u/LostinParadise4748

39F here in suffolk county. I have a fiance and we live together with two cats, no kids.

Idk why but I've found it really tough to make friends on the island even though I've lived here all my life. Traffic aside, I love what the island has to offer. Proximity to NYC and beaches simultaneously.

My childhood friends are all married with kids and between running their kids around all week.. weekends are usually family/play date time.

I have a 5am workout class i hit during the week so I'm early to bed most work nights except for the occasional early dinner/drinks outing but it would be awesome to have some friend time on the weekends.

Most outings I find either heavily skewed towards late 20s-early 30s or empty nesters/retirees.

Is anyone else in the same boat?

I bought back in 2020 during the pandemic. What started out as me house hunting with my long term partner turned into me being blind sided by a breakup, readjusting my price point/budget, and proceeding to buy on a MUCH smaller income.

The pandemic just happened to work to my benefit as many buyers (my competitors) pulled back thinking the market would eventually crash while the remaining sellers were in a position where they HAD to sell. I found a listing where the elderly couple had already retired to another state and were afraid to travel back and forth during the pandemic to continue maintaining the home - they wanted to wash their hands of the property and i actually got it below asking at a decent interest rate.

I bought this very small 800 square foot house in an "okay-ish" neighborhood because at my new price point its what i could afford. It needs alot of updating and with the cost of everything continually going up... after my bills...i no longer have much money leftover to fix/renovate things like i did in the beginning.

As a result 6 years later I'm now struggling with buyers remorse. The reality is I know i should be grateful i can afford this house at all while i see the real estate blood bath going on out there. Houses going way over asking and knowing i could never afford today's interest rates had i waited.

But living in a house i don't love and can no longer afford to turn into something I love...has gotten me very depressed.

I see lots of advice that you shouldn't settle when buying real estate... I'm starting to think its true. But what happens when your price point forces you to settle?

Can anyone relate?

I'm 39F and its not moving into my 40s so much that bothers me as much as it is the milestone marker itself.

Every other milestone 18, 21, 30, 35.... it seemed ok to be behind in my goals and like i had all the time in the world to change things in my life.

For some reason 40 just sounds like I'm locked in to where I'm at in a sense.

I have a mortgage, I can't afford to go back to school and change careers starting over at entry salary.

My fiance is a wonderful man but he's so different than what I always thought 'my type' was.

My house needs so much work to make it my personal oasis but I need money to fix it.

It also doesn't seem like I'll be having children...i feel so tired and drained like I'm stuck in the consumerism rat race where money talks and makes things easier and I just don't have much leftover after bills. I feel like I don't have the energy to properly dedicate to a child.

Is any of this normal or am I just depressed?

Aiden had a successful furniture company and was extremely handy which helped him save ALOT on home renovation costs.

We know Big is extremely well off.

Alexander Petrovsky was clearly successful.

What would have happened if she ended up with the Burger or someone like Steve (pre-bar owner)??

**Typo in post title, can't fix it.

Perez Hilton in particular anyone?

I see that he got his ban lifted from tik tok after trying to bring that same 2000s mean girl energy to tik tok back in 2020 and violating a million rules.

Crying and pleading for 6 years, seems like they finally let him back in.

He popped up on my screen and I had a jump scare.

Is it my imagination or was he notoriously terrible for exposing celebs at their worst and dog piling on them?

Now he presents himself as a friendly celebrity interviewer who just likes to chat!

Does gen Z not know how ruthless this man was back in the day, how have they not canceled him?

I've been looking into getting a touch screen car play and back up camera installed in my car. There's lots of guys advertising on marketplace and I've contacted a few.

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How do I know I'm not dropping my car off to be robbed? lol

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Most of them don't have very many reviews or mixed reviews.

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I'm in mid suffolk county (coram area).

Wondering if this is a millennial thing or just a me thing.

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I just want to come in, do my 8 hours, and go home.

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I don't want more responsibility or a fancy title.

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Within the past 2 years my job has seriously started expecting more and more out of us. I'm a fast learner with all the potential but am trying to stay under the radar bc I see all the managers busting their a** to stay afloat and ahead. I see my company maxing out their potential.

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Gen Z seems so willing to put in the hours for the chance to climb and boomers seem to not mind it maybe because they are so close to retirement?

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Can anyone else relate?

I (39F) have been with my fiancé (42M) for 5 years (engaged 6 months).

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When we got together he was overweight, a heavy smoker, and ate pretty crappy.

