u/MeatballDom

Saturday's night game was a special one, it was "Check out our two back-to-back WS championships, our billion dollar payroll, and hey, guess what, everyone gets free beer and hotdogs" night. However, in the third inning, after Shohei hit a grandslam, the crowd began to grow somewhat restless.

"Sell the team! Sell the team! Sell the team!" they began softly before growing into an overwhelming roar. Even Tom Hanks, Rob Blowe, and that white guy with the backwards name who played an Indian with blackface in Short-circuit all began to cheer the same.

"It's just the cool thing to do," said Skip Carmichael, a "die-hard" Dodgers fan from Ohio who finally made the trip to his Mecca. "To be entirely honest, I'm not even sure who owns the team, maybe GOAThei, but they seem to be doing a good job, but everyone else is doing it and they don't really seem to have a reason to either."

Val Lightly, a 20 year LA Resident agreed. "We don't want to feel left out," he said, verbally gesturing towards the recent run of similar chants across MLB. When asked if they would also take off their shirts, Val replied "heavens no. This is a limited edition Beurre de Cacahuète with double French cuffs, I paid good money to wear this on camera where everyone can see me."

Update: the festivities continued long into the night, with chants to sell the team being led by none other than Pete Crow Armstrong. "Some people are just doing it for the fashion," the star said, "but I believe in the cause."

Clayton Peters (12), Kayden Clayton (11), and Peters Clayton (13) are among the hundreds that have died in the past year from Pitts Disease, better known as "How You Can Actually Die Laughing About the Same Joke in r/Baseball."

"It's a serious matter, no one knows how far is too far" said mother of Clayton Peters, Serena Williams. "We never knew what he was doing on his phone, and when we found out his last post was 'Wade Boggs is very much alive' we were even more confused." But it was then that they were contacted by Prof. Jason Donald who told them about Pitts Disease.

Speaking to us, Prof. Donald said "there's only so many times you can laugh at the same joke, it's something that our bodies have been programmed to understand forever. However, recent developments in brain functionality and internet culture has more and more people creeping closer to this little known line."

Kayden Clayton of Pennsylvania was a die-hard Angels then Dodgers fan. His loss shocked the local community, where they now celebrate "Kayden's Day" to warn people of this disease. It all ended when Kayden was on Reddit and scrolled across a comment that said "How Can You Not Be Romantic About Baseball?" on a post about peanut butter. "He went out laughing, that's the one joy I take from this" his mother says, reflecting on how Kayden upvoted the comment in a laughing fit before dying.

There is no cure for this disease, just prevention. "No one should laugh at the same joke this many times, normal people should not be worried."

[Update] We tragically must acknowledge that after this article was posted the young Claydon Playton (10) died after writing in the comments "Guys Will See This and Just Think 'Hell Yeah'" which has baffled us all as it doesn't even make sense. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family.

This thing is just brutal once you get the prestige attachment. It took awhile to figure out how to use the gun effectively, and a bit of time as well on how to use it with the attachment, but I'm regularly getting triple kills and beyond with this thing on nuketown, and usually finishing first on the leaderboard. If they ever brought back that close quarters apartment map this thing would be banned.

Basically, with the attachment you get quicker blobs, more ammo, and the blobs just richochet off of everything and go on for a good 5-7 seconds. So if there's a hardpoint map inside a house, and you shoot a few rounds in there it's going to bounce off all the walls and get a bunch of them in quick fashion.

In short: not a fan of the baselevel of the weapon, but holy hell is the prestige a great time.