so restless and anxious, and I want something really bad to happen. Not I think it will, I want something bad to happen. I want to run away for the thrill.

I’ve been daydreaming really intense and bad scenarios constantly trying to reach that thrill and catharsis, but last night it sent me into a panic attack that lasted nearly 10 minutes.

I don’t know what’s going on. I also can’t explain it well. It feels like words just aren’t available in my head. My head is foggy and all my thoughts are going at a million miles an hour. It’s been like this all fucking week and I’m so tired. I just want to feel normal. I forget what normal is.

This all happened because I watched a stupid fucking TV show (HBO’s Sharp Objects)* *that sent me down a rabbit hole of emotions because it is very emotionally rich, and then I just fell deeper and deeper and I lost myself.

I can’t listen to music, I can’t play music, I can barely speak my mind, focus on schoolwork. What is happening.

How do I help this? There’s no one I can go to that will care. My parents are exhausted from life and I can’t get the words out my mouth anyway. It feels like I’m in psychosis. I forget my actual personality. I’m so scared.

Yk the Phoebe Bridgers song Motion Sickness? Yeah.

I hate feeling like this. It’s like, I experience excitement and happiness and then my brain shuts it down like “nope! None of that here! Too strong of an emotion that we can’t control!”

I just finished the show Sharp Objects and it’s all I’ve been thinking about, daydreaming about, talking about. I’m literally suffocating in this obsession.

Before I found the show, I was deep in a hormonal hole. After watching it, I was so excited that I sprung out of that hole. The plot twists were so exciting and so stimulating. Now, I presume, I’m overstimulated by my own emotions.

But, it was TOO exciting. My usual stimming wasn’t working. My usual distractions weren’t working because the only thing that has been stimulating enough to keep me focused is this show. Im so exhausted.

I’m also alone in my excitement. I can barely talk because of how excited I am. I can barely articulate any sentence. My parents are pissed off at me because they don’t want to talk about the show, which is understandable. They aren’t interested. I’ve just been isolating myself. I can’t keep up with basic self care because of all of this.

Now, as a result, I’m back into the anxious and depressive state, but it’s like it’s the weight of the negative emotion, colored with the mask of excitement.

This happens all the time, on top of my already suspected PMDD. I’m so sick and tired. I just want my brain to regulate itself.

My (16f) brother (13m) has moderate to severe ADHD, and he’s been diagnosed since he was 5. He used to be very violent and impulsive as a toddler, and so his teachers forced my mom to get him on a medication before he hurt someone. We have our own hatred towards the ableist teachers, but it was a private school, so there wasn’t much we could do then but seethe in private.

He’s since been in and out of schools for his impulsiveness, and for the schools constant inadequacy to support him. Now, he’s back in a private school, on a medication that works for him (and a schedule that does what it does).

He’s really struggling in this private school. Kids are bullies, teachers don’t understand, and most of all, my parents don’t understand. My parents have been divorced for nearly eight years now, and my mom is supportive enough to keep the peace, but my dad is very aggressive. There’s daily yelling and crying when we are at his house, and I can’t handle it anymore.

It is starting to affect my wellbeing, so I want to intervene, but I don’t know how.

My parents struggle at parenting my brother because he lies A LOT and he has a video game addiction (I use that word hesitantly, but by all definitions of “addiction”). He will do anything to get his phone, computer, Steamdeck, you name it. He has said it, through tears, on his hands and knees, he’d do anything. He’s threatened to hurt himself over it.

With as much compassion as I can say this, he is a manipulative person. He will use his emotions to get what he wants. He knows if he acts severe enough, he will eventually get what he wants. The goal is to help him before he gets to that desperation.

He doesn’t care much about school, and I can’t tell if that’s because he’d rather be on his devices or if he just doesn’t have the dopamine/motivation to start and finish the work. He’s often asking me to help him (at like 10pm when he doesn’t have his devices), and I do.

But it’s just not working, and now he’s relying on me. He’s rebelling against my parents. He’s becoming depressed himself, and I’m afraid he’s going to hole himself into trauma responses or an episode of some sort. I just don’t know what to do.

Part of me wants to completely step away from the situation because it’s not my job to support him, and just let the natural consequences make him fall on his face. The other part of me feels awful and responsible for his wellbeing, and disagrees with natural consequences.

I’m the only constant thing he has between households, and I take that very seriously. I just don’t know how to help him, how to empathize with him, or what to tell my parents (they keep asking me for advice).

Any ideas? Even a personal internal experience anecdote would help. I just want the aggression and fear to stop.