u/Normal_Ad4752

We’re trying to decide where to settle down. For context, I grew up in NJ, my family all now lives in NYC. I lived in NYC for 8 years before moving to the Bay Area.

My husband and I live in Palo Alto now and we had our first baby recently. We are hoping to have 3-4 kids. Thinking about long term where we can settle down and would love input.

Option 1: move back to NYC. I love this option, I loved living in New York and I found it amazing for both of our careers. It’s a magical place. However, I lived there in my 20s, never with a baby and I’m not sure how life is like there with a child. We want to have several children so I’m worried NYC will be just a short stint if we feel like we need more space eventually. I don’t feel like that now but I might. I also love the community and closeness to family which is important.

Option 2: NJ suburbs close to NYC. I enjoyed growing up in NJ, but my parents both worked super close to home. There aren’t a ton of jobs in NJ so my husband and I would have to commute into the city several times a week which feels a bit overwhelming + with children. I’m also worried about building community and feeling super isolated. But I love 4 seasons and the culture of NJ and I’m sure I’ll eventually appreciate the space?

Option 3: Palo Alto. We’ve lived here the last 3 years. It’s beautiful, but it feels a little isolating. The pros are that it’s close to a lot of jobs in the peninsula and easy to get to SF. Great weather and nice downtown. Education is good. Houses are small and super expensive and I don’t love the culture or community.

What would you do?

My 5-month-old has suddenly started fighting every nap, and I’m at a loss.

She used to nap pretty easily. She preferred contact naps but would sometimes nap in her bassinet without much trouble.

Around 4-5 months, everything changed. Now she cries for 45 minutes before almost every nap, even with all the help (dark room, white noise, bouncing, etc.). I watch her wake windows carefully and she’s never up longer than 1.5h. Usually around 45 min awake we wind down and I never let naps more than 2h. But nothing helps!

If I transfer her to the bassinet, she wakes up almost immediately and starts crying, so I’ve been doing contact naps most of the day.

Has anyone else gone through this around 5 months? did anything help your baby nap more easily? Should I be using a specific schedule?

I was never someone who was intensely career-driven—more moderately ambitious. I have a solid education, including an MBA, and I’ve had some interesting jobs in tech, mostly at startups, which were exciting but often high-risk and far from stable.

For a long time, I imagined building a career I enjoyed well enough, knowing that most people don’t absolutely love their jobs anyway.

My bigger dream was always to get married, have children, take some time away from work while they were young, and eventually return in a part-time role or in a career that offered more balance.

Actually, becoming a doctor was my childhood dream. But after speaking with several female physicians I decided not to pursue it. Since having a family was always my highest priority, I chose what I thought would be a more predictable 9-to-5 path in tech instead.

I’m now five months postpartum with my first baby, and instead of wanting to stay home for an extended period or step away from my career, I feel more driven than ever to succeed.

I want my daughter to grow up seeing a mom who pursued her goals, challenged herself, and showed that it’s possible to have both a meaningful career and a fulfilling family life.

Becoming a mom has made me wonder if I gave up on my original dream of med school too soon.

Did becoming a mom make anyone else more career-oriented? I always assumed I’d feel the opposite.

Did anyone here do a post-bacc in your 30s?

I have a baby now and hope to have more children in the future, but becoming a physician has been a dream of mine for a long time. I didn’t pursue it earlier for all the wrong reasons, and I’m seriously thinking about revisiting that path.

I’d love to hear from anyone who did a post-bacc later in life, especially if you were balancing parenthood or family planning.

Which program did you choose and why?

How did you balance coursework with young children?

Looking back, would you do it again?

Any advice or words of encouragement would mean a lot. Thank you!

I came across a recent study suggesting that infants who receive MMR before about 8.5 months may have lower measles antibody levels years later, even after receiving their routine MMR doses.

For parents who considered an early MMR for travel, did this affect your decision? If not, how did your pediatrician interpret the findings?

Study: https://academic.oup.com/cid/article/80/4/904/7874423

Is it crazy to leave my baby for 6 days at 5.5 months old?

My husband and I were invited to a wedding in Europe and we’d be gone for about 6 days total including travel. Our baby would stay with my parents, who are extremely trustworthy/helpful and already spend a lot of time with her. They would just live at our house while we’re away.

