u/Longjumping_Walk_992

Why do so many people not want to build a life together? I argue you would have much more success and happiness if each half was willing to integrate and invest in a life together vs just hoping to find someone who provides everything. Thats like winning the lottery and highly unlikely.

I’ve dated several women and I have gone through a divorce and lost everything financially. Rebuilding but not where I was originally. I’ve been told by one person that I have nothing when I actually had more than them and made substantially more than them. I didn’t have the half million (before the boom)dollar house I once had in Florida but I’m doing ok, investing and have rental property and rebuilding myself for retirement. She couldn’t see my worth or my potential but someone else did.

I met a lady who was like me. Great career but also in a rebuilding phase. During the honeymoon phase she brought up wanting to move in together and buy a house together. I was initially hesitant and guarded after losing so much in a divorce. After a while I started moving in the same direction as her. It really made me soften up and trust her that her love for me was genuine, since she was wanting to invest and integrate her life financially and not just emotionally into mine. I was feeling like I was 20 something again and we could build a life together.

I found so many women not willing to do this even though they had great careers. They just expected the man to foot the bill for everything all the time. Those folks are still single js. Maybe it’s time we adjust our standards and expectations.

Have you all found a good way to filter out people just wanting a free ride?

When someone betrays you in someway and you leave them, they then decide to pull closer and say I love you and they start doing things you had wished they done before the betrayal. Just know the pull closer is not love, when you left you triggered their abandonment wound. Their fear of abandonment does not equal love.

If you won $10k in free play what would be your casino strategy?

Can I ask a sincere question of the men over 50 who are dating?

Why do so many of you say you want a relationship, but behave as if you’re protecting yourself from having one?

I’m genuinely confused.

You tell us you want companionship, intimacy, partnership, and someone to share life with. Then when a woman shows interest, asks questions, communicates openly, or wants consistency, suddenly she’s “moving too fast,” “asking for too much,” or “creating pressure.”

Most women my age aren’t asking for marriage after three dates. We aren’t planning our wedding on date two. We simply want to know if the man sitting across from us is emotionally available and capable of showing up consistently.

Many of us have already done the work. We’ve been through divorce, heartbreak, raising children, caring for aging parents, building careers, and rebuilding our lives. We know relationships require vulnerability.

What becomes exhausting is meeting men who say they’re ready for a relationship while keeping one foot permanently out the door.

Nobody is asking for perfection. We all have baggage at this age. But there is a difference between having baggage and using it as a reason to avoid emotional risk altogether.

The older I get, the more I believe that availability is attractive. Not perfection. Not status. Not looks. Availability.

A person who knows what they want, says what they mean, and isn’t terrified of genuine connection is becoming surprisingly rare.

Women of DO50, am I the only one seeing this?

I’m a guy in my 50s and recently had an interesting conversation with some friends about dating preferences and dealbreakers.

One guy said he’d never date a vegan. Another said he’d rather date a vegan than a woman who constantly views men through a negative lens.

That got me thinking.

Veganism is a lifestyle choice. It might create practical compatibility issues—food, restaurants, cooking, ethics—but it doesn’t necessarily tell you how someone treats other people.

On the other hand, what some people call “toxic feminism” seems less about equality and more about seeing men as inherently flawed, privileged, emotionally deficient, or perpetually guilty. Whether that’s a fair characterization or not is a separate debate, but if someone genuinely holds those beliefs, it can affect how they approach relationships.

At this stage of life, most of the men I know aren’t looking for perfection. They’re looking for peace, mutual respect, loyalty, emotional maturity, and someone who genuinely likes them.

Personally, I’d rather date a vegan who respects me than a non-vegan who sees every disagreement as evidence of some larger battle between the sexes.

But I’m curious what others think.

For those of you dating in your 50s and beyond:

Would veganism be a bigger compatibility issue for you, or would negative attitudes toward the opposite sex be the bigger red flag?

And do you think modern dating has become too focused on labels and identities instead of character?

I’m a male who was married for over 27 years to a walk away wife. She was unhappy and depressed and made me the scapegoat for her internal crisis.

After divorce I found myself in the dating world. All I’m finding are damaged and toxic individuals. Women covered in tattoos and carrying addictions. Physically unhealthy due to a lifestyle of poor choices, bad habits, gluttony and lack of discipline.

Avoidants are everywhere. Many women are living in a delusional state and are devoid of logic and lost in their feelings. Their expectations of men do not reflect or align with reality. Feminism has ruined my generation.

All the good stable women are married and the toxic ones are still out there ruining good men. I’m closer and closer to opting out and selling everything I own and moving to another country where a good man is appreciated and honored.

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=9ag0mzu\_YFE&si=NFxyfDGDBOS5W21q

My exgf blames our same aqua horoscope as to why we didn’t work out. I’m not a strong believer in astrology but find it entertaining. I saw her sabotaging as the reason for the breakup but then I thought about the chicken and egg analogy what came first. Then thought maybe she could be right as that was the reason she sabotaged because it was written in the stars and unavoidable . Please convince me otherwise.

Why does it hurt so bad when someone you loved and cared for after the breakup refuses to respond to a gentle check in message. I’d understand it if I had been abusive, cruel or caused the breakup but sitting here and just can’t fathom why they choose not even have the common decency to even reply to a simple message.

Am I expecting too much? What am I missing here? Is there something wrong with me to want to know how they are doing? Why does this sting worse than the actual break up?