u/JeromeSergey

Ugh, my parents who are very stubborn are getting into trouble.

My very elderly parents took out a reverse mortgage more than 10 years ago. Today, the pay off amount is 800K.

I just took over as their POA. I learned so far about their reverse mortgage troubles:

1. My parents forgot to pay property taxes once, and yet, they paid the full tax in the next cycle. This is one of the ways to breach the reverse mortgage contract: failure to pay the property tax. Compu Link (the servicer) went and paid the tax on my parents' behalf. Then they notified my parents of the breach. I spoke with Compu Link and they said if my parents reimburse them, they would consider the breach cured.

2. My parents failed to maintain homeowners' insurance. This is one of the requirements of the reverse mortgage. Compu Link asked for a copy of the policy. I haven't responded yet. Parents don't want to pay. So this will soon be noticed by Compu Link and become an official breach.

3. My parents failed to make repairs to an old garage building, which has a door that is permanently left open due to broken ceiling and hardware. Inside is my father's hoard of junk, anyone can see it. The garage faces off the side of the street, so driversby don't see the mess. The municipality has issued an order to repair or demolish. But my parents have not done either. This is also a breach of the reverse mortgage agreement: the borrower must keep the house in good repair, has a duty to maintain the collateral in good condition. Compu Link sent agents to the house, and they talked to my mother (so they confirmed the house is still occupied), and also, noted the failure to maintain. I doubt Compu Link knows about the order to repair or demolish yet. But it would not take long to discover the order.

Sooooo: has anyone experienced their parents' reverse mortgage travails? Right now, I am working on my parents' move to a safe living environment. Father is to go to a nursing home (going the Medicaid route hopefully). Mother is to move to a single floor apartment.

I am thinking, I could just let the foreclosure proceed. The house is simply too dangerous for them to live in. Maybe foreclosure is a godsend, an act of god type of event that nudges no shoves them into doing what is safe and wise.

Father wants me to sell the property but he is applying for Medicaid for Managed Long Term Care MLTC shortly and I don't want any profits to ruin his application. Don't think a sale could be completed in time. Also don't think the price offers will be great enough to make selling worthwhile (great zip code but odd shaped lot, plus the trashed interiors and exterior, teardown condition, desperate timeline of the sellers).

Mother is being a pain and playing innocent and refusing to move out. "I'd rather die in this house." For months I have offered to buy a condo for her to move into. I'm afraid she isn't going to feel the urgency unless there is a foreclosure.

Here are some questions for anyone who experienced a reverse mortgage foreclosure.

Is the bank going to penalize my parents for the failure to maintain, the hoarding?

I read that parents can give a deed in lieu of foreclosure, to spare themselves the humiliation of foreclosure and eviction.

The 800K payoff is actually just a bit less than the price of the land in the area. So the bank would be making a profit, since they would sell the land for a million to 1.5 million. So they shouldn't go after my parents. But will they?

I don't think my parents should pay any further property taxes or take out a homeowner insurance policy. They should just focus on their next place in life, nursing home and small apartment.

Thanks to all who reply.

Ugh, my parents who are very stubborn are getting into trouble.

My very elderly parents took out a reverse mortgage more than 10 years ago. Today, the pay off amount is 800K.

I just took over as their POA. I learned so far about their reverse mortgage troubles:

1. My parents forgot to pay property taxes once, and yet, they paid the full tax in the next cycle. This is one of the ways to breach the reverse mortgage contract: failure to pay the property tax. Compu Link (the servicer) went and paid the tax on my parents' behalf. Then they notified my parents of the breach. I spoke with Compu Link and they said if my parents reimburse them, they would consider the breach cured.

2. My parents failed to maintain homeowners' insurance. This is one of the requirements of the reverse mortgage. Compu Link asked for a copy of the policy. I haven't responded yet. Parents don't want to pay. So this will soon be noticed by Compu Link and become an official breach.

