u/Mellowmushroom02

Hello everyone,

I am going through one of the most stressful times in my life right now. Maybe that's why I am feeling this way but it's something that I have always had trouble with letting go of. It might be a bit like immature, but it still lingers in my head from time to time. My marriage of six years has its ups and downs, but I know we are pretty solid together with always room for improvements. I will try to keep it short but as detailed as I possibly can.

My wife and I met at a work a place we no longer work for. We were friends for about a year and half before we started. We talked about everything, life, past relationships, personal stuff etc etc. We were both single and eventually started hooking up. She has two kids from a past relationship, and she told me about her rocky relationship with my oldest step kids dad. One that had a "love triangle" of some sort. It's all messy that I question sometimes who I got involved with lol anyways. They were young all around 19-20. I'll use letters to Identify them. J and N (my wife) were together before J was caught cheating, they split up for a while and A came into the picture. A is a guy my wife had known since before J if I remember correct, but I guess he was someone that my wife would see on and off as well. I asked why she never pursued anything serious with A but A himself I think had a situation with this girl he had a kid with which was something my wife didn't want to deal with so that's why it stayed booty call only status idk. He was "Toxic" she mentioned. I guess that was on and off pretty close to when my wife and I started. One thing that really stuck in my head was that she said something about A along the lines of "He was just someone that will always have a hold on her. He's just too toxic." I'm thinking in my head "She likes the rush of it all. It's just fun"

FF to me and my wife now..

When my wife and were hooking up my ex had reached and talked about wanting to try it again, I agreed so N and me stopped hooking up and we tried to keep it chill but she was hurt by it because she had caught feelings as well. That lasted like 2 weeks I told my ex that it was never going to work so I ended it. I had feelings for N already. But me and N weren't talking. I guess A reached out to N and they started hanging out and N was "happy" she was all giddy had a screen saver of them showing a co worker and what not but I knew it wasn't going to last. I told her "Do you just entertain the idea of it working between you and him because you know it would never work?" She said "You know what I think you're right?" She's a smart ass. Well, we didn't talk after that for like a month because I was jealous and mad because I had feelings already, but she was seeing him. I started dating around and eventually after like a month and half she was the one that reached out to me and I was like "Oh were talking again?" She told me A is back with his kids mom and they stopped seeing eachother. Well we eventually started hooking up again and I told her how I felt and wanted to pursue something.

This is what lingers in my head from time to time and may be immature on my part. I let her know that I let the girl I was talking to that I am seeing someone now and it's getting serious because she had asked me if I was still seeing other people. I had asked her about A, and she said she blocked him. I didn't like that I told her I wanted her to let him know that she was seeing someone now and to not reach out anymore. She said "why would that be necessary he should take the hint." I just didn't like that because I felt like she left the door open to that like a back up plan. When you block a number it still in your phone right? unless she just blocked him on socials and doesn't have his number idk but that has always made me feel insecure about it and I think to myself if me and her split she's just gonna unblock him and the door is open again. Makes me feel like she never fully committed but she did since we are married. I know I am being immature and childish but I have brought it up to my wife and well what is she supposed to do he blocked him. I am at a low point right now so I know this is all dumb thoughts in my head. I just want to know how foolish I am being about this. How can I navigate these feelings when I am feeling low like this? We reassure ourselves how much we love eachother very often. It's just my damn head I know that no matter what happens I gotta love myself and know my worth. Sometimes it replays in my head what she had told me about him when we were just friends how she will always have a thing for him. It makes me feel like our chemistry is just not as strong as theirs since even after like 8 years idk she would say that. I don't even know why I compare it.

So today my ass decides to hurt my own feelings and ask my wife this scenario. Sort of like the same situation she had with A

"Hey if me and you didn't end up together, we stopped pursuing us and we just sort of stopped hooking up but like nothing bad happened we just stopped, kept talking here and there. Would you ghost me or still want to be cool I guess? Maybe keep me around for later hookups?" She responds with probably not, I don't think that would work between us.

