u/KeanuReevesNephew

I'm navigating a tricky situation with my bf. We want a 50 people wedding. I'm willing to be flexible but wanted a wedding ceremony but my bf wanted a register marriage so we agreed to meet in middle at 50 people. And no other event (bf's non negotiable).

But. My parents are extremely strict, controlling and traditional. I definitely have boundary issues with them. Initially we decided on 100 people. His parents were okay cause he somehow convinced them and they are somewhat chill. My family dynamics are really messed up, and there was some timing isssue so i ended up telling it after our parents met. My family flipped the fuck out. Like really bad. My older sibling called my bf and yelled at him. Things got really messy and bad. Our families became on bad terms. Wedding got called off.

But we didn't break up. And our families hated that. Tried really hard to talk us out of it. But we didn't. Now its almost a year later. My parents have started bringing up getting married hinting they will try to talk to my bf. But if he doesn't agree to whatever they say "i have to be ready to breakup" But nah I'm not gonna do that.

Now I'm financially dependent on my parents and in between jobs. I've basically been on house arrest and I'm not able to go visit my bf. I haven't seen him since last year. So i can't fund my wedding.

Even if I had the money, I think my parents would find it very offensive as they think its "their duty" to marry me off. My parents are extremely social and are close with literally the entire town. They wanna call everyone and their grandma. I dont. And they dont listen to me or treat me as an adult. My parents literally says "let the adults talk" when talking about my wedding with my siblings. Because apparently adult means only married people. And my siblings are completely on my parents side.

My sibling gave me big lecture about how they cant face their in laws and their extended relatives if not invited for my wedding.

Me and bf want to marry in presence of both families and with their blessings. So we dont wanna register it without them. Just how do I navigate this... need some big brother and sister advice

They just sent one random pic of a random girl and guy in white Indian clothes and said Indian formal wear. No details.

Do we have to wear white? I've seen seniors of previous batches wear white. I'm a girl. Is a sleeveless saree fine or will they kick me out for that ?? Idk how far these people will go.

My career is a hot mess. I was forced into a field i had zero interest in and hated every min of it. We didn't have placement in college and it was right after covid back then and i was very ditsy...didn't care about career at all. I was jobless for 8 months till i got employed.

My field is not a well paying field tbh. So i landed a job that paid 20k. Boss was very toxic and the job affected me mentally so much. After 1 and a half year i decided to go for masters in a different field under the same discipline.

This field is known to be more paying and unfortunately for me there was a huggeee rush of people transitioning to this field. But i genuinely liked this and enjoyed it. By the time i did my 2 year masters, the market for oversaturated with most people who switched into this for money and jobs were on the decline for freshers.

My uni yet again had terrible placement opportunities. Actually whatever they were providing were not for this field but for related ones and unpaid internships.

I found an internship on my own. He paid me 20k for 3 month total. And then I converted. But now my salary was 10k. Because he had no funding and i was the only full time employee other's were all part timers with full time corporate jobs. I worked for another few months but my family was getting increasingly impatient with my salary situation. It was remote so i managed from home.

I tried to look for other jobs but I couldn't find anything out look properly cause all my time went in this job from morning till night. So i quit. With no job offer. Now I'm working on my resume and skills. And I'm genuinely terrified.

People who took up unpaid internship from my uni, their companies got funding and now they earn like 6 and 7 lpa... I'm stuck with a downward salary growth.

From my understanding my company would have taken another 3 to 6 months more to apply for funding or at least get financially stable and i didn't wanna keep working for 10k after doing a masters degree.

I feel so behind all my peers. Most of them have landed a job and few got placed. I'm not even that bad at my job, i know i am skilled. But I keep thinking what if I hung on, maybe I would've gotten a good pay

If I don't have premium, they literally don't even let you listen to the song you want too! Why tf would I wanna listen to a random song instead ugh!

I cannot listen in order I want.

I have to sit through 1 and a half min ads.

I cannot make a queue.

I cannot skip.

I cannot shuffle.

Heck today i clicked on a song I wanna hear, and it played a completely different song asking me to choose what i wanna play for tomorrow through premium. BITCH WHAT?! I WANNA LISTEN TO THE SONG I WANT RIGHT NOW!

I'll glady support artists but not through this evil platform that makes basic THE MOST BASIC features of a song playing app paid. Heck i don't even think Hehe artists get much money from this shitasss platform.

I'm too fucking petty to pay for premium. Had it for a while but I don't wanna support this level of gatekeeping art.

I'm doing a remote job. My last day is today. Morning during stand up, he assigned a bunch of small tasks. I said okay. I have been feeling like he forgot my last day cause he keeps assigning lot of tasks last few days

Middle of the day he gives me an important the taking but doable in few hours task. I did it. But now all the other small tasks are pending and i feel like he is expecting me to work tomorrow also because its remote. Even if not tomorrow anytime next week or this month to do random tasks. I'm not even getting minimum wage salary.

