u/NoCommunity3295

Hey all, I’m currently freaking out because I didn’t check to see what class I was put into for community college, and realized it was intermediate algebra or algebra 2

Some background about me: I’m 18 and I probably need this class. I went online due to depression and anxiety in junior year and I pretty much cheated the entire time. I graduated and went straight to CC and My math skills are definitely not up to par. My main worry is how bad is this? I’m trying to go to school for software engineering and right now I’m completely freaking out, starting at this class I’m like 6 classes behind where I should be STARTING at. I’m currently enrolled in intermediate algebra, an English class, and an ITCS class (program design and development intro)

Can someone please give me advice on what I should do here? I’ve been sitting here trying to think my way out of this and I’m just getting a headache and it’s going nowhere productive.

Hey all, I’m currently freaking out because I didn’t check to see what class I was put into for community college, and realized it was intermediate algebra or algebra 2

Some background about me: I’m 18 and I probably need this class. I went online due to depression and anxiety in junior year and I pretty much cheated the entire time. I graduated and went straight to CC and My math skills are definitely not up to par. My main worry is how bad is this? I’m trying to go to school for software engineering and right now I’m completely freaking out, starting at this class I’m like 6 classes behind where I should be STARTING at. I’m currently enrolled in intermediate algebra, an English class, and an ITCS class (program design and development intro)

Can someone please give me advice on what I should do here? I’ve been sitting here trying to think my way out of this and I’m just getting a headache.

Hi there! 18F here, I just started hrt last week (yay!) but I read online and am experiencing the phenomenon of feeling my hormones wearing off (my shot day is tomorrow) I feel like I can’t cry like I was able to this week and I all around just feel pretty crappy. Does this mean I’m all out of estrogen? I’m on .15 ml injections, will this one day period where the hormones are low effect my progress in the long run? Any info would be great! Thanks! :3

Hi all, I’m 18F and 4 days on hrt. I was repressed for a really long time and because of that I got on hrt within a month of figuring myself out

Since I started I’ve been so, so happy. I remember waking up on my second day and getting in the shower and I was just listening to music like I usually do, but it felt like I was doing it as a girl. I felt so calm and peaceful and happy, I remember feeling like how I used to feel when I was little.

I can’t tell if this is what happiness is or if something’s wrong, I know it probably sounds really dumb but I don’t know if I’m allowed to… enjoy this? Should I be concerned? I was worried I might be manic or something (my therapist and I have discussed the possibility of bipolar disorder and she doesn’t think I have it) but I’m just really happy.

When I was first figuring out I was trans and wondering if I wanted to start hrt, the thing that actually was making me doubt myself was how sure I was, I’m normally not one for big life decisions at all, but everything about being a girl seemed so appealing and made me feel so warm

This is (hopefully) like that I think? I know it sounds dumb but this is really how I’m feeling, I can cry now like I’ve been wanting to for years, I feel like I have a will to live whereas before I didn’t really care if I died or not (not suicidal, just indifference)

Also, does this feeling go away? I know euphoria does as time goes on, but barring big life things that affected you, did you continue to stay this happy? Is this normal?

Title, I’m staying with my online friend who I’ve known for a year and a half in California. I do trust him but before the trip he was telling me about this pickaxe he took hiking once, then he started repeatedly making this really weird joke that he was going to “drive the pickaxe through my skull” someone would bring up a diamond pickaxe and he’d say something like “oh that’s kinda like the pickaxe I’m going to drive through your skull”

He did it about 4 or 5 times before I told him it was starting to make me really uncomfortable and he stopped. I don’t know if it really felt out of character for him because he does have that weird sense of humor, but it just felt weird.

Also before I came he had some weird hallucination for about a minute after he woke up from a dream, it just made him scared, not violent. He’s never experienced constant hallucinations or anything, and the few he has experienced have been related to sleep.

Now I have been paranoid that he’s going to kill me in my sleep. Even though logically I know he wouldn’t do that, (he has a family, aspirations, friends that he loves, and he’s a really caring and empathetic person, but now I feel weird and it won’t go away. I’m currently staying in his room.

I even talked about it with him, and he told me “even if I wanted to kill you, what would be the story after that, I lose our mutual friend and then go to jail and don’t have a life?”

Am I just being really anxious or does this actually sound weird? We’ve had a great time so far but I’ve been like hearing things every now and then out of him that are kinda adjacent to him trying to hurt me in some way, (although that may just be confirmation bias)

If his goal was to kill me then I don’t know why he would warn me that he’s gonna do it? Is this just anxiety?

