u/Negative-Carob5814

I am so sick and tired of masking.

Recently diagnosed (m21) and finally understand why daily social interaction has always been a performance to me. Feigning interest, making all the right "I'm listening" noises or "I heard that" reactions...the worst? Constant. Fake. Laughter.

Oh, can't forget the phrases I picked up from TV or my charisma role models that I've been parroting for years to achieve what those around me consider an oh-so-easygoing social behavior...

That's just the social side, too. I didn't realize my "anti-chud checklist" was a personalized coping mechanism to all my ADHD symptoms. Can't believe I never questioned those days I needed to make a to-do list so specific is starts with "wake up."

How do you recover from the years of learning to mask? What are your own masking behaviors? Do you try to work through them and stop, or do you embrace it?

I’m beginning the process of being prescribed some form of ADHD medication. I like to trip every couple of weeks, otherwise I hardly ever drink or smoke etc.

Just wondering if anyone here is on ADHD meds (any kind, as I’m not sure which direction I’ll head in yet and I want to make the choice with LSD in mind lol) and if so, do you notice an interaction or do you stop taking your meds beforehand?

I’ve also heard that some doctors make you take drug tests to make sure you’re not a substance abuser. I’ve never heard of any sort of drug test looking for LSD but does anyone here have experience with that?

My boyfriend and I finally moved in together, and now all my private disasters are being witnessed.

It’s just like I’m completely thoughtless sometimes. I cracked an egg straight into the trash can. I just spilled hot butter all over his jeans. For some reason my desk is sticky? If he tells me to do something, unless it’s explicitly addressed, I don’t do it right. I have an interruption problem. A spending impulse problem. A time blindness problem. An avoiding all appointments problem… All of it.

I’m at a loss when it comes to navigating the constant guilt and shame I feel. Recently diagnosed and unmedicated.

My ADHD has always been the third wheel in our relationship. Now, it feels like that wheel is steering the ship.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I’m a Reedie about to graduate, but I think it’s finally time I figure out what’s wrong with me. I’m here in Portland this summer, but Reed health services are closed for the break (and aren’t very helpful, anyway).

Where can I find a place to conduct an ADHD evaluation? I’m not looking for further counseling (I have a therapist from my home state). The few places I’ve seen will cost nearly $1,000. I work, but I don’t have enough to shell out a grand for my brain being stupid.

The only insurance I have is Blue Cross of Idaho, since my parents yanked me from Reed’s Pacific Source insurance without telling me + without my consent. Which fucked me over for top surgery, too.

Any pointers would be great! Thanks guys!

Edit: I don't have a Primary Care Provider. I'm a broke college kid in a basically brand new state.

I’ve studied in Portland for 3 years, but usually I spent my summers in Idaho. Over there, burn bans begin early to mid August. The fire service comes around the rural camp sites and checks out anything that indicates a fire… it was a $100 dollar fee.

I want to do a fire on campus in one of the brick pits we have on concrete for Fourth of July. I know Portland bans fireworks, but my boss told me people still get their hands on sparklers n such. So.. would a fire pit on the Fourth really be that bad? And how do I even check the burn ban days? Whatever website I looked at when my boss warned me seemed random.

Thanks! I want to stay safe, protect my wallet, and have a good Fourth for my first time not in Idaho.

Edit: I am really just trying to get a sense of what our community needs and believes is safe. All communities have certain rules around how serious certain policies and laws are taken, such as drinking in public or smoking on the sidewalk, illegal activity that many people don’t do anything about. So, thank you to everyone who just explained the full scope and idea around Portland fire bans.

My (21m dx) boyfriend (20m) and I have been dating for three years, soon to be four. It’s an amazing relationship; we were roommates freshman year, and now as we approach senior year, we are living together again.

Well, our relationship is very serious now, so living together looks a lot different than when we were freshman figuring it all out.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia which has made so much about my life clear, but it honestly sucks to put a name to this. Worst part, I’ve got the dys-triad or whatever, so add dyspraxia and dyscalculia.

I’m a history-literature major who excels in writing! Of all things. I slipped through the cracks. It was actually when my boyfriend and I read side by side for a shared class, and I was 10 pages behind him, that we realized something wasn’t right.

What I chalked up to my poor public school education causing me to flounder at my new swanky private college was actually a learning disorder. And the speech impediment was a language processing issue. The inability to complete fine motor tasks wasn’t clumsiness, but a literal brain gap. Being bad at math wasn’t because I was a sappy lover poet, but because my brain can’t even read numbers. Seriously, I can’t read anything that has more than two zeros behind it.

Well, three years later, and living with my boyfriend again… came the realization that I have ADHD.

How many times has my boyfriend told me something important about himself, and I forget it? Ask me to do a chore I’ve pushed off for weeks because I “just didn’t think about it”? Hell, neglected to shower because there’s “always something better to do”? Neglected to go to the bathroom because it’s “never the right time”? Stayed up til 4 am because I’ve suddenly found the coolest thing in the world, blew all my money on merch and copies and subscriptions, and then forgotten about it a month later? The list goes on. You all know how it is.

