u/Kooky_Investment6992

It's the world cup, have a drink, the sun is shining, have a drink, it's a bday have a drink, hard day at work! I need a drink......blah blah blah

What the frick is going on, I can't get away from the stuff. I hate declining alcohol too! It's likes there's something wrong with you, responses are usually, he's being boring, oh what's wrong! Is another. I can't stand it!

Some people just seem to drink everyday, free consciously from any wrong doing! Happy as anything.

To be fair, I am miserable! I'm searching for something greater, I do believe it's not the way, I've done my time being a slave to the bottle! I'm looking for new experiences, a cleaner vision and I mean it when I say my health is important to me. I'm not going to be one of these blind sighted people who blames everything else under the sun for their bad health but the booze!

How do I move confidently in this world with these changes in mindset, to say go and meet new people etc is fair enough but I just feel too stuck in my life to make these changes without it hurting others, how will my partner take it! Maybe she won't love the man Infront of her anymore! Maybe I've become too uptight! Nobody else around me seems to want to change and I'm not saying they should.

It's tough, any advice would be much appreciated! Particularly books on mindset etc.

Whats one thing you will do today which you know will make you feel better

Or what's one thing you've done in the past to feel better that's worked and made you feel better in general.

Have a blessed Sunday 🙏

I went to the pub with some family friends and known associates.

To start I had fun, I thought I can do this! And I did. What followed soon after was deep anxiety of how I performed and the things I said.

I went with people who spend there life in pubs, they just look so at home there. I was like an alien on heat! Why oh why can't I just be, just be in the moment and relax in these situations.

It's not possible for me I know. I'm so guarded and structured in my daily routine it's boring and I need to change! Though deep down I know it's not me 🤔

Just lately I've pulled away from a group of people I was actively socialising with.

I've never been a very sociable person, I mean in bits and bobs. But realistically a couple of hours a week is more than enough for me and I don't ask for much more.

I have a busy working life, tight nit bunch of people I work with and we talk about stuff through the day so I don't feel isolated

Anyway, I lost connection with a group of people because my son has stopped playing football for a team they are all involved with. I was slightly downbeat from the fact he'd been dropped and it felt like a good enough reason than any to quietly disconnect, sounds bizarre right??

I'm stuck in these WhatsApp chats and it's like I'm dead or something, just watching down from above.

I've made the bed so I've got to lie in it I suppose, there's a part of me that still wants to join in,since I was young I had issues keeping and building on social relationships, I just feel socially inadequate in some way and have this looming inferiority complex going on. It's always been there. I don't think it something that can be fixed.

Some people live for it, they thrive for social contact, they like to be in the mix all the time, a WhatsApp requires quick thinking, who wants to do this.... Answer immediately 😂

I feel like I want to be more like them, why aren't I, what's wrong with me....blah blah blah.

Anyway, this is my current thought cycle and it's bloody draining, I'm not sure what I'm doing, feels like I'm a professional at self sabotage 🤣

I was building something good, or was I? I think I'm not really one for the competitive bs and group dynamics maybe!. Was it just to much to quick, I like my simple life, I built it like that why would I want to change! But the niggling feeling is there and I feel like I'm being a ghost right now.

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Please help me unpack my thoughts 💭

This is going to sound like I don't have social anxiety maybe, but all people are affected to different levels.

Basically my son was invited to play in a football team. Of course we wanted him to play and join in so we started taking him to the matches, my level of anxiety was through the roof I really struggled to connect with the other parents there and had mini panic attacks each time we went. Besides all of this, I worked hard to ignore these anxieties and tried my hardest to fit in.

Four seasons have passed and my son got dropped from the team. Immediately I felt angry and betrayed. There was allot of hearsay on the team and whispers between parents about what was going on. My son lost interest and we stopped training full stop. Now the parents are still meeting regularly and playing sports together etc and I just don't feel like getting involved. I'm stuck on the WhatsApp and don't want to be rude but I'm uninvested now, the anxiety stresses just don't feel worth it

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What should I do, I feel like a ghost and it feels like a double edged sword, be involved and fight the constant anxiety or just shy away and call it a closed chapter.

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Most of my life has had situations like this, I get to a point where I just want to run away 🫪

Breakfast - nicotinamide riboside 300mg - TMG 300mg

Fish oil 2000mg 660EPA 440DHA

Vit D3 - 4000iu

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Lunch- creatine 5g.

