Older “nontraditional” students can be really nice university roommates

I saw a post go viral on tiktok (2.3M views in less than a week) of a nontraditional student moving into university housing. He was still young (28) but people in the comments said nontraditional students should not be allowed to live in dorms.

I personally think this is a closed-minded sentiment. I understand an older student may not be the “normal” college roommate, but I’ve known people who have lovely experiences with them. I also think any nontraditional student moving into university accommodation knows what they’re getting and might actually be more accepting than traditional students.

For example, my friend shared a suite (kitchen+bathroom+living room) with a woman in her 60s who was going back to school. If he came home late from a night out, she’d wake up early to make him a big breakfast, then ask him all about his night out. She wasn’t judgmental at all, she just genuinely enjoyed his stories.

I also remember an older woman from when I was in undergrad looking for a suite mate. She would post on the class Facebook and seemed really nervous about getting random suite mates and them not liking her :( I’d estimate she was in her 50s and she said she used a CPAP machine, but was otherwise quiet. She apologized for the machine being a little noisy, but said that in return, she didn’t mind having roommates that have people over in the common areas late at night. I feel like this is a really fair trade.

Edit: I also think building intergenerational bonds is important. It can help all of us be more accepting of each other and not just think every old person is a “evil boomer” or every young person is just a “screenager.”

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 9 hours ago
▲ 396 r/PhD

So sick of hearing “but that’s not like, a JOB” and all variations

I am a first year PhD student and I have already heard about 4,000 variations of “you don’t have a real job” that I am close to pulling my hair out. It has to happen about three times a week, and usually comes with this condescending scrunched-face expression I can’t stand.

Even today, I was telling a family friend that I have a great relationship with my supervisor, and they went “yea, well it’s because that’s not REALLY a JOB.” And I said “actually it is, I’m a paid researcher by the university. I’m on multiple research projects in multiple departments.” And then they look at me skeptically like I’m in denial or something 😅

How do you deal with this?

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 8 days ago

Mothers, when did you notice your daughters had very different body types, and how did you approach that?

Did you notice this when they were young, or adults? How do you approach discussions about body image?

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 18 days ago

There is a higher percentage of “dumb” parents now than in previous generations.

This isn’t to “parent shame,” but just to acknowledge a simple train of thought. I’m genuinely open to all perspectives on this and know it will be controversial.

  1. Current social conditions including the cost of living and ongoing climate crisis have led many young adults to rethink parenthood. (Rethinking could mean being more intentional as a parent, or delaying parenthood, or not reproducing at all.)

  2. The young adults considering current social conditions before reproducing display greater critical thinking skills and social awareness.

  3. Because this population of young adults is rethinking parenthood, there is a higher percentage of truly ignorant and dumb parents as these people are still having children at the same rate. (You know the ones… the people who want their “mini me” and view their child more as an accessory than a human being.)

This is why we suddenly have school board disagreements over books that have been taught in schools for decades, or demands for a social media ban even though they don’t work and risk your privacy as well, or screaming children in every restaurant or bus.

I have no issue with children, I actually really love children. I have an issue with shitty adults, which includes bad parents, and by the looks of it, we will only be getting more of them…

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 28 days ago

To young queer Americans planning/applying for university: Do no sink yourself in debt for "the queer experience."

It's been a decade since I was planning for college in the United States and at the time, I believed the only place you could find a queer community was at a private liberal arts college, especially an all-women's college. I had many peers go down this route and accumulate a lot of debt, but they justify it for the "queer experience."

Personally, I went to a state university and graduated with much less debt which I was able to pay off in just a few years, but still had a massive queer community. I would even go to the extent of saying my queer experience was healthier than my friends are private liberal arts schools because the community was less cliquey and everyone wasn't in each other's business. (My degree has also served me very well, but that's more of a personal topic.)

This may vary more state-to-state now than it did when I was applying, but there truly are queer people everywhere, especially on large campuses. Please do not let your peers or social media manipulate you into thinking there is no queer community at more accessible institutions.

I know this post may ruffle some feathers, but as schools like Smith, Wellesley, Emerson, NYU, Mount Holyoke, Tufts, and Haverford (all of which I had queer friends go to for the "queer experience") approach or surpass $100k a year, I feel it is the responsibility of older queer people to remind prospective queer students there are more affordable options.

This is not to say "do not attend these institutions under any circumstances." They're all great schools! But do not feel your only option as a queer person is to take out $300k in student loans.