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I told him one of the conditions of us getting serious would be that he needed to live a healthier lifestyle. I wasnt trying to imagine a future with someone who was actively doing things that could shorten their lifespan.

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He agreed so he quit smoking, joined a gym, and started cooking more at home I was so proud.

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About 2 years ago he was in a car accident where he was rear ended.

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As a result, he has recurrent pain in his spine and some knee issues that are actively being treated by doctors.

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At first he couldn't workout at all per doctors orders. But 8 months ago they cleared him to go back to the gym for light workouts.

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He always starts going for a day or two... then stops completely for weeks. He's heavier now than he even was when we got together and i feel awful for noticing.

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I'm no spring chicken with menopause around the corner but I make it a point to get to the gym and hit the treadmill every day. I don't particularly love working out, in fact it does feel like a bit of a chore for me... but I know I'm doing my body a disservice if I don't do it and so I push myself to do it.

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I've tried the whole "let's go for a walk" after dinner type of encouragement. But most of the time he "doesnt feel like it" or is "too tired from work".

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I try not to pressure him or make him feel bad. I also say how proud I am when he does go to the gym.

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Yesterday, he realized he has gone up a full pant size and I could tell he got really upset.

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I stayed neutral and didn't say anything negative.... however this situation isn't getting better. He does eat overall pretty decent but I feel its the lack of physical activity that's causing the weight gain since that's the only thing that's really changed.

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I know the initiative has to come from him. I know he has to do it for himself.

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I also know about the signs of depression and he does have a therapist he sees bi weekly since the accident.

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I've also mentioned to him once that I'm here for any support he needs. If he wants to get a nutritionist or personal trainer we can do that. If he wants to go workout together we can do that too.

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I don't know what else I can do to help the situation and I feel like a bad person for even noticing the weight gain.

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Has anyone else been in this situation?

As a millennial I remember getting my working papers at 15. My parents would take me back to school shopping for one pair of sneakers and some jeans but if I wanted name brand or designer stuff... that was on me to buy.

I had to pay for my own cell phone service and when I stared driving I had to pay for my own gas and insurance (I was given the choice of a sweet 16 party or a car and choose the car which was my mom's old Ford sedan handed down to me).

I was talking to my step sibling (Gen X) and she mentioned her son was turning 16 so I asked if he was thinking of getting a part time job like we had. Her response was interesting.

She said he was thinking about it but it would have to be for decent pay as he didn't want to "waste his time working for minimum wage since that's not worth it".

I was so confused by that statement.... not worth what? What is the mentality with these kids that zero income is better than some income?

She also explained as he would be getting his driver's permit soon he had his eyes on a new model sporty looking car for his first car and she laughed saying while they would be buying him a car it wouldn't be sporty. But that he couldn't drive a beater like we did because he needs to be "safe" so it also needs to be an SUV.

I was floored. Without a job he can't pay for much of anything so I guess car payments, insurance, and gas will all be covered by the parents?

I remember wanting a sporty civic when I started driving during the fast and furious days LOL but knew there was no way that was happening and at the end of the day I was grateful for just any set of wheels to get me around.

Has teens not working part time and parents laying everything out of pocket become the norm for newer generations?

I just purchased a 2017 Hyundai Tucson 1.6 Turbo engine.

The car test drove beautifully. Car drove home beautifully as well.

Zero accidents. Clean record with two prior owners.

Purchased it at 61,000 miles with a 15 day dealership warranty and I purchased a 2 year third party extended warranty as well.

However 24 hours later it started shaking and fluttering when I am idling at a stoplight or coasting through a drive through.

I immediately contacted the dealership who told me to bring it in straight away which made me feel reassured. Little did I know....

They told me they have to order some replacement parts and let me bring it home until the parts come in (give or take 3 days).

The fluttering is extremely inconsistent. Sometimes its really bad to the point where i feel like the engine is going to stall out and other times it drives fine and I barely notice it.

Of course after extensive googling I have now found out this is a known, severe, common issue on the Tucsons.

I'm confused because I read about a high oil consumption leading to engine/transmission/catalytic converter failure vs DCT 'this is how its supposed to feel like a manual transmission'... issues.

What should my next moves here be?

I'm tempted between continuing to drive the car and see if it craps out within the 15 day period or is that stupid?

If i can get at least 20,000 miles out of the car I will be happy but I see inconsistent results with some people saying the engine blew at 70k and others making it well into the 100k range - always still with the fluttering.

I just purchased a 2017 Hyundai Tucson 1.6 Turbo engine.