Basically, I’m feeling really pathetic, really stupid, and incredibly frustrated. My boyfriend is supportive and he has never ever once made me feel like a chud or anything, it’s all just me. Combine it with the dyslexia, the dyscalculia, the dyspraxia… it feels like diagnostic soup. I’ve always hated labels and my therapist of 7 years (bless her, life saver) doesn’t believe in a hard and fast diagnosis.

I want to start medication or something, but everyone I know who was diagnosed with AD(H)D was always so messed up from the medicine…

I could really use some support, because now that I have to confront these things that have lived in the shadows while I had a room to myself or neglectful parents are now in full stage lights.

My (21m) boyfriend (20m) and I have been dating for three years, soon to be four. It’s an amazing relationship; we were roommates freshman year, and now as we approach senior year, we are living together again.

Well, our relationship is very serious now, so living together looks a lot different than when we were freshman figuring it all out.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia which has made so much about my life clear, but it honestly sucks to put a name to this. Worst part, I’ve got the dys-triad or whatever, so add dyspraxia and dyscalculia.

I’m a history-literature major who excels in writing! Of all things. I slipped through the cracks. It was actually when my boyfriend and I read side by side for a shared class, and I was 10 pages behind him, that we realized something wasn’t right.

What I chalked up to my poor public school education causing me to flounder at my new swanky private college was actually a learning disorder. And the speech impediment was a language processing issue. The inability to complete fine motor tasks wasn’t clumsiness, but a literal brain gap. Being bad at math wasn’t because I was a sappy lover poet, but because my brain can’t even read numbers. Seriously, I can’t read anything that has more than two zeros behind it.

Well, three years later, and living with my boyfriend again… came the realization that I have ADD.

How many times has my boyfriend told me something important about himself, and I forget it? Ask me to do a chore I’ve pushed off for weeks because I “just didn’t think about it”? Hell, neglected to shower because there’s “always something better to do”? Neglected to go to the bathroom because it’s “never the right time”? Stayed up til 4 am because I’ve suddenly found the coolest thing in the world, blew all my money on merch and copies and subscriptions, and then forgotten about it a month later? The list goes on. You all know how it is.

Basically, I’m feeling really pathetic, really stupid, and incredibly frustrated. My boyfriend is supportive and he has never ever once made me feel like a chud or anything, it’s all just me. Combine it with the dyslexia, the dyscalculia, the dyspraxia… it feels like diagnostic soup. I’ve always hated labels and my therapist of 7 years (bless her, life saver) doesn’t believe in a hard and fast diagnosis.

I want to start medication or something, but everyone I know who was diagnosed with AD(H)D was always so messed up from the medicine…

I could really use some support, because now that I have to confront these things that have lived in the shadows while I had a room to myself or neglectful parents are now in full stage lights.

So, theres a gas station worker whom I have beefed with for months. Well, I’m a smoker and I love beer! But I look 12. I turned 21 in October, but my ID was expired by Halloween. I wanted smokes, but he refused me because it was expired! It angered me…I ran back home and returned with my passport so I could get my smokes.
Well, I use my passport now for every 21+ activity, because no one doubts me once they see it. Finally, after moving closer, I’ve been going to this gas station more frequently.
The other night, he looked at me, and he said the golden words: from now on, you don’t need your ID. I know you, I recognize you.
It was glorious!
We chatted about how I go to the college up the street. He asked what grade I was in—he thought I was a freshman, I’m about to be a senior—but we still had a great chat.
I went again for more smokes and beer and he asked me more questions about where I was from and who I was.
I’m just so happy that we had a breakthrough after months of awkward, tense passport and beer and cig exchanges!!

I just moved in with my boyfriend a few days ago. We've been together for 3 years. He is currently staying somewhere else (house sitting). This is my first summer not going back home for break. I work 9-5 full time, so I'm usually exhausted after. Last night, I was on the phone with a close friend from high school.

I had a few beers while we were on the phone. Hung up, went to bed, and left them on the table. He came into the room we share this morning, saw them, and became extremely upset.

I don't drink often, and we don't really drink too much together. I know he doesn't like alcohol, and he has something strange about it and his parents. I understand having parents who over drink, my own parents are like that.

I'm a college student and its the summer after a particularly stressful junior year. I really miss my hometown friends and I don't have any close friends where I currently live.

I don't have a drinking problem. But this morning, when he freaked out on me, it sort of put me off. We had a lovely dinner that night, like always, so things weren't different than normal. He told me this morning, while I was late for work and crying, that he was upset that I didn't tell him. That was his big issue... That I didn't text him last night to tell him I was having a few beers.

I need advice for how to continue forward with this. This isn't the first time I've had a few beers, he's seen them in my trash, and he's gotten very upset with me. It makes me feel extremely guilty and shameful. I don't know if I'm justifying a bad decision (a few beers on a work night) or if its genuinely something I am doing wrong in our relationship.

TLDR: Boyfriend noticed I had some beers last night and freaked out on me.