u/NbOPO4

27M. I am from India, but currently I live in Melbourne. All my life, I have been very shy and introverted (selectively extroverted). I was insecure about the way I looked for most of my life, until a few years ago when I realized that I am actually not that bad-looking.

I was chatting with my colleagues during lunch, and everybody was talking about their romantic lives. A few were married, a few were about to get married (to people they met on Hinge), and a few are currently on Hinge and going out on weekends. When it came to my turn, I admitted that I had never been on a real date in my life.

Then they started asking about my sexual life. I told them I had never really considered it seriously because I was never focused on that aspect of life. One of my friends was shocked to know that I am 27 and still a virgin. He said, “You would actually be a great person to date. You have peculiar interests that are uncommon, you’re selectively extroverted, you know how to talk to people, and you’re empathetic with a perspective of your own.”

He then asked, “Don’t you feel like having someone beside you when you go out?”

I said, “I do, but I honestly don’t know what to do.”

He replied, “You should join Hinge.”

I told him I don’t even have good pictures to begin with, and he said, “You don’t have to look perfect, you just have to look real. You look very young, and you articulate your thoughts really well.”

He was even about to create a Hinge profile for me. I told him I needed a few days to think about it, and if I decide to do it, I’ll reach out to him for tips on improving my profile. He gets a lot of matches and seems to meet amazing women to spend time with.

The reason I’m writing this today is because I genuinely feel like maybe I should finally give it a try. There are a few people online who tell me they like me, but I don’t know how serious they actually are.

What’s your take on this? Would you give any advice to someone completely new to dating apps? What are some challenges beginners usually face, and what should I keep in mind?

Thank you :)
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Note: Please don’t target me for opening up about my personal life. If you have nothing constructive to say, it’s better not to spread negativity.

I became a feminist because I love my mom a lot. She had a terrible life due to patriarchy and the societal structure imposed on women. I want my sister to have a liberal and independent life. She studies at Indian Institute of Management Ahmedabad now, and I love her so much. She is like a replica of my mom.

There was a time when we were in a terrible financial situation, and I was sponsoring both my sister’s education and my own. There were instances when my parents wanted my sister to stop studying, but I always told my mom, “Do you want her to suffer like you did? To be trapped with a husband and have no life of her own? If not, let her study.”

Now, in recent years, whenever conversations about gender equality come up at my workplace and I express that I am a feminist - meaning I believe women and men should be treated equally, given the same opportunities, and not judged based on gender or skin color - some people (Indian man all the time) call me a simp.

They assume that if a man is feminist, it must be because he cannot get women and thinks being feminist will help him get laid. Why is the mindset of some Indian men so poisoned?

I am a feminist because I want my sister to have the same opportunities I had (so that she doesn’t suffer like my mom). I want the best for her. She is the best, and she deserves the best.