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Dinner- Magnesium 2400mg

Glycinate, malate, citrate, l-theonate, zinc

Vit b6, vit b12

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Thanks. Any opinions of what to add or takeaway would be much appreciated

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40yo, manual labour work. Working outdoors all year, 11hr days. 6 days a week.

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Weight training, on off. Twice a week 👍

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How do you inject some dopamine into your Saturday evenings?

So I've hit a point in life (just turned 40) where I feel like I just don't have much to say. I feel I'm talking less in general. Getting less excited about things like I used to. Most days it feels like a gauntlet of expectation to perform and just push myself through. I get through the day at work (I work 6 days a week, quite a high stress environment)and when others are using their spare time to connect and socialise I just want to relax in peace and quiet, watch a movie or scroll my phone reading articles or watching videos online.

I don't know what is making me like this, the zest just isn't there. I've got pretty much all the things I could want or need. I have a lovely partner and kids, they're all doing well. It's just a me thing, I've taken the vices out my life, I had an issue with drinking from my early teens. I can abstain without any issues but negative thought cycles and the feeling of guilt for not wanting to get out there and be a more sociable being is somewhat worrying! I hear others, just talk so much, they have so much going on other than work they seem full of life. I'm in a WhatsApp of dads from my son's school they are so connected with one another, doing all sorts of cool things together, holidays, parties,poker nights. You name it, I just don't feel I am so drawn to this lifestyle, commitment feels so draining I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm like the silent one on the group and have made plenty of excuses not to attend this snd that.

Thing is I've always struggled to hold good long-term relationships outside old school friends etc, I've had plenty of opportunities to make new ones and many doors have opened but I always end up pulling out eventually. Now I feel like I'm ignoring these people and it makes me feel really awkward. Cycle repeats 😔

Can anyone relate or share some advice. Thanks

What was the single thing which made you go sober?

I was driving today and suddenly, next to some park gates I see someone I haven't seen for over 20 years! It was a instant hit of OMG it's them.

I grew up with them, shared many a happy time. It was like slow motion, I watched him and his partner walk towards the park gates.

For some reason I just kept driving.

End.

What's your take on my story and can you relate? I felt myself that the relationship has passed and I'm changed now. Is that weird 🫪

So I missed a friends bday, I'm pissed off with myself.

Something which should be a nice thing for me to do I don't seem to be able to just get up and go.

My life is basically, work work work. Any nice occasion which involves any more than one other person is an absolute ball ache.

It's groups of people, I just can't handle all the conversations going on a once, I'm trying to focus on one person and yet I'm also overhearing what the person across the table is talking about.

An insane amount of unease fills my body, I'm counting the minutes before I can ship up and get the hell out of there.

So the party I missed was karaoke. I'm pretty good at singing and like music allot.

I'm trying to abstain from alcohol at the moment too. The combination just made me not want to go.

It's literally the build up, the racing thoughts in my head, my brain creating negative scenarios over and over.

Not going also creates a negative thought cycle, what will they think, I don't like them etc... I'm weird whatever. Some sort of negative spiel!

Usually if I go, I would have fun. But for some reason as I age I just can't find the energy I had when I was younger to push myself more.

I cycle through social times and then reclusive times when I really hold back. Almost like seasons, on and off.

At work I can honestly say I'm the hardest worker onsite, I try my absolute best to perform well and do the best work to my ability. For some reason I can talk to customers and provide a really good communication with them. I'm very aware if someone is not happy with something before they've mentioned it, I can literally sense it in the air and from there mannerisms.

I care, it's feels too much sometimes, to a state of exhaustion. When I finish a job, I'm still running around trying to clean and check when saying our goodbyes.

I'm a complicated being, I just need to change these anxieties. What can I do, I need help, I know I do. I've tried so much to change, CBT, sups, healthy eating. Im scared of proper meds. But I'm getting older now and it's not getting easier it's getting worse I'd say.

I can really narrow it down to big groups, where more than one person at a time would be looking at me at one time. For example, I tried to go to a few poker events, absolute hell. Dinner tables too, any more than two and I'm anxious as hell.

Can anyone relate, how do you guys cope?

Thanks 👍

So I missed a friends bday, I'm pissed off with myself.

Something which should be a nice thing for me to do I don't seem to be able to just get up and go.

My life is basically, work work work. Any nice occasion which involves any more than one other person is an absolute ball ache.

It's groups of people, I just can't handle all the conversations going on a once, I'm trying to focus on one person and yet I'm also overhearing what the person across the table is talking about.

An insane amount of unease fills my body, I'm counting the minutes before I can ship up and get the hell out of there.