Hi all, 18(F?) amab, title says most of it, but let me give some background.

When I was growing up I would have a desire to be a girl, but it was kinda subconscious thoughts and it wasn’t really that often. I was mostly fine with being a guy. I enjoyed going to guy sleepovers but sometimes I would think about how nice it would be to have long hair and wear girl clothes and stuff. It was NOT often at all. And was very minor and subconscious.

Then like a month ago I watched a movie that made me realize that I could just be a girl if I wanted to, and had what some might call an egg crack, although I am suspicious of it. For weeks after that movie all I could think about was being a girl and how awesome it would be and how cool it was that hrt even exists. I was literally fantasizing about the WORD “estrogen” it was so bad. 😭

I had a lot of doubts, one of which being that I didn’t have dysphoria, that was until after I saw this movie, where I started noticing my facial hair and the fact that I was balding and the way my voice sounds. If I am trans, I think I may have gotten by this long because I already have pretty feminine features, I always loved my thick hair and big lips and smooth face. But lately I’ve had to face the fact that this is all gonna go away soon.

I also tried makeup, nails, and a new name and pronouns. I still love the makeup, I still like the nails but it wasn’t as good as when I first did them, and I’ve actually gotten weird about the name and pronouns I think, it was incredibly euphoric when I was first getting called this new name (Noelle) but now when I’m called it I feel distressed, I can’t tell if this is because I don’t FEEL like a girl or if it’s because it’s not for me.

All of this is to say, I can’t tell if I’m just obsessed with staying aesthetically pleasing and young, or if I’m actually trans? Most of my “dysphoria” if you can even call it that is just related to staying young looking I feel. The only dysphoria I have that’s just related to being a guy is my wide ribcage and my voice. I was so sure literally the other day and was basically trying everything to get on estrogen as soon as possible, but it’s like as soon as I made the appointment at planned parenthood, the desire maybe went away? It’s so strange.

I also think about growing old as a man or a woman, and part of me maybe thinks I would want to grow old as a man? I’m not super sure about this one though.

Like, I feel like I look ok as a guy right now, and I don’t want to ruin that by getting on estrogen, I really want to look good as a girl if I transitioned, and I would hate that i sound like a man but I’d look like a girl, I’d just want to sound like a girl. does that make me not trans?

I also keep making these posts, I’m genuinely looking for advice but the answer I find myself hoping people give me is that I’m trans.

I just don’t want to be making a mistake. Can I have any advice? I know nobody can tell me if I’m trans or not, but from your opinion, do you think I am?

18 AMAB, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about my gender and while I feel like it would be cooler to be a girl, I don’t know if it’s as strong of a feeling as it should be to be considered “trans” I don’t really have dysphoria outside of really hating my facial hair, disliking my broad shoulders and wide ribcage, and not wanting to lose my “cuteness” (I have lots of feminine features as of right now that I like that I’m afraid of losing as I get older)

But outside of those things I really don’t have that much trouble being a guy? And sometimes I even like it, like when dap somebody up or feel like I’m really being masculine I can really like it sometimes.

At the same time when I think about being a girl, it’s more just like “hey that would probably be cooler than being a guy” I think about the outfits and the makeup and the social aspects and using a different name and pronouns and it just sounds cooler but, maybe in a more mild way than others? I also am not really sure if I’d want boobs if i started estrogen either. I definitely experienced euphoria when my friends started calling me by a new name and using different pronouns, but now it doesn’t really elicit the same reaction. And it’s only been a few weeks. Makeup still does though.

All of this is to say, I don’t know if I’m feeling the required feelings to be trans, but at the same time I’m talking to trans friends and sort of hoping that they’ll just say “yeah you’re trans and you’re a girl and it was super obvious this whole time”. I don’t really know how to make sense of these feelings so any advice would be amazing.

I’ll make this one as short as I can, a month or so ago I started questioning my gender, and ever since then I haven’t been able to stop thinking about being a girl.

I was talking to one of my friends to try and figure out if I was trans, and they said “imagine yourself super old and senile, would you want to be a guy or a girl?” And even though the last month has been nothing other than wishing I was a girl, I didn’t really want to be a grandma, I more wanted to be an old guy.

I imagine loving being a girl up until like 40, where I feel like I would start to hate it.

Side note, I also kinda only imagine being “pretty” as a girl and I wouldn’t really want to transition if I knew I wouldn’t be able to pass/be pretty.