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 2 months ago

Sophia Bush on the leaked list for Peter Thiel’s secret society “Dialog”

Has anyone else seen this news? I feel like I’m going insane. Why would Sophia Bush be there?

I did turn to my friend and go “oh my god, it’s evil gay, Sophia Bush.”

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 2 months ago
▲ 78 r/rhori

I don’t love cast trips with husbands, especially for a finale

I might be alone in this, but I don’t like the husbands being on cast trips. It changes the entire dynamic. I feel like when it’s just the women they can be more themselves and get into silly situations! They feel too put-together when men are there.

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 2 months ago

Irish Dykes, what are we thinking for dublin pride?

A bunch of my friends (including my girlfriend) will be out of town Dublin Pride weekend for a rugby tournament. (The jokes write themselves.) My other friends are looking to me to throw together our plans. So, what are we thinking?

I see Mother has a block party both Friday and Saturday but I’m not sure I want to commit to €50 a day. How’s the King Afterparty at Opium? It’s only €20 and I’m willing to risk that. I just hate when you buy a ticket for an event and end up waiting an hour just to get in…

Not planning to go to the Dyke Night party because my friend’s sister is coming into town for the parade the next day and I don’t want to be hungover, but I’ll be at the Dyke March with some friends.

Appreciate all suggestions in advance :)

Also, sorry if you see me posting this in several groups. I’m meeting my friends for dinner tonight and figure we’ll discuss our plans then.

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 2 months ago

Dublin, Ireland Lesbians: what are we ACTUALLY doing for Pride?

A bunch of my friends (including my girlfriend) will be out of town Dublin Pride weekend for a rugby tournament. (The jokes write themselves.) My other friends are looking to me to throw together our plans. So, what are we thinking?

I see Mother has a block party both Friday and Saturday but I’m not sure I want to commit to €50 a day. How’s the King Afterparty at Opium? It’s only €20 and I’m willing to risk that. I just hate when you buy a ticket for an event and end up waiting an hour just to get in…

Not planning to go to the Dyke Night party because my friend’s sister is coming into town for the parade the next day and I don’t want to be hungover, but I’ll be at the Dyke March with some friends.

Appreciate all suggestions in advance :)

Also, sorry if you see me posting this in several groups. I’m meeting my friends for dinner tonight and figure we’ll discuss our plans then.

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 2 months ago

Any Dublin, IE lesbians? What are we doing for pride?

A bunch of my friends (including my girlfriend) will be out of town Dublin Pride weekend for a rugby tournament. (The jokes write themselves.) My other friends are looking to me to throw together our plans. So, what are we thinking?

I see Mother has a block party both Friday and Saturday but I’m not sure I want to commit to €50 a day. How’s the King Afterparty at Opium? It’s only €20 and I’m willing to risk that. I just hate when you buy a ticket for an event and end up waiting an hour just to get in…

Not planning to go to the Dyke Night party because my friend’s sister is coming into town for the parade the next day and I don’t want to be hungover, but I’ll be at the Dyke March with some friends.

Appreciate all suggestions in advance :)

reddit.com
u/ModeratelyOffline — 2 months ago

Dublin lesbians: what are we actually doing for pride?

A bunch of my friends (including my girlfriend) will be out of town Dublin Pride weekend for a rugby tournament. (The jokes write themselves.) my other friends are looking to me to throw together our plans. So, what are we thinking?

I see Mother has a block party both Friday and Saturday but I’m not sure I want to commit to €50 a day. How’s the King Afterparty at Opium? It’s only €20 and I’m willing to risk that. I just hate when you buy a ticket for an event and end up waiting an hour just to get in…

Not planning to go to the Dyke Night party because my friend’s sister is coming into town for the parade the next day and I don’t want to be hungover, but I’ll be at the Dyke March with some friends.

Appreciate all suggestions in advance :)

reddit.com
u/ModeratelyOffline — 2 months ago

RHONY Erin Lichy’s “friend” records, uploads r*pe jokes at Tribeca Film Festival

There is also a New York Times article about what Lizzy said: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/07/world/middleeast/tribeca-film-festival-response-palestinian-joke.html

Lizzy was previously a RHONY cast member and chose not to continue filming. Erin publicly supported Lizzy’s decision and has continued to claim Lizzy as a friend in podcasts and interviews. Erin even says she was initially cast due to her friendship with Lizzy.

I think Lizzy’s comments are particularly horrible and the network may need to reconsider Erin’s casting as she continues to align herself with this individual.

u/ModeratelyOffline — 2 months ago

June aka Pride feels really hard rn.

Sorry if this post is a bit depressing.

