My grandma is physically and emotionally abusive, but I feel obligated to keep taking care of her
I’m honestly just mentally exhausted and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’ve been living with my grandma and taking care of her, and for the longest time I just thought this was what I was supposed to do. I always thought I would live with her and take care of her until she died. But I’m starting to realize how unhealthy and abusive this situation actually is.
She is mean and hateful to me constantly. She’s negative about pretty much everything, and I feel like I hear the same questions over and over every single day, sometimes multiple times a day. I know she’s getting older and I know she needs help, but I honestly don’t have the patience anymore. I feel mentally drained all the time.
My boyfriend recently moved out, and I honestly think living in this situation has put a huge strain on our relationship over the past few years. It feels like everything in my life has been affected by living here.
Even my kids don’t really come around because of how mean she can be. And that breaks my heart.
But the part that really made me stop and think is that she has become physically abusive toward me. She has put a knife on me. She has slapped me in the face about five times and punched me twice. I’ve never wanted to put my hands back on her, and I won’t. I know I can call the police, but I’ve always had this mindset that she’s my grandma and I’m supposed to take care of her no matter what.
Now I’m realizing that I’m actually in a domestic violence situation too.
The problem is, I literally have nowhere to go. I never planned on leaving because I thought I would be here until she died, so I don’t have money saved for an apartment, deposits, moving expenses, etc. It’s me and my dog, and I’m not willing to give up my dog just to get somewhere safe.
Has anyone been in a situation like this with an elderly family member? Is there actually help available for someone in my situation with getting out, finding housing, deposits/moving costs, and somewhere that will allow my dog?
I’m not looking to abandon my grandma. I just don’t want to spend the rest of my life being her caregiver while being verbally and physically abused. I feel guilty even saying that, but I’m exhausted. I need to get out and I need to figure out how to do it without ending up homeless.