u/Obvious_Ostrich5818

I've been on anti-depressants for 3 years, Originally Effexor/venlafaxine and now Lexapro/Ecitalopram.

I feel like i'm not my 'true self', once the day comes to an end I reflect and think who was that person? That's not me? Why am i not more urgent to fix my situation and overwhelmed ?

I don't feel emotions strongly, or really at all. Its like i'm putting on a mask, the mask being the serotonin, I can feel it controlling my thoughts and emotions and words and actions.

I find myself thinking old thought patterns and seeing my reaction. Its... nothing.

I still get sad, i still get happy and still get cripplingly anxious but i feel like its all a show and that somethings controlling me and making me act different ( medication ). When it gets to the end of the day I end up contemplating my day, previous months and seeing its all merging together into one big haze. I barely recognize myself, It feels like January.

My life doesn't feel authentic, it feels like someone is controlling me and i'm just giving in and unable to change it.

I'll think of free will, what I could do to prove i'm in control and have full autonomy. How I could just hop on train and not tell anyone and just go somewhere, or run in the streets because I AM , but conformity be hitting so hard were all unconsciously trapped by our own chains. Most animals do what we want, we have to battle multiple neurological deep rooted processes that say NONONONONONONO.

I feel like my anti-Depressent, is a conformity drug for me. It makes me normal, but normal as in flat, dull, existing and performing but not LIVINGGGG.

I’m 20F , handed in my fit test and calprotectin test to my GP on Monday morning. It was sent at 1pm. Just wondering about wait times and when I should hear back ?

The FCP sample was ticked as urgent wich did worry me a bit so hoping I hear back tomorrow (Thursday)

It’s just worrying bc the tests determine my next steps so hopefully I hear back soon.

( United Kingdom Wait times / NHS )

I have been having severe period problems and GI issues which are all the time but worsen around my period as well as pelvic pain.

Back in October I was struggling to go to work due to my severity of symptoms on my period, so I went on the contraceptive patch EVRA. Welp that was the start of declining mental health, panic disorder and a LOT MORE stomach problems. Don't get me wrong the period symptoms weren't as bad but I felt like i would have random flare ups of symptoms and need a day to rest in bed with chills, nausea vomiting bowel problems, urine urgency then POOF gone until it came back.

Anyways rolling on 6 months I was having a 2 week long period... even on the patch it wasn't stopping it. So i ended up going for an ultrasound coming of it and moving to a combined pill to control my unknown bleeding...... WORST DECISION OF MY LIFEEE

The evil little thing gave me back depression, intrusive thoughts, severe anxiety, and the worst part is severe I mean severe worsening gut problems. Diarrheoa, abdominal pain before and after bowel movements, cramping, my chronic acid reflux was flaring up. I say was it still is. It was like my body would just repeatedly spasm till I was empty. So i stopped that of course.

But I think it triggered endometriosis which I had suspected was there, but now I am in a cycle of diarrhea and constipation, one food day and 3 bad days, dizziness lightheadedness, nausea, reflux, headaches, behind the eye headaches you name it !!

3 weeks of this people ... THREE WEEKS. Referred for an ultrasound and sonographer refused to do an internal ultrasound because it was 'already clear' even when the previous sonographer said my symptoms look like rectal endometriosis so I needed an internal one. I have requested imagery AND THE FULL REPORT... did you know GPs and us only get sent the summary unless we ask and the full report could have important info on there.

So bc of this, I got a summary of a negative ultrasound and continuing severity of symptoms leaving me near house bound for 3 weeks scared of what symptom will be in the next hour. Need to self advocate for GP appointment tomorrow after being told its 'just IBS ' and given antispamodics.

Anyways anyone with a similar experience ? could do with some help navigating chronic illness diagnosis. Its tough out here

Ive been getting debilitating upper abdominal pain when I leave the house and go on walks to the point it triggers panic attacks out of fear it will cause false bowel urgency ( it occasionaly has been real). This pain stops me doing day to day activities but is labelled as just anxiety or just ibs. Has anyone has a similar experience ? bladder urgency bowel urgency false sensations and no amount of exposure helps infact i get repeatedly retraumatised from severe pain or a bad panic attack therefore over the course of a year ive just gone backwards. Its taken away my life as well as the anxiety. I have tried propranolol venlafaxine lexapro citalopram quetiapine peppermint capsules, omeprazole yet the stomach problems persist ..... I also have stomach issues inside as well going TMI but for like sometimes 1 sometimes 6 bowel movements a day ( loose stools not diarrhea) with heat and lightheadedness and diziness. Im starting to loose hope. I suspected endometriosis in the bowel due to accompanied period problems but thats not there. The not knowing if a flare up will occur outside or how much pain im in is so hard. Its like im intolerant to the tiniest amount of stress. My body feels everything first. I had severe acid reflux vomiting for a year due to 'anxiety' !!! headaches, feeling genuinelly so unwell. Possible autoimmune issue ? Bowel endometriosis? Has anyone experienced anything like this or had help im loosing hope !! - Age 20 Female , nothing came back in ultrasound/blood tests (didnt have internal ultrasound) History of panic disorder, ASD,ADHD. Current medication : Lexapro, elvanse, propranolol, Birth control

Started Norimin by pfizer today the combined pill for period symptom control. 0.035mg Ethinyl estradiol and 1mg norethisterone. Safe to say i'm TERRIFIED because i cant find anyone talking about their experience on it so if I could please get some reassurance or side effect info that would be fab

What as your experience ?

I know the tips, i'm doing therapy i do all the techniques but i find i go through massive recovery bursts for months going to cities and travelling , and then a few months later i can be back to completely stuck to my house and a few streets. Everywhere else triggers panic and fear.

