u/Magpie_trinkets

Hiii ✨👋☀️

Very recently I started a therapy scheme to detach from the toxic relationship I had with my parents since now I'm an adult and I need to learn how to live without them and stop having panic attacks when I do normal adult things. One of the points about this scheme I have to write down the moments that I felt in a bad way and how it made me feel exactly. That's when I realized I feel very weird about a memory and I don't know why.

So when I was 12 I just got a gift from my aunt a pink phosphorescent watch that I really loved. When I came back home with it I was just making faces in the mirror posing like it was a selfie stuff like that, that's when my dad entered very angry in my room telling me "aren't you ashamed to behave like that at your age? Who do you think you are take that s+it out of your mind" and after that I couldn't wear that watch again.

My question really is... Why does this even happen? What have I done weird? I don't know how to feel about it and i need to write something down for my therapy scheme. Thanks for all the possible help

Hiii ✨👋☀️

Very recently I started a therapy scheme to detach from the toxic relationship I had with my parents since now I'm an adult and I need to learn how to live without them and stop having panic attacks when I do normal adult things. One of the points about this scheme I have to write down the moments that I felt in a bad way and how it made me feel exactly. That's when I realized I feel very weird about a memory and I don't know why.

So when I was 12 I just got a gift from my aunt a pink phosphorescent watch that I really loved. When I came back home with it I was just making faces in the mirror posing like it was a selfie stuff like that, that's when my dad entered very angry in my room telling me "aren't you ashamed to behave like that at your age? Who do you think you are take that s+it out of your mind" and after that I couldn't wear that watch again.

My question really is... Why does this even happen? What have I done weird? I don't know how to feel about it and i need to write something down for my therapy scheme. Thanks for all the possible help

Hiii I'm 19 a couple months till 20 and I want to move out. I had issues with my parents and that's the main reason but also because I can't really find a job in the small village where I live and it's so tiring to take a 1 hour bus every time I want to go to work 1 hour to get back and companies dong really call me when they find out where I'm from either.

I want to move in with my sister because she already lives in the city and she knows my parents are toxic they're very work centered my father feels disrespected by literally everything a human could ever do and he confessed proudly he's misogynistic. My mom spins the world around him so he can live with the idea he's the center of the world so he won't get angry.

They repeatedly asked me to babysit their baby since he was 1 up till now (he's 3) so I spent 2 long years at home doing chores taking care of the baby doing everything they didn't really had time for and I'm exhausted. I know the situation won't change if I don't leave. I tried to get work before they demand 1000 out of my 2500 salary so I feel like I work for nothing.

Now that I tried to tell them I want to move out my mom is very dramatic she says all the time my dad won't ever talk to me again I'll get my sister in trouble too for living with her and I'll end up on the streets and she can't help me because my dad will REFUSE TO ALLOW HER TO TALK TO ME. that's when I got angry because how could you say your husband doesn't let's you talk with your own child because your child wants to be independent wants a good job.

As y'all can guess my dad calls me LAZY for wanting to leave he says I'm leaving because I'm too lazy to do the things they ask me to... Well my plan is simple I'll go see my boyfriend then I'll stay at my sister until I get my first paycheck my boyfriend already agreed to pay my first months of rent and I also get financial help from my godmother and aunties. I'll work hard and do my best.

NOW THE QUESTION IS: IS MY PLAN REALLY IMPOSSIBLE OR ARE THEY MANIPULATIVE? my sister says the second one and I should just keep on with my plan... Thanks for all the possible advices

I'm 19 years old F I always tried my best to be in a good relationship with my parents despite them being very strict and never getting along. Soon I'll move out tho I keep it a secret until the exact date I'll do it cause I know they'll manipulate me into staying.

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Recently my father have been behaving odd to say the least he watches very weird pastors on TikTok he consumes an excess of fake political content and most importantly he seems awfully detached of us.

I started noticing the changes when I told them about wanting to get a job as a store clerk and mom warned me there might be creeps and I told her I don't really care what creeps say about me. My father overheard and next time I went to the store he made me change out of my totally appropriate clothes more as to show me "it matters what men say or think about me"

He also makes incredibly questionable comments about women not being obedient enough and that sometimes he says crazy stuff just to see if we obey and we disappoint him by "talking back". He hates when I do my makeup or do my hair if I wear earrings or shorts even at home because a man might see me when I pass through the yard.

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Yesterday I overheard my parents arguing and mom asked him why he's so mean with her with me and my sisters and even female clients that come to our small business and he said that indeed he finds women very annoying and disobedient "pretending they know what they're doing" he can't stand any woman that does financially better than him or doesn't really rely on other people and says it's not what God intended, I was even banned from going to the public pool on the same reason.

