u/Novel-Ad-4284

I’ve been trying to be more productive with my health during my mid-year university break (gym 3/4 times a week, walk my dog 40mins 4 times a week, reading ever day, making nutritious food at home instead of working out, 9k average daily steps) but I feel like I’m crumbling for my own expectations. Even though each goal is objectively a good one which should be beneficial to me in the long run and on the day to day.

On gym recovery days (which I objectively know I need! And are a requirement!) I have such guilt for not going, it’s really debilitating. If work happens to get in the way of any of these goals, I feel like a failure, even though I couldn’t help it, I feel like I always should have done more. I feel like I’m not seeing friends enough because I’m so stressed, even though these goals and rules are entirely self inflicted and imagined… like nothing bad will happen if I don’t get it done one week or another

any advice for remaining productive and consistent but also allowing yourself rest? I’m really struggling to find a middle ground

I’ve been trying to be more productive with my health during my mid-year university break (gym 3/4 times a week, walk my dog 40mins 4 times a week, reading ever day, making nutritious food at home instead of working out, 9k average daily steps) but I feel like I’m crumbling for my own expectations. Even though each goal is objectively a good one which should be beneficial to me in the long run and on the day to day.

On gym recovery days (which I objectively know I need! And are a requirement!) I have such guilt for not going, it’s really debilitating. If work happens to get in the way of any of these goals, I feel like a failure, even though I couldn’t help it, I feel like I always should have done more. I feel like I’m not seeing friends enough because I’m so stressed, even though these goals and rules are entirely self inflicted and imagined… like nothing bad will happen if I don’t get it done one week or another

any advice for remaining productive and consistent but also allowing yourself rest? I’m really struggling to find a middle ground

As a beginner in the gym (F21), I feel really bad/guilty on the days I don’t exercise/gym or hit my step count (usually due to work commitments). Even though my body is tired and I genuinely don’t have the time, I feel terrible about it. Logically I know you can’t go to the gym everyday, but it makes me feel uncommitted or lazy. Does anyone else experience this? How do you combat it?

My mother is obsessed with telling me her step count for the day, and her workouts, and how’s she’s ‘earned’ a snack or piece of cake (etc.) because of that. Or she will even ask me if she should be ‘allowed’ to have something sweet. I’m not open with my family about my food struggles, but omfg hearing her go out of her way to say these things to me hurts so much. My older sister is often the same, but I think she’s just copying my mum more than anything. I’ve tried to subtly redirect their wording or questions, but it never works. Even the few times I’ve vaguely said that it makes me feel bad, I’ve been entirely shut down. It just makes me feel like shit.

Any advice for families constantly triggering you? Or dealing with people’s food comments in general? (Context: F20 female, lives at home with parents)

I feel like no matter what I do at the gym, or if I work out at home, or get 7k steps or 12k, I never feel like I’ve done enough. I know as a beginner I’m not going to ‘see’ evidence of my working out for months, but I’m struggling to feel/know that I’m pushing myself enough. I know this is likely an issue with my own self confidence more than anything, but any advice for how to feel confident/worthy at the gym? I want to *feel* like I’m committed enough, and not just guilty for not working even harder.

Further Context Edit: I’ve been going for about 6 weeks so far: originally just walking on an incline and stair-master, I’ve started light/simple weights as of last week!

I (F20) am starting the gym for the first time trying to tone up and lose a bit of fat to develop some body love. I’m short (5’1) and wondering if anyone has some advice for ab toning, weight loss or muscle toning for short women or just in general!! I really want to build a body I can be proud of for once instead of being so uncomfortable in myself. any advice is much appreciated <3

context: still live with my family so only so much control over dinners and such, and can only go to the gym about 3/4 times a week max (aiming to get 7k steps a day though!!), I find the gym quite intimidating but I’m trying to push myself

I’ve been trying to recover for a while, and I do think I’m getting better (?) Ive had a social event (and sometimes multiple!) almost every day this week which centred around food, and while my more disordered self would have canceled, I went to every single one. And ate at every single one. And actually enjoyed myself. I’d always be thinking to myself “I’m doing so much better, I’m enjoying this”, but as soon as I get home a wave of complete guilt and horrified-ness washes over me, I spent hours looking at my body in the mirror, thinking about the whole event in detail and what I ‘need to do’ as a result to fix that. I don’t carry through with those disordered thoughts anymore, but the guilt is constantly debilitating for hours. Genuinely any sense of joy leaves me. I hate it. But I won’t let myself fall back into compensation habits.

My eating is so so much better, honestly probably swaying towards the opposite direction right now, so why won’t my mentality and brain move with it? Am I just going to hate my body and brain forever?

I’ve been getting better at eating out, pushing myself out of usual routines little by little, but somehow this week has appeared with food-centric group plans every day (celebrating things, catching up with people who have been away, game days, etc.) I feel guilty for food I haven’t even had yet. I’m especially anxious about not knowing what food is going to be at most of the events (but being parties my ED brain is not optimistic about the options, a ‘moral food’ mentality I’m trying to combat)… I want to push against my comfort zones and old ED rules, truly, but this upcoming week feels like too much at once. I want to cancel everything, but I know I can’t let myself.

I deserve to be with my friends and family at these events, but I’m so tired and anxious and they haven’t even happened yet. it’s hard to create safe spaces at these events when I haven’t told any of these people about my food issues.

Any advice for dealing with fear foods in public, post-event guilt or pre-plan anxiety with foods?

how tf do people deal with the guilt of not exercising in recovery?

I’m trying to be aware of when I physically can’t go work out, or when I only want to because I feel bad for whatever I’ve eaten, but not going is literally dragging down my mental state so much. I feel like it just fuels the self-critique/hatred of my improved eating amount and body in recovery even more. The guilt is debilitating, but going for bad reasons will just fuel my ED thoughts and behaviours… I want better for myself but I don’t know how. every decision is so tiring and time consuming!! Eating vs not eating enough, exercising vs not exercising, I feel awful/guilty either way.

I’m desperate to hear from anyone who has dealt with this and how they convinced their brain rest is ok.