u/Nathought

I'm a 21-year-old college student living with my parents while I finish my undergraduate degree. I'll be moving out of state for grad school next year, so this isn't a forever situation.
My parents are active members of the LDS Church. Over the past few years I've realized I don't believe anymore, although I haven't made a huge deal out of it. Mentally, I've left the Church.
The issue is that whenever I tell my parents I don't want to attend church anymore, they say that because they provide me with free housing and food, attending church is basically part of the deal. They see it as something I owe them in exchange for living at home. I sort of see this as fair because I don’t have to pay for rent or food.
I want to be clear that I love my parents. They're good people, and I know they're acting from their beliefs rather than trying to be controlling for the sake of it. This also isn't something I'm willing to move out over, especially since I'll be leaving for grad school in about a year anyway.
I'm mostly trying to figure out how to think about this. Is this a reasonable boundary for parents to set with an adult child living at home? Or is it crossing a line by tying financial support to religious participation?

My future in-laws suddenly don't like me after finding out I'm not MAGA. How do I handle this?
My fiancée and I have been together for four years and are getting married next year.

Her family is extremely MAGA. For the entire time we've been together, they apparently assumed that because I'm a white Christian man, I shared all of their political views. The thing is, I don't. I'm a Democrat, I support LGBTQ people, and my views are pretty different from theirs.

The reason they never knew this isn't because I lied. I just never talked politics with them. They regularly make comments about Democrats being stupid, evil, ruining the country, etc. One example was when they claimed a government shutdown happened because Democrats wanted undocumented immigrants to vote in elections. Stuff like that would come up fairly often, and I always stayed quiet because I knew exactly how they'd react if they found out I disagreed.

I've never cared that they have different political beliefs than I do. I don't need everyone around me to think the same way. I always thought people could disagree and still have a good relationship.
A few weeks ago, my fiancée and I were on a FaceTime call with them when they noticed my Apple Watch had a Pride-themed rainbow watch face. They immediately pointed it out and asked about it. We just said, "Yeah, it's a rainbow watch face," and moved on.

Apparently they didn't move on.
A few days later they called my fiancée and told her they couldn't stop thinking about my "pride watch." The conversation turned into them being upset that I support LGBTQ people, upset that I'm a Democrat, and upset that my fiancée shares those views.
Then they started asking if I'm secretly gay.
They told my fiancée that they were worried I'd eventually leave her because I'm actually gay and that they felt obligated to warn her. My future MIL said she was concerned because I like more "feminine" things and am more emotional than my future FIL.

What really blew my mind was that they kept saying things like, "But you've never said anything. We always thought you were Republican." My fiancée pointed out that we never discussed it because we knew they would react exactly like this. Her and I are both progressive and they hate that fact.

Now it feels like their opinion of me has completely changed. Not because of how I've treated their daughter over the last four years, not because of my character, but because they found out I don't share their politics and because they think supporting gay people must mean you're gay yourself.
I'm grateful that my fiancée has been supportive and stood up for me, but I'm honestly hurt by all of this. I never judged them for their beliefs, but they seem unable to accept that someone can be a good person and disagree with them politically.
For anyone who has dealt with future in-laws who suddenly turned on you after learning your political views, how did you handle it? Did the relationship ever recover?

how we feeling! hoping that first LR was experimental

I'm out of the church, so I'm watching this unfold from the outside like I'm observing a nature documentary.

Before he even finished his mission, his mission president pulled him aside and said he had an impression that my friend should ask out a sister missionary as his last act before coming home. So he did.

She lives in Alaska. He lives in Utah.

They have been talking on the phone for hours every day for a few weeks. The first time they actually hung out in person was when his family randomly invited her to come to California with them on a family trip. First time meeting her in person. With his whole family. On a trip. And now he has been invited to hawaii w/ her family in a couple of weeks.

I texted him to ask how it went.

He sent me a picture of himself ring shopping.

For context: before he left on his mission two years ago, he was genuinely stressed about when the "right time" was to ask a girl to be his girlfriend. He was anxious about being out of the dating world for so long and how he'd navigate that when he got back.

One month later: ring shopping with a woman he had spent maybe a cumulative week with in person, because his mission president had a feeling, and he went to the temple and got a confirmation she was the one.

I love this man. He is my best friend. But Mormon relationship speedrunning is something I will never fully understand, no matter how many years I spent inside that culture.

Update forthcoming, I guess. Possibly a wedding invitation.

College student, 21 years old, part-time job, lives at home. Looking at a 2023 Toyota Corolla Hybrid LE FWD at an independent dealer in Utah. Listed at $22,145 with 15k miles. It's a fleet vehicle.

I've done some research and KBB fair purchase price for a 2023 Corolla Hybrid LE from a dealer is $19,750 for a clean example. This is a fleet vehicle so I figured I should be paying less than that, not more.