Part of me feels like this could actually be nice for us as a couple and realistically she probably won’t remember it at all at that age. But another part of me feels guilty and anxious about leaving her that long while she’s still so little. I’m worried she’ll miss us.

For context:
She’ll be 5.5 months old
She takes a bottle fine & ff

Did anyone do something similar? Regret it? Love it? Would you go?

Which name do you like better for first name Lily or Evangelina? I know they are different vibes, but whatever we don’t use for first we will use for middle.

My baby is almost 17 weeks old and is incredibly fussy/high-needs, and I’m trying to understand what’s within the range of normal vs. something others have experienced too.

A few things we’re struggling with:

• Hysterical crying during diaper changes — not just fussing, but full-on screaming until she turns purple. We’ve tried everything: keeping the room warm, warming the changing pad, lowering her slowly, avoiding cold wipes, etc.
• Significant reflux/feeding discomfort — we’re already working with pediatric GIs and she’s on omeprazole, but feeds often still involve intense crying and distress.
• Zero tolerance for bath time — she wails through the entire bath even though we keep the water warm, make it quick/gentle, and stay close to comfort her the whole time.
• Extremely sensitive to loud noises or overstimulation — sudden sounds can completely set her off and she startles/freaks out very easily.
• Needs contact naps to fall asleep and stay asleep, including at night — she has a very hard time settling independently and seems to need constant physical closeness/regulation to calm her body enough to sleep

She honestly just seems uncomfortable and overwhelmed by the world a lot of the time. I know some babies are naturally more sensitive/high-needs, but sometimes it feels like we can barely get through basic daily activities without tears.

Has anyone else had a baby like this? Especially babies with reflux or sensory sensitivity? What helped? Did things improve? Would love to hear similar experiences because it can feel very isolating.

Did Omeprazole take longer than 10 days to work for your baby? Or did it just not work at all?

Our daughter is 15 weeks old and has been struggling with feeding discomfort since around 4 weeks. She arches, cries mid-feed, seems uncomfortable as her stomach fills, and sometimes refuses the bottle unless sleepy. No major spit up.

We tried:
- Alimentum
- Neocate
- Pepcid (helped briefly for about a week)
- Omeprazole (now on day 10 with basically no meaningful improvement)

If anything, she seems fussier and less interested in eating since starting it.

Did anyone have a baby where:
- omeprazole took longer than 10 days to help?
- PPIs actually made things worse?
- reflux ended up NOT being the issue?

Did Omeprazole take longer than 10 days to work for your baby? Or did it just not work at all?

Our daughter is 15 weeks old and has been struggling with feeding discomfort since around 4 weeks. She arches, cries mid-feed, seems uncomfortable as her stomach fills, and sometimes refuses the bottle unless sleepy. No major spit up.

We tried:
- Alimentum
- Neocate
- Pepcid (helped briefly for about a week)
- Omeprazole (now on day 10 with basically no meaningful improvement)

If anything, she seems fussier and less interested in eating since starting it.

Did anyone have a baby where:
- omeprazole took longer than 10 days to help?
- PPIs actually made things worse?
- reflux ended up NOT being the issue?

Our 3.5 month old has been struggling with feeding and I’m wondering if anyone has dealt with something similar.

We first started noticing this around 4 weeks old. Initially, she would feed completely normally for about ~60 mL or half the bottle, and then suddenly become extremely uncomfortable mid-feed — crying hysterically, arching her back, and acting like her stomach hurt. Because of the timing and presentation, reflux was suspected, even though she rarely spits up. She's formula fed.

Over the past several months, we’ve tried multiple interventions without much improvement. We switched to Alimentum and also trialed Neocate, but neither made a noticeable difference. She didn't improve with thickened feeds. Pepcid seemed to help briefly for about a week before the symptoms returned. She’s now been on omeprazole for about 10 days, but so far we’ve only seen minimal improvement.

We’ve seen feeding therapists who said it doesn’t seem behavioral/oral aversion related and raised the possibility of something anatomical or GI-related because the discomfort seems very “volume based” — almost like once her stomach fills to a certain point, she’s uncomfortable. They mentioned things like reflux, gas pain, constipation, malrotation, narrowing/partial obstruction, etc., and recommended further GI evaluation and imaging.

