Yes i know it sounds insane

So, my little brother bought me a gift. He been buying me video games since I won't give out my location.

He brought me an anime action figure thing I guess and wants some where to send it. My mother and father basically birthed me as free house labor and I one day escaped. So they need me back.

I left and got a city in a different job and I move frequently so they have no idea where I am. Also phone book still lists me as the city I originally lived when I was in HS.

I know many INTJ have a lot of trauma which probably contributed to the overly independent demenor.

Like, I am starting to give up on even having freinds though. Even the people I think were my freinds it turns out are rooting for my downfall or using me.

Recently, I tried changing and surround myself with better people. Again, they are just wishing for me to fail and actively trying to make sure I worse in life.

There some people who seem to fall back on thier freinds or family. I have my 60 year old dad and gramma who are retired and own a house. Demanding I quit my stable occupation to work at Walmart and take care of them.

My freind circle keeps pushing I go back to working at a pizzeria. These are people who are well off at stable jobs making 30 an hour or more. They want me to be working 3 jobs and living out my car and not able to afford rent.

I thought maybe I was doing something to deserve this but no matter how hard I try, proffesional I present myself, or how much I do. I'm just seen as worthless by everyone.

I am not sure how to keep trying to have humanity left. When everyone is just like this.

I have a defult of being cold and get flack for it but like I not really given much reason to be more empathetic. When I just getting used.

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🎙️ A Special Broadcast From Yours Truly!

📻 ATTENTION, DEAR LISTENERS!

Have you grown terribly bored of the same old Discord chatter? Do you find yourself yearning for a community with a little more bite?

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So, I have had a lot of trauma and spent a majority of my life using intuition and problem solving to fix stuff.

This means I don't really need to retain things as I'm usually solving problems on the spot.

After some piont of my mothers severe abuse, it started to severely damage my short term/long term memory retention. I also realize a majority of the time im not really present and operating 100% on autopilot.

Despite being on autopilot I can perform 90% of task above the majority of people. As im using the problem solving part of brain.

When I switch to being present my situational awareness and tasks that require spatial awareness improve but my automatic tasks like putting away house keys disapear from awareness.

How do I solve this? It seems like everything is on a seperate line. What sucks is people have realized my weakness of spatial awareness and exploited it in a super messed up way.

Now I doing stuff like I put my coffee cup away but don't know where. I just know I have a habit and only put my stuff in particular places as I perform things ONE WAY, all the time. As I know if I change stuff my brain is stupid and will forget where I put stuff. So I built a structure to keep me looking fuctionally normal and frustrated people are seeing the cracks.

But switching lines isnt working either!

If so, did you move out or store the gun somewhere else? If you get evicted for having one for work, is there legal protections?

I always end up working for state/county.

I not sure how anyone gets started in private when all the companies seem to only hire contractors. How exactly are the private workers getting the experience to become contractors?

It seems goverment likes hiring employees while everyone else is only hiring what is essentially individual business owners.

I wanted take the exam as I have 5+ years in construction/maitenenece. I not sure what goverment legally considers 'Journeymen Level'. Does every contractor person have to go through Union?

Coworker, is wierdly affectionate with me.

They go out way to be around me and will pull me out of convos with other people.

They asked my fav animal and decided thats my nickname. I don't feel like going to work anymore.

So, politically speaking its bad to throw someone under the bus.

You should avoid it unless you really need to. I have a coworker I keep getting paired with who dodges work, hides all day and does nothing, and doesn't even finish thier basic tasks.

Multiple coworkers have brought it up. I think my supervisor is pairing me with them to try and force them to work but I having a hard time trying to awnser questions to boss in a way which isn't actively making this coworker look bad.

I really frustrated becuase I end up doing extra work, and this coworker seems so bad at thier job. There also a war in the office since the temp staff is at war with management.

Like toxic, dysfunctional people are so entertaining most of the time.

Like you know its going to crash and burn but the ride is at least fun. Also they always like the most bizarre, outlandish, creative people.

Like yes, I think you might stab me with a screwdriver becuase your mood swings but you built a model train set from scratch in your backyard using old car/engine parts and have a full scaled city. Like you have way too many red flags but also who has that level of dedication for this obsession?

Like im genuinely impressed. I kind of want to see what other wierd projects you working on.

Society pushes very hard that love will magically just find a way and if it fails you didn't love each other hard enough.

Realistically, though a lot of people as adults break up becuase of mismatched priorities and goals. So I don't understand why society finds it a moral failing to auctully put effort and thought into relationships.

This also contributes to and my parents were an example of this problem. People who have kids and than opt out half way through becuase "ew we have to feed this thing. It wants attention? Why am I wasting all my money on it!"

I hate 5/8 just becuase it feels like your weekend doesn't give you any freetime. Everyone asks what I be doing on my weekend since I have '2 whole days off' but those 2 whole days are used to iron my uniforms, do my laundry(that takes all day) since home dryers take forever. Than prep my lunch for the week or just not eat for the week.

We have temp and permenent staff.

The temps are limited term with option for renewal or permanent slot.

I keep getting retrained on tasks and than told to ignore new supervisor as most of the limited terms like retired supervisors better. This is by other temps who been with the company longer.