Her answer bummed me out, but I did it to myself I was just curious on what she would say. I don't even know why my mind thinks of these things honestly. I just always feel like I will never touch her in the same way that guy did but I am the one that married her so why even think like this??

Hello everyone,

I am going through one of the most stressful times in my life right now. Maybe that's why I am feeling this way but it's something that I have always had trouble with letting go of. It might be a bit like immature, but it still lingers in my head from time to time. My marriage of six years has its ups and downs, but I know we are pretty solid together with always room for improvements. I will try to keep it short but as detailed as I possibly can.

My wife and I met at a work a place we no longer work for. We were friends for about a year and half before we started. We talked about everything, life, past relationships, personal stuff etc etc. We were both single and eventually started hooking up. She has two kids from a past relationship, and she told me about her rocky relationship with my oldest step kids dad. One that had a "love triangle" of some sort. It's all messy that I question sometimes who I got involved with lol anyways. They were young all around 19-20. I'll use letters to Identify them. J and N (my wife) were together before J was caught cheating, they split up for a while and A came into the picture. A is a guy my wife had known since before J if I remember correct, but I guess he was someone that my wife would see on and off as well. I asked why she never pursued anything serious with A but A himself I think had a situation with this girl he had a kid with which was something my wife didn't want to deal with so that's why it stayed booty call only status idk. He was "Toxic" she mentioned. I guess that was on and off pretty close to when my wife and I started. One thing that really stuck in my head was that she said something about A along the lines of "He was just someone that will always have a hold on her. He's just too toxic." I'm thinking in my head "She likes the rush of it all. It's just fun"

FF to me and my wife now..

When my wife and were hooking up my ex had reached and talked about wanting to try it again, I agreed so N and me stopped hooking up and we tried to keep it chill but she was hurt by it because she had caught feelings as well. That lasted like 2 weeks I told my ex that it was never going to work so I ended it. I had feelings for N already. But me and N weren't talking. I guess A reached out to N and they started hanging out and N was "happy" she was all giddy had a screen saver of them showing a co worker and what not but I knew it wasn't going to last. I told her "Do you just entertain the idea of it working between you and him because you know it would never work?" She said "You know what I think you're right?" She's a smart ass. Well, we didn't talk after that for like a month because I was jealous and mad because I had feelings already, but she was seeing him. I started dating around and eventually after like a month and half she was the one that reached out to me and I was like "Oh were talking again?" She told me A is back with his kids mom and they stopped seeing eachother. Well we eventually started hooking up again and I told her how I felt and wanted to pursue something.

This is what lingers in my head from time to time and may be immature on my part. I let her know that I let the girl I was talking to that I am seeing someone now and it's getting serious because she had asked me if I was still seeing other people. I had asked her about A, and she said she blocked him. I didn't like that I told her I wanted her to let him know that she was seeing someone now and to not reach out anymore. She said "why would that be necessary he should take the hint." I just didn't like that because I felt like she left the door open to that like a back up plan. When you block a number it still in your phone right? unless she just blocked him on socials and doesn't have his number idk but that has always made me feel insecure about it and I think to myself if me and her split she's just gonna unblock him and the door is open again. Makes me feel like she never fully committed but she did since we are married. I know I am being immature and childish but I have brought it up to my wife and well what is she supposed to do he blocked him. I am at a low point right now so I know this is all dumb thoughts in my head. I just want to know how foolish I am being about this. How can I navigate these feelings when I am feeling low like this? We reassure ourselves how much we love eachother very often. It's just my damn head I know that no matter what happens I gotta love myself and know my worth. Sometimes it replays in my head what she had told me about him when we were just friends how she will always have a thing for him. It makes me feel like our chemistry is just not as strong as theirs since even after like 8 years idk she would say that. I don't even know why I compare it.

