u/No_Tart_4311

I have a history of mild perioral dermatitis, so I try to go no-makeup as much as possible. But obviously, there are some occasions where I want to use some.

Until recently I was using MAC prolongwear concealer for small coverage as it’s what I’ve used for years. But I’ve come to think that it’s way too heavy and harsh for my skin.

Someone recommended BareMinerals Tinted Moisturiser, but I find it really sticky and dries out my skin even more. Maybe it’s the SPF.

Anyone got any good recs?

Similar to True Detective S1, slow burn, not episodic (different case every ep).. I’d prefer piecing together a big case over the whole season

I always wanted at least 2 kiddies. I was an only child and really want a sibling for my little girl. Husband is onboard too. It’s just… these 6 months have been soo intense. It’s incredible of course, but physically and mentally exhausting.

On one hand, I know I’ll forget the bad and be open to no.2 once things settle… on the other hand I don’t want to forget or be naive to the difficulty, and potentially catapult myself into an untenable situation.

Would love to hear your honest experiences going from one to two (or more) and how you managed? Family help is not an option for us, so we’d need to hire help if needed.

LO is now 6.5mo and on 3 naps. I’m finding that if the first 2 are decent (60-80mins) then everything is rosy.. play is fun, baby is happy and engaged. But if they are 30-40mins, everything falls apart, baby is grumpy and whining or crying all day. I try my best to extend them but sometimes (like today) she just refuses, even though she’s tired.

This seems obvious but just wondering if it affects anyone else’s days this much?

I had one of those days today – travelling all day, heat wave, dehydrated, headache, sleep deprived, house a bomb site with unpacking, hot overtired baby who just will not go down for a nap.

I was so tired and frustrated, trying so hard to get her to sleep but she was crying and fighting me constantly. Eventually her dad stepped in to try, and she went out like a light. I know we all have off days, but I feel so bad that my energy was making things harder for her.

Sometimes at the end of a tough day, it’s so hard to switch everything off and be a calm and patient presence.

I don’t mean full on right wing, but slightly to the right of your own politics. I’m a liberal/ progressive, but always found dating liberal men a little exhausting. They were often too agreeable, too sensitive, too self conscious, too soft for me personally. This is all totally subjective and anecdotal of course.. But dating centre / slightly to the right of centre turned out to be a perfect fit for me, surprisingly. Anyone else?

Apologies for what’s sure to be a dumb question.

Baby is 6mo. Schedule = 2/2.5/2.5/3. From reading around it’s usually always recommended that the last WW before bed be the longest, to build sleep pressure. At the same time it’s also recommended to cap the last nap at 30-40mins for the same reason.

I’m finding it so difficult to follow this. My baby usually always needs a shorter WW after a single sleep cycle, even when previous naps were longer, and so she’s nearly always overtired before bed.

My choice seems to be: stick to the schedule and deal with an overtired baby + unpredictable wake-ups due to cortisol spike. Or, bed early and almost guarantee a 3-4am full wake.

She typically gets 10 hours awake time, 2.5-3 hours day naps.

Would love some help untangling this mess.

6mo
Schedule: 2/2.5/2.5/3
WT: 6am
BT: 7pm

Awake: 10hrs
Naps: 3hrs
Overnight: 10hrs

That missing hour comes at 4am. Nearly every night, at 3-4am, baby wakes up fully and refuses to sleep for an hour. She’s not distressed, just awake.

I’ve tried extending wake windows but she gets super overtired. I’ve tried reducing naps to 2.5hrs to see if that helps her cruise through at 4am, but no.

Also, how do I prevent baby getting overtired before bed? I’m told a 30min catnap is best for the last nap.. but she also has her longest wake time between the catnap and bed, and seems to struggle making it after such a short snooze.

Any tips would be appreciated.

I am having a lot of trouble switching off for sleep. I already take magnesium supplements and have an emergency stronger sleeping pill to use sparingly, but I try to avoid it.

My issue is hyper arousal, since I have a baby that sometimes wakes in the night. My mind is always prepped for waking and listening and it’s hard to switch that off.

I find no luck with tips like “count slowly to 100” or word games, as I think I’m too aware that I’m playing a ‘get to sleep’ game, which makes me panic or stress for some reason. Any meditation tricks work for you? Do you find luck reliving memories? Or purely fantasy/ fiction? Thinking about a tv series or movie?

Curious if there are any common success stories.

Just finished it and the MC really struck me as being quite clearly schizoid or spd adjacent. I’ve seen a lot of assumptions online that he was autistic, which I can understand if you’re less familiar with spd or the nuances between each (there’s a lot of overlap after all).

It got me thinking about the differences between autism and SPD, at least from my view. Meursault is not oblivious or ignorant of the emotions, behaviours and motivations around him, he’s just completely apathetic to them and life itself. It’s not that he’s depressed or stunted, he is living a life as he sees fit for himself, and sees no point or reason to aspire to typical norms or goals. He masks well, and so is surrounded by a small circle of friends and even a girlfriend who think of him no differently, but through his inner monologue we see clearly that he is just saying whatever is expected of him (aside from his honesty with Marie about not really loving her nor seeing the point in marriage).