I came out over a decade ago when I was a teenager and became very involved in pride organizing pre-Trump. Around 2018, we started to receive backlash over simple things like pride flags in public spaces. By 2024, I had enough negative experiences that I decided to step back.

Nowadays, it feels like all pride is is a month for homophobes on Facebook and Instagram to bitch about every event, flag, or positive post. I’m sick of reading how “all gays are pedophiles” or “why feed this mental illness.” I really need to stop reading the comments, but especially on local posts I feel like I need to look and see if there is anyone I personally know saying hateful things.

At this point, it feels like harm does more harm *for me personally* than good. I don’t feel connected, I just feel reminded of all the people that hate me.

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 3 months ago
▲ 175 r/rhori

Capo Basement 😭

Sorry, but this has to be a stand alone post. Any other Boston girls so entertained by the idea of Real Housewives filming in the Capo basement?

For those unaware, Capo basement does a “supper club” (which is what we see on the show) but it’s more-so known for being a glorified college bar after supper club wraps. It’s kind of a joke in Boston. The carpet has seen more beer, sweat, and puke than you could imagine 😭 Lucky for our ladies they are sat on the dance floor

This is no shade at the ownership group or the event. It looked cute and good for Rich. But oh my god, I cannot imagine being a grown woman having a serious conversation in the same basement where BU grad students get shitfaced every weekend.

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 3 months ago

Lesbians that don’t like giving head/oral?

Hi everyone, this post is so awkward but I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this and I could use some support.

I (25F) have been dating my girlfriend (24NB) for 6 months. We have a very healthy sex life. However, I noticed my girlfriend doesn’t eat me out. They only use their fingers or strap which is okay with me because I am always pleased, but it’s just something I noticed. (I usually top anyway.)

Today, my girlfriend brought it up and explained they don’t like the sensory experience of giving head. They said it has nothing to do with me and this has been an ongoing issue in their sex life, but the smell and taste makes them gag. They said it’s hard for them to talk about but they’d rather tell me than try and end up gagging.

They emphasized repeatedly that this isn’t about me, but it’s about 8 hours later and I’m feeling a bit embarrassed/insecure. Regardless of their previous experiences, I think being told by a partner that your genitals would make them gag is a bit hard to swallow.

I don’t want to bring it back up because I know it was hard for them to talk about in the first place, but has anyone else experienced this either themselves or from a partner? To clarify, this isn’t as a dealbreaker for me. As I said earlier, our sex life is healthy and I’m pleased. I guess I’m just feeling a little sensitive and would appreciate hearing if anyone else has experienced this.

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 3 months ago
▲ 1 r/UCD

Current first years: one week left for my survey!

Hi all, I’ve previously posted on here, but just as an update, this is the last week I can collect data for my master’s thesis. If you’re a first year student, please consider filling out this survey. It only takes about 5 minutes and it would be a tremendous help. I appreciate any and all support 🙏

As I stated in my previous post, all information regarding data privacy is available in the survey description and I am always happy to answer any questions you may have

https://www.reddit.com/r/UCD/s/4ni8M2gLl6

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 3 months ago
▲ 0 r/UCD+1 crossposts

Hi there! I am a current postgraduate student at UCD researching the relationship between AI use and learning behaviors.

If you're a current UCD student and completed the Leaving Cert in 2025, please consider filling out my survey. All responses will be anonymized and information regarding data collection is available on the survey page.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out!

LINK: https://forms.gle/rfnUib6ghEnEkv4w7

Best of luck with exams everyone!

u/ModeratelyOffline — 3 months ago

I know this will ruffle some feathers. I’ll start by saying I know a lot of people don’t share this opinion, and I’m open to hearing different perspectives on this. And as always, there’s nothing wrong with having a different opinion.

I keep seeing posts from lesbians about how bisexuals “hijacked” lesbian visibility week. I’ll be honest, outside of the opportunity to advocate for better rights for queer people, I don’t care much about the various days and weeks. A bisexual posting during lesbian visibility week is certain WEIRD, but it does not impact my life in a tangible way. Honestly, last week was no different than any other week in my life (outside of making a straight friend pay for my pint while we were out, which he would have done anyway because it was his round).

I feel dismissive saying this is a “touch grass” instance because there are so many reasons why these days and weeks are important to people, especially those who may have struggled with their identity in the past or live in highly political contexts. I just think it’s a shame to take something that can be an important personal celebration and make it something negative based on how other people interact with it, which is completely out of your control.

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u/ModeratelyOffline — 4 months ago