So today my ass decides to hurt my own feelings and ask my wife this scenario. Sort of like the same situation she had with A

"Hey if me and you didn't end up together, we stopped pursuing us and we just sort of stopped hooking up but like nothing bad happened we just stopped, kept talking here and there. Would you ghost me or still want to be cool I guess? Maybe keep me around for later hookups?" She responds with probably not, I don't think that would work between us.

Her answer bummed me out, but I did it to myself I was just curious on what she would say. I don't even know why my mind thinks of these things honestly.

Hello everyone,

My nine-year-old stepson loves playing soccer and has been playing rec soccer since he was like five so going on like four years now. His progression in the sport has been very slow as he only practices once a week and plays one game a week you know the typical rec league set up. Obviously, his progression is somewhat tied to me depending on how much I practice with him but that's the thing I try to work with him and teach him but it seems like he doesn't really care about what I say he just gives me this blank stare and just keep kicking the ball back and forth. He doesn't like playing forward, mid or anything just likes staying in the back and playing defense which is okay but all he pretty much does is wait for the ball to come to him and kick it as hard as he can he doesn't really think strategically about where he wants to kick it or what he wants to do with the ball but that's most kids in the league minus the handful of kids who actually show some true skill for the sport. He's not a bad defender only when he can bully the other kids off the ball because he is a pretty big kid and bigger than most, but when it comes to a quick, swift and fast player he kind of gets left in the dust. I know the bullying is going to as he gets older and kids catch up to his size.

Back to practice, it's hard to make time to practice with him because of my work schedule and on my days off I have my own two babies I have to watch since my wife goes to school full time. We do get a session or two in but it's just kicking the ball back and forth and when does condition actually start to matter because right now his games are just like and 50 minutes long (two 20-minute halves and a 15 min break) he gets subbed out if the coach sees he is winded. He doesn't like conditioning I have tried it with him, and he doesn't try or half asses it. I don't push him very hard because I just meet him where he meets me. I don't want to make soccer a job for him and I'm sure he just does it for the fun of it which is fine.

I am mostly curious as to when is the skill level and actually being somewhat good at it going to matter? I know at some point almost all the kids around him are going to be somewhat good and actually have a brain for soccer and if when that does happen, he will get left behind. Like HS sports or competitive clubs where you actually have to try out and you just can't pay and start playing.

Why is it so packed?! Like there’s so many of us standing inside waiting for a block and so many carts are full. I don’t understand what’s going on? How does it work?

I’ve probably posted about this before so I’ll try and make it short.

Yesterday My step sons had his karate belt ceremony going from white belt to yellow (beginner) and his older step brother had wrestling championships going on the same day so his dad told my wife he wasn’t going to be able to go because of wrestling. My wife her mom and her brother were talking crap about it in the kitchen yesterday before karate. I just said I probably would’ve done the same thing not because it isn’t important but because hir brother pours his entire life into wrestling meanwhile my step son goes once a week and never practices at home. You just can’t compare it! At least I think so. His brother has AM work outs, PM workouts all week still probably practices at home, has to be on a strict diet because of his weight class, all that while still having to maintain his grades to be able to participate in wrestling. It’s not easy and it’s a big difference. I just said I don’t expect you three (They’re lazy even my wife lol) to understand because you guys have never committed to a sport and how much effort it takes to do it all.

Well yeah I was in the dog house for the day but luckily I went to work. I want to reiterate that this is a tough situation because both kids matter but there really is no win win here. I have no choice I went to my kids karate but I understand why his dad didn’t go. What are your guys thoughts on this?

Apart from a lot of patience which I know, what are some tips to helping out my step son when he completely shuts down when taken out of his comfort zone?

I’ve been trying to teach this boy how to ride a bike since he was like seven/eight years old but he has two left feet he’s been like that since he came into my life when he was five. On and off I’ve been trying to teach him, we take breaks when we’ve run thru it a few times and have taken an extended break (three years) because one he out grew his bike (he’s a big kid 5ft 6in and only 11.) Got him a new to us bike that’s one size before an adult bike and well we’re back at it.

