u/Logical_Country_2661

I've had chronic on and off paranoia ever since i was a little kid. However in the last 2 years, it's been significantly better. There's still times where I feel occasionally but usually it's not that intense and lasts for only a little bit. Lately I've been REALLY odd about it.

To be honest, I kinda did it to myself. Despite my paranoia, I have a lot of interest in the paranormal. Even though I'm not spiritual. So turns out ALL my friends were spiritual. And they had a lot of paranormal experiences they told me about. I still wasn't spiritual, so I wasn't too scared. Then... At some point me and my friends were talking about weird missing person cases. Those always freak me out. Especially the ones who seem to have the paranormal involved in them. Then I started watching this guy on YouTube debunking ghost videos and while it calmed down my anxiety a lot it also...made me even more paranoid?? But I haven't been consuming this content in a few days.

It started with me being too scared to turn on the lights in certain rooms. Every night, when I have to brush my teeth, I make my mom get in the room with me because I'm scared. I often kinda freeze in fear? Like I get too scared to move and just kinda sit there? One morning I woke up to a woman's breathing. It kept going over and over. I was laying on my bed, too scared to get up. But when I did, the breathing stopped. However I was super paranoid the whole day. A few days ago I also hallucinated my friend talking to me in my room?? And I don't think it was just hypnopompic because I was actually talking to her and didn't realize she shouldn't be there for a minute.

But anyway it's gotten WORSE. I feel watched all the time. I have such a bad feeling about the bedroom specifically. Sometimes I'll outright avoid it during the day. The kitchen too. Every time I enter it I get really scared, and it's like I can feel my shirt being pulled up. I could be having a nice moment, and then suddenly I'll start feeling watched. I always feel like there's someone behind me. If I put my back on the wall I feel like there's something ON TOP of me. I keep expecting to see a man crawling on the ceiling. And sometimes I get these very specific beliefs. A few nights ago I was convinced there were demons in my lightbulbs, and yesterday I was convinced there were multiple invisible men and i had to keep staring at them because I thought they'd come closer if I stopped looking at them. When I first started talking to my friends about these fears they would say things like. "That's so creepy you might actually have a ghost in your house" but now it's progressed to "wtf are you good".

A few days ago my mom told me something that basically confirmed the existence of these things.

Yesterday it was especially bad. At some point I was in the bathroom, and I got hit with the worst feeling of being watched. I felt completely trapped and defenseless, I was too scared to move. Out of the overwhelming feelings, I started aggressively choke myself because I needed to take it out somehow. Then I went back to the bedroom and I kept flinching at EVERYTHING. At some point I swore a demon head and i just wanted to CRY.

I always feel like there's someone behind me especially.

I've had chronic on and off paranoia ever since i was a little kid. However in the last 2 years, it's been significantly better. There's still times where I feel occasionally but usually it's not that intense and lasts for only a little bit. Lately I've been REALLY odd about it.

To be honest, I kinda did it to myself. Despite my paranoia, I have a lot of interest in the paranormal. Even though I'm not spiritual. So turns out ALL my friends were spiritual. And they had a lot of paranormal experiences they told me about. I still wasn't spiritual, so I wasn't too scared. Then... At some point me and my friends were talking about weird missing person cases. Those always freak me out. Especially the ones who seem to have the paranormal involved in them. Then I started watching this guy on YouTube debunking ghost videos and while it calmed down my anxiety a lot it also...made me even more paranoid?? But I haven't been consuming this content in a few days.

It started with me being too scared to turn on the lights in certain rooms. Every night, when I have to brush my teeth, I make my mom get in the room with me because I'm scared. I often kinda freeze in fear? Like I get too scared to move and just kinda sit there? One morning I woke up to a woman's breathing. It kept going over and over. I was laying on my bed, too scared to get up. But when I did, the breathing stopped. However I was super paranoid the whole day. A few days ago I also hallucinated my friend talking to me in my room?? And I don't think it was just hypnopompic because I was actually talking to her and didn't realize she shouldn't be there for a minute.

But anyway it's gotten WORSE. I feel watched all the time. I have such a bad feeling about the bedroom specifically. Sometimes I'll outright avoid it during the day. The kitchen too. Every time I enter it I get really scared, and it's like I can feel my shirt being pulled up. I could be having a nice moment, and then suddenly I'll start feeling watched. I always feel like there's someone behind me. If I put my back on the wall I feel like there's something ON TOP of me. I keep expecting to see a man crawling on the ceiling. And sometimes I get these very specific beliefs. A few nights ago I was convinced there were demons in my lightbulbs, and yesterday I was convinced there were multiple invisible men and i had to keep staring at them because I thought they'd come closer if I stopped looking at them. When I first started talking to my friends about these fears they would say things like. "That's so creepy you might actually have a ghost in your house" but now it's progressed to "wtf are you good".

A few days ago my mom told me something that basically confirmed the existence of these things.

Yesterday it was especially bad. At some point I was in the bathroom, and I got hit with the worst feeling of being watched. I felt completely trapped and defenseless, I was too scared to move. Out of the overwhelming feelings, I started aggressively choke myself because I needed to take it out somehow. Then I went back to the bedroom and I kept flinching at EVERYTHING. At some point I swore a demon head and i just wanted to CRY.

I always feel like there's someone behind me especially.

I've had chronic on and off paranoia ever since i was a little kid. However in the last 2 years, it's been significantly better. There's still times where I feel occasionally but usually it's not that intense and lasts for only a little bit. Lately I've been REALLY odd about it.

To be honest, I kinda did it to myself. Despite my paranoia, I have a lot of interest in the paranormal. Even though I'm not spiritual. So turns out ALL my friends were spiritual. And they had a lot of paranormal experiences they told me about. I still wasn't spiritual, so I wasn't too scared. Then... At some point me and my friends were talking about weird missing person cases. Those always freak me out. Especially the ones who seem to have the paranormal involved in them. Then I started watching this guy on YouTube debunking ghost videos and while it calmed down my anxiety a lot it also...made me even more paranoid?? But I haven't been consuming this content in a few days.