PS: this is a start up with like 4 employee including the founder. I'm the only full time employee in a junior role. Others are part time in different roles. My replacement has not been hired yet as of my knowledge. We have no HR.

UPDATE: So.... it's their product launch tomorrow and i quit during an important time and he said he didn't get the time to hire anyone new and that he need me to lend a helping hand for 10 days and he will only give me minor tasks if I'm available...

I felt little coerced into saying yes unfortunately.

I did tell I'm traveling tomorrow and that the rest of this month I'll be traveling for a bit. I lied and told him I'm moving abroad while quitting cause I felt he won't let me leave on good terms if I told money was the issue as the company is not funded yet....and now I'm in a whole pickle cause I told I'll be leaving end of the month and traveling in between to different relatives..

I'm doing a remote job. My last day is today. Morning during stand up, he assigned a bunch of small tasks. I said okay. I have been feeling like he forgot my last day cause he keeps assigning lot of tasks last few days

Middle of the day he gives me an important the taking but doable in few hours task. I did it. But now all the other small tasks are pending and i feel like he is expecting me to work tomorrow also because its remote. Even if not tomorrow anytime next week or this month to do random tasks. I'm not even getting minimum wage salary.

I'm UX designer and i joined my current company as an intern. It was a remote opportunity and i was desperate. In this comapny i was told i will handle design of their product all by myself, as the founder was the only other designer. So i joined for the learning.

I converted after 3 months. I didn't get any official offer letter, only that now i got regular pay. Learning was good. But my salary was only 10k since he was paying out of pocket and we had no clients. I converted cause I had no other offer or placement from college. But after product development the growth stagnated and it became sales role. I was unhappy with pay and role. So i quit with no offer at hand cause it became really hard to build portfolio and find another job when i had to do sales call from 10 to 7.

One of my senior colleague asked me my pay and then told me to talk to the founder to inflate and show the payment by a little at least, cause then it will give me also value when i apply to other places and help me. I used to make 20k before i went for masters...I joiend to get better paying job but I hate this situation.

But I'm worried if that will cause issues when I apply elsewhere. Is this a good idea??

I'm from an upper middle class family, and my bf is too. My father has been adamant on paying for everything because "tradition", but doing so means we have to do things they want, my dad even went on to say "I'm paying for the wedding i get to decide" which my bf took big offense to. We both want to wait till we have more money, enough to throw our own small wedding event. His sis I think paid for lot on her own big wedding because she is 10x more successful career wise than me and bf. He wants to do the same but cant and my dad takes it as a "its the job of girl dad"

The girl family paying is the norm here, the couple paying for it is seen as disrespectful in my area unfortunately.

How often is this changing? How much did you guys spend on your weddings too?

Me and my bf really love each other and we have families involved but nowadays it seems like we're just not compatible on a few big decisions anymore.

He's an absolute sweetheart, took care of me, fed me, was there for my hospital appointments when i was unwell, drove hours to come see me, pushed me to do my masters, we always made each other feel safe and secure and we were so beautifully in sync. But some important decisions dont seen to align and we both are just fighting over it a lot and can't seem to come to a middle ground.

All this fighting is making my family asking me to leave him asap. I held on for 6 months but now idk if its too obvious.

I'm afraid of having to start from scratch, that too in arrange marriage as my family is pushing me into it. I have no one on my side in my family. They wanted me to leave my bf from start but because i held on they didn't say much.

I know they'll give me max 3 months to move on and then shove arrange marriage proposals down on me. I'm scared if I'll ever find someone as nice and genuine as him, in such a setting. I was physically active too so I'm afraid of that being an issue too. My sisters keep saying they found such great guys through AM and that relationship are not gonna work out mostly, but she was literally bitching about how her husband doesn't help her yesterday, but i remember the start she was very happy with her husband, he's not bad person but i see a lot of things he doesnt do for my sis that my bf does for me. And I accidentally found out her college bf had cheated on her before....I dont think I can relate to her...we had very different experience in relationship so i dont think i can relate.

I've noticed that whenever periods are close, I have an immense craving for chocolate. No other sweet flavor. I want chocolate itself. My mom keeps telling me eat jackfruit and banana we grow home, I'm so sick and tired of it, no i don't just want anything sweet it has to be chocolate. And I'm not even a picky eater.

I wonder if my taste buds were never exposed to chocolate what should I be craving?? Is there any science behind this??

My bf is very independent and level headed. I tend to people please a lot and recently this has affected our relationship soo badly...I feel like something I said is the last straw for him.

