u/MissMacky1015

I’m looking for validation from parents on a situation.

I have two teens who play the same sport, different schools, the younger one has played for 3 years and the older one it’s their first year.

On the days they’ve had games at the same time/ near by fields, I’ve spent first half at one and then the second half at the others game.

Today they have a game in completely different towns and I have to pick who’s to attend. I did attend the younger ones yesterday so I think it’s fair and the “right” thing to attend the older kids today.

This is where I’m caught up. The older kiddo told me they sincerely don’t care and to go to the younger siblings game. My eldest doesn’t get a ton of playing time and mostly stands there, the field isn’t as great for me to entertain my toddler while watching my eldest play so it does come with some “cons”. As much as these are downsides my gut says it’s not about the field, or the playing time it’s about showing up for them so they know they’re important.

My heart really wants to watch my younger kiddo because they get a ton of playing time and are a great player, the field they’ll be playing on is easier to manage my toddler , it’s just an open space where he can run where the other is just incrediblly tall bleachers which let’s be real, I can’t watch a game and keep eye on the toddler equally. But again at least I’d be showing up which is important.

I should go with my brain here and attend the oldest on the bleachers even though they said they truly don’t care, right?

Eldest is almost 16, second is almost 15.

We don’t have family nearby and my husband is their step dad but he’s a coach for a different sport that also has a game in case anyone wants to ask where my spouse is to help.

Edit to add: I just looked at the calendars for both teens and I have only one more game I’m available to attend for my younger teen, and like 4 more for my eldest. So I’m going to the younger teens game even though I was at one yesterday, and will miss the oldests today . While it feels really crappy today, it will work out in the long run to attend the next 4 for the oldest.

Anyone selling a rosemary dawn tuber?! It’s on my must have list

I found some worms in one of my hens stool, there was a LOT. We bought a dewormer and I plan to add it to their water today and treat over the next 5 days. My question is; what’s best for damage control to prevent spreading? Should I keep them in their coop/ run for the 5 days limiting where they are leaving these worm poops.. or should I continue letting them free range? We have a run built but haven’t ever used it as they free range on 2 acres.

My biggest concern is that I have a toddler who is always putting things in his mouth and now I’m terrified of him getting worms. He also loves holding them and handling their eggs. We do change clothes and wash hands when coming inside if he’s been in the coop but often will sneak a finger in his mouth before we come back inside. To prevent him getting worms I’d really like to keep the hens contained.

Hello parents of Reddit!

I am looking for advice or opinions about a reoccurring struggle within our home regarding my teens and chores.

I want to first specify that I don’t believe they have “a lot of household responsibility” and honestly I’m wondering when that even kicks in or how much they realistically should be doing at their ages.

First teen is just shy of 16, freshman year high school. Second teen is 15 in 4 months, 8th grade.

The 16 year olds chores are to unload the dishwasher and then reload it with any dishes that sat in the sink. I want to specify that I won’t let the dishwasher sit all day for her to empty, if it’s ready at 1 but she isn’t home until 6:30pm then I obviously take care of it. So in theory she probably empties it once every other day or something. The issue is that she just throws utensils in the drawer all disheveled and often still dirty. Tupperware is just tossed in the cabinet and it’s like a scavenger hunt for odds & ends. I’ve taken the 1:1 time to show where things go, ask her to hand wash something and follow up with everyone that dishes need to already be rinsed before going into the washer. Still… every. Single. Time… without fail, it’s a mess. I’m tired of going behind to redo it or scold and follow her around like a toddler. I’m at my wits end and looking for a natural consequence that makes sense but will be uncomfortable enough that she actually does it the right way.

She also has this habit of soaking our counters while she does anything in the sink. It is ruining the grout/ sealing from constant wetness. I mean it will be left soaked if she hand washes anything and I’ve asked 100x to just wipe it up. It’s always “oops sorry”. I know these don’t sound like big things but my plate is so full and I’m spread so thin that it’s making me miserable to constantly follow up after her.

Next is my almost 15 year old, his chore is to empty the trash and place in the bins . Again, he never does this and will actually walk past it if I’ve put it out for him.

Typically I will put their phones in downtime until they get home to do their chores the right way if it’s like this but clearly that isn’t working. I need alternative suggestions

They are both responsible for their own rooms and their own laundry. I do mine, my husband’s and our toddlers along with cleaning rags / towels ect. I believe that as they get older there’s no reason why they aren’t contributing to household tasks more evenly as they share all these same spaces and use them equally too. I’ve tried to explain that you don’t wake up at 18 and all of a sudden you’re now responsible for helping out around the house.

I think I’ve gone wrong in my parenting unintentionally because if I had started with chores when they were younger maybe it would be easier. But here we are..

Is it truly the parents responsibility to vacuum, clean the bathroom, pick up after dinner and do all household tasks forever ? Am I delusional for thinking of tacking on weekly chores like 16 year old cleans the bathroom 1x weekly and the 15 year old does a deeper vacuum once a week? I already vacuum daily because we have a toddler and multiple dogs.

How much is “normal” for teenagers to share in household responsibility?

And please help me come up with light consequences for the laziness I’m seeing with the existing chores.

Please share what’s worked for your family or when you were growing up.

Also, both kids live here full time - no split homes or 50/50. I do offer paid chores which are bigger things like stacking our split wood but believe household tasks shouldn’t be paid because it’s just part of taking care of your home.

When are we planting out our dahlias in 5b/6a?!

Does anyone supplement with a collagen powder they really like? I’m looking for a collagen supplement that’s free from heavy metals and 3rd party tested / ethically sourced ect.

I’m in zone 5b/6a and have cosmos that really need to go out. They’re rooting through the bottom of the cells they’re in and starting to just look unhappy but our last frost date isn’t until 5/15. Would they be ok to just give it a go and plant out now?

I’m feeling a little confused and sourcing opinions. I’m a 33F who still nurses my 2 year old toddler, I drink about 100oz water a day. Sleep could be better as we co sleep but about 6-7 hours a night, work out 3 days a week and eat pretty healthy.

I started using timeless vit C, eucerin anti pigment, a moisturizer and SPF for the morning . Night time is a multi acid toner, anti pigment eucerin, then alternate nights of retinol, snail mucin, moisturizer.

The problem is my forehead wrinkles look deeper today than when I started religiously using this skincare routine. I do feel my skin is softer and the Eucerin helps old scarring / melasma but I can’t shake how fast and worse my forehead wrinkles are appearing.

I use to get Botox about 4 years ago but as a SAHM it’s not in the budget.

We’ve had chickens for 4 years and there’s obviously been learning curves but one thing I’ve noticed is that we never have had mites or anything contagious. The most birds we’ve had is 30 and the least is 15 with a coop that’s 8 feet by 10 feet, they free range on one wooded acre and we scoop their poop board 2x weekly. I don’t think our coop is the “cleanest” or that we some superior set up but I have noticed that in 4 years we haven’t had any issues, it made me curious if confined birds are more likely to disease and mites?

Unfortunately their free range days are coming to an end as we have a big garden happening, and it does concern me that now we will see negative behaviors like pecking/ bullying and sickness.

Does anyone have thoughts?