It started with me being too scared to turn on the lights in certain rooms. Every night, when I have to brush my teeth, I make my mom get in the room with me because I'm scared. I often kinda freeze in fear? Like I get too scared to move and just kinda sit there? One morning I woke up to a woman's breathing. It kept going over and over. I was laying on my bed, too scared to get up. But when I did, the breathing stopped. However I was super paranoid the whole day. A few days ago I also hallucinated my friend talking to me in my room?? And I don't think it was just hypnopompic because I was actually talking to her and didn't realize she shouldn't be there for a minute.

But anyway it's gotten WORSE. I feel watched all the time. I have such a bad feeling about the bedroom specifically. Sometimes I'll outright avoid it during the day. The kitchen too. Every time I enter it I get really scared, and it's like I can feel my shirt being pulled up. I could be having a nice moment, and then suddenly I'll start feeling watched. I always feel like there's someone behind me. If I put my back on the wall I feel like there's something ON TOP of me. I keep expecting to see a man crawling on the ceiling. And sometimes I get these very specific beliefs. A few nights ago I was convinced there were demons in my lightbulbs, and yesterday I was convinced there were multiple invisible men and i had to keep staring at them because I thought they'd come closer if I stopped looking at them. When I first started talking to my friends about these fears they would say things like. "That's so creepy you might actually have a ghost in your house" but now it's progressed to "wtf are you good".

A few days ago my mom told me something that basically confirmed the existence of these things.

Yesterday it was especially bad. At some point I was in the bathroom, and I got hit with the worst feeling of being watched. I felt completely trapped and defenseless, I was too scared to move. Out of the overwhelming feelings, I started aggressively choke myself because I needed to take it out somehow. Then I went back to the bedroom and I kept flinching at EVERYTHING. At some point I swore a demon head and i just wanted to CRY.

I always feel like there's someone behind me especially. It's like there's someone attached to me

I've had chronic on and off paranoia ever since i was a little kid. However in the last 2 years, it's been significantly better. There's still times where I feel occasionally but usually it's not that intense and lasts for only a little bit. Lately I've been REALLY odd about it.

To be honest, I kinda did it to myself. Despite my paranoia, I have a lot of interest in the paranormal. Even though I'm not spiritual. So turns out ALL my friends were spiritual. And they had a lot of paranormal experiences they told me about. I still wasn't spiritual, so I wasn't too scared. Then... At some point me and my friends were talking about weird missing person cases. Those always freak me out. Especially the ones who seem to have the paranormal involved in them. Then I started watching this guy on YouTube debunking ghost videos and while it calmed down my anxiety a lot it also...made me even more paranoid?? But I haven't been consuming this content in a few days.

It started with me being too scared to turn on the lights in certain rooms. Every night, when I have to brush my teeth, I make my mom get in the room with me because I'm scared. I often kinda freeze in fear? Like I get too scared to move and just kinda sit there? One morning I woke up to a woman's breathing. It kept going over and over. I was laying on my bed, too scared to get up. But when I did, the breathing stopped. However I was super paranoid the whole day. A few days ago I also hallucinated my friend talking to me in my room?? And I don't think it was just hypnopompic because I was actually talking to her and didn't realize she shouldn't be there for a minute.

I feel watched all the time. I have such a bad feeling about the bedroom specifically. Sometimes I'll avoid it during the day. The kitchen too. Every time I enter it I get really scared, and it's like I can feel my shirt being pulled up. I could be having a nice moment, and then suddenly I'll start feeling watched. I always feel like there's someone behind me. If I put my back on the wall I feel like there's something ON TOP of me. I keep expecting to see a man crawling on the ceiling. And sometimes I get these very specific beliefs. A few nights ago I was convinced there were demons in my lightbulbs, and yesterday I was convinced there were multiple invisible men and i had to keep staring at them because I thought they'd come closer if I stopped looking at them. When I first started talking to my friends about these fears they would say things like. "That's so creepy you might actually have a ghost in your house" but now it's progressed to "wtf are you good".

A few days ago my mom told me something that confirmed the existence of ghosts.

Yesterday I was especially paranoid. I was in the bathroom at some point, and then I got extremely paranoid out of nowhere. I felt paralyzed in fear, I was too scared to move. And I felt so scared that I just. Started to aggressively choke myself because I felt so overwhelmed with fear. And I was doing that for like 3 minutes straight. Then I went back in the bedroom and I kept flinching at everything. At some point I thought I saw a demon head peeking out and I was even MORE scared. Then at night time I suddenly got scared that I was gonna get beheaded ?? Somehow? And I thought it was my time to die soon, since I've always been so scared of getting murdered and that must means it's my fate. Well I hope not. I always feel like there's someone behind me watching me. It's horrible.

I know that theyre pretty different but I relate to them both a ton. So4 has been my typing since the start, but something always felt kinda off about it. And recently I realized how Sp2 I actually am... I recently did some questionnaires and a lot of people seem to think e2 is my heart triad. BUT e4 also disintegrates to e2 doesn't it??

Either way pls tell me the differences between them...

I've been trying to get into psychosophy and so far I've gotten absolutely nowhere. I find it super hard to find my placements because everything feels very?? Unrelatable to me. But so far I think what's most possible for me is fevl.

I asked one of my friends if Fevl and so4 was possible and she said it most likely wasn't. I'm also infj and so/sp. I don't think I could be any other psychosophy type. I can't be elvf because I'm definitely not 2L. I could see efvl because of the placements (even if I don't see 2f too much) but the description is just...not me. I think FEVL is the most likely option since I relate to all the placements. Not too much for 1F but idk.

So is it possible or does it contradict?

Hi, I've been reading up on attitudinal psyche quite a bit lately. However I'm really struggling to find my type. So here's this questionnaire I answered.

Logic

1. How much time do you spend studying and researching? Do you like it and why?

Hm I spent very little time on it. During school, I don't study at all. I only really study when we have a test. However if I was left by myself, I would not be able to study. My mom helps me with studying a lot. I'm very dependent on her when it comes to those things. And even with her, I still have a very hard time with it. We've gotten into many fights because I just. Really don't wanna study. And I procrastinate a lot.