A few other details:

• She generally takes the bottle initially
• Discomfort seems worse once there’s volume in her stomach: that's when hysterical crying begins
• Burping sometimes temporarily helps
• No improvement on hypoallergenic formula or thickened feeds
• No dramatic vomiting/bilious vomiting
• She is still gaining weight, but very slowly — dropped from 22nd % to the 4th %.
• At this point, my husband and I are feeding her every 2 hours around the clock just to keep her daily intake in a reasonable range (which has been emotionally and physically exhausting).

Has anyone had a baby where the issue turned out to be something other than “just reflux”? Did anyone have symptoms like hysterical pain/discomfort once the stomach filled? Would especially love to hear from anyone whose baby ended up having an anatomical GI issue, delayed gastric emptying, severe reflux, etc.

We’re obviously working closely with her medical team (Pediatrician, Pediatric GI, OTs), but I’m feeling worried and trying to understand what experiences others have had.

Our 3.5 month old has been struggling with feeding and I’m wondering if anyone has dealt with something similar.

We first started noticing this around 4 weeks old. Initially, she would feed completely normally for about ~60 mL or half the bottle, and then suddenly become extremely uncomfortable mid-feed — crying hysterically, arching her back, and acting like her stomach hurt. Because of the timing and presentation, reflux was suspected, even though she rarely spits up. She's formula fed.

Over the past several months, we’ve tried multiple interventions without much improvement. We switched to Alimentum and also trialed Neocate, but neither made a noticeable difference. She didn't improve with thickened feeds. Pepcid seemed to help briefly for about a week before the symptoms returned. She’s now been on omeprazole for about 10 days, but so far we’ve only seen minimal improvement.

We’ve seen feeding therapists who said it doesn’t seem behavioral/oral aversion related and raised the possibility of something anatomical or GI-related because the pain seems very “volume based” — almost like once her stomach fills to a certain point, she’s uncomfortable. They mentioned things like reflux, gas pain, constipation, malrotation, narrowing/partial obstruction, etc., and recommended further GI evaluation and imaging.

A few other details:

• She generally takes the bottle initially
• Discomfort seems worse once there’s volume in her stomach: that's when hysterical crying begins
• Burping sometimes temporarily helps
• No improvement on hypoallergenic formula or thickened feeds
• No dramatic vomiting/bilious vomiting
• She is still gaining weight, but very slowly — dropped from 22nd % to the 4th %.
• At this point, my husband and I are feeding her every 2 hours around the clock just to keep her daily intake in a reasonable range (which has been emotionally and physically exhausting).

Has anyone had a baby where the issue turned out to be something other than “just reflux”? Did anyone have symptoms like hysterical pain/discomfort once the stomach filled? Would especially love to hear from anyone whose baby ended up having an anatomical GI issue, delayed gastric emptying, EoE, etc.

We’re obviously working closely with her medical team (Pediatrician, Pediatric GI, OTs), but I’m feeling worried and trying to understand what experiences others have had.

I’m 32F and we recently welcomed our first baby about 4 months ago. We’re looking to have a big family (ideally 4 kids) and I’m getting a little worried about my age. I’m worried about fertility, but more worried about any risks to the baby as I get older. We are thinking about spacing together as soon as possible.

I know plenty of women have healthy pregnancies in their mid/late 30s and beyond, but it’s hard not to spiral a little reading about declining fertility, chromosomal abnormalities, pregnancy complications, etc.

I’d love to hear from people who started having kids in their 30s and either had larger families or had babies spaced relatively close together. I’m also looking into embryo freezing.

My 13 week old has severe silent reflux. We were on Pepcid which didn’t help, and now just started omeprazole. How long did it take to work for you? It’s only day 2, but it feels worse than before! Also - how did you guys wean of Pepcid when you overlapped medicine? Our dr said continue to do 3 days Pepcid.

We are looking to fly with our 4 month old cross country (SF to NYC) in June. I’m worried about germs. She’s fully vaccinated of course, but worried about MMR (since they can’t get that until 12 m), and other colds and flus. Any advice? Thanks all.