Even not going out for 2 days, game over.

I feel the main issue is the panic symptoms of toilet urgency. It makes you feel like your in danger of extreme embarrasement and loosing control of your body. And the worst part is when youve had a couple near misses you are PETRIFIED because it shows your body there is something to fear.

I've started actually checking my physical body because the stomach problems seem to be very real and potentially an actual issue. But it makes me loose hope and feel like everything in life would be 10x better if i didnt have to use all of my energy just to leave the house ?

Just wondering if anyone has had the same experience and recovered ?

DISCLAIMER : MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE IM NOT A DOCTOR OR THERAPIST OR SCIENTIST. JUST WHAT HELPED ME

Understanding why you are experiencing the fear, panic attacks , agoraphobia :

What is helping me on my panic disorder journey, is learning how our brain is what changes our perception of reality. Our thoughts, feelings and emotions create our perception. This is why two people could be in the exact same place, but with completely different experiences. Our memories of previous events is what our brain uses as almost a roadmap to how to react to the next one. This is why when we have panic attacks in certain places or with certain people, the exact same experience of fear and panic is repeated in the same circumstances, until we repeat the experience multiple times without panic and teach our brains its a safe environment.

Our Amygdala is our main problem because most of the time in our cases its overactive. Its what scans for danger and sends threat signals that release adrenaline ect. We feel fear , we feel sensations, we feel panic but nothings there. So we have intrusive thoughts, imagery of something bad that could happen. None of that is inherently true though. Its your brain trying to make sense of the panic by making false ideas pop in your head.

What is fear though ? I believe personally, in the ancient times they didn't experience fear. Think about the Egyptians. They were living in the present moment and the silence so much that they accessed higher knowledge , they built pyramids that even with all our technology we still don't know how. There were ancient mystics who discovered the laws of the universe its really fascinating. But as the years went on, we almost needed fear for survival. We needed to use fear to get resources to survive winters. Then we built entire civilizations based on the fear that we need to survive.

Fear has gone from a survival tool, to a habit , to a culture. However, we no longer need fear, yet its engraved in everything we do. from anxiety about tests, job interviews, and for those with severe panic disorder/agoraphobia like me, we fear even going outside.

Mystics say the world you perceive, is based on your minds illusions. So if ours is fear, panic, overthinking, it shapes how we experience the world. Over time we have unconsciously built an entire perception of the world through fear. Probably for most of us due to past traumas.

To help begin recovery : ( my personal experience , not medical advise talk to a therapist about recovery)

To recover we need to retrain our system through repeated lived experience. We know this , but we obviously have reluctance to do it. I do to. We experience avoidance. But there are ways of making recovery easier !!

We start exposure in small steps, never having anxiety in the red panic attack explosion zone just the calm this is doable zone. When you feel panic, this is just your body trying to keep you safe. Don't fixate, analyze your symptoms or escape the situation. Just sit with it for a tiny bit. This teaches your brain you experienced a panic and nothing bad happened.

Recovery isn't zero panic, its accepting it may happen, but you will be safe if it does, and doing this until you have near to zero panic.

Sensations are scary, i know. The stomach cramps, the shortness of breath, shakiness, heart palpitations, sweating. And a lot of us develop fear around the sensations. I find gently allowing sensations in small doses of exposure like stomach pain helps. Like okay your here but i'm safe. I can now go out to certain places with stomach pain, instead of not leaving until its gone, because I went to those places in mild pain, multiple times until it was no longer there, and when it is I know nothing bad will happen.

Somatic exercises help for some people or body scanning meditations. ( depends on the person and seek medical advice if unsure) It's about learning to stop over analysing every small sensation that comes into our body and let them gently exist within you.

I find ... hear me out, through setting even ten minutes a day to meditate, and watching thoughts come in , concentrating back to breathing every time a thought pops in and not following it, it teaches your brain to not hold meaning to thoughts and you become the observer of thought. It helps because when you get the dangerous scenarios or intrusive thoughts pop in your head you no longer attach to them you just laugh. See your not your thoughts, your the space in which they come and they go.

I also recommend keeping a diary of all the positive exposures you've done to keep track of progress. NEVER MISS MORE THAN ONE DAY GOING OUTSIDE. It will set back your progress. Even if its small, leave the house.

Fear can exist within you, and not cause danger. Remember adrenaline is to keep you safe not hurt you. Nothing about adrenaline and panic attacks can physically harm you. You need to accept panic may come, but teach your body even if it does, you will be okay. This is done through repeated experience, detachment from though, and mind and body working together.

Start small , things that would only cause small sensations and minimal anxiety and work your way up the ladder of harder situations. You never want to be in the red panic attack freak out zone.

YOULL NEVER FIND THE PERFECT TIME TO START EXPOSURE. START TODAY.

Im in my 20s and diagnosed autism and adhd. It feels like everyone around me is doing well for themselves , they make it look so easy ? I struggle going outside because of the sensory overwhelm and adjusting to different environments. I am borderline agorophobic at this point getting treated for panic disorder , but my adhd isn't allowing me to stay on track with exposure. At the same time everyone around me is telling me to get a job. Im applying to loads , yet the couple i've landed have not been suited to me at ALL.

I landed a job as a support worker but I was struggling with communication considering I was 20 helping people older than me. I only lasted a day. Then warehouses are too noisy incredibly overstimulating and I cant even walk into a shop for more than 10 minutes without having panic symptoms or it being too much. Yet im still expected to function like an Adult ?

I have no routine because of unemployment and a very small support system. I don't have many qualifications at all other than GCSEs and every employer expects experience. Even for an admin assistant or reception role so ... heres my question

What do you do for work , and how are you functioning !!