In my free time, I don't really spent much time researching. Sometimes I'll find a random topic that interests me and I will try to do research on it. However I'm a very lazy person and my attention span is really bad so it's never enough. I can never do anything. It's not like studying and researching are not a priority for me. I actually find them very desirable and I often daydream about doing them. But I just can't. I need extra help. This actually applies to typology too. It took me so long to type myself.

2. How many of your own opinions do you form? How often do you do actual thinking on your own rather than just finding an existing answer?

Hhhh not much? Idk? I'm not really sure what would be considered my own opinion. Usually I tend to observe answers from many different people, and I try to form an opinion from them. However I can't observe something and form an opinion without witnessing others' opinions first. I also have a need to be morally right, so I tend to look at what people like me have to say. And I kinda follow that. I would say I definitely tend to look for an existing answer way more. I need to have certainty, and I hate not knowing something. But I also do like thinking on my own sometimes. More so as little bonus. Generally I need some kind of guide.

3. How often do you talk about concepts or facts? Why exactly do you like talking about it, and what do you like talking about the most?

I don't talk much about them, but I certainly enjoy it. I'm not the one to start these kinds of convos, but I don't mind it when others do. I really love hearing about other people's perspectives and opinions. It's something that brings me great joy. Especially if it's from my friends. I'm not really the best at talking about them myself though. I have this weird thing where I feel like I have really detailed opinions, but I just can't find the words for it at all. So I kinda just end up sounding like a loser. And I often find it hard as well, because I feel like I need facts to back up what I'm saying. Even if I know exactly how I feel, I'm not sure how to say it confidently.

4. Do you struggle to think about things yourself? Does it bother you and how much? How well do you handle criticism from others when it comes to your logical concepts and factual knowledge?

I think it's pretty obvious that I struggle with it a lot. It bothers me. It would help if I wasn't a lazy bum and I could actually ask people for help. But I can't. I find criticism about these things really hard to handle, because I feel as if I cannot change. It makes me feel ashamed.

5. Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of you and your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?

It is kind of a difficult topic. I wouldn't say it's a major part of my identity.

Emotion

1. Do you consider yourself a creative person? What do you do that is creative?

Yes very much so. I do a lot of things that are considered creative. I draw, write, make edits, and I'm into a lot of other artsy stuff. I'm also just very imaginitive. Unfortunately I procrastinate a lot so I don't do these things too often. Either way art is still a huge part of who I am.

2. How do you feel about expressing your emotions? Are emotions part of your decision-making at all? How much of a role do they play in your decision?

I really enjoy expressing my positive emotions. I have no problem expressing happiness or love for others. I don't like expressing my negative emotions. I try hiding them and I avoid venting to others. I can express negative emotions in the way of complaining, but I'll never be fully vulnerable.

I actually wouldn't say my emotions are part of my decision-making process too much. I usually try my best to priotize logic over emotion. Whenever something goes wrong, I'm much more likely to seek out the best and correct thing. I'm not the one to just follow what my heart wants. I have a need to act appropriate at all times which is why I try to not get my emotions in the way of that.

However I do think my emotions affect my decision-making. Definetely not too much of a role but still something I need to work on. I'm not too sure on how to elaborate though.

3. How much of an effort do you put into creating a positive emotional influence on other people? Do you try this at all? Do you like exploring the emotions or creativity of others?

A lot!! I'm a very empathetic person. I always strive to make the people around me happy. I absolutely love observing the emotions of others as well. I'm good at noticing very subtle changes in them too. I find everyone to be so incredibly interesting.

4. Do you feel uncomfortable with the idea of sharing your emotions? Do you struggle with knowing exactly how to connect with others on a deeper emotional level? Do you struggle with knowing how to go about dealing with and handling your emotions?

I don't feel uncomfortable with sharing my emotions. But I can sometimes. I definitely feel uncomfortable venting or sharing negative emotions. I do remember though that there was a point in my life where I was genuinely horrified of expressing any kind of emotions. Then I met some people and I became way more comfortable. Idk if that's relevant.

I do know how to connect with people on a deeper emotional level but I find it hard to. It's weird. I can only connect to people that way if they initiate it AND I feel comfortable enough. I can find it hard to fully connect sometimes as well. Maybe because I'm too self-absorbed.

I definitely have a hard time dealing with my emotions. I always have really strong feelings and I don't know how to handle them. I usually just try to distract myself.

5. Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?

I enjoyed them yeah. It's definitely a major part of who I am, and no it's not a difficult topic.

Physics 

1. How much time and energy do you put into your physical health? Do you try new healthcare or self-care products often? How often, and what kinds of products do you like trying?

I don't think I really spend time or energy to my physical health. I have very unhealthy habits that I find hard to change. No I don't try healthcare or self-care products. I actually don't even know what those really are.

2. How much do you care about your physical appearance, including fashion choices, or decorating the physical environment for comfort? Do you like exploring the physical environment (food, nature, architecture, etc), or doing physical activity?

This is a tough question. Sometimes I will care about my physical appearance intensely. I'll constantly complain about how gross and ugly I look. Last year I was really trying to better my appearance (but failed miserably). But recently I haven't cared about my physical appearance. I don't try to better it anymore. However I don't think this is a personality trait I developed but rather just me being...drained? And even now, I still refuse to go outside sometimes thinking I look bad. I also tend to obsessively brush my hair a lot when in public. But I'm also scared of changing my appearance and trying to make myself look pretty because that would bring attention to me.

I like exploring the physical environment! Do I do it much? Not at all. But I do enjoy it a lot when I do. I hate doing physical activity if it's like exercising, but I enjoy walking.

3. Do you like talking about your personal tastes often? How often do you explore the personal tastes of others? What about your own health or the health of others? Do you like creating or exploring comfortable environments with others?

I love it!! I think personal tastes are huge parts of people's identities. I always love loveee hearing about people's tastes. I like talking about mine too. I don't talk about my health at all? Sometimes I'll randomly mention it but even that's rare. I talk to others about their health a little more but it's mostly about their mental health. I like creating comfortable environments with others yeah.

