u/Lokitheditto

I don't have a whole lot of positive in my life. I have a lot of trauma and don't really have any friends at this point. I've lost many relationships due to "being to negative". I seem to have no idea what actually counts as negative. I'll just be talking about something about my life, or even just something that happened that day and suddenly I'm being reminded how negative I am. At this point I've started cutting off people who are left. What am I even supposed to talk about if everything I am and do is so bad? I feel like there's no way out, and I'm going to be this way alone forever.

I've seen a bunch of people asking for alternative bands, but are there any alternative bands with different materials? I've only been wearing it a few weeks and my skin is sensitive, so I'm not sure if it's the band being wet or not but my wrist is covered in what look like scratches/cuts/cracks? I'm guessing either it being damp against my skin or the texture is destroying my skin. My wrist hurts way to much to wear it at this point and it's bright red almost bleeding.

I have IST and am trying to up my salt and water intake per my doctor. I can't remember how much salt he recommended but he said drink at least 4 liters of water a day. Could I just add table salt to my jugs at this point? And how much do y'all typically eat salt wise a day? Unflavored electrolytes are way too expensive and seem to be mostly potassium

I blocked him and his cousins numbers today. I immediately felt like I hit a wall. Ive never felt so tired . I can't stay awake but I can't stay asleep either. I don't even know how to describe how I'm feeling and even if I did its changing so fast it would change in minutes. Is this normal? I wish I had the words.

I blocked his number and his cousins. I noticed almost immediately it was like I hit a wall. I've never felt so tired. I feel like I'm rapidly cycling through emotions too. I don't even know how to describe what I'm feeling, and even if I found the words for one minute it feels different the next. Is this normal? I can't stay awake but I keep waking up and can't stay asleep.

I'm not sure what to call him. I take care of this man like he's my husband, but he refuses to be anything more than "best friends with benefits" while he dates other girls. That's another subject. The past couple months whenever he has one sip to many he starts to get rough. He has gotten rougher and rougher lately to the point I have to admit to myself he will end me if I can't walk away. And yet every time I do I miss him. Hes told me he will never get sober. He drank the entire 2 liter I got him to keep him from getting sick in 24 hours. It used to last him almost a week. I'm scared of him and I miss him all at the same time. There's so many different versions of him. It's like every so many ounces he's a different version. Some of them are sweet, giving me attention, calling me his and how much he adores me. And then it switches. Every breath I take is wrong. This is my fault. That is my fault. I am being selfish for even existing. I know he will die if he doesn't change. I know it's not my responsibility, but I can't stop caring.

I fully take care of this man. He says I'm his best friend, that he cares so much for me. But doesn't want anything more despite trying for more with multiple other oblivious women at the same time. He's been verbally and emotionally abusive from the beginning. I moved out of state and he is all I've had for a year now. The past couple months he started getting rough. Sexually and in general. Manhandling me even after i make it known it hurts and is not pleasurable to me. Randomly biting me. Sometimes the hand around my throat doesn't feel like it's meant to be kinky. Then when we weren't even doing anything sexual he started putting me in headlocks so tight it hurt and I couldn't breathe. Now yesterday I was just driving and he suddenly grabbed my hair so hard my head snapped back and all I could hear was cracking. My head and neck have hurt ever since. He mocks me, hell say I must've done something to trigger him to do that. Or hell say I'm being selfish and making it all about me. Or Imply that I'm lying because he'd never hurt a woman physically. He's an alcoholic and can't remember he's even done it. I don't want the police involved. I've tried to leave him at least 5 times now, I always let him back in. I know it will get worse. I can't walk away. He's all I have. I don't know what to do .

I wish I was strong enough to finish it

30 years of this is enough

I'm so tired

I found my ex abusive roommate unconscious on the side of the road. I honestly thought he was dead. I managed to wake him up get him in my car and into my apartment where he has continued to be unconscious for the past few hours. I keep making sure he's breathing every now and then and left him some liquid iv water on the nightstand. I know when he wakes up I need to tell him I can take him to a shelter or the er, but I'm scared I won't be strong enough to do it

Does anyone know if self harm is enough to be involuntarily committed?

At this point I don't know if I want to be clean again and obvious areas tend to hit better