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I want to keep a good relationship with him but this annoys me more then I'm willing to admit he's the kind of guy that would see a woman be harassed and ask her what she did to cause this. How do I keep peace with such a person? I would really like to break the contact and I hope that's not too mean but I feel like less then a human sometimes

HIIII I really need advice on this matter, my parents are quite toxic because of their own unresolved trauma and I'm genuinely sick of walking on eggshells... I always have to watch for their mood and how they feel plus they argue all the time and it gets to a point when it just cuts your will to live. I talked to my sister and she'll have me over until I find my own apartment and I can get enough money to buy the things I need for it and my bf is paying for the first 2 to 3 months of staying I do have a plan a pretty good one too, but when I tried to tell mom she made a face like I told her the best joke she ever heard she said I'll fail and I can't provide for myself and I should find another job stay at home and pay rent to them and whatever money are left after that I can keep... That's not gonna cut it I get 2500 a month they ask for 1000 bus is 500 so basically I'll never "find the money to live for myself some day"

If anyone been in a similar situation before how do I do it, how do I tell them I move anyway? I desperately need advice I don't want to live here anymore all I do is babysit do chores and hear them argue if I want time for myself they say it's rude and selfish! Is there anyway I can save this situation without them not talking to me forever? I'm F19 btw almost 20 definitely not too young to move out

So we are both 19 to start with and we both live with our parents. I really gotta move out because my parents are very toxic they make me do a huge workload at their small business and take huge chunks out of my paycheck It's like they stop me from living my life. My boyfriend offered to help and asked me to move countries and live with him and his mom in a small apartment, I just know that's a bad idea the apartment definitely can't fit 3 people and in his country we can't afford to pay rent to another apartment so I denied and I told him we can live separated until we have something more practical going on, I'm not willing to invalidate my MIL feelings either I know she doesn't wants me living there. My bf got very upset and told me to fk myself. After that he never spoke with me properly about this and he's still mad at me I just know. I just want to know if it's mean to turn him down, I think I did good because I would've upset his mom and got all up in his personal space using his own room. Idk what to do or how to fix the situation I'm gladly taking advice

I'm 19 and honestly I don't know what to do anymore, my father is a complete workaholic he can't stop working until the night falls and he wants us to do the same thing + immense guilt tripping about how much he would work when he was my age and I'm a slacker "just like my mom".

I clean I cook I do the dishes I babysit their 3 year old I do the laundry and I tend the gardens, recently they added construction work apparently cause even since my father got sick he can't life heavy so I carry bricks do cement and carry huge logs of firewood IM EXHAUSTED 🫩

Recently I asked them for a break to go to my auntie to rest for a few days to see my cousin and that's when hell broke loose. They started saying my extended family is made out of disgusting liars who don't work enough and don't love their spouses and families and "I'll catch stupid ideas like not listening to my parents and stopping the work or even worse ask to eat in my bedroom like my ungrateful cousins do"

Idk if it's alright to say they use me but it really feels that way I know my dad is undiagnosed with something in hus head but he refused any medical help or paid therapy because it's not "godly", anyway I told them I want to go anyway so if they don't drive me there I'll go there by bus or even if I'm not going to my extended family I still have to go somewhere cause I need a break I'm 19 and I'm not allowed to exit my own house as they "prepare ne for how hard life really is"

Anyway I just want to know if I took it too far? What do y'all think

HIII I want to start by saying I respect every person that raises their children on their own and I understand it's a big deal and it's hard, that being said my father was a single dad for a very short period of time. When he broke up with his wife she didn't really bother to show up for court and he got the children (now that I grow up I realized dad most likely threatened this woman cause that's something he most likely would do) anyway he got my older step sisters and for those 2 to 3 years he was a single dad, and according to my sisters a very neglectful one! My sisters said he would just randomly get drunk back then forgot to come back home or leave inappropriate media in plain sight.

After my mom married my step dad she raised his daughters just how she raised me and my dad quit smoking and drinking after a while. Back then my father was also pretty abusive but my mother chose to now pretend nothing happened. My sisters left the first time they got a chance not because the bad situation is still going but because nobody wants to unknowledge the damage it left on us (for more info about it, I wrote a few times here before). Now they have only 3 children left in the house and my father has the audacity to call mom a bad parent saying "he was a single father and he didn't complain" well my sisters would beg to differ because none of em like him we try very hard to appreciate him as a dad but he did a lot of harm and he always sees himself as the hero of the story. He has control problems he wants everyone to do exactly what he says and he always complains about what a hard life he had without understanding what a hard life he gave us. So AITA to give him a reality check?

My parents are worse then I'm willing to admit :(

This is my 3rd time in a row talking about my parents here and I just seem to undermine how bad they are... They overwork me, refuse me any payments and make me babysit the whole day! But that's not even the problem cause I got used to all of that yesterday and it filled up my glass I'm about to spill out...

My parents had to take my sister on an unexpected car ride and as they were getting ready they started arguing about how their closet is never clean and how nobody is taking care of the house (my father has been taking mom to work at the family business for months btw I am completely lonely babysitting). He got so mad he threw a cup at mom that missed her and shattered all over the hallway. I talked to mom and instead of doing something she always sweet-talks him into "feeling better" cause yk that's what tired people do THROW STUFF AT YOU!