In the end the real tragedy is that he is somewhat vindicated in his view of life itself as a heartless, apathetic process. It’s not that he doesn’t care in a malicious way, just in a hollow, empty way. An uncaring man in an uncaring world.

ETA: It’s a very short, easy read if you’re curious. Imo it’s an especially interesting read if you are schizoid or adjacent.

I’ve always been a big believer in “having kids doesn’t mean you have to stop doing things.” My husband and I hadn’t had a holiday in nearly a year, so we finally took a week off. Baby is 6mo.

So far, it’s just been a more stressful and sleepless version of home. The travel cot we were provided sucks (lesson: bring your own), and baby is up constantly in the night (slept through at home). There’s no space here for our things, and it’s super inconvenient to change her or play due to the cramped space. Her naps have fallen apart due to travel so she’s way harder to manage in the day. She’s also not enjoying the heat so we have to stay in our room most of the day or take turns.

We’re both so sleep deprived and exhausted now. I really hate to say it but I honestly wish we just took time off and stayed home.

Edit: Appreciate the sympathetic responses. I think a mistake I made was prepping myself for a “parenting in a different location” vibe. I knew it wouldn’t be easier and was comfortable with that – we’re now pretty confident and happy with our baby routine. What I didn’t expect was that it would be much, much harder. Her sleep is worse, her naps are worse, her mood is worse, everything is harder and less convenient. Feels like taking a break to go to bootcamp.

LO is 5.5 mo. Currently on a 1.5/2/2/2.25 schedule give or take, 3-3.5 hours total day sleep. Sleeps in her own cot in her own room. Is put down drowsy and shushed to sleep with pacifier in. Officially up at 6am and down at 7pm.

Only recently moved to 3 naps as she started refusing the 4th, and she is consistently very tired and grumpy by the end of wake windows. Tried defaulting back to 4 but it made things worse.

She can’t actually link cycles during the day, so to make a 3 nap schedule work I need to extend her nap 1 and 2 with a contact nap.

Used to be a great sleeper and napper, but is now a mess. Acts increasingly panicked and upset going into naps and bedtime, takes a long time to settle. Started waking in the night, wakes fully at 4am and only goes back to sleep with a contact nap (tried everything to avoid).

LO is 5.5 mo. Currently on a 1.5/2/2/2.25 schedule give or take, 3.5 hours total day sleep. Sleeps in her own cot in her own room. Is put down drowsy and shushed to sleep with pacifier in. Officially up at 6am and down at 7pm.

I have tried to move to 3 naps but it resulted in a very overtired unhappy baby before nap 3 and bedtime so I switched back to a short 4th catnap for now.

Her nights have been terrible recently. Hates going to bed, even though our routine is the same, wakes more often and now (eg 1am, 2.30, 3) the. wakes fully wired and wanting up at 4am.

This is frustrating because we always need to go soothe her back to sleep, since she can’t put her pacifier back in and just gets increasingly upset.

Should we try Ferber? Do you ditch the pacifier first? She sucks her hands but it doesn’t seem to soothe her, or at least not like the pacifier does.

LO is 5.5 mo. Currently on a 1.5/2/2/2.25 schedule give or take, 3.5 hours total day sleep. Sleeps in her own cot in her own room. Is put down drowsy and shushed to sleep with pacifier in. Officially up at 6am and down at 7pm.

I have tried to move to 3 naps but it resulted in a very overtired unhappy baby before nap 3 and bedtime so I switched back to a short 4th catnap for now.

Her nights have been terrible recently. Hates going to bed, even though our routine is the same, wakes more often and now (eg 1am, 2.30, 3) the. wakes fully wired and wanting up at 4am.

This is frustrating because we always need to go soothe her back to sleep, since she can’t put her pacifier back in and just gets increasingly upset.

Should we try Ferber? Do you ditch the pacifier first? She sucks her hands but it doesn’t seem to soothe her, or at least not like the pacifier does.

To be clear before I vent, I don’t regret having a baby. I love my little girl more than anything and wouldn’t change things for the world. We’re just going through a really tough phase at 5.5mo of her constantly waking at night, fighting naps and being grumpy all day, and it sucks. At times like this I really pine for my old life and just want to vent a little, because it’s a thought I’d prefer to keep private.

I miss good, restorative sleep. I miss waking up on my own terms and feeling energised. I miss not being absolutely exhausted by 4pm. I miss feeing motivated and productive. I miss being able to read or watch a movie and chill whenever I want. I miss socialising and ad hoc dinner / drinks plans. I miss conversations not revolving around babies. I miss spending actual quality time with my husband, just us. I miss experimenting in the kitchen and spending time cooking a proper meal. I miss looking forward to a holiday being a time to really rest and reset, and not just a teleportation of the same sleep struggles and 24/7 care duties. I miss running my own business. I miss having enough time and energy for my hobbies. I miss spending leisure time freely, and not on the clock. I miss peace and quiet. I miss having a day to myself, for myself.