A few questions for people who actually know this industry:

1. What's a realistic price to target OTD on this specific car, given the fleet history and mileage? I'm thinking $18,000 opening ask, walk away at $19,750, pounce immediately under $19,000. Am I in the right ballpark?

2. I asked for the Carfax and maintenance records before scheduling a test drive. They said they'd send "any available service records." The hedged language makes me nervous — how common is it for fleet vehicles to come with no service records beyond Carfax at an independent dealer?

3. I have $10k to put down (gift from parents), financing $8-9k. 750 credit score. Should I get pre-approved at a credit union before going in, and should I withhold that info until after we agree on the OTD price?

4. Any red flags specific to independent dealers vs. Toyota franchise dealers I should watch for on this type of car?

Happy to share more details if useful. Thanks.

CREDIT PROFILE

• Current cards: Delta Gold Amex $15,000 limit, 12/2025 | Discover it $5,000 limit, 03/2023 | Chase Freedom Unlimited $4,000 limit, 01/2026
• FICO Score: 750 (Discover Credit Scorecard)
• Oldest account age: 3 years 3 months
• Cards approved in past 6 months: 1 (CFU)
• Cards approved in past 12 months: 1 (CFU)
• Cards approved in past 24 months: 2 (CFU + AMEX)
• Annual income: ~$22,000 (earned income; scholarships cover tuition separately)

CATEGORIES

• OK with category-specific cards: Yes
• OK with rotating category cards: Yes
• Dining: ~$150/mo
• Groceries: ~$100/mo
• Gas: ~$100/mo
• Travel: ~$100/mo (hotels primarily, no Uber/Lyft, flights booked infrequently but value perks like free checked bags and flight credits)
• International travel: Not currently but a major goal over the next 5-10 years
• Rent: N/A
• Other: ~$150/mo miscellaneous

MEMBERSHIPS & SUBSCRIPTIONS

• Amazon Prime: No
• Costco/Sam's Club: No
• Disney Bundle or Hulu: No
• Business cards: No
• Active military: No

PURPOSE

• Purpose: Smarter saving/spending with my cards, maximizing the credit card "game."
• Preferred airline: Delta (Gold Amex pays for itself via free checked bag — I fly Delta at least 2-3 times a year so the $150 AF is covered by avoided bag fees alone before any other benefits)
• Cards I've been looking at: Chase Sapphire Preferred

Early 20s student trying to confirm my setup makes sense and whether the CSP is the right next move, given my goals. My CFU points are currently stranded at 1cpp cash back with no way to transfer to partners. CSP feels like the obvious fix since it unlocks UR transfers retroactively, earns 3x dining vs CFU's 1.5x, and brings my total annual fees to $245/yr. I know the SUB occasionally goes elevated to 75k-100k UR, so I'm considering timing the application. Longer term, I want to travel a lot internationally and want a setup that gives me real flexibility beyond just Delta miles. Is CSP the right move at my income and spending level, or is there something that makes more sense given where I'm headed?

I have been scoring in the mid-high 160s and have broken into the 170s on a couple of recent PTs. What is the best thing for me to do from now until the test date to keep my score as high as I can get it? Practice section every day? Drill every day? Some combo? I take a PT weekly and review it weekly, and have been going through the 7sage practice section, but am looking for more advice on what to do as the test gets closer. I am working 40 hours a week as well for context.

Starting law school soon, so I’m trying to be smart with money. I have $10K to put down and want to keep my monthly payment as low as possible. I don’t need anything flashy — just something reliable, efficient, and that’ll last me through school and beyond without nickel-and-diming me on repairs.
I’m targeting 2023 models with 30,000–50,000 miles on them, which should keep the purchase price reasonable while still having plenty of life left that I can drive for 10+ more years (not having kids in that time frame so no need to worry about crazy backseat space).

Here’s my thought process so far:

1. Corolla XLE vs Prius LE — If I’m going up to XLE money anyway, the Prius LE seems like it’s better equipped at a similar price with better mpg and more cargo space. Am I thinking about this right?

Do I just go with the bare bones LE for the big price drop or do I go for an upgrade? Is the upgrade worth it or is it just a luxury thing I don’t need? Or do I go as far as getting the LE Camry?

Thanks!

I got my hair cut today, shorter than usual. I wanted a cleaner look and honestly felt really good and confident about it. When my girlfriend saw me, she immediately started laughing and told me it didn't look good. She then pulled up a picture of Manny from Ice Age and said my hair looked like that.

This isn't the first time. She's done this before whenever I go shorter, which is part of why I was already a little anxious going into it. I brushed the comments off in the moment, but it genuinely hurt.

Later, when we left her apartment, I calmly told her that what she said made me uncomfortable and hurt my feelings. She laughed it off. I asked her to please take it seriously and stop laughing and she kept laughing. Eventually she stopped and I asked her not to do that again. Her response was a snarky "I guess I'll just never comment on your haircut ever again" which I called out as not being a real apology.