3. My parents failed to make repairs to an old garage building, which has a door that is permanently left open due to broken ceiling and hardware. Inside is my father's hoard of junk, anyone can see it. The garage faces off the side of the street, so driversby don't see the mess. The municipality has issued an order to repair or demolish. But my parents have not done either. This is also a breach of the reverse mortgage agreement: the borrower must keep the house in good repair, has a duty to maintain the collateral in good condition. Compu Link sent agents to the house, and they talked to my mother (so they confirmed the house is still occupied), and also, noted the failure to maintain. I doubt Compu Link knows about the order to repair or demolish yet. But it would not take long to discover the order.

Sooooo: has anyone experienced their parents' reverse mortgage travails? Right now, I am working on my parents' move to a safe living environment. Father is to go to a nursing home (going the Medicaid route hopefully). Mother is to move to a single floor apartment.

I am thinking, I could just let the foreclosure proceed. The house is simply too dangerous for them to live in. Maybe foreclosure is a godsend, an act of god type of event that nudges no shoves them into doing what is safe and wise.

Father wants me to sell the property but he is applying for Medicaid for Managed Long Term Care MLTC shortly and I don't want any profits to ruin his application. Don't think a sale could be completed in time. Also don't think the price offers will be great enough to make selling worthwhile (great zip code but odd shaped lot, plus the trashed interiors and exterior, teardown condition, desperate timeline of the sellers).

Mother is being a pain and playing innocent and refusing to move out. "I'd rather die in this house." For months I have offered to buy a condo for her to move into. I'm afraid she isn't going to feel the urgency unless there is a foreclosure.

Here are some questions for anyone who experienced a reverse mortgage foreclosure.

Is the bank going to penalize my parents for the failure to maintain, the hoarding?

I read that parents can give a deed in lieu of foreclosure, to spare themselves the humiliation of foreclosure and eviction.

The 800K payoff is actually just a bit less than the price of the land in the area. So the bank would be making a profit, since they would sell the land for a million to 1.5 million. So they shouldn't go after my parents. But will they?

I don't think my parents should pay any further property taxes or take out a homeowner insurance policy. They should just focus on their next place in life, nursing home and small apartment.

Thanks to all who reply.

Ugh, my parents who are very stubborn are getting into trouble.

My very elderly parents took out a reverse mortgage more than 10 years ago. Today, the pay off amount is 800K.

I just took over as their POA. I learned so far about their reverse mortgage troubles:

1. My parents forgot to pay property taxes once, and yet, they paid the full tax in the next cycle. This is one of the ways to breach the reverse mortgage contract: failure to pay the property tax. Compu Link (the servicer) went and paid the tax on my parents' behalf. Then they notified my parents of the breach. I spoke with Compu Link and they said if my parents reimburse them, they would consider the breach cured.

2. My parents failed to maintain homeowners' insurance. This is one of the requirements of the reverse mortgage. Compu Link asked for a copy of the policy. I haven't responded yet. Parents don't want to pay. So this will soon be noticed by Compu Link and become an official breach.

3. My parents failed to make repairs to an old garage building, which has a door that is permanently left open due to broken ceiling and hardware. Inside is my father's hoard of junk, anyone can see it. The garage faces off the side of the street, so driversby don't see the mess. The municipality has issued an order to repair or demolish. But my parents have not done either. This is also a breach of the reverse mortgage agreement: the borrower must keep the house in good repair, has a duty to maintain the collateral in good condition. Compu Link sent agents to the house, and they talked to my mother (so they confirmed the house is still occupied), and also, noted the failure to maintain. I doubt Compu Link knows about the order to repair or demolish yet. But it would not take long to discover the order.

Sooooo: has anyone experienced their parents' reverse mortgage travails? Right now, I am working on my parents' move to a safe living environment. Father is to go to a nursing home (going the Medicaid route hopefully). Mother is to move to a single floor apartment.

I am thinking, I could just let the foreclosure proceed. The house is simply too dangerous for them to live in. Maybe foreclosure is a godsend, an act of god type of event that nudges no shoves them into doing what is safe and wise.

