u/Mundane-Sky-8809

For context I'm 30 years old and American, lived here my whole life. I'm interested in travelling to Europe in the future but am currently broke, lol...

Anyway, I've known a handful of Europeans both personally and professionally and they've basically all been nice, friendly, chill and respectful. Then I get online, especially to Reddit, and Europeans are like... totally rude and mean about anything American/Americans. Why is there such a huge discrepancy? Are these even the same people??? Is it just the Internet being the Internet? Or something deeper?

I go back and forth on this one. On the one hand I look good sometimes in the mirror and I would want to go off of that ideally, but other times I want to look like someone completely different, like Aliya Mustafina. Omfg, she is GORGEOUS.

Y'all, I'm not well in the head, not well at all. I've been to 5 or 6 therapists and have been too embarrassed/nervous/shy to really open up to them about my most pressing issue. How pathetic is that? ALSO, I tried opening up about my issue on Reddit and people just acted like I was crazy and told me "Go to therapy" which I've already fucking done but again was too embarrassed to truly open up for fear of being judged.

I'm on Effexor, Abilify and Wellbutrin and it feels like they aren't doing shit. I'm have suicidal thoughts every single day and they don't go away; it's out of control. It feels like no one can help me, not me, not family, not mental health professionals, not anyone in the world. My greatest desire is to be a completely different person because I hate myself so much, but that's impossible, and I'm at a loss here. Just had to vent.

How did working with the psychologist differ from working with a therapist?

TIA!

More than anything in this world

When I listen to music, the melody is the main thing I love. Lyrics can be cool, but they're really just a bonus if they're meaningful.

Really need help with this, TIA!!

Title

As a 4, our self/identity is near and dear to us. But the ideal/fantasy self is not achievable. How do you deal with the frustration of this, how do you deal with the yearning for something impossible?