The car test drove beautifully. Car drove home beautifully as well.

Zero accidents. Clean record with two prior owners.

Purchased it at 61,000 miles with a 15 day dealership warranty and I purchased a 2 year third party extended warranty as well.

However 24 hours later it started shaking and fluttering when I am idling at a stoplight or coasting through a drive through.

I immediately contacted the dealership who told me to bring it in straight away which made me feel reassured. Little did I know....

They told me they have to order some replacement parts and let me bring it home until the parts come in (give or take 3 days).

The fluttering is extremely inconsistent. Sometimes its really bad to the point where i feel like the engine is going to stall out and other times it drives fine and I barely notice it.

Of course after extensive googling I have now found out this is a known, severe, common issue on the Tucsons.

I'm confused because I read about a high oil consumption leading to engine/transmission/catalytic converter failure vs DCT 'this is how its supposed to feel like a manual transmission'... issues.

What should my next moves here be?

I'm tempted between continuing to drive the car and see if it craps out within the 15 day period or is that stupid?

If i can get at least 20,000 miles out of the car I will be happy but I see inconsistent results with some people saying the engine blew at 70k and others making it well into the 100k range - always still with the fluttering.

I just purchased a 2017 Hyundai Tucson 1.6 Turbo engine.

The car test drove beautifully. Car drove home beautifully as well.

Zero accidents. Clean record with two prior owners.

Purchased it at 61,000 miles with a 15 day dealership warranty and I purchased a 2 year third party extended warranty as well.

However 24 hours later it started shaking and fluttering when I am idling at a stoplight or coasting through a drive through.

I immediately contacted the dealership who told me to bring it in straight away which made me feel reassured.

They told me they have found the issue and will be ordering parts to fix it and let me bring it home until the parts come in (give or take 3 days).

The fluttering is extremely inconsistent. Sometimes its really bad to the point where i feel like the engine is going to stall out and other times I barely notice it.

Of course after extensive googling I have now found out this is a known and common issue on this model car.

What should my next moves here be?

I'm tempted between continuing to drive the car and see if it craps out within the 15 day period or is that stupid?

If i can get at least 20,000 miles out of the car I will be happy but I see inconsistent results with some people saying the engine blew at 70k and others making it well into the 100k range - always still with the fluttering.

I just purchased a 2017 Hyundai Tucson 1.6 Turbo engine.

The car test drove beautifully. Car drove home beautifully as well.

Zero accidents. Clean record with two prior owners.

Purchased it at 61,000 miles with a 15 day dealership warranty and I purchased a 2 year third party extended warranty as well.

However 24 hours later it started shaking and fluttering when I am idling at a stoplight or coasting through a drive through.

I immediately contacted the dealership who told me to bring it in straight away which made me feel reassured.

They told me they have found the issue and will be ordering parts to fix it and let me bring it home until the parts come in (give or take 3 days).

The fluttering is extremely inconsistent. Sometimes its really bad to the point where i feel like the engine is going to stall out and other times I barely notice it.

Of course after extensive googling I have now found out this is a known and common issue on this model car.

What should my next moves here be?

I'm tempted between continuing to drive the car and see if it craps out within the 15 day period or is that stupid?

If i can get at least 20,000 miles out of the car I will be happy but I see inconsistent results with some people saying the engine blew at 70k and others making it well into the 100k range - always still with the fluttering.

I have long thick dark hair.

I'm booked for a cut, base gray coverage, highlights, and blowout totaling $380 (i live in a HCOL area).

What are we tipping on something like this?

Are we doing 20% or some other number?

I'm an OG RHONY watcher - unfamiliar with the newer seasons.

However recently I started a full re watch and have made it to season 6.

I'm extremely confused with the Ramona & Sonja friendship.

In the earlier seasons it seemed like these two really had a true friendship. They always defended each other (there is a pecking order) and were always down for a good time together.

Then in season 6 something changes. Suddenly Ramona isn't ok with drunk Sonja anymore now that she's single when it was never an issue before?? I was actually very surprised at the way Ramona was speaking and distancing herself from Sonja due to her drinking when it was never an issue for her previously? A flashback to Carol's girls trip to see Russ's concert comes to mind where Sonja is clearly TRASHED in the bathroom getting ready for dinner in her red dress. Ramona seems completely un phased by how drunk Sonja is.

Which makes me wonder if Aviva was right when she said Ramona was ok with it bc it made Ramona look "less" worse and like she was a married woman in control of herself while poor Sonja was the single party friend lamenting how she "lost it all".