4. Do you stress about what people will think regarding your personal tastes? Do you prefer to follow fashion trends in worry that people may judge your own style? Do you worry about being sick or in poor physical health often? Are you able to take criticism about your health, aesthetic choices, personal tastes, or physical appearance?

Kinda? Sometimes I'll mention a game I like and if I see that others dislike it, I'll start worrying that they might see me differently now. I am worried that people might judge my personal style, but no I don't even follow fashion trends. That's just as scary for me. I just wear whatever I have.

I used to worry about my physical health a lot. So much so, that I would constantly get instrusive thoughts about it. I used to get triggered when i saw the word cancer. I would constantly ask my mom for reassurance that I'm not sick. However these days I don't worry about it at all. I do wanna change it but I can't be bothered. I don't care.

I'm able to take criticism for my health. For the other 3 though? Not really..?? Those are all subjective things and I don't see why people would criticize me for them.

5. Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?

It was okay. Not a major part of who I am, but up there. Very neutral.

V (Volition)

1. Do you know how to get what you want? How much effort do you put into figuring out how to get what you want? Do you just take action and get started, do you plan, do you research or try to get advice from others?

I know how to get what I want. I know many ways to get what I want. I do put in some effort to figuring out how, but usually I already know. I try to get advice from others, research and plan first. However I also can never get myself to do half of these points so... I never end up actually getting what I want. I do sometimes take action though. And it goes nicely.

2. How often do you feel motivated to work on your future? How often are you busy working on a goal for the future? Do you prefer routine, or often fall into routine? Is your routine making progress on a goal? What makes you change your routine? What makes you start working on a goal?

I find it extremely hard to picture a future for myself. I'm not the kind of person who can just commit to one thing. I have tons of dream jobs and goals for it. Which makes it hard for me to have a clear set on goal. Often, I get worried that I'm never gonna find a stable way of living because of this.

I definitely fall into routine. Which sucks because I hate routine.

What makes me change my routine?? I don't know, sometimes I'll just magically have a bit more energy. I need excitement I guess. Or just any strong feelings. Same for working on a goal. I need strong feelings.

3. Do you like guiding or helping people reach their goals? What kinds of goals do you prefer to help people with? Are you a leader, or do you prefer to work in groups where you're an equal? How and when do you take charge, if ever?

Ironically yes I do really enjoy helping people with their goals. For example me and my friends have been wanting to make a visual novel and I've been the one helping out the most!! I enjoy helping people with their goals in general. I like providing support and giving them advices. I heavily prefer working in a group where I'm an equal. I don't ever take charge, I'm not fit for it.

4. Do you overwork yourself? Do you worry that you might be lazy or that you aren't progressing quickly enough? Does it feel impossible to find the right method forward? Are you able to take criticism over your choices for working towards your goals? How do you respond to being challenged?

I think it's obvious I don't overwork myself. I can only overwork myself socially but that's about it. I always worry that I'm lazy and that I'm not progressing quickly enough. I wanna fix it so bad. And I do try to but I haven't actually made any progress.

I think I respond to criticism well enough. I'm always willing to be mature, and I do try to better myself. However it might freak me out at first.

5. Did you enjoy answering the above questions? Would you say this is a major part of who you are or your identity? Was it boring? Is it a difficult topic?

I enjoyed it but it is kind of a difficult topic. Definitely not boring. I think this is also a major part of my identity.

Credits to BrousHaus for the questionnaire!!

I want my tritype specifically, but just my core enneagram would also be fine!!

1. If you're feeling negative emotions, do you show those emotions to others? Do you let your feelings out, do you try to look on the bright side, or do you put them down and aside so that you can be logical?

When I'm feeling negative emotions, the last thing I do is show them to others. Sometimes I'll show them but it will be in very purposely exaggerated ways like... "I'M SO SAD 😢😢😭" because I don't know how to be properly vulnerable with people. But even that's somewhat rare, since I usually try to act like nothing happened. For how I cope with them, depends entirely on what those negative feelings entail. Sometimes I'll start daydreaming and pretend that I'm a fictional character, and romanticize everything and imagine myself in edits, etc... Sometimes I'll dwell in those emotions bcs I have this weird masochism and seek them out even more. Sometimes I analyze them because I'm really into psychology and I wanna know what's wrong with me. But what I think I tend to do the most, is try to distract myself. I usually talk to people, play games(especially ones that need social interaction), or just do anything to keep my mind busy and stimulated. Sometimes on very very rare occasions, I'll find someone I trust and express my negative feelings through complaining. But again...not in a very vulnerable way.

2. When you are your worst self, what are you like and what's driving that?

When I'm at my worst self.. I don't know what that would be. I've been hiding my emotions a lot since I was a kid, and I also try to act moral and appropriate at all times. So that kinda makes it harder for me to say what my worst is, because well. That's what Ive been avoiding.

I guess at my worst I'm depressed, masochistic, refusing any help, hiding my feelings completely, reducing my personality to being just what everyone wants me to be aka their personal cheerleader, hopeless, paranoid, self-absorbed, envious, passive, etc...

3. What’s your biggest strength? What’s your biggest flaw?

I think my biggest strength is my curiosity and love for people. The moment someone shows the slightest of friendliness towards me, my interest in them peeks. And I start trying to engage more and more. I've come to realize I care a lot more about people I just met than they do for me. I immediately start wanting to become best friends with them and I really do try to befriend them. I'm also very friendly and apparently easy to talk to. I'm actually really proud of that. My biggest flaw.... I don't know honestly. I guess me being self-absorbed? I'm very obsessed with my feelings, my interests, my needs, etc which doesn't leave a lot of room for me to fully think about other people. For example I've always had this need to be different from other people. I'm exactly like those people who wanna be different. Sometimes a friend of mine will vent to me and I'll feel envious of their pain. I often feel envious of the bad things that happen to others and I do feel bad about it. This has just been something I've had ever since I wss a kid. But a better example... I'm very bad with making close friends because of this self-absorbness. I never text anyone first because I'm too preoccupied with myself. I also find it hard to emotionally emphatize with people because of that. And I am very capable of emotional empathy. I tend to rank the people around me based on how much they entertain me. If somebody doesn't give me constant dopamine, theyre kinda nobody to me. If I get cut off by someone who doesn't entertain me, then I won't miss them. I can be inconsiderate and hypocritical. There was also a time period in which i couldn't stop shittalking my own friends. And I was doing it for fun? Because I thought of shittalk as a bonding and a stimulating experience. But I also genuinely didn't know it was considered a bad thing to do to be fair. I would always think of it as 'just venting'. HOWEVER I do often have some people I consider to be exceptions to this. I have this one friendgroup that I do care about a lot, and I can emphatize with them and I'm a lot more loyal.

