u/Junior-Nobody-717

I started college 4 weeks ago and i feel like im stuck in a nightmare. Like middle- and highschool was hell and i hoped college wouldve been better and it is only slightly. It honestly is not even so bad, but my mental health is declining since (self-harm, sickness, depressed etc). I think it might be because i havent found any group or person where i feel comfortable in, i try to be social though.

Anyone else experience(d) this? does it go away or will i feel like this until i graduate? Because i cannot do the rest of college feeling like this idk

Selam Aleykum,

im a Turkish muslim and when i see what is happening in UK i feel sick. Islam is a religion of justice and muslims in UK have greatly failed in protecting children (mainly british white girls). how can they turn a blind eye to pakistani men raping girls? And do not give me arguments that it is racism or whataboutism. I also think it is disgusting how white men go to poor asian countries to rape underage prostitutes and we all know Epsteins cabal is jewish and zionist. It does not make the predominant pakistani muslim men raping white girls and boys any less real.

It is important to adress this as right wingers have taken this to paint ALL MUSLIMS as pedophiles meanwhile the muslims cry about muh islamaphobia. It is quite pathetic honestly. This couldve been a chance for the pakistanis to stand up for the victims and help them instead of calling them liars or racists. I know there are pakistanis who do adress this and help and it is great and should be done more. It seems most do not want to be aware of it

Islam gives death penalty to rapists and men arent even allowed to look or think of women (muslim or not) that way! And we women should always help eachother

idk if im alone in this and that it is just my algorithm, but i see a rise in people making fun of grooming victims (mostly>! comgirls)!<and how adults dating teens isnt wrong on the internet. i see more of these posts after the >!Epstein Files and 764!<getting mainstream. I think pedophiles on the internet are getting more afraid and want to push these ideas to get victims scared of coming forward

I dont want to use or support Reddit anymore. There are too many epstein israeli boot licking users (except here). Does anyone know or use other sites?

i found out that an old groomer (that i dont have contact with for a few years) has a new gf a few months ago, she is an adult. for some reason today i cant let go of the thought and i have this angry feeling towards both of them. i think im feeling jealous, because my ex groomer used to make me feel special but he does that to every girl

i found out that my ex groomer (from a few years ago) has a new gf a few months ago, she is an adult. for some reason today i cant let go of the thought and i have this angry feeling towards both of them. i think im feeling jealous, because my ex groomer used to make me feel special but he does that to every girl

If you suddenly woke up as an attractive woman, would you want to be in a romantic relationship knowing what u know now? Tbh i think my brain has a very skewed view on people that despite me suddenly being attractive i would still isolate myself from others. Id enjoy having the benefits but keep everything else on the side

ive been pretty lonely most of my life. I have had a few female friends but it doesnt last or they are toxic. i dont care alot about relationships with men i just wish i could do fun things with other girls. I dont get jealous at all at couples but when i see a female friendgroup laughing, having fun, i get depressed and feel so behind in life

I really try to get better and be okay. I try to keep myself busy with hobbies and not overthink too much. Yet i still wish to die and feel worthless. esp now in summer it is getting worse because i have no friends and am at home most of the day :(

lately i have a huge dislike for female clothing because they are often skin tight, ugly or show too much figure. Esp now in summer theres a ton.

I have in the past worn my dads clothing to see how it looks and loved it. so ive been thinking of buying clothing from the mens section as they are normal and more comfortable for me, but im nervous of being judged if i were to buy one in the store. I brought this up to my family and they act shocked as if i want to change my gender. I just dont get it like it is not at all weird to me, but they dont understand.

They act as if im crazy and say “well of there are neutral /baggy women clothing” and then it still is too feminine (for my taste)

I feel insane that i still think about it EVERYDAY. Now i am going to therapy but i feel anxious. I have not made any contact with pedophiles in these 2 years (despite them trying to get to me), yet im not healing?? I dont feel like i am. I can handle triggers better now and am accepting some experiences more. I just thought it wouldve been way quicker and id be forgetting them by now.

In the 2 years of getting away, i also realised i have been used by pedophiles online since an earlier age than i thought and that ive been burying that trauma . this suxkks

i really believe that if i hadnt been bullied and excluded at school that i wouldnt have gotten groomed. I know it is a waste of time to think about “what ifs” but bullying at school has been used by my groomers for years to keep me attached to them..

it always started with me being lonely/depressed and a predator comforting me and then taking advantage of my weaknesses. I always wanted to have a best friend and it sucks that half of my closest friends were pedophiles grooming me.

It PISSES ME OFF how the impact of bullying is SO MINIMIZED as if people literally dont kill themselves from it. like i have a very stable and lovely homelife (which im extremely thankful for) yet i flinch when someone tries to touch me or raises their hands at me because of the bullying at school. Whenever i felt bad at school i would go back to the groomers.

I dont have any contact with them for 2 years but i still think of it sometimes

thank God i graduated last week

(My therapist does EMDR and i have gone 4 times by now)
My therapist knows a bit of me getting groomed. In our next sessions, i want to go further into that but im afraid of my therapist’s reactions. My groomers encouraged me to do alot of things that i deeply regret and i have other traumatic experiences from them.. should i really have to go into detail about everything that has ever happened between me and my groomers to my therapist? Does anyone have experience with this