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He was literally my perfect bf, he was so caring and understanding and I feel this one habit of mine got so toxic for him, he said we aren't compatible for this one reason. He's giving me silent treatment for a whole day and I feel when he replies its gonna be a breakup text. I'm stuck at home and I dont have any friends. I'm in my late 20s and in a tier 3 city. My parents aren't keen on us for other reasons. In fact me pleasing them was what drove him to the edge.

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I know I need to stop this habit. But for now I need some comforting. He was my first bf and we were in a long term relationship so this hurts especially cause its not out of malice or other toxic issues.

I'm so sick and tired of my dad treating me like a slave. I want to go for a one day trip with my friends while my parents were planning for a trip with their friends. He told me to join them. I said no, I dont wanna go on a trip with a bunch of senior citizen couples who idek. I told I wanna go with my friend she has been calling me so many times for a trip in my own state. He said "No. No more discussion. You are not leaving home. Either go stay with my married sister or go with them. You can all of this after you get married."

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I hate my dad. I told him to give me one good reason. He said NO. Because he says so. I'm just so pissed. Even if i book a ticket to go, idk how I'll leave from home till station because I'm dependent on him. I hate my family. I know I'm an adult but I get the respect of a 5 yr old. I want to leave this hell hole.

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I feel he's doing this to me as a way of torturing me cause I'm in a relationship he doesn't approve of and want to control me however he can.

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The only time I went for a trip with my friends in my whole life is because I lived away from them and he couldn't physically stop me. Even that took so much courage. Before that all my friends had gone and I still stayed back alone despite staying away from parents because I was so afraid if they would find out i went for a trip.

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I want my life back.

My bf wanted an intimate wedding. I want a small wedding too but I'm not as hell bent on it as my bf. But I want him to be happy. For him small wedding is a non negotiable. And he also has some anxiety issues which he is afraid if it will be triggered at such an event.

When parents got involved everyone started fighting. My parents had hosted my 2 sisters weddings with 600 plus guests. Me and bf thought of 100. No one is willing to budge. Parents suggested 100 people wedding but more people at reception, us showing face and leaving. But we both dont want a reception with more people to compromise and dont think show face and leaving is practically possible. We will be forced to stay for longer anyway by random relatives and others.

Honestly we didn't want to rush into wedding all this convo is happening cause my parents were pressuring me. I'm not employed rn and I'm still looking for job. His family isnt keen on me cause I'm unemployed.

We had a family meet and greet that ended well but went down badly the next day after my parents got to know guest list. We even ended up breaking up for a few days because of parental pressure and misunderstandings. Ever since my parents dislike him and his family me. But now we both have decided to stick by each other.

Except now my bf wants only 50 people. I want to stay by how many ever people he is comfortable with. But he will not budge. My parents have started pressuring me again about wedding and keeps saying they are okay with him only if he agrees to a bigger wedding. I keep trying to put them off saying i need to find a job but this question is there at the back of my head.

We don't want to marry without getting both parents agreement and blessing, we don't want to elope. He is planning to wait it out till they give up. Knowing my parents idk if that is gonna work, they are probably gonna do the same.

I'm honestly so stressed. We both have gone back amd forth so many times and fought over this. He says if I ask him to increase guest list its better for us to break up as we are not compatible. But I think it's stupid to break up over guest list.

I'm in my mid 20s. Got forced into a field i hated cause of parents. Not their fault. They thought it had scope. It does but i was miserable. I did career change and went for masters in a similar field but something I felt interested in initially.

But I just graduated and I'm already burnt out in this new field after an internship. I dont see myself doing this in the long run. But at the same time I feel like I'm not extremely good or passionate at any one thing enough to do it or start an entrepreneurial venture. I'm not good at managing people unless absolutely necessary and I'm terrible at convincing people, so that tells me i might be bad at business anyway.

My bf is very passionate about football and thinks about starting his own academy. I have friends who are very passionate about their field of work, like literature, politics, research, psych etc. I have friends who are very good at their hobby like baking, crotchet, crafts etc enough that they are able to sell it.

Everyone around me has something that they are defined by. But when i asked my friends about me none of them seemed to have an answer. I myself dont know...everyone just told i "dabble in lot of things"....it felt like some kind of consolation trophy. I'm not good at anything enough to stand out. I have no passions.

I've been told that I "know something about everything" from childhood. Which is true. I like going doing random rabbit holes. Just enough to drop random fun facts, but do i know anything in detail? No.

Even when I had to define my strength for resume etc, I do not know what I am good at. I asked my friends, they can't point anything out either.

Even my dad has yelled at me once saying i have no personality....I feel he's right...the things I'm interested in, can't do me any good in life. I was extremely into with pop culture. I did want to go into journalism to be in that industry but parents denied me that cause dad is from similar field. Now I cant do it. And idk what to do with myself.

