Tom Lehrer Musical First Act Plot
Scene 1: Johnny is giving a speech in hat and gown, and sings “Bright College Years”
Scene 2: Johnny Jones walks up to the door of his childhood home where his parents reside, knocks, they let him in. Immediately ask about black people on the train, Johnny is lowkey woke about it and corrects them. Call him a commie, he protests, then they shut him up cuz the news is starting.
Scene 2A: Split stage possibly, but jones family still visible, News Anchor talks about racial inclusion before singing National Brotherhood Week.
Scene 2B: Parents get pissed as shit and angrily turn off the TV. They talk about wanting to go back to the confederacy (I Wanna Go Back To Dixie). Johnny Jones is like “I gotta take a breath of fresh air.”
Scene 3: (My Home Town) Dialogue maybe thrown in between him and locals. Mostly empty and bland set, just maybe rolling tables moving through with props corresponding to what they did in the song.
Scene 3A: The Park Johnny is at a payphone, bench close, he puts a quarter in and talks one way to the operator, says some random address. Off stage older voice asks who this is, response from Johnny, asks if he can talk to Marissa. Silence for a second before a similar to Johnny’s age womans voice says hello, he says he hasn’t seen her in so long and that they should go on a date tonight, she says yes. He sits on the bench and waits and the lights go down a bit to symbolize night, checks watch. Marissa shows up, sits on the bench with him, they kiss immediately (or hug, some sign of affection). She asks about college and stuff, asks about the time they “had fun” in the back of his friends Chevrolet after a party when she came up to visit him. They begin to sing a love song (When You Are Old And Gray, ending on “the way I do today”) They kiss again, he checks his watch, realizes it’s late, says his goodbye and runs home.
Scene 4: Living Room Johnny opens the door and greets his parents before being told to shut up, a presidential debate is happening.
Scene 4A: Debate Stage Lights fade on the family and raise on Werner Von Braun and his political opponent opposite sides with the mediator facing up stage. He tells ‘Senator Tucker’ thank you for introducing yourself. Then the mediator turns towards the audience and sings (Wernher von Braun, switch chinese lyric with (und I will win this race) ) with very obvious lines from Wernher von Braun. The opponent just starts blurting out and saying that Werner is not loyal, a literal nazi, etc. Werner calls him gay. Tucker gets defensive, says he’s American, not gay, shows ‘evidence’ of not being gay by pulling out a flag without realizing its a pride flag. Werner is like “SEE? SEE? And as we all know, all gay people are communists! Get him!” And then Tucker is chased off stage and shot. Werner declares that since he is the only one left, he is now president as the same people that shot Tucker bring out a red white and blue sash that says ‘president’ and put a crown on his head like a pageant. All Hail To The Chief plays as lights shift back to house
Scene 4B: Living Room Dad and mom talk kindly about Wernher and how much spunk he has. Johnny is like “bro wtf, he a stupid german nazi chud” genuinely the first like completely serious scene up to this point. They argue again about him being a commie socialist and how he should “respect his country” he tells them to fuck off and he walks away into the house.
Scene 5: In Oval Office with Werner and he’s talking to General Proditor. General tries to get a word in edgewise about what Werner wants to do with the military while, Werner talks about American stereotypes and what he was told in Germany about the Americans. He sings (Pollution). Overtones about hating Americans. Eventually Werner Von Braun gives a straight answer and talks about his nuclear rockets, and how they need testing.
Scene 6: Porch Rocking chair on possibly a raised wooden platform (The Wild West Is Where I Want To Be) The chair slings back as lights blare on her as the bombs go off in front of her.
Scene 7: Johnny is in Johnny’s Room trying to distract himself, but he’s still pissed af, interrupting himself from reading or whatever and just kind of breaking down to an extent. Ends up turning off the light, and getting into his bed. Immediately his parents burst in turn on the light, yell at him about disrespecting them, about how he should love his country no matter what, and Werner Von Braun will do good things for the country. Johnny asks if they know anything about Werner, and they dodge the question but effectively say no. They argue some more, they say he’s grounded, he’s like “I’m 22”, and they’re like “but you’re still my son!”.
Scene 8: Back in the living room, parents walking in exasperated. The mom starts to try to talk about it but the dad tells her to shut the hell up, the 10 O’Clock news is starting.
Scene 8A: News reporter sings (Who’s next)
Scene 8B: The two talk about how the country should arm themselves even more.
Scene 9: Back in Oval Office Werner is throwing darts at a pinboard with a World Map on it, Werner throws the last one as Proditor walks in. Proditor wonders what Werner is doing and he explains that these are all the countries that Werner is going to bomb. Proditor is perplexed, he asks when he plan on doing this. Werner says that he’s going to do it “very soon”. Proditor asks how he plans on launching that many rockets and says they don’t have the resources. Werner makes a condescending remark about planes dropping bombs on hiroshima and says that that’s what they’re doing. Proditor gets close to the board and points at Germany and asks if Werner is going to bomb his home country. Werner says that Germany is dead to him after the reforms. Proditor points at Iceland and asks why. Werner says that it’s because his ex married a guy from Iceland and briefly rants about their life, kids etc. “I can’t wait till she’s dead!” Proditor looks at Werner and says that this project is far far too large for the United States military to do at it’s current state. “Ah, just get all ze men!” “A draft?” “Ja! A draft!” “But sir-” “I said un draft and I mean it!”
Scene 10: Living Room, Johnny and his parents are watching the TV, maybe like sitcom laugh track playing when interrupted by a news broadcast. News Reporter says that there is now a draft, and says that into a segue into a different local news reporter that these names are from the town that Johnny is from. A couple of names get said and then Johnny’s, the TV gets turned off. Johnny’s parents are soooo excited about it and Johnny is just like “no, no, what?” they touch him and he tells them to get off of him and he bolts out the door.
Scene 11: Park Johnny is sitting on a bench, Marissa comes and sits next to him, he looks at her and starts crying and leans on her. He repeats how he doesn’t want to go, Marissa says that she doesn’t want him to go. He pathetically proposes draft dodging but gets shot down by Marissa saying that he NEEDS to go because she doesn’t know what’ll happen to him if he tries. He reluctantly agrees, and walks off as a swelling part of instrumental (It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier) plays off and blackout