Father wants me to sell the property but he is applying for Medicaid for Managed Long Term Care MLTC shortly and I don't want any profits to ruin his application. Don't think a sale could be completed in time. Also don't think the price offers will be great enough to make selling worthwhile (great zip code but odd shaped lot, plus the trashed interiors and exterior, teardown condition, desperate timeline of the sellers).

Mother is being a pain and playing innocent and refusing to move out. "I'd rather die in this house." For months I have offered to buy a condo for her to move into. I'm afraid she isn't going to feel the urgency unless there is a foreclosure.

Here are some questions for anyone who experienced a reverse mortgage foreclosure.

Is the bank going to penalize my parents for the failure to maintain, the hoarding?

I read that parents can give a deed in lieu of foreclosure, to spare themselves the humiliation of foreclosure and eviction.

The 800K payoff is actually just a bit less than the price of the land in the area. So the bank would be making a profit, since they would sell the land for a million to 1.5 million. So they shouldn't go after my parents. But will they?

I don't think my parents should pay any further property taxes or take out a homeowner insurance policy. They should just focus on their next place in life, nursing home and small apartment.

Thanks to all who reply.

I have a new suit (jacket and pants). Do you know of a good tailor who can do a great job shortening sleeves and pant legs? My local dry cleaner can be iffy. Sometimes good and sometimes awful. Thanks all!

What if an elderly person doesn't qualify for medicaid for Long Term Care due to inadvertent violations of the five year lookback, AND doesn't have money to self pay for nursing home? What happens to people like this?

I am about to apply for my father's Medicaid for nursing home (he cannot walk or turn in bed), and am having nightmares.

Has anyone had experience selling a house filled with STUFF? This is beyond selling a house as is.

My family has to sell a VERY dilapidated home in a good zipcode.

Family members are hoarders, uggh. I moved out long ago.

Impossible to clean up enough to do a showing. The land has great value, yes, excellent school district.

But no, we can't even take interior photos. No, we won't be able to clean up even a little bit.

I'm pretty sure it's a teardown. It was last renovated in the 1970s, in a crappy way.

I estimate it's 15 dumpsters full, to remove all the STUFF, truly worthless items.

Hello, my family has to sell a VERY dilapidated home in a good zipcode. Family members are hoarders, uggh. I moved out long ago.

Impossible to clean up enough to do a showing. The land has great value, yes, excellent school district. But no, we can't even take interior photos. No, we won't be able to clean up even a little bit. I'm pretty sure it's a teardown. It was last renovated in the 1970s, in a crappy way.

Thus, we are looking for a real estate broker who has seen stuff, and can give realistic advice on selling as is.

This listing is NOT for someone who is going to turn up their nose and make faces.

Thank you in advance!

Hi, I know of a very smart college grad (Phi Beta Kappa) who wants to work hard, as a paralegal, for the right NYC law firm or legal services or government agency.

They read and write very well, doesn't do any social media or AI, very good at research, gophering, and intuiting what institutions, employers, and clients want. And also personable.

They seem good and they have a referral program, where they introduce you to an attorney or Medicaid planner. Says it's a program provided by the American Council on Aging.

Has anyone found their attorney or planner through this site? I am wary because A Place for Mom kept calling me for weeks and seemed scammy.

I read a lot about how to get my father eligible and I’m realizing my parents’ finances are too complicated.

Does anyone know of a good attorney who figures out what families should do.

With spousal impoverishment, spousal refusal etc. Thank you.

Hey all, I am gathering documents for my father’s Medicaid LTC application. How many months or years of bank statements do I need to obtain?
The Medicaid person at my father’s rehab center is on vacation.
Just curious.
Is one month ok?

I used three different computers, and bought the same mattress.

The banner says $650 off a $1500 purchase.

The cart says $1570.

When I click on paypal and get ready to pay, then the price changes to $1990 or even $2000.

I repeatedly cleared the cache and emptied the cookies. It keeps happening.

Dynamic pricing is so unfair. I am not buying from saatva for this reason.