Again, I know this is temporary and it will pass. It just feels good to get it out. It sucks that on our hardest days, our brains default to negative thoughts. It takes real effort sometimes to power through and think positive on no sleep with a screaming baby.

I adore caring for my daughter (5mo), but am starting to feel really exhausted. Especially by end of day, end of week.

I have her solo from around 6.30am to 5.30pm every week day. My days are usually fine to begin, but by 3pm-ish I am wiped. Baby is going through a phase of needing constant undivided attention and entertainment, and getting fed up with everything after only 2-3mins. I am reeling through toys, reading, dancing, singing, playing floor games, picking her up and walking around, changing scene etc etc non stop. By the end of the day I think she is getting fed up of me 😂

Unfortunately she can’t link day sleep cycles yet so I only get max 30min break at nap time, then have to contact nap to extend them. Husband thankfully does the 2-3 night wake ups, but I still get max 6hrs if I’m lucky.

Maybe burnout is common at this stage, I’m not sure. I’m just curious, because the 4month period was actually a breeze for me compared to now.

Lord I am tired. Since she was 4mo, she has always started to stir around 4am, then just keep waking up until her ‘official’ wake time at 6am. She just turned 5mo and now she starts the wake routine around 3am. Last night it was 2am (though I really hope that’s a once off).

The routine: She is currently switching between 3-4 naps a day depending on their length (2-3hr wake windows but I just go by cues). Bed time is always 7pm (I have experimented with earlier or later but it makes no difference). She gets 5 feeds a day at set times, and I recently started giving her a little more for the last feed to see if that helped. It doesn’t.

The wakes: When she wakes, she isn’t hungry, just awake and wanting comfort or interaction. She will cry out, or babble or blow raspberries or just whine. We have tried leaving her but she always escalates, never drifts off on her own again.

I wonder if weaning off the pacifier would help? I read that a pacifier is still a good soothing tool at this age, but her need for it at night is frustrating. I can also try moving from bassinet to cot.

Any tips or advice? The only sleep training I’ve succeeded at was getting her to fall asleep drowsy in the bassinet for naps and bed time (but with pacifier).

This was my first ever mother’s day. My daughter is 5mo and it’s been a really hard adjustment and learning period. The stress and sleep deprivation have been really hard, and the c section healing was tough too. I’m constantly exhausted and sore, but it’s also been so rewarding. I love my little girl so much.

I was looking forward to my first mothers day. My husband can’t help as much as he’d like to, but does try. He knows these past months have been really hard for me, especially since we live in his country far away from my family and friends.

On saturday he had a doctors checkup, then went by the supermarket, got $10 roses and a bag of chocolates, then handed them to me when he got home and said “Happy mother’s day for tomorrow.” I feel really bad and guilty, but I just can’t help feeling disappointed. He hadn’t even taken the price tag off the flowers. The supermarket had lovely mothers day bouquets for not that much (though money isn’t an issue). Honestly it was more just the lack of thought… A little card would have meant so much, something to keep, or just a photo of me and our baby even (he has a photo printer in his office room).

The next day, on actual mother’s day, felt like just another day. I even had to cook dinner for us and his mother, who popped by last minute.

I think it felt extra sad because I always think of meaningful gifts for him.

I decided to just get over it and not make a fuss. Then today I woke up after finally having a good sleep, feeling happy, and the first thing my husband does is criticize me for looking at my phone in front of the baby (I was trying to order her sleep sacks). And I blew up, angry at him for nagging me before the sun is even up… but I think it was really unresolved disappointment from mother’s day.

I just don’t know how to talk to him without sounding ungrateful. I would just appreciate a little more thought.

Oh jeez sorry for the rant 😓

This was my first ever mother’s day – daughter was born end of last year. It was a hard road of fertility issues and a tough pregnancy, ending in an unplanned c section. I found it really difficult balancing recovery and caring for a baby, as we live in his home country far away from my support network, and my MIL is very hands off. But we made it work. He also works a lot, so I’ve been entirely absorbed in baby care for the past 5 months straight. It’s been exhausting, but obviously rewarding too.

Maybe I’m ungrateful, maybe it’s hormones, maybe it’s a combination, but yesterday my husband came back from the shop and gave me a $10 bunch of 5 half dead roses, price still on, and said “Happy mother’s day for tomorrow.” And I just felt so disappointed.

I had to go back to the shop later that day, because he didn’t do any food shopping, and felt so sad looking at the big mothers day display with colourful bouquets, mini hampers, cute cards etc. I couldn’t help feeling like I just wasn’t worth something a little extra. (Bear in mind he makes plenty of money, though these things weren’t expensive anyway.)

Am I overreacting?