And also by talking to mom I found out that he's mad at me because I'm sitting in the nursery and I'm sitting on his bed, a friendly reminder I babysit their kids almost 10 hours everyday. He admitted to mom that he is sick of having kids and he would like to just have us in one room, and I can't believe how entitled this man is because when I told them it's not a good idea to have another baby we can't afford and there's no space he said "good we didn't asked you then" but now I end up raising this child just like a teen parent. I have never seen such entitled adults. I can't help mom if she doesn't wants to be helped so I'll have to leave her here the way it is. I put my files in every job available and I'm waiting for calls by next winter I want to be already out of the house.

My parents have been like this their whole life they only care about what they can take from me, when I was a kid they would scream at me and get mad if I cried because of depression even tho I have severe development problems in my adult life because the way they raised me and they never realized I was SA'd at 8 by my grandfather until 9 years later despite again severe depression. I have congenital astigmatism a pretty bad one and since it's from birth I didn't know u weren't supposed to see this blurry but they never took me to an eye exam or bothered to see if I can read properly got my first glasses at 18! They just live in their own bubble. My dad gave me an eating disorder since he has this God complex that he knows better when we should be eating and that caused me to steal food all the time as an adult

I want to get out of this house that's my wish... But I really hope I'm not making a mistake! I'll gladly take advice from everyone that had to move out from toxic parents! Thanks 👍

Hiiii! I post here because honestly I got gaslight for a very long time thinking I'm crazy about it until I talked with someone from outside my house, so here's the thing: now I'm 19 and I have an eating disorder every time the kitchen empties I shove food in my mouth uncontrollably I became stealthy with it and nobody can notice food is missing and I realized this is the real reason of my weight gain. It all started when I was a kid and we didn't had lots of money and every time when we had something I liked or I could choose from I would take an advantage like any picky kid would, that's when my step father started poking fun of me and calling me names, accusing me of stealing food even if I wasn't doing it back then. He would make sure that he would never finish his plate even if that means he gets up hungry from the table just to make sure that he can make fun of me in case I ask for another serving.

Some time passed and I started feeling good while eating only If he wasn't watching even tho he always had this hyper fixation that everyone has to eat at the same table at the same time and the same food with him, he would get angry if any of us got a bigger spoon or a slightly bigger piece. He would make comments about earning our food and if u don't work hard enough u don't deserve it even tho I was like 10 maybe back then.

By 13 I had a nervous breakdown and I started crying when he was making jokes so he made sure his comments are only backhanded and not straight up calling me fat.

Time passed and by 15 I started trying to eat healthy and do sports and because of that my blood sugar would drop faster and I would get shaky hands this made him so angry that he screamed at me "Jesus didn't ate for 40 days and u can't stop eating for one" SORRY WHY AM I GETTING COMPARED TO GOD NOW?! Then he made fun of me for trying to put lemon on fish cause "it's another crap I saw on tv and I'm gullible about food". I noticed he's extremely picky about food only classic traditional food he refuses to eat even pizza cause it's too exotic for him, he gets very nostalgic about communist Romania saying it was the only time food had a fair share and every time I try to say something about it my mother squeezes my hand under the table as a warning.

Now I'm 19 and I started cooking just to know what we eat is slightly healthy but every time I cook my mother has to sneak after I'm finished and change the recipe completely dumping in oil and artificial flavours so I'm kinda already over trying I'm stress eating and I don't like that about myself I don't need advice I just need to know I'm not crazy and this is actually wrong. Thanks 👍

Hi I want to start by saying I'm 19 and for the moment no way to make money because my parents keep needing constant help and every time I tried to get a job my mom seemed very disappointed so I just dropped it. For a bit of background my parents had a baby in their early 40s and it wasn't an accident it was most definitely planned but they have no plan about it... They have to work and I'm either with the baby, cleaning the house, cooking or doing garden work and being stuck at home got quite a toll on my mental health. I suggested before I should also get a job and my mom would just start pacing around the room panicking about what she would do without me, when I got an interview she was upset all day! Now things got even worse my mother has depression and my dad has back problems that need surgical intervention and I have to double my level of work to make sure I catch up with all the chores nobody can do! I'm really starting to get tired it's been 3 years already I barely leave the house just on special occasions because there's always something to do in their opinion, they wake me up everyday at 6am and I have only one day in a week when I don't get scolded for just relaxing my father still sees us as incredibly lazy since "he could've done it better". Now the little one throws some serious tantrums and I know it's the age but I get very overwhelmed I feel like a teen mom just without the fun of having my own child. I would really like to move out, every single relative told me to move out, my older sisters that are now married told me to move out but when it comes to them in very selfish and mean for that because they're sick and busy and they have a child to raise and I'm not willing to give a hand. And they even throw trad stuff in this for some reason saying "a woman shouldn't move until she's married" I'll forever be a country raised girl and that really hurts me. What do I do to stop feeling guilty for choosing myself for once, or maybe I really am the problem here?