4. When you are getting in your own way, what does that look like and why does it happen?

Hmmm. When I get in my own way, is when I self-sabotage I guess? I chose not to cut off people who hurt me, I reduce my personality to again just being a people pleaser(which I specifically do to avoid making closer connections), I'm unable to indulge in any of my hobbies I have to put in the work, I struggle making decisions on my own... It happens because I'm too lazy and unmotivated I think. Like that's literally just it.

5. What are your behaviors that cause you to get into conflict with other people?

Very hard question because I never get into conflict. But I think most of the conflicts I've been in are because of my shittalking/gossiping/sharing things I shouldn't. One time I got confronted by my friends because I shared their chats to a person that was kind of considered a threat. Another time I got in trouble for kindaaa homewrecking my ex's new relationship(I didn't intentionally do it though, I just genuinely didn't understand romantic love and the rules of it) and for talking a lot of shit about her while dismissing it as 'just venting'. Another time I got in trouble for shittalking my whole friendgroup to our mutual friend who was grounded for months. Those friends had really hurt me to be fair but it wasn't even all of them. Yet I still decided to talk shit about every single one of them and i was very nitpicky about it too. I led that friend to believe that they were all two faced and narcissistic, and then proceeded to allow that friend to insult them. I definitely learnt my lesson though, since I immediately regretted it afterwards.

6. What's the worst thing that could happen to you, and why are you afraid of it?

Probably being a bad person. Not just a bad person but doing something that makes me completely irredeemable. Something that leaves me with having no way of redeeming myself, and the only way out being well...death. Honestly I don't really know if it's that I don't wanna be a bad person or if it's that I don't wanna be SEEN as a bad person. I'm scared of it because people would view me differently, and worse case scenario leave me. Or hurt me. I've always had this need to be seen as good, which is why I strive to act appropriate at all times. It's one of the reasons why I don't like being vulnerable. Because I feel like it would be inappropriate and I would be burdening people. Everytime I do something even slightly bad, I completely freak out. Like I remember this one time, I left my now ex gf on seen, and when she woke up she got MAD. And I just went into complete panic, and I started apologizing over and over and saying she deserved better. Because at that moment I was genuinely convinced I deserved to die and she was going to leave me. (And she was my main source of entertainment back then) Or an even sillier example... One time I was talking to friends I had just met. And we were talking about this show, and telling each other our fav characters. They both HATED my fav character, and understandably so since he's a terrible person. And usually I'm used to people hating him and don't mind it. But at that moment, my mood completely flipped. I was in complete panic. I was convinced I deserved no human rights and nobody would feel bad or sad for me if I got brutally killed. But yeah. Being irredeemable would be the worst thing to ever happened to me. It would make me trapped and I wouldn't be able to do anything. I would have to dissapear. If I had to describe it, it feels like trapped in a jailcell with handcuffs on, and the only thing you could do is wait until someone comes in and kills you. Sometimes when I make a small moral mistake, I get paralyzed in fear and I get too scared to move or do basic bodily functions. Funnily enough this is the exact same way I react like when I get into a paranoid episode, thinking that there's people in my house and they're gonna kill me. I'm also very scared of the unknown.

7. What sets you off, makes you angry?

Another very hard question... I get angry VERY rarely. Somebody could brutally insult me and I wouldn't get angry. When somebody treats me like shit, I'm more likely to get sad or stressed rather than angry. I guess... Seeing my friends hurt by someone gets me angry. However this only applies to my exception friends AND the friends who give me the most dopamine at the moment. I also get angry at bigotry but that depends. If it's a type of bigotry that's universally known as bad I'm less likely to get angry (obviously it would still make me extremely upset either way) but if it's a type that most people are uneducated on, I'd be FUMING. For example ableism towards demonized mental disorders. Particularly stuff like npd, arfid etc... Seeing people dismiss child abuse as discipline is also something that gets me very angry. Also seeing people think that a child should always obey authority figures. I also get angry at people who make innapropriate jokes excessively. People who don't know when to stop. But again I get angry super rarely anyway.

Every time I've asked this, I just get "oh e5 hides, e6 follows and e7 runs!!" But that...doesn't really explain much? Can I get a more detailed answer?

If the 3 got into a stressful situation, how are they most likely to react?

I know the core differences of the two but I feel like they can overlap. They both try to distract themselves from their pain, and they're quite hedonistic.

So I'm genuinely curious on how to tell if a trait is more e9 or e7?

I particularly wanna know my tritype. But if it's too hard to tell, then just the core is fine too. I apologize for my bad grammar in advance I was too lazy to reread this and edit it

Questions for E1

1. Do you have an inner voice – akin to a tape recorder in your head – that continuously criticizes you (90% of the time or more) for what you do wrong and sometimes applauds you when something goes exceedingly well?

Yes absolutely. I have very high morals. They don't apply to other people as much as they do to myself. I'm always aiming to act appropriate and moral at all times. Whenever I do something wrong I tend to freak out. It makes me feel irredeemable and I need a minute to calm down. Whenever I do something right, I get an ego boost. I start feeling really happy, and it makes me feel as if I'm being good.

2. Do you have a constant need for self-improvement, while knowing that no one will ever be perfect, not even you?

Yes. The fact that I can never be truly perfect, and I'm bound to always make mistakes truly scares me. I know that being a good person is a journey that never ends. And that's horrifying to me.