Are these indications that I’m not trans? I still really want to be a girl right now and I love when people use she/her and my “new name” but with the things I mentioned before, could this just be a manifestation of something else I need to figure out? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

18(mtf?) sorry for the long post I’m just really torn at the moment. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

A few weeks ago I watched the tadc finale, and I really related to jax (one of the main characters) already before. After it was revealed that she is a trans woman, it just made me realize that being a girl is something I could genuinely do and then literally all I could think about from then to now is being a girl.

I’ve already asked a bunch of questions in here but now I have another concern. I’ve already asked most of my online friends and some of my irl friends to change my pronouns and name, and I’ve been planning on getting a longer haircut and I’ve even been practicing makeup (pictures of that are on my profile if you’d wanna see)

While those things (especially the makeup and new name) made me extremely extremely happy (I could not stop giggling in the mirror with my makeup on) I also just really worry that the only reason these things are making me happy is because I feel like I’m “discovering myself” and because I want attention. And the reason that this is even an issue for me is because I know this is something that I’d do, I feel like I have gotten much better at it as I’ve grown up but I can still feel how I do so many things for attention, whenever I put a label on myself in the past it brought me so much dopamine because I felt like I was figuring myself out. I’m worried I’m trying to get that feeling again when it’s not really there.

At the same time too, whenever I make these posts, the thing that I’m praying for deep down is that other people will just say I’m a girl or probably a girl, that is the answer that I really want. I hate when people respond with (it could go both ways, you’re the only one who can know) and while I feel like this might be an important indicator, I also worry that I’m just hoping other people will somehow help me get this feeling I was talking about before.

Another reason I feel like I might be faking it is that I hadn’t really had dysphoria until AFTER I watched that movie. Ever since then I have been noticing my thick eyebrows and brow ridge and facial hair and it’s been disgusting me because I just want to look like a girl. And it’s also not like I want to crawl out of my skin either, I’m mostly neutral about being a guy I just wish I could be a girl.

I keep thinking over and over “fuck, I want to be a girl so badly” but how can I trust my own judgement? I literally wanted to get on estrogen and was going to make the appointment but I had to stop myself. Or what if I just want to be more feminine and being a girl is overdoing it? I might be way overthinking this but how can I ever know what I am for sure when I don’t even trust myself?

It’s mostly in the title, I just turned 18 two months ago and over the last month my egg cracked and being a girl has been all I can think about. I really want to get on estrogen and maybe just try it out to see how I feel on it, but how can I be sure of myself? I am young and my brain isn’t even fully developed yet. Would it be dumb to do this so suddenly? Normally I’m so worried about how others will think of me but for this it’s kinda secondary which is so weird. Should I wait any longer?

Hey all! I’m flying to California from Michigan this month to meet up with an online friend. Along the way I have a layover in Dallas (DFW) which is 2 hours and 22 minutes. I have friends in Dallas too that would like to see me and know I’m going to be there. They offered to drive to the airport and take me out to eat really quick so we can meet up and then go back to the airport.

I have no idea about flying or airports or anything, I’ve only been on a plane once before last year and my dad helped me with most stuff, whereas during this layover I’ll be in a new airport I don’t know all by myself. I’m just wondering if this is a dumb idea? I’ve already expressed concern to my friend about this but he insisted that there’s nothing to worry about and he’ll make sure I get back in time.

While I would really like to see my friends, do I have enough time? Is this a dumb idea?

Hey all 18(m?) amab. I’ve made a couple posts on here already asking questions about my personal experience with trying to figure out if I’m trans or trying to figure out if I should start hrt, and I’m just really confused about the way I feel.

A few weeks ago, I think my “egg cracked” as it was explained to me, I watched the Tadc finale which made me realize that I really could just become a girl, since then it’s pretty much been the only thing I’m thinking about and it’s getting soo tiring.

So at first, nobody close to me really knew what was happening. I went on here asking questions and when people would call me “girl” or use she/her, it would make me REALLY happy, it was like my heart was skipping beats in a good way. I hadn’t felt like this ever in my life and it made me think I was trans.

Over the next week or so I started talking to my very close trusted online friends and asked them to switch my pronouns to she/her, and even asked one friend in particular to call me by a preferred name, (Noelle) that also made me happy but not as much. When they would use these things it’d make me happy for a second and then I’d remember what I sound like and what I look like and I’d feel like i was, somehow doing something bad to them by even asking to switch my pronouns. I felt like I was faking.

