u/LavenderClouds6

Im having an issue with balancing career and personal relationships (partner, friends, family). I've lived in a couple towns/cities but all pretty close to each other, so my personal life is all in this area. Im employed on a temporary contract at the moment so that will end and i'll need to look for a job else where...

In my experience most keepers I've met have moved a lot of distances for jobs. I know yourself and your career comes first, dont lose an opportunity for a boyfriend etc but at the same time how can I have a successful long term relationship while moving around? Or maintain close friends?

As much as I shouldnt sacrifice a job for a partner, they shouldnt do it for me. So how would I have a long term partner when I need to move for my career? Its not realistic to expect to find someone who needs to move at the same time and places as I do..

There is a few hoarders in my family, especially with clothes and sale items. I moved out, try to keep less stuff because Im tired of having a cluttered space. The problem is, they clutter my space regardless. They panic about crazy scenarios and buy me items for when those scenarios happen. If anything is in the sale, especially when its a branded item, it MUST be bought. I then get dumped with them. I cant reject them as im then called ungrateful and stupid for not accepting these useful bargains. Christmas/birthday is terrible. So much clutter. Replicas of items bought as spares. So much stuff I dont even like.

Ive tried requesting a small few times that will have a higher cost so they wouldnt buy me loads of cheaper items, but it doesnt work. They'll get clutter regardless and also deny my request for a few items as " X number of gifts is not enough".

I am filled with guilt for trying to donate or resell clutter ive given as it feels disrespectful to give things away. I feel guilt for over consumption for not being able to use all the items im given. I feel i cant buy items I actually want because I have too much stuff already. I dont know what to do

This applies to vegetarians as well. Meat-eaters are very capable of understanding why we eat fake meats, they choose not to due to their biases. The common "why do you eat fake meat then? It looks like meat."

If someone says they dont buy from shein because they dont support the slave labour. Do they get asked "why are you wearing clothes that look simialr to ones on shein then?" because people know the clothing isnt the issue, its the company treatment of staff.

Why could someone be against horse racing but not against the olympics? Because the olympics is a choice...

Why do you eat food that *looks* like meat? Because it ***isn't*** meat.

Why do you buy from X and not Z? Because X isnt Z. Its really not hard.

Hours of scrolling hinge, but its so rare to find a man who fits simple criteria: no mustache, tattoos or mullet. They're just not attractive to me, but because they're the trend, ALL the men look like that.

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How hard is it to find a regular guy who shaves and isnt getting spontaneous tattoos whenever he's stressed 😩

Im F22, had been in a serious relationship for 2.5 years (M22) but he ended it as he is confident he wants kids but im not certain. I dont feel experienced enough in life to be certain. I want to live more, learn, explore and grow. I feel I am too young to be expected to know so surely.

He made me feel loved unconditionally, he led me to believe he can enjoy life either way, and didnt view adoption as lesser than biological. I felt I had the loving safe space to explore this part of myself alongside someone else. I felt understood, it was okay for me to not be sure yet, and it could work out either way. Then it all changes, he would never adopt, he wont risk uncertainty with me. To have trusted someone's words so much, to then be told that behind the scenes he has for a long time been waiting for me to confirm id have kids. To hear my uncertainty was never accepted, he was just hoping it would change ASAP, is so soul crushing.

After how devastating and hard this breakup has been, I feel doomed unless I make a decision. I dont want to spend years alone figuring it out. I want a partner, but im scared of dating someone who is fairly confident on either side of the fence. Im worried I'll feel pressure to join their side, or they may pressure me to, or that those people wouldnt give me a chance at all as they need someone on the same page as them. Im scared I'll come off the fence on a different side than the partner, leaving them feeling betrayed and unable to trust.

Finding fencesitters is harder, and its still worrying that once one of us comes off the fence- what happens? Does the other feel too much pressure to?

I just feel doomed to suffer from this same problem again, unless I made a decision (which I know I cant yet and idk when I will).

I struggled for years with anxiety, depression, low self esteem, su*cidal ideation. I healed myself a bit, found a partner who was so understanding, accepting, so so loving to me, so dedicated to me and out future, so supportive of me in my worst most anxious and depressed moments. He helped me grow a lot. It gave me faith in the future, I was excited, I was optimistic, I was looking forward to living. We had the best times together. Told me its the happiest he has ever been, Im everything he dreamed of and more.

Then, after years, he breaks up with me (over texts). Seeming like a completely different person. He was critical of characteristics of mine, complained that im not into rockclimbing like him (a NEW hobby of his) and not as passionately into anime as him, despite our other multiple shared hobbies and interests.

Suddenly I feel so inadequate again. Trust has reached a new low for me, ive never been so betrayed. Believing im fully accepted and loved for who I am, so deeply... to just being thrown away. To not being good enough.

I feel harder to love than ever, and I feel I dont stand a chance in relationships again. Im unsure what I want my future to look like (eg kids) which most people aren't okay with. Regardless of my self confidence, that fact does reduce my chances of a relationship significantly. I dont think I could ever trust someone again saying they're okay with my uncertainty. If the one who loved me so so deeply unconditionally, who had supported me through the worst things (and vice versa), changed their mind.... I dont believe anyone else will truly love me the way I need.

I think typically people stumble upon topics, are intrigued and dive further, and it develops into a strong interest. As you dive further you learn more and more.

But, does anyone actively decide they want to be interested in a particular thing then go and "research" as such?

Currently I feel like exploring and developing myself. In order to do this I feel like I need instructions to follow. Eg people say journaling about emotions, so im doing that. People say to get a new hobby, so I chose a new craft to work on until im skilled. It seems like most people have a favourite sport, or follow a team, so I've decided im going to become interested in a sport. Im researching figure skating history, competitions and controversies, so I have a new interest. Is that weird? It hasnt occurred naturally, im choosing to do it because I think it would be a cool interest for me to say I have, and Id feel more interesting.

So im working towards a career in animal care but in the meantime I need a basic part time job to fund living expense. I have retail experience, and a few experiences in animal care roles.

Is it worth keeping any bullet points regarding tasks of the animal care roles when applying for retail and hospitality? Im aware the tasks arent relevant but do they prove my ability to be trusted with important tasks? Or would it look like i havent tailored my CV to the job well enough?