3. Do you have a very hard time relaxing, having fun, and getting away from your responsibilities unless you are on vacation?

Hmm.. No? Yes? I do have a hard time relaxing and fully having fun. However that's just because of anxiety. I always ditch my responsibilities, and prioritize the fastest way I can get dopamine instead.

Questions for E2

1. Do you intuitively know what someone else needs but have a hard time articulating your own needs, even to yourself?

Oh absolutely. I'm very good at noticing how other people feel even when they don't vocalize it. It's really easy for me to spot when someone is upset and I know when to stop. I definitely have a very hard time articulating my needs. I find it incredibly hard to set boundaries, because I can never realize that my needs are well. Really needs. I have this weird mindset... I want people to be able to read my mind and naturally see I'm upset. I feel like if I set boundaries myself, it will feel forced and the person won't be as comfortable around me.

2. If you’re completely honest, do you believe that you can get almost any one to like you if you really want to?

...Yes. I often think that everybody hates me and no one will truly love me, but. I'm not stupid. I am in fact likeable. There is not a single person who dislikes me. I've had multiple people be obsessed with me and tell me they've never loved somebody as much as me before. Getting people to like me is a priority I've had since i was a kid. So yes I do think I can almost anyone to like me if I really wanted to. I've had people dislike me at first meeting, but we'll always end up on friendly terms afterwards.

3. Do you feel really good when others respond to you in the way that you most want, but particularly deflated when this does not occur?

.. Idk?? I do feel absolutely amazing when somebody responds to me the way I want to. I don't know if I feel too deflated when it doesn't occur. But it depends on what that means. Sometimes I can be very deflated and childishly upset but at other times I'm completely fine about it.

Questions for E3

1. Do you do the things you do to impress others so that they will value and respect you?

I think to an extent yeah...but I can't think of an example at the moment.

2. Are you so busy “doing” things that you don’t even know what simply “being” means?

What the fuck does that mean ❓ if it means what I think it does, then yeah.

3. Do you avoid failure by engaging only in activities you will be good at, focusing on goals and making sure you achieve them, and reframing failure by calling it “a learning experience”?

Yes and somehow I didn't realize this until now LMAO. This is literally half the reason why I stopped doing all of my hobbies. Take art as an example. While I don't think my art is bad (I actually like my art style), I avoid actually drawing because i'm not good at anatomy. I've only made just a few drawings in the last couple of years, because if I see that I'm doing bad I'll stop everything I'm doing. Same also happens with writing. I do usually reframe failure as a learning experience as well.

Questions for E4

1. When you feel something very strongly, do you hold onto your emotions intensely for extremely long periods of time, constantly replaying your thoughts, feelings, and sensations?

Yes. I'm addicted to my strong feelings. I'm kinda self-absorbed because of that. I've been a bit better nowadays since I actually found a friend group i really love, but before it I was extremely self absorbed. All i was thinking about was myself and MY feelings. I constantly replay thoughts and feelings.

2. Do you think of melancholy as a pleasurable experience?

Yes. Ever since I was a kid, I've had a tendency to seek melancholy. However my ability to stay upset used to be pretty low, so I never got enough. Nowadays melancholy has been my main emotion. At some point I didn't wanna get better at all. I was crying every day and I was in horrible emotional pain. I hated it but I loved it. Now I'm better. But I miss it. I wish I could cry again. I'd take sadness over anxiety any day.

3. Do you continually search for deep connections with others and feel distraught when these connections become severed?

Yes. I don't act on it too much but I have a very big need for deep intimate connections. Usually I work best in friend groups though. I always wanna be super close to everyone. Though if I'm being honest I've never really had any close friends despite this. Usually the main thing I focus on in friendships is just having fun with them. But yeah on the rare occasions where I'm close with somebody, I get extremely distraught when they become severed. I have acted completely hysterical about it.

Questions for E5

1. When a situation gets emotional, intense, or overwhelming, do you automatically disconnect from your feelings of the moment and then reconnect with some of these later, at a time and place of your choice?

Yes..i think? I often feel very disconnected from my intense feelings. There will be times where I become completely disconnected from them and become unable to comprehend that any of this is happening. And then I'll get hit with them randomly.

2. Do you observe life rather than being fully engaged in it?

Yup. This more so applies to irl. I have no desire to engage in it at the moment. Though I don't know if that counts because I wasn't like this at all before I developed social anxiety... And online I'm very active I think? Though I don't tend to engage first, it's other people who usually make the first step. I don't know

3. Do you create an invisible boundary between yourself and others so that other people understand they should not approach you unless invited to do so?

... No?

Questions for E6

1. Do you constantly anticipate multiple scenarios, thinking about what could go wrong and trying to plan so that this will not occur?

Yes. Yes. This is just something I've been doing for ever since I can remember. I am constantly anticipating scenarios. I'm horribly paranoid. Do I plan though? Ehh..

2. Do you have strong positive or negative reactions to authority figures and challenge them when you are concerned?

Yes..? I do have strong feelings towards authority figures. I either LOATHE them with my whole being or I idealize them. I'd never act on it though. I hate it when they think they know better than me or think they can treat me in certain ways because they're older. I also hate it when they infantililize me. But when they treat me nicely(especially when they show favouritism towards me) and seem to have strong opinions... Yeah I'd idealize the shit out of them.

3. Do you project your thoughts and feelings onto others, having difficulty discerning whether something is really occurring or whether you are creating it in your mind?

Oh absolutely. I'm incredibly hyperviligant. Which is why I'm also good at sensing others' emotions. People tell me it freaks them out on how I can just notice they're upset. But the truth is I'm just really projecting my own thoughts. Every time I see a slight change of tone in somebody, I think they're mad at me or that I've done something wrong. I'm also good at noticing tension between other people. But yeah a lot of other times, I really am I just being irrational.

Questions for E7

1. Do you continuously seek new and stimulating people, ideas, or events to keep life exciting, adrenalized, and forward moving?

Yes. There's a reason why I don't have any close friends. It's because I'm constantly seeking out new people. My care for my friends depends on how much they entertain me. Most people tend to get boring to me after a while. I also do this with projects I make, interests, games etc... I find it really hard to picture a future for myself, because of these weird commitment issues I have.