Then I thought about my masculinity and it’s not like I dislike every aspect of it, and some aspects I actually really enjoy? I have a very masculine personality a lot of the time, which I really enjoy and don’t see myself changing, I never really got along with other very masculine guys but when I do kinda have that “bro” connection with other guys that makes me feel really good as well. I also have oc’s/characters that are male and when I thought about switching them to female I just really didn’t want to. And on top of it all when I was asking my friend how I can be sure I’m trans, she said to think about if I’d rather be a REALLY old male, or a REALLY old female, and while I’m not 100% on my answer, I think it was leaning more towards the guy. But at the same time I really liked and still like when I make posts on here with what I look like and people comment that I have such a good base for hrt, like saying I have a very feminine body or soft facial features. Lately I have been noticing masculine features too and I’ve been getting upset by them, I just feel like a big hairball of conflicting emotions.

Now you might have just read through all that and been like “you might be genderfluid” but this is where my emotions get more complicated. I do not want to be genderfluid and whenever I think about that being the answer it makes me sad and upset, and I don’t exactly know why. I keep looking for answers to try and MAKE me being mtf a more realistic reality and it’s really weird. It’s kinda what I’m doing right now, I’m hoping people will respond with some super awesome knowledge or thought experiment that will make me realize without a shadow of a doubt that I am in fact just a girl. I’m actively searching for this answer.

All of this is making some really weird cognitive dissonance in my head, and im just not sure how to feel about any of it, because sometimes I also think about the fact that I might be trans too and I just get so upset at myself. Like I’m ashamed .

Also, before you respond, I feel like a lot of people really really quickly just jump to trying to say I’m a girl or someone’s a girl, idk maybe I’m extremely overthinking it and the reason they’re saying that is because my thoughts and feelings closely align with being a girl. I just feel like people can jump to conclusions really fast, even though that’s kinda what I want to happen? I’m cooked dude.

Then of course I start thinking about how I’d probably lose all my friends and my family would start looking at me all weird like I’m insane and I’d probably have such a harder time getting a job in the future, and I’ve been bullied for nearly all of my childhood, I know what it’s like to have to sit through that and I just don’t know if I can do it again.

It’s just like sometimes I’m like god I want to be a girl so bad, I want to have cute makeup and some baggy clothes and have people think I’m cute and at least if I start hrt and I’m not trans my body will be more feminine, and then other times I’m just like “I’m indifferent to being a guy and sometimes I like it” I don’t know if this is just trauma or internalized transphobia or if this really just isn’t for me. Before you say anything I do have a therapist who I plan on talking to but I just want to get input from people who are trans as well. Any advice is greatly appreciated, thank you.

Hey all, I’m 18m, this is all so new to me, I was wondering if what I’m experiencing is normal?

A few weeks ago I watched the Tadc finale which, if you aren’t aware, it reveals that one of the main characters is really repressed and is actually trans. I started to question myself and I watched I saw the tv glow. Ever since then I have been wanting to be a girl so bad that it genuinely hurts. I can feel a tightness in my chest, it’s hard for me to eat (my appetite is normally very big) and I just keep fantasizing about wearing cute makeup and cute outfits and fitting in with other girls.

My issue is that I never really felt like this before, and all of these feelings basically just appeared this week. I never had that much of an issue with my gender before. I was mostly indifferent to being a guy. I never really fit in with other cis guys and definitely fit in better with women. But still there would be times when I would like dap a guy up or have a good gym session and think “damn that was really masculine and cool” sometimes it had its upsides.

I have experimented with my gender a very tiny amount in the past. Some girls I used to hang out with did my makeup once and told me to go cry in the shower (I was going through some stuff) and it felt good to kinda be “included” in like a stereotypically girly thing? And it felt really nice to have someone do my makeup. I also tried on she/her pronouns before that too, but not for long.

I will also say that I don’t really know if I actually want like a vagina? Like It’s almost like I want everything except that. I want the hair and the face and the body and the community. I don’t know if that has a role to play in this? Just thought I’d include it.

I just don’t know if I’m thinking straight lately? I really want to be referred to with she/her, have long flowy hair, and cute makeup. But also at the same time I’m like, really ashamed about it? Like I made another post on here where someone commented and referred to me as a girl, and that made me feel really happy for a second and then I thought about what I look like now and what I’ve been my whole life.

Anyway I just kinda feel like I’m having a bunch of really fraudulent emotions this past week. I don’t know if I’m like, right about what I’m feeling. I don’t know why I’m suddenly feeling like this and I don’t know what to do. Any input would be really nice.