At first he had training wheels on a small bike that he outgrew quickly. My neighbor gave us like one of those bmx bikes that I tried installing training wheels on but didn’t work so we resorted to trying to balance by taking off the pedals and pushing with his legs like a balance bike and that’s where we still are. He complained about the seat so I got him a comfy beach cruiser seat, said the pedals were too small swapped for bigger pedals, I’ve done just about everything that I can think of to make him feel comfortable and safe. He completely freezes, doesn’t move and stands there looking at me with this blank look on his face. We just can’t seem to make progress.

Why does he have to learn to ride a bike you may ask? I just feel like it’s something we all learn and would be good for his confidence. I don’t push the issue too much the last bike session we had was like a month ago. All I’m trying to say is how do you help your kid when they just freeze and don’t make the attempt? And I’m not even talking just about bike riding but in general life situations he’s only getting older.

Apart from a lot of patience which I know, what are some tips to helping out my step son when he completely shuts down when taken out of his comfort zone?

I’ve been trying to teach this boy how to ride a bike since he was like seven/eight years old but he has two left feet, his coordination skills just aren’t great and he’s been like that since he came into my life when he was five. On and off I’ve been trying to teach him, we take breaks when we’ve run thru it a few times and have taken an extended break (three years) because one he out grew his bike (he’s a big kid 5ft 6in and only 11.) nGot him a new to us bike that’s one size before an adult bike and well we’re back at it. I’ve worked with him with all I can work with I feel like. W

hen he was younger he had training wheels in the smaller bike that he outgrew quick my neighbor gave us like one of those bmx bikes that I tried installing training wheels on but didn’t work so we resorted to trying to balance by taking off the pedals and pushing with his legs like a balance bike and that’s where we’re at now with his current bike. He complained about the seat so I got him a comfy beach cruiser seat, said the pedals were too small swapped for bigger pedals, I’ve done just about everything that I can think of to make him feel comfortable and well we’re still at the same spot trying to push and balance. He completely freezes, doesn’t move and stands there looking at me with this blank look on his face. We just can’t make progress.

Why does he have to learn to ride a bike you may ask? I just feel like it’s something we all learn and would be good for his confidence. I don’t push the issue too much the last bike session we had was like a month ago. All I’m trying to say is how do you help your kid when they just freeze and don’t make the attempt? And I’m not even talking just about bike riding but in general life situations he’s only getting older. I have four boys that I have to help raise to become men!

Apart from a lot of patience which I know, what are some tips to helping out my step son when he completely shuts down when taken out of his comfort zone?

I’ve been trying to teach this boy how to ride a bike since he was like seven/eight years old but he has two left feet, his coordination skills just aren’t great and he’s been like that since he came into my life when he was five. On and off I’ve been trying to teach him, we take breaks when we’ve run thru it a few times and have taken an extended break (three years) because one he out grew his bike (he’s a big kid 5ft 6in and only 11.) nGot him a new to us bike that’s one size before an adult bike and well we’re back at it. I’ve worked with him with all I can work with I feel like. W

hen he was younger he had training wheels in the smaller bike that he outgrew quick my neighbor gave us like one of those bmx bikes that I tried installing training wheels on but didn’t work so we resorted to trying to balance by taking off the pedals and pushing with his legs like a balance bike and that’s where we’re at now with his current bike. He complained about the seat so I got him a comfy beach cruiser seat, said the pedals were too small swapped for bigger pedals, I’ve done just about everything that I can think of to make him feel comfortable and well we’re still at the same spot trying to push and balance. He completely freezes, doesn’t move and stands there looking at me with this blank look on his face. We just can’t make progress.

Why does he have to learn to ride a bike you may ask? I just feel like it’s something we all learn and would be good for his confidence. I don’t push the issue too much the last bike session we had was like a month ago. All I’m trying to say is how do you help your kid when they just freeze and don’t make the attempt? And I’m not even talking just about bike riding but in general life situations he’s only getting older.