2. Do you avoid pain and discomfort whenever possible, using your mind to conjure up new possibilities and plans and to reframe negative situations so they can be seen as positive?

Yes? I know I talked a lot about melancholy being a pleasurable experience for me, but that's because it's not uncomfortable or painful in THAT way. However feelings like anxiety, anger, fear, guilt are all painful and uncomfortable for me. I try to avoid them as much as possible. Ive always avoided my negative feelings by stimulating myself and just. Trying to act as if they aren't there. I do often try to look at the positive sides of them.

3. Do you have trouble sustaining your focus on work projects, people, and conversations without a considerable amount of effort on your part?

Yes. I can't keep my focus on one thing at all. There have been so many occasions where I've started projects, then left them unfinished and started another one. And this is kinda a cycle. I already talked about how it affects my relationships with people. Oh and with conversations definitely. I tend to dissapear from convos a lot. I always get distracted, go to do something else and come back hours later. People hate that I do this as well. But like I said before, I rank my friends based on how much they entertain me... And if someone is not an active source of dopamine for me then. Then honestly i have zero desire in talking to them. And I don't understand why they wanna talk to me.

Questions for E8

1. Do you have an extraordinarily strong and bold exterior, one that is sometimes intimidating to others (intentionally or unintentionally) but that hides a less visible but highly vulnerable interior?

Nope

2. Do you tend to be excessive in what you do – for example, exercising two to three hours a day for a week but then not exercising for a month, or deciding that if one piece of chocolate cake is good, then eating the whole cake is even better?

Nooo.

3. Do you have immediate impulses to take strong and forceful action, particularly when you are feeling anxious or vulnerable?

I don't think so?

Questions for E9

1. Do you automatically blend or merge with other people’s positive energy but get distressed when you are around negativity, anger, and conflict that can’t be resolved?

I think so yeah? If the energy is happy and positive, I'm prone to be positive too. Not at all times though. Definitely distressed around conflict. Though I guess it kinda depends... If I'm not involved in the conflict at all, then no not really.

2. Do people find you easy to approach and nonjudgmental in almost all circumstances?

... Yes. I've had a lot of people specifically wanting to befriend ME. When we get closer, and I ask them why, the answer is always "You seemed nice". And yeah. I attract a lot of toxic people as well. Even people who are very quick to cut people off keep me around. It's probably because I tend to avoid conflict.

3. Do you have great difficulty expressing your opinions, particularly if they may be controversial in some way?

Yes yes absolutely. This ties back into me needing to act 'right' at all times. I always get scared that my opinions might be controversial. However when i see that people have the same opinions as me, I get more comfortable.

This has been my biggest typology crisis for some reason. I asked a bunch of my friends for an opinion as well. Half of them told me I'm definitely e6 fixed and they could even see me being sp6 as my core, and the other half said I was definitely e7 fixed. I've considered both of those being my core too. In e6, I only really relate to sp6, but in e7 I relate to all 3 subtypes I think.

I think I could be e6 because I overthink a lot, I think all the time. (However I'm not really thinking about what can happen, but rather about what certain things mean? Like tone changes etc) I'm also a very dependent person, I'm indecisive, I find it hard to make decisions on my own, I'm full of anxiety, I'm very hyperviligant and can be irrational etc...

However. I'm also VERY naive and and easily trusting. I deal with anxiety by distracting myself with fun things or by romanticizing stuff. I'm not loyal at all, I'm actually pretty disloyal and I often rank my friends based on how much they entertain me. I have horrible commitment issues and I can never keep my mind to one thing at a time. I'm also scared of vulnerability because I can't handle uncomfortable feelings. I find it extremely hard to sit in uncomfortable feelings in general which is why I try to avoid it all costs. I'm also surprisingly optimistic, because despite my core being so4, at the end of the day I have this very naive mentality that everything will turn out okay and be all sunshines and rainbows.

Pls. Help

I've always been incredibly lazy. Usually this doesn't bother me too much, but it's starting to affect my interests as well.

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Before I would spend every day, watching shows, playing games, consuming media etc. I was still bothered even then because I couldn't do any of my hobbies. I really wanted to write or draw. But I just couldn't get myself to do it. At all. There have been times where I've tried. I've done research on how to stop being lazy. And I've tried. But nothing ever works. Maybe I'm just not committed enough.

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And now I can't even do anything. There's so many things I need to watch and finish. But I can't, I keep procrastinating. All I do all day is just either text my friends or daydream or doomscroll. I have such a bad daydreaming problem actually. There's also been these books I've been really wanting to read. I've tried many times. I managed to almost finish one but that's about it. I couldn't read any of the others. Yesterday I was trying to read one but I just couldn't. I was getting so bored and restless that it started to physically hurt. I don't know it makes me so angry and moody.

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I don't know what to do anymore I feel like I'll always be like this

So I have this one friend. Unfortunately they're an ONLINE friend. They live in all the way over in Canada while I'm in... Bulgaria. So we've been friends for a while, and his parents have always seemed horrifying. He'd tell us about how they would frequently kick him out of the house AT NIGHT simply just for skipping school. And he's FOURTEEN. He also has a?? Dissociative disorder as well, and those are created from trauma. He had this alter who'd sometimes come out whenever something bad happened, and she would refer to their parents as 'threats'.

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Anyway so now he just left me and my friends a huge message talking about how he loves us and all that. I immediately got worried and he elaborated. And he said this time his dad actually threatened to kill him. Apparently his dad punched 3 walls in the hole and said he was gonna check his online history, and that if he found his friends he'd not only kill him but also us(which...is a little unrealistic.) I told my friend to call the police but he said that would actually get him killed. He can't do self defense either. I also suggested the idea of getting his dad in a mental hospital, but my friend said he'd make his way to escape and kill him?? I suggested cps as well, but cps could always fail and he's aware of that. He's also a droupout and can't tell a teacher.