In the words of Katy Perry, i really feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind wanting to start again

Im 26. I was diagnosed with Major Depression like 8 months back. I had a life event 6 months back during which i was medicated and acted very poorly and ruined my relationship with a lot of people around me. Went to a different therapist after the incident, stopped medications and got diagnosed with ocd as well. I have made progress i havent in years. I live with my parents and while we are on good terms most of the time, they can get overly controlling and angry at the smallest things and so would I and our verbal fights escalate. Few days back I had a fight with them and for the first time in my life I went and cut myself after the fight.

I have always been deathly afraid of cutting and veins and blood. I didn't cut with the intention to kill myself, i knew the item was blunt but it still created a cut wound and i did it because of just anger and rage towards myself and the situation and I felt completely numb while doing it.

I never thought I'd self harm this way. I felt so ashamed. I know my parents would shatter if they heard this. I really dont want them to know. But at the same time in wondering if I should tell it to my older sister before I repeat this....I have a complicated relationship with her as well...we love and care for each other but the incident 6 months back we are not as good as before. She doesn't like with us, shes married and has a family of her own. Idk what help she could be of to me.... but idk maybe the fact that someone knows won't make me do this again? Idk. Havent told this to my therapist yet either.

Came across an insta design page that was offering a luxury designer role, but they had specifically mentioned don't even bother dming asking me if the company will give internship, you should already have a luxury portfolio... but if a designer is good in their craft but had only worked in different domain, and want to expand their domain of expertise, why is this person in the middle being the judge of it, gatekeeping that opportunity?? Why bot let the company decide if they have potential? Idk just the way they framed the sentence felt rude to me.

And lot of designer in luxury industry come from elite universities and stay in that circle through their connection. Why are these people so hell bent on gatekeeping opportunity from people who want to climb up?

I had a huge fight with my parents. I've not been on good terms with them recently, I have been going to therapy for a while now. My parents dont understand it and they don't think it's important but still take me for it. I was having good progress. I easily cry at everything. These days I have learned to regulate myself. But today some convo escalated. I cried till I had panic attack. My parents tried to console me but again things got escalated. I got up went to my room and cut myself. This was the first time, it's not deep but it stings. I'm so hurt and ashamed and I feel horrible. But the moment I was doing it i felt oddly numb and I was determined to harm myself as a way to control the situation.

I need some comforting.

I was an interior designer who pivoted to UX because interior simply wasn't my calling and I preferred doing something more digital.

I joined a uni for UX masters. But placement is bad. Not finding UX opportunities that much. I am currently converted into a full time from the place i was interning at, doing a UX job but they have no funding so you can expect what level my pay is. I have done a certification in Photoshop and Illustrator. But it was long back and now my skills are not great. I can do basic stuff and I have a great learning attitude is say. I'm good with Figma.

I did take up a graphic design gig for one of my friends recently. I made my client custom font and logo design.

It's not great but its a start.

I also got scouted on LinkedIn from a company I previously applied to for UX for a graphic design role. I turned them down citing I'm focusing on UX roles only. Now the placements we are getting is also for graphic roles. My pay is sooo bad I'm getting desperate. Just to get my foot in the industry with actually known companies.

So far, all my life I've only worked with no name startups that have no funding. I did an unpaid internship with a large corporate but my manager didn't seem to like me much and denied me any further opportunity when I tried to apply for a full time role, even tho i knew they were hiring freshers.

I'm also thinking of dabbling into motion graphics later down the line, but I'm just at the very early stage of learning things now.

Should I apply to the graphic design roles the college is bringing as well??

I was an interior designer who pivoted to UX because interior simply wasn't my calling and I preferred doing something more digital.

I joined a uni for UX masters. But placement is bad. Not finding UX opportunities that much. I am currently converted into a full time from the place i was interning at, doing a UX job but they have no funding so you can expect what level my pay is. I have done a certification in Photoshop and Illustrator. But it was long back and now my skills are not great. I can do basic stuff and I have a great learning attitude is say. I'm good with Figma.

I did take up a graphic design gig for one of my friends recently. It's not great but its a start. I also got scouted on LinkedIn from a company I previously applied to for UX for a graphic design role. I turned them down citing I'm focusing on UX roles only. Now the placements we are getting is also for graphic roles. My pay is sooo bad I'm getting desperate. Just to get my foot in the industry.

I'm also thinking of dabbling into motion graphics later down the line, but I'm just at the very early stage of learning things now.

Should I apply to the graphic design roles the college is bringing as well??

I was already spiraling about some work related stuff and personal life stuff. I'm so anxious to the core.

My parents casually said something that triggered me so much it brought back my bulimic episodes again after so many months.

I feel so hopeless and I just want to not wake up tomorrow. And now my long distance bf got mad at me for something I genuinely don't understand. I don't have the capacity to deal with him rn. I have been feeling so alone and anxious and generally horrible about myself I'm not able to sleep and have been silently crying for hours. I've been grinding my teeth for days my face hurts from last while week. I just wanna sleep