So the party I missed was karaoke. I'm pretty good at singing and like music allot.

I'm trying to abstain from alcohol at the moment too. The combination just made me not want to go.

It's literally the build up, the racing thoughts in my head, my brain creating negative scenarios over and over.

Not going also creates a negative thought cycle, what will they think, I don't like them etc... I'm weird whatever. Some sort of negative spiel!

Usually if I go, I would have fun. But for some reason as I age I just can't find the energy I had when I was younger to push myself more.

I cycle through social times and then reclusive times when I really hold back. Almost like seasons, on and off.

At work I can honestly say I'm the hardest worker onsite, I try my absolute best to perform well and do the best work to my ability. For some reason I can talk to customers and provide a really good communication with them. I'm very aware if someone is not happy with something before they've mentioned it, I can literally sense it in the air and from there mannerisms.

I care, it's feels too much sometimes, to a state of exhaustion. When I finish a job, I'm still running around trying to clean and check when saying our goodbyes.

I'm a complicated being, I just need to change these anxieties. What can I do, I need help, I know I do. I've tried so much to change, CBT, sups, healthy eating. Im scared of proper meds. But I'm getting older now and it's not getting easier it's getting worse I'd say.

I can really narrow it down to big groups, where more than one person at a time would be looking at me at one time. For example, I tried to go to a few poker events, absolute hell. Dinner tables too, any more than two and I'm anxious as hell.

Can anyone relate, how do you guys cope?

Thanks 👍

So a friend is having a bday which is fairly local to me.

I've already politely declined but have been seriously thinking about it allot. I had some vivid dreams last night about the party too! My mind is fixated on it.

I have the usual guilt for declining and worry which is embodying me.

I've done this my whole life, missed party's, weddings, you name it! But saying that, I've been to many too!

Right now, I'm trying to focus on my health, stay off the booze and try and get healthy. Thing is I'm not sure if I'm dreaming about going etc, whether I'm doing the right thing. Or why the hell can't I just be me and accept I don't wish to partake in these sorts of things now.

I just want to be confident on my decisions and not feeling an overwhelming guilt for saying, sorry I can't make it, or rather I don't want to make it! Which sounds like I don't like the person

I used to love a drink. I'm 40 now and have been trying my best to clear my head, work on personal development and be a better dad.

I'm finding it hard to navigate my way through daily life without alcohol being at the forefront of every dam occasion, every moment where relaxation or leisure is pretty much concerned.

All my family drink, regularly, heavily, to a point of sickness in allot of cases. I also am sick of hearing people talk about feeling unwell, having health issues etc when their biggest issues are plain in sight their own vices which are dragging them down. I'm not happy right now, when I take the alcohol away, yes mentally I'm less depressed, but I'm angry! Like I think it should all be a miracle cure just taking away the alcohol

I'm a party pooper now and just hate the excessiveness which is forced down our throats on a day to day schedule like clockwork through the media.

People think I'm boring, they say! Relax have a drink we need it to be able to relax.

I really want to beg to differ but the force is strong and it'll only last so much longer before I break my abstinence again.

I feel like a fake, a fraud, like I'm pretending to be high and mighty. But really inside I feel broken and wish for change. Clarity and purity, honesty to myself and good health.

Any thoughts?

Hi Everyone, this is my first post. I've been thinking recently. I've pretty much loved my whole life avoiding things.

Avoiding things that put me out of my comfort zone.

Examples, going away on group trips! So this one has been going on since I was in primary school. I just couldn't handle the idea of sharing rooms, spending so much time with a bunch of people I don't really know to well.

This continued on right through my life, primary, secondary, lads holidays and so on.

Pretty much anything group orientated, activities, bday parties, weddings.

Idk, when I think of it, I've missed allot.

But when I've been really pushed, I will do things. For example being best man at two separate weddings!

I done it, done a great speech if I do say so myself.

I just feel so stuck in my head, questioning everything.

When I'm in the moment, people usually think I'm fun to be around and I've many times been called the life and soul of the party.

I can't put my finger on what the hell is going on!

A little background, my mother and her father had mental health issues, schizophrenia. I was adopted at birth when my mother was too ill to look after me. But was soon reunited. Sounds very bad, I had a good upbringing really, but it was fairly unstable with my mum's illness and going in and out of mental hospitals.

Other than that I've had three beautiful kids and a lovely caring partner! I'm so chuffed with all that. It's just the social aspect of my life, it kinda sucks, but I think really it's the way I want it if I'm honest.

Any advice would be much appreciated 🙂