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I have no idea on what to suggest. My friend said he could run away but how would he even manage that?? So pls give solutions

One thing about me is that I CANNOT stand seeing people's mental health get invalidated. It evokes such strong emotional reactions in me. And I don't even know why. Why do I care so much?

I remember a while back, I saw a girl on tiktok talking about her mental health, specifically self-harm. Most of the comments were incredibly hateful. I spent the whole day ruminating on it, and I was just. Very panicky. It stressed me out so much. I tried to vent about it at some point, but all I got was just "oh get off the internet!!". Which is pretty fair but oh well

But now I just saw another tiktok video. And I legit?? Spiraled over it. It was just somebody saying "when I'm dealing with depersonalization but my friend comes to me with her easily avoidable boy problems." I don't know why that made me SO angry. The comments made me even angrier. And I usually get angry very rarely. I started thinking horrible things. It made want to u n a li ve myself, to cut, to break my arm, to go seek out bad things, to go get someone to beat me up, etc. I know that's extremely overdramatic. I haven't felt like this for so long. And I have no idea where this is coming from either. But I have so much anger in my head rn and I don't know how to stop it. I actually hate these people so much.

Why do they think that just because somebody has less problems than them, it's suddenly invalid? Do they want everyone to be crippling mentally ill? How can you even think stuff like that about your own friends?? I would understand feeling this way, but the way is worded is so invalidating. I don't care if there's bigger problems than boys. Yeah sure, Ive also gotten annoyed at my friends for constantly talking about their romance related problems before, but I'd never pull the "uhm my problems are worse than yours!!" shit. I'm so sorry, I know that's probably not even how the original poster meant it and I'm not trying to act morally superior either but I can't handle it. I literally started crying as well which says a lot because I've been unable to cry in months. I keep thinking about ending it all, and I don't know why. As time goes on I keep getting more and more emotional. This is literally why so many people want to get worse because you people make them feel invalidated. I hate it here. I don't understand why I'm this upset over such a small thing. I can't get it out of my head this is so embarrassing and humiliating

And I don't just mean how do I become decent at it. I wanna be exceptionally good at it. I wanna be able to help even the people that nobody else could help. I want to be able to always know what to say when somebody's having trouble. I want to be able to always give perfect comfort and advice. I wanna have the knowledge of a psychologist. I wanna be the one people trust the most to talk to when they're having trouble, I wanna have this healing aura coming from me. I've never been good enough when it comes to these things. I used to be really bad and now I'm way better but I'm still average. I need to be better. Are there any videos and articles I could check on this?

Lately I've been eating a lot. And I'm not even hungry, it's only because I'm bored. The thing I look forward to the most is just the next time I'm eating. I try to distract myself or do something fun but literally nothing gives me enough dopamine. Sometimes I'll be addicted to a game for a bit but even that stops giving me dopamine after a while. What can I do instead??

For starters, I'm not a system myself.

So like a month ago, I made a bunch of friends. We've been texting daily and we're all super close already. There's this guy specifically who I'm pretty sure is a system. He's not formally diagnosed, but he himself is aware of it. And his experience is still very concerning.

I'm gonna call him friend A. At first I noticed Friend A clearly had a very unstable sense of self. I didn't really question it, because well... I don't just assume people have a dissociative disorder. Then there's Friend B right? At some point friend b got into a bit of an argument with friend a. But friend a was acting incredibly odd and unlike himself. He sounded way more robotic and mechanical, and was also a lot more?? Kinda insensitive I don't know. He's always had weird personality shifts before but he had never acted this differently. But what stuck out to me was his memory. Friend B usually vents to Friend A all the time. Not just to him, she vents a lot to everyone. Here she had said "this must be so irritating to hear from me constantly" and Friend A responded with "this is my first time hearing anything from you". Then friend A asked her if she even knew him, and she replied with "do i?" and he said no. He also didn't remember a situation that was distressing for him, and he had been referencing until recently. Then 2 hours later, he woke up and had absolutely NO memories from the time he acted like that. And he seemed very surprised and apologetic. So yeah, while I wouldn't just suspect a friend of mine to have such a serious disorder...this was kinda an extreme case. But again I didn't say anything. And today I was proven right? Today when I woke up, friend A was back in that state. He didn't even remember my name. He didn't remember anyone properly. By that point I assumed it was an alter. I asked them for their pronouns and she said she used she/her.. So yeah that tracked. So i decided to just treat her like a different person. Because she did act completely different. I decided to be friendly and even tried to have a conversation with her (that failed). There was also friend C who was very. Hostile towards her? But I kind of just assumed it was half joking so I didn't pay much attention to it. Then friend B told me she had been talking to the alter for hours and bonded with her a lot. So then after about an hour, friend A was back and was completely freaking out. And then he actually explained stuff to us.

Friend a told us that he's had this thing ever since third grade. And that alter is apparently AWFUL. He said that she got him fired from his part-time job, she ruined many of his friendships, ruined many of his academic opportunities, made him quit therapy and she also apparently takes pleasure in physically harming people,..? He did say she was a persecutor. HOWEVER. The thing is, at first the alter did not wanna be around us. She just happened to be fronting because she had gone through a traumatic situation. BUT, because of friend B bonding with her, she actually started wanting to stay. And friend A said that if she got along with friend C too she would've fully integrated. And he was struggling to take control. He also did say that at some point that alter had taken control for 3 months.

So, what would be the best way to interact with that alter? There's friend B who keeps insisting that she's not that bad, despite knowing the things she does. And I understand that BUT according to friend a, it would be a problem if friend b kept trying to be friends because then that alter might actually become a host. Friend a just encouraged us to be mean to her, and our other friends seemed to wanna do that too. And then I thought about it for a few seconds and.. is that really a good idea?? Not only would I feel bad for being mean without even having been provoked, but I don't wanna accidentally retrigger something especially since she's also supposed to be a trauma holder? And I don't see how being mean would work. Her whole thing is that she's a persecutor, so if we're mean to her then wouldn't this make her way worse? Overall that's my question, but any help would be appreciated

I get this crisis like once every week. I feel like the more I read about these 2 the more they start sounding the same too. I think I'm so4 but??