She then just kept saying "I'm sorry" but it felt hollow and I told her I needed her to actually mean it. I asked her why she was laughing when she apologized at first and she said she was laughing at something else.. i asked her what and she said she didn't have to tell me. I think it was my haircut still. Maybe the situation and she didn't think i should be this upset? She calmed down for a moment and it felt more genuine, but I was still hurt and ended up just dropping her back at her apartment.

For context this is a pattern. I get anxious every time I go shorter because I know there's a chance this happens. Am I overreacting???? Should I have just accepted her apologies she made a couple minutes after her first two crappy ones?

I was leaning towards remote testing but after the April test is in person going to be the move?

Girlfriend and I have been together 4.5 years. Her dad is a physician and over that time I’ve built a pretty clear picture of him:

•	Argues constantly with his family, threatens to leave, and walks out mid-fight  
•	Called my girlfriend a bitch and said he’d be fine never talking to her again  
•	Said out loud that God would forgive him if he cheated on his wife  
•	Asked me and others to write fake 5-star reviews so he could ditch a job where he had bad reviews and look clean at a new one. I said no.  
•	Treats his son like a golden child and his daughters by a completely different standard

What just happened:
Him and his wife were in town. My family invited my girlfriend’s family to lunch, a real meet-the-families moment after 4.5 years. We made food. Everyone was excited. (My girlfriend and her two siblings live in the same state as me, her parents in a different one)

The day of about one hour before, her dad announced he was also bringing son’s girlfriend of one month. My girlfriend said adding someone last minute to a first family introduction isn’t respectful.

He blew up at her and her sister, stormed out, and cancelled five minutes before lunch with the food already on the table. My girlfriend cried for hours. My family was left confused about the situation and why they’d leave. He and his wife ended up ditching completely and tried to see some other friends of theirs.

The confusing part is that he is not hostile to me directly. He invites me to dinner, has had me at his home, and just invited me on a family trip to Hawaii. So I genuinely don’t know how to act around him. I should clarify: in the past he has said some pretty nasty things about me with no warrant (my girlfriend and her siblings agree). I have tried so hard to be kind to him and outwardly to him have done nothing but that.

He’s done things in the past that have made me lose even more respect. The way he treats women in his family is not okay with me, he has asked people to write fake 5 star reviews of his practice so that he could get a new job (he had bad reviews and asked for boosts from people he knew that haven’t seen him; I refused), and threatens to leave in a lot of situations if he is upset.

Whenever I’m honest with my girlfriend that I don’t like or respect him, she shuts down. I don’t bring it up constantly, but I won’t lie about it either. She tells me negative things about him all the time, so it’s not like she doesn’t see it. But the moment I agree or share my own view, she gets defensive.
1. How do I talk to her about this without it feeling like an attack on her family?
2. Do I have to respect or like him just because he’s her dad?

TL;DR: GF’s dad has a long pattern of emotional volatility, called her a bitch, and asked me to help commit review fraud. He just blew up our families’ first lunch five minutes before it started because my GF said adding his son’s one-month girlfriend last minute was disrespectful. She cried for hours. I’m done pretending I respect him but she gets upset when I say so. How do I handle this?

My fiancée’s family was supposed to come over to my family’s place for lunch so everyone could meet for the first time. My family has tried to coordinate something with my fiancée’s family for a long time now, as we’ve been together for 4.5 years.

Five minutes before they were supposed to arrive, her dad canceled. No warning.

The reason (as I understand it): my fiancée said it probably wasn’t a great idea to invite her brother’s girlfriend last minute. My future FIL had just met this girl the day before, and has only been dating my fiancée’s brother for like a month. My family hadn’t met anyone in her family formally yet. FIL was pitching inviting her approx. 1 hour before the lunch was supposed to happen, and my family was not planning on another person, and this lunch was supposed to be a family meet family type thing. For context FIL had always treated his son’s partners as the best thing to ever happen and wants them around always and treats them well, whereas for his daughters their partners start off as bad people and he doesn’t treat them well (it took him two years to “accept” me).

He got really upset, called her names, and said he didn’t need a relationship with her. He stormed out of her apartment and ignored everyone until right before the lunch was supposed to happen. This kind of reaction isn’t new, but it still hit her pretty hard. She’s in her early 20s and was really shaken by it.

The next day, he reached out to me asking for my dad’s contact info, with a quick apology for “yesterday.” Nothing else. He texted my dad later a quick short apology. For more context here instead of going to meet my family, he brought everyone but my fiancé to go see old friends instead before texting my family letting them know they couldn’t make it, and did that instead of lunch with us.

I just sent the number. No “it’s all good,” no trying to smooth things over, nothing else.

In my head, my fiancée and I are a unit. If he’s willing to talk to her like that and basically cut her off over something small, I don’t feel like it’s my job to keep things warm or act like everything’s normal.

At the same time, we’re getting married in about a year, so part of me wonders if I should’ve handled it differently or tried to de-escalate more.

AIO for keeping it cold and not engaging beyond the bare minimum?