I love the idea of a panama fedora made of toquilla, made in Ecuador. But I hate on myself any white or ivory or light colored hat. I know, I know: light colors reflect the sun, and the toquilla is light colored (though also bleached, so not 'natural' but chemically processed, technically).

But I love the black panama fedora! I don't feel like I'm a tourist. I'm not trying to look like Miami Vice. I think it looks good on me. A few places sell it, JJ Hats, Borsalino, so I can't be the only person drawn to this oxymoron hat.

Is it a bad idea? Is it really stupid? Please let me hear your thoughts!

I was at the Atm and I saw a guy and a woman taking out 20 dollars at a time repeatedly, holding up the line. They didn’t seem to know each other. They just kept holding their phone to the ATM, push a button to withdraw a single 20 bill, then go through the sequence again. We on line waited 15 min. And we were yelling but the two paid no mind to the anger. Finally the guy left with a stack of 20 bills, making no eye contact.
Then the woman left, with her stack, and her 5 year old kid who was standing there the whole time.
Does anyone know what this was?
It was yesterday Monday July 13.

Clearly they were avoiding some withdrawal limit. But it was so weird how laboriously they were doing it.

Hi I am looking for a Medicaid accepting long term care nursing home for my 95 year old father. Southern Westchester County, New York is preferred.

He is in Yonkers Gardens short term rehab now but it seems unlikely he will ever walk again.

If you have recommendations or warnings about a nursing home I would appreciate any!

Hello all. My father is 95 and unlikely to walk again and wants to meet with hospice reps.

Does anyone have a recommendation for a hospice center, preferably in southern Westchester County, New York? The center has to be close to my 85 year old mother who will be visiting him frequently.

If you have recommendations or warnings, all appreciated.

Hi I am looking for a Medicaid accepting long term care nursing home for my 95 year old father. Southern Westchester County, New York is preferred.

He is in Yonkers Gardens short term rehab now but it seems unlikely he will ever walk again.

If you have recommendations or warnings about a nursing home I would appreciate any!

Hello, I have a difficult question about my 95 year old father. Do you think he is a candidate for inpatient hospice?

He doesn't have any diseases. Being 95, he was in cognitive and physical decline, but could walk very short distances. For a year, he has been having fainting spells, and last week, he fell, shat on himself. Suddenly he couldn't walk anymore, can't even get out of bed, can't stand. He can't even turn on his side in bed, or pull his blanket up.

He was at the ER, was hospitalized, and will now go to a rehab center. There are no known causes for his inability to walk, except old age.

He has been telling me this week he would like to die. He doesn't think he will recover. He hates the idea of being in a rehab center for 2 months, and then probably going to a nursing home. My mother is unable to care for him, being old and disabled herself.

My father never complains, is very non-dramatic. He is speaking very little now, except to say he wants to die. He has never been depressed, and is not spiritual at all.

I have never spoken to his doctor, and I don't know if this doctor would have a basis for recommending my father to go to a hospice.

We live in New York.

Your thoughts, please.

I stopped using LoseIt bc of many frustrations. I switched to Cronometer. It's sooooooo much better. (1) cleaned up food names, whittled down to just a few, wow: there aren't 28 entries for tofu or popcorn, and it's very clear whether the entry is for the cooked version or the dry, raw version. LoseIt is an absolute mess with misspellings and duplicates. (2) verified calorie info! Cronometer tells you what the source of nutrition info is, USDA, etc. I hated LoseIt's entries, so often, incomplete or wildly incorrect info in there. (3) portion size given in grams: I can choose one gram as my unit. No more trying to fit into some random person's units like slice or portion, without any weighing! (4) superior interface that can be used on desktop: I started to hate LoseIt's tiny phone screen, with my bad vision, and LoseIt's website just sucked. Cronometer's website is excellent, clear, easy to do inputs.

I am using the free version. LoseIt is so awful. The paid version helped me lose 5 lbs, yes, but it just became so onerous to use, badly designed, and no oversight over user submissions, it was too wild.