I have no idea what happens with these two in later seasons but...

What changed for Ramona in season 6 that suddenly Sonja's party lifestyle became an issue? You would think a newly single Ramona would have been right on board.

I (38F) have a friend named Deanna (37F).

Deanna really wants a husband and children.

She wants that family and realizes her window is shortening every year (yes she has started exploring freezing her eggs).

Deanna is a very sweet girl. She works hard and is a loyal partner but she has a habit of falling for 'potential' rather than reality. I say this after 15 years of friendship.

I am in no way saying I'm some kind of relationship expert. I have my own traumas and toxic cycles that I've worked really hard in therapy to break over the course of YEARS. I'm not perfect and lord knows I dated my own share of unhealthy partners.

But after a certain point i had to examine the common denominator and admit that I was part of the problem. I had a gravitational pull towards emotionally unavailable men.

That "spark" was always something UNHEALTHY for me and I had to "retrain" myself in therapy over why I didn't find emotionally AVAILABLE men attractive. I'm with a wonderful partner now that i had to push myself to give a chance to and now I'm crazy about him.

Deanna is seeing someone she met online dating. This man already has a pattern of going hot and cold on her. She gets upset whenever he goes cold then gets excited when he's back again.

And there i am the wet blanket when she gets all excited reminding her the other shoe will drop again. I feel like I'm being an a**hole to her because she's not looking for advice or warnings.

She wants empathy when the guys show their true colors and supportive happiness when they are back "on".

How are we handling these friends? Blind support?

Give them whatever they need in the moment?

I've asked in the past to be left out of her relationships but that its a pretty big part of someone's life particularly when they are single and dating so it creates an inevitable rift in the friendship.

I've also tried having the self reflective conversations with her but she just.... doesnt see it or maybe isn't interested in the self reflection aspect. Its very "idk why i keep finding these guys!" like life just keeps handing her bad apples.

I feel like a bad friend bc idk how to handle this?

When I bought my house 5 years ago the was a nice border of hostas along my fence line.

Slowly I would see them start to spread and I would yank out the rogue ones encroaching on my yard but they wouldn't come out with the root.

The encroaching problem has just gotten worse.

They are now infiltrating my front yard and pushing out more and more.

They seem like a nightmare to maintain for someone who has no time to do regular pruning and digging in the dirt.

Is the only solution to dig up the yard and remove the roots? Then reseed the area with grass?

I'm a whole grown a** adult pushing 40 so it feels childish to even get upset at my lack of in this situation but...

Everywhere around me it just seems like people have so much support.

I have peers whose families give them financial boosts or very expensive gifts whenever they can.

I have peers whose families don't have money but they physically SHOW UP for them with things like child care, decorating and hosting parties, DIY crafting for events, baking, cooking, etc.

I come from a family that's very individualistic and extremely "I'm here for you as long as it's not an inconvenience to me" mindset.

As a result I'm extremely independent however I feel alone ALOT and like I have no emotional safety net.

I see boomer aged parents at work with adult kids close to my own age and have heard them say "i don't want to watch my kid struggle with this if I can help" in various capacities.

My parents have an EXTREMELY "you need help? Go figure out how to help yourself" mentality.

It makes me so sad to see others get genuine help with no strings attached simply out of love. What that must even FEEL like?!

Can anyone relate to this?

I (38F) have been with my partner (42M) going on 5 years.

The first 4 have been amazing and with some learning curves...we got into a really good routine.

We got engaged about 6 months ago and since then things have just taken a turn.

Bickering turns into full blown arguing. I don't even know why. Its like we suddenly stopped "letting go" of the little things.

His self care has started to slip alittle. He showers every day but sometimes I look and his toe nails are just way too long that i have to point out he should cut them before he will do it . He's not on top of it regularly and it skeeves me out a bit. Maybe he was like this all along and I just didn't notice?

He realizes he's put on weight lately but struggles with the motivation to go workout. I cook alot and try to cook healthy but that's only PART of the equation. I'm supportive whenever he says he wants to lose weight but he doesn't stick with it and its draining continuing to hear the same complaint yet nothing being done about it.

Alot of times I try to talk to him about things that are bothering me and I feel like he is listening to respond rather than to understand. Idk what has changed but before we got engaged he would always assure me right away that he understood what I was saying wheras now he just gets defensive.

I point out how I feel things have changed post- engagement and he says I've changed while I'm convinced he has changed.

All of this has made me lose excitement over marriage to the point where we have